Cadillac Mescallade: Saints Leave Mark On Football World

For a long time making the playoffs was the dream, and then it was winning a playoff game, and then an NFC Championship, and then for nights like Sunday Night in Miami.

Years of losing and underachieving breed a cautious attitude. You see it in the Chicago Cubs, the Los Angeles Clippers, and a host of other franchises. But something is very different about the New Orleans Saints. For anyone that was just introduced to the black and gold in the last two weeks, this is a city and a franchise of eternal optimism. Perhaps it took such an unfortunate event like Katrina to reveal what many have always seem to know in the Bayou, the best day might only be a day away. It's what the people seem to believe and it's surely what these fans believe. The all-too-often 3-13 seasons and the 8-8 ledgers marking a good year have given way to what happened in South Florida in Super Bowl 44.

The New Orleans Saints played like a true underdog on the road to their first title in franchise history. They were forced to overcome a 10 point deficit, amazingly a record for the largest overcome deficit in Super Bowl history. They were gutsy, they relied on a young kicker to pile up the points, their small college receivers to make big-man-on-campus plays, the redemption of Jeremy Shockey, the reclamation of Jonathan Vilma, the revelation of Tracy Porter and even some trickery. An onside kick had never happened before the fourth quarter in Super Bowl, until Sunday night when the Saints executed it to perfection to open the second half. Those are the risks that needed to be taken. Credit coach Sean Payton for pressing the right buttons on this magical machine.

They had to look right into the eyes of Peyton Manning, one of the game's elite, a man that had carved up the AFC en route to a Super Bowl berth, and topple this Goliath. Saints quarterback and game MVP Drew Brees, who turned in a night near flawless, hoisted a Super Bowl trophy and called upon fate to help describe what happened to this New Orleans franchise. That sounds about right to me.

A lot of dominoes had to fall into place to make a title a reality for the New Orleans Saints. The stories have been told, but the Dolphins had to pass on Brees, Saints owner Tom Benson had to keep the Saints in Louisiana, and Peyton Manning had to commit just one mistake. Perhaps that last part seemed so unlikely. Manning was one last drive away from ascending to the right hand of Joe Montana among the great postseason quarterbacks, until of course Tom Brady returns to the conversation. Like any good action movie has shown us where good overcomes evil, or in this case just less good, there is always a fatal flaw in the enemy. For this battle it was the Manning interception, a true pick six for the defensive back Porter, and the final sealant on a win for the Saints. In the interim the less talked about quarterback Drew Brees firmly planted his name in the conversation of the games greats at the quarterback position.

But more than Brees rights or Manning's wrongs was the resolution of this battle, a win for fate, a title for America's Team, America's New Team. Who Dat, you ask rhetorically? The New Orleans Saints of course. The kids in New Orleans have the day off from school on Monday, the fleur de lis flew in the Vatican on Super Bowl Sunday, the onside kick worked, the paper bags will return to the grocery store, this was fate, belief, and hardwork all rolled into one. Lastly,the "S" becomes permanently affixed to the left side of "AINTS" and never shall the two separate because lest we ever forget the New Orleans Saints are Super Bowl Champions.

-Posted by Cadillac Mescallade

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Cadillac Mescalade: Super Bowl Stories Reaching Saturation Level

Unsure of which articles to read about the Super Bowl or perhaps tired of the hype?

Here is an easy Cliff's Notes on what you've missed, but you don't have to take my word for it.

I've got news for you! Archie Mannie served as quarterback for the New Orleans Saints for a decade during their heyday of losing! This man should be conflicted about who to root for in the big game coming up. You see, Archie's son, Peyton Manning is the starting quarterback for the Saints' opponent, the Indianapolis Colts.


Get this...Archie is going to side with his family and root for the Colts, in the words of another New Orleans legend that is a "numba one stunna." Not quite. With all due respect to Baby, and the rest of the Cash Money Millionaires, it's no surprise a father will side with his son and that this storyline is just one of the many that has been drummed up in the two week lead-up to the Super Bowl, which will finally kick off this Sunday in Miami.

The newspapers, websites, and blogs have given us interviews with the Manning's legendary housekeeper, Archie's next door neighbors, the other brother Cooper, Peyton's high school coach, college friends, and everyone short of his general practitioner to give us a better idea in how much the Manning's love New Orleans.

The other brother.

But this week they must support the Colts. Or better yet, what can these people tell us about what makes Peyton tick. We've learned that Reggie Bush has still a ways to go before he can catch the same spotlight created by backside of the girl by his side, to which I can see no downside. We've kept up with the Kardashians while finding the heartwarming story of Saints lineman Anthony Hargrove who has battled back from addiction to be a key component of the Saints Super Bowl game plan.

Pleas try to keep up.

It was let on that Saints Head Man Sean Payton, no relation to the other Peyton, ponied up some of his own salary to lure in defensive coordinator Gregg Williams. Williams, the man who has spearheaded the Saints resilient defense, one I fear will be put to the ultimate test against the Colts. However, it's the Saints offense everyone expects great things out of. If you hadn't heard, the San Diego Chargers left Drew Brees for dead and he has repaid the Saints faith ten-fold. In fact, we now know Brees is so well liked in New Orleans and not just by the secret society of well connected business man he meets with to better the community, but by the whole city who, win, lose, or draw in Miami will name their savior "Breesus" the Bacchus in 2010. This means he will reign as the 42nd King of the Krewe in the annual Carnival parade. A privilege somewhere between the Pro Bowl and eternal salvation.

A privilege somewhere between the Pro Bowl and eternal salvation.

Not to be outdone, it's evident Jim Caldwell has done just fine replacing Tony Dungy, a savior in his own right. The bond between the Colts is a strong one for a team that has a Super Bowl ring not too far removed from their rear view mirror. We know Manning is demanding, he may cuss out an offensive lineman, but rewards them with dream vacations in the off-season. Pierre Garcon took a sloppy high school work ethic, parlayed it into all-star career in Division 3 college football, and has hit the football lottery becoming part of the answer to who will replace Marvin Harrison. Keep in mind Garcon does all of this while keeping his homeland Haiti close to his heart and helping with what has been a tremendous outpouring of relief efforts across all sports.

Matt Stover has proved kickers are football's fountain of youth. This is a man that was a teammate of Phil Simms and remains a key to the Colts. But what you really need to know is that Dwight Freeney's ankle is getting better, or is it? Injury reports are often as accurate as my completed sudokus so take Freeney's self proclamations of improvement with a grain of salt. No worries. The Saints will prepare for this man and anyone else the Colts may send their way. They have Scott Fujita who isn't afraid to speak his mind, and Darren Sharper, remember nobody wanted him, not the Packers, nor the Vikings, turns out the while the city rebuilt itself, the Saints continue to rebuild careers. Cut to Jeremy Shockey smiling at the Super Bowl ring he has, but dreaming of the one he is going to get an actual chance to play for. A bigger smile might come from Manning, who know he's getting paid after this game, that's perhaps the only guarantee we have.

Oh yeah, and Madden NFL '10 has picked the Saints to win 35-31. I always did like that video game.

Kickoff is set for 6:25pm eastern, creeping ever closer to primetime. Commercials are up to 2.6 million per 30 seconds. While The Who will handle the halftime, who knew they first tried to retire in 1982? Speaking of which, Brett Favre...

NSFW, but damn amusing...

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The Next Food Network Quarterback

The Food Network has taken obscure kitchen-bound chefs and uppity home makers and turned them into international celebrities with cross-platform marketing appeal.

They have become the face of the Network and its mouthpieces, much the way quarterbacks have for both their respective teams and the NFL in general.

Food Network stars each have their own unique styles and quirky, albeit many times annoying, personalities. Much like NFL quarterbacks.

Pull up a fork and knife because after much, much too much discussion on the matter, the HHR staff offers you its Food Network Star/NFL Quarterback comparisons.

We start off with the Dean of the Food Network, Alton Brown...

Alton Brown: Good Eats; Feasting on Asphalt; Feasting on Waves; Iron Chef America

HHR Impressions

CR Dunbar: Alton gives me the creeps like Pennington. He can manage a decent show, but will never make the leap to primetime.

the chief: ALTON IS PRIME TIME. He’s on constantly, on like 5 different shows (Good Eats, Iron Chef, and his road/boat trip series). He’s unstoppable. He's Peyton Manning. He's everywhere at once.

Ariel: But he is creepy and knows too much about food. He is not Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning could be your Bobby Flay - on lots of commericals, sort of the wholesome face of professional football, likable, a big draw....

the chief: The only thing creepy about Alton Brown is how awesome he is.

Ariel: Expert on all things culinary... extremely intelligent, but a bit too intelligent and quirky to stomach. He could be your Tom Brady. Like too perfect.

the chief: You people are blasphemous, I tell you.

Ariel: Spoken like a true NE fan. I am telling you, Alton is Brady.

The Cynic: I don't say this very often, but the chief is right on this one. Alton Brown is the shizznit. (Also something I don't say very often.) However, I like the Alton Brown = Tom Brady analogy. They're both extremely good at what they do, you don't know anybody who just hates them and yet there's something a little disconcerting about them because they're almost too perfect.

NFL QB Counterpart: Tom Brady

Paula Deen: Paula's Party; Paula's Home Cooking

HHR Impressions

Ren: She’s a squealing, old Southerner. Sounds like Favre to me.

Ariel: Paula Deen is very charismatic, charming, and lovable. And loves her some butter.

Willard: Favre should be Paula Deen. Looks great and gets results but in the end, going to kill you. His interceptions are like butter.

Ariel: I like Farve as Paula Deen, but I also like Collins as Paula Deen (always seems intoxicated).

NFL QB Counterpart: Brett Favre

Emeril Lagasse: Emeril Live; Essence of Emeril

HHR Impressions

Rusty: Philip Rivers…they both like to yell. BAM!


NFL QB Counterpart: Philip Rivers

The Neelys: Down Home with the Neelys

HHR Impressions

Ren: Much too pleasant on screen to actually like one another. Something's dead wrong about their relationship. Reminds me of McNabb/Reid.

NFL QB Counterpart: Donovan McReid

Sandra Lee: Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee

She describes the philosophy as "70% store-bought/ready-made products accompanied by 30% fresh and creative touches, allowing you to take 100% of the credit.

HHR Impressions

Willard: That is Kerry Collins. Not even his team. All of a sudden he is Jesus Christ, Superstar.

Rev. Shaw Moore: Kurt Warner has to be Sandra Lee ... where would he be without Boldin and Fitzgerald?

Ren: Leinert’s Backup. I like Collins.

NFL QB Counterpart: Kerry Collins

Giada De Laurentiis: Everyday Italian; Behind the Bash; Giada's Weekend Getaways; Giada in Paradise; Giada at Home

HHR Impressions

Ren: Pretty face surrounded by big boobs. Sounds like Tony Romo and the Cowboys.

NFL QB Counterpart: Tony Romo

Ina Garten: Barefoot Contessa

HHR Impressions

Ren: One, if not the only, calm, soothing presence on the channel.

Assassin Ave: Is there a Jewish QB?

Ariel: This person also should be like a comfort food - you can always rely on them in a pinch.

Ren: Brees?

Assassin Ave: I thought of Brees, but not sure i see him as a calming influence. McNabb may be more calming. He seems pretty chill. He was very chill on Cribs.

Ariel: Mcnabb is NOT like comfort food. He is like spicy food that always gives you heartburn - but you eat it anyway.

NFL QB Counterpart: Drew Brees


Guy Fieri: The Next Food Network Star; Guy's Big Bites; Diners, Drive-ins & Dives

HHR Impressions

Ren: Fiesty, Cliched, Flamboyant. Garcia?

the chief: Guy's Big Bite? I say Palmer. That dude bites big-time.

Ariel: What about Roethlisberger? Biker-type. Kind of badass.

NFL QB Counterpart: Ben Roethlisberger

Mario Batali: Molto Mario; Ciao America; Iron Chef America

HHR Impressions

Ariel: Mario Batali is old school, one of the originals. Been around a while, but sort of in the background. Kind of like Jake Delhomme. Consistent, but not the first chef you think of. Never has a terribly bad season, and maybe gets to shine once or twice.

Ren: Plus they can go 8-2 and no one even knows it.

Ariel: There you go.

NFL QB Counterpart: Jake Delhomme

Cat Cora: Iron Chef America

HHR Impressions

Ren: Love her. But since she does shots after each match on the Iron Ref (and I hate to do this), only one man jumps to mind: Orton.

NFL QB Counterpart: Kyle Orton

Masaharu Morimoto: Iron Chef America

HHR Impressions

Ren: Foreign. Speaks very little English, but solid. Eli Manning.

Michael Symon: The Next Iron Chef; Dinner Impossible

HHR Impressions

Ariel: Mike Symon won Next Iron Chef... but he is the new badass on the block.

NFL QB Counterpart: Matt Ryan

----------

This is the part of the show when things got a little hairy. We'll let The Cynic explain:

"We all know that Peyton Manning is the biggest endorsement whore in pro sports. So the decision really comes down to this--who is the bigger media whore between Flay and Ray? Which one would stoop to, for example, pose for a skin mag? Hmmm, I wonder."



Bobby Flay: Iron Ref America; Boy Meets Grill; BBQ with Bobby Flay; Throwdown! with Bobby Flay; Grill It! with Bobby Flay

HHR Impressions

CR Dunbar: Bobby Flay doesn't back down from a challenge and takes a unique angle. Tom Brady. Plus rugged ginger looks.

Willard: BUT, if you watch Challenge, Flay always 'loses' to the hometown guy so in that respect, he is Matt Hasselbeck.

Ariel: See I think of Bobby Flay as the Food Network whore. He has like 3 shows of his own, guest stars on about a half dozen more. Who is like the call-girl for the NFL? Peyton Manning.

CR Dunbar: You shut your mouth. Flay is the man.

Ariel: I love him but he is a whore.

Rachael Ray: 30 Minute Meals; Rachael Ray's Tasty Travels

HHR Impressions

Ren: Dumpy, Endorsement Whore. Peyton Manning.

Ariel: Well, Ray has moved beyond the Food network. She is a self-promoting opportunist. And I don't think that off-camera she is a nice person. I have heard the opposite about Bobby Flay.

The Cynic: As for the whole Bobby Flay/Rachel Ray = Manning debate, I just know this.

1. My wife worships at the unholy Church of Rachel Ray.
2. My wife would leave me in a heartbeat for Peyton Manning.

Coincidence?

----------

Too close to call. Peyton Manning is such an endorsement whore that he is nothing less than the combined whoreness of Rachel Ray and Bobby Flay.

Still Hungry? Taking in a sporting event any time soon? Find out what the locals recommend at FanFoodie.com.

Peyton Manning: Gangland Icon

We in no way want to spread gang propaganda, but after I saw this Satan Disciple on the History Channel's Gangland series the other night, I couldn't help but wonder WTF? Peyton Manning?

No one represents thug life like a Manning.

Training Camp Postcards, Part 6 of 8: AFC South

As you may or may not follow, SI.com has dispatched "10 writers to report on the 32 NFL training camps across the country" and is featuring their reports throughout August in their Training Camp Postcard segment.

Here at HHR, we prefer to look at actual postcards sent by players to their loved ones, as opposed to Peter King drivel.

Today, we take a look at what's going on in Houston, TX (Texans), Terre Haute, IN (Colts), Jacksonville, FL (Jaguars), and Nashville, TN (Titans).

To See the Complete Parts 1-8, Click Here.

Two guys want to lick the Manning Brothers

I mean who doesn't. They are yummy. Oh, right. Calm down, Willard. Play hard to get. They will come to you.

Anyway, from the man with his pulse on all things Philly, Dan Gross....

Mannings put on their game faces for licking contest

Roxborough's George Stolzer, 63, a retired firefighter, and his son,Christopher, 36, of Honey Brook, a shipping manager at UMAC, will find out on July 10 as they battle the Mannings in hopes of winning $10,000 in the Oreo Double Stuf Racing League "Lick Race" in New Orleans.

I am giddy just thinking about the video and create-a-captions to come from that event.

What Might Have Been

While much brouhaha has surrounded yesterday's circus in Congress, equally disturbing in relation to the sanctity of our sports is the revelation that came of Sen. Arlen Specter's meeting (yesterday as well) with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, which brought to light the fact that "from the time he became the Patriots' head coach in 2000 until the league slapped him with a $500,000," Patriots coach Bill Belichick has "routinely had the opponents' signals taped."

Initially, people were up in arms about Specter's meddling and perceived grandstanding in the "Spygate" affair. However, in our eyes there is little difference between the competitive advantages gained by cheating in any fashion - be it performing enhancing drugs or any other means.

As Fanhouse's Michael David Smith noted, "Specter also suggested that some of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's success could have come from knowing what defense the opposing team was running."

Angelo Cataldi brought up a good point on WIP's morning show today. Like the premiss for Once Upon a Time in America, someone's life was stolen. Specifically, Brady's success inversely impacted that of Peyton Manning, whose Colts, not the NFC representative in the Super Bowl, were the front runners for the Lombardi Trophy. The dynasty that's associated with quarterbacking 3 of the last Super Bowls champions should have been Peyton's legacy.

While the last seven years have made Tom Brady a superstar and an icon, it was Peyton Manning who could have been knocking up Hollywood bombshells and dating super models.

So, Peyton, this is for you. A look at your life. At What Might Have Been.

I try not to think about what might have been
Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads

We can't go back again
There's no use givin in
And theres no way to know
What might have been

We can sit and talk about this all night long
And wonder why we didn't last
Yes, they might be the best days we will ever know
But we'll have to leave them in the past...

Commercial CRitic: Super Bowl Edition

As part of my non-paying job of critiquing sports-related commercials, I was expecting to be busy last night. I even timed my piss breaks during Terminator commercials. However, I was sorely disappointed in the amount of commercials with sports figures considering this was a sporting event and the male 18-35 demographic would be tuned in.

Nevertheless, one commercial stood out that was right up ol' Dunbar's alley. Shaq Jockey.

Before there was Peyton Manning, there was Shaquille O'Neal. His hundred megawatt smile and willingness to put on any show and take any dollar made him a mainstay in the advertising business. He came charging back last night.

Glaceau Vitamin Water Superbowl Commercial: Shaq as Jockey

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The commercial immediately grabs your attention with the rolling thunder of horse hooves. The announcer brings you in further, but is drowned out plugging the product and the reasoning that Shaq is riding Chunk of Love. It doesn't matter. Shaq riding a horse next to small jockeys is funny.

Using his assets to his advantage by pushing off jockeys and holding a horse's nose back with his wingspan to win is just good jockeying.

The kicker for me was that after a couple hours I was able to remember that it was for Vitamin Water. Like everyone else, it takes me awhile to remember what the commercial was for, but this one came right back to me.

Although I wasn't sure whether the horse took Vitamin Water or Shaq, it made sense that either one was going to need a boost to win the race.

Congratulations Vitamin Water, you made a good Super Bowl commercial.

Congratulation Shaq, you roared back into the advertising scene, and it looks like you are going to need the new source of income really soon.

The Others:

Pepsi used its grab-someone-out-of-Ariel's-latest-magazine approach to advertising and had Tony Romo say "Justin?" in an otherwise interesting spot. What we learned about Tony Romo, he drives an SUV, may or may not know Justin Timberlake.

Peyton Manning and Derek Jeter have Poison Ivy's ability to make plants grow by touching them when drinking Gatorade2.

Ben Roethlisberger was taken down a notch with an American Idol promo. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, ey Big Ben.

Commercial CRitic: Oreos or Gravy

Advertisers at Oreo (Kraft) went to who seems to be the only guy in the NFL that can sell product, Peyton Manning, for their latest commercial. Today, TV watchers across the country saw the second installment that answered a gonorrhea-like burning question of what the Manning boys second sport would be...Cream licking.

The commercial was cheesy (slight pun), but humorous with Archie putting in some simple sidekick work. It highlighted the product and market indicators must show that Peyton could sell condoms to Shawn Kemp.

(Yahoo! Espana)

Peyton's commercials are comical and the only knock on them is that they are plentiful. To counter the over saturation that is Peyton, Oreo cut a check to brother Eli, father Archie and mother Olivia.

The problem with the commercial is that it looks like a gravy train. Peyton brought his whole brood along for the ride, sans the Coop. Peyton's coattails already banked a massive contract for Eli, but now the tails are flowing off the field for the whole family.

It is one thing to do a family spot for SportsCenter (do they get paid for those?), it is another to try to get your family some extra coin by introducing them to the general public.

The spot is slightly funny, but reminiscent of commercials past of fake retirements. In the end, it smells more like gravy than oreos.

Sound Investment

What do I care? I'm getting paid.
(photo: MSNBC)

As our buddy Eric at phillyBurbs points out via the WA Post, whats the difference between Peyton and Eli? Get this Giants fans, only $300k.

That's what you get when you invest in legacy as opposed to reality.

Peyton - Eli = $300k

Enjoy looking at the Eli face, for a few more seasons, I know I will.

Cooper Manning leads family team to Thanksgiving touch football victory; Eli now officially worst Manning quarterback.

Mississippi- Cooper Manning went 14-22 with 8 TDs, in route to a lopsided 56-17 victory over his brother-in-law’s team during a friendly touch football game in the Heidingsfelder family’s backyard on Thanksgiving Day.

Cooper, older brother of NFL star Peyton Manning and NFL player Eli, is now statistically the third most successful quarterback in the Manning family.

“He is a great student of the game,” Peyton commented in a phone conversation after the Colts Thanksgiving Day win over the Falcons. “He knows that he has to throw to the guys on his team. That’s not an easy lesson for our family.”

Cooper started slowly, going incomplete on his first three pass attempts of the game, but then remembered everything he learned from watching brother Eli the past few seasons.

“I just thought back” Cooper laughed, “and did the opposite.”

The Heidingsfelders host a family touch game every season, but this is the first time Cooper has actually participated in his in-laws holiday game.

“When you younger brother is Peyton Manning,” he laughed “you don’t want to pick up a football. People expect you to be as good as him. That’s tough to live up to. You’d be an ass to try.”

The Heidingsfelders finally convinced Cooper to play, explaining that he couldn’t be any worse than Eli.

“Actually,” remarked father Archie Manning, “when you count Ricky and Danieal, Eli isn’t even the second most successful person named Manning in the NFL. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go beat my wife for convincing me to have a third child.”