NY Tabloids Try to Out-Fetish, Innuendo One Another in Front Page Jets Coverage

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5 Minutes with Nick Mangold

HHR caught up this morning with Jets All-Pro Center Nick Mangold, who was spending his off-day hyping a joint promotion between MasterCard and Jet Blue Airlines.

If the Jets win Super Bowl XLV, JetBlue and MasterCard will refund select one-way and roundtrip flight purchases made online on Nov. 1 or 2, at jetblue.com by a cardholder in the metro New York area using a MasterCard for travel during the month of December.

With our five minutes with Mangold, we tried to hit a broad spectrum of topics including texts from his quarterbacks, his thoughts on Rex Ryan, his use of social media, and his feelings, as an Ohio native, on LeBron James' "Decision" and his on thoughts on team loyalty.



Visit jetblue.com/jets to learn more about how MasterCard and JetBlue can provide them with free airfare.

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In Addressing McNabb Trade, Former Eagle Takes Shot at the Ol' Gunslinger

Since announcing his candidacy for US Congress, former All Pro lineman Jon Runyan is asked as many football questions by reporters as political ones.

With the recent Donovan McNabb trade, however, there was finally something good (football-wise) to ask the former Eagle about.

VAN SUSTEREN: All right, now, what's the story about Donovan McNabb? You played with him with the Eagles. Why the Redskins? What's that going to do for the Redskins and what's that going to do to the Eagles?

RUNYAN: Well, I think the Eagles were in a unique situation where they actually had three starting quarterbacks on the roster, so they were able to shop, you know, each one individually, and it ultimately ended up being Donovan going to Washington, which surprised a lot of people around here, especially the fact that they're playing in the division twice a year. So it's going to be an interesting thing. I mean, they have traditionally in Washington, they have a great defense. You know, if they can come out and put together some -- put -- you know, put together some scoring drives and put points on the board, they're a very formidable team here in the NFC East.

VAN SUSTEREN: You know, it's a little like having Donovan McNabb go from the Eagles to the Redskins because it's the same -- they're going to play against each other -- it's a little bit like Brett Favre going from the Packers to the Vikings. You know, they're both incredible rivalries, and now they've -- they've lost -- they've now lost or given away or however you want to describe it, their quarterbacks.

RUNYAN: Yes, but minus the "I want to play, I want to retire, I want to play, I want to retire" fiasco.

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Mother Hen Brad Childress on Farve Clucking with the Vikes

WISN: Vikings coach Brad Childress said he is comfortable with Brett Favre waiting as long as he did last year to decide if he will play for Minnesota this season.

"Well, as a coach, you're a mother hen."

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Brett Favre Mocks Big Ben

As if Brett Favre needed another reason for people to disdain him, we found this video of the 'ol gunslinger making light of Roethlisberger's latest unfortunate situation.

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Right Brain Fantasy Report: What to do with Father Time aka Brett Favre

HHR Failed to make the playoffs, but for your entertainment, we'll keep posting Dewey's rants. You can check out his breakdown every Thursday at Yardbarker's Right Brain Fantasy Report.

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Brett Favre and the Pursuit of Happiness

Play As Long As You Want Favre.

While sure to rile up some folks, I really don't have a problem with Brett Favre coming back to play for the Minnesota Vikings or anyone else. Do I think it's a problem that Vikings Coach Brad Childress just slid his two current quarterbacks out of the way to make room for Favre after saying he wouldn't? Yes. Was it absolutely draining tht ESPN covers his every move in a potential comeback like a presidential campaign? Yes. But these aren't Favre's problems. I know there are a lot of reasons people have speculated as to why Favre is coming back. He wants to come back to get revenge on the Packers when the two meet up twice this season or maybe he is just looking at another payday. I'm sure those will all be nice parts of the package, getting some 25 million for two years and also a chance to take down the franchise that no longer wanted you have to be incentives, but I think at the end of the day he just wanted to play football again.

Photo: Elizabeth Flores/Star Tribune, via Associated Press

I am by no means a lifelong Favre fan but I can totally understand someone wanting to still do something they love even when others feel like it's time to move on. What has soured many folks on Favre is the back and forth on his retirement that has gone on for nearly the last decade. Perhaps he is like your friend at the diner who never knows what he wants and can't fully make up his decision until the waitress demands an order. Then after he gets the grilled cheese he knows he made a mistake. We all know people like that. It just so happens this isn't our friend, and these decisions aren't taking place at the diner. And yes I'm aware that playing professional football is more important than ordering food, but it feels like the same thought process for Favre. He seemed resolved finally to place his order of retirement, and in a rare move he was given a chance to order yet again, and this time he figured out what he really wanted deep down, to play.

Anyone who has seen the latest installation of the Rocky Balboa movies knows where Favre is coming from. As the "Rock" says, Favre probably still has some stuff left in the basement that he wants to get out. Just like in Rocky alot of people don't get why Favre is doing this. What does he have to prove? Why risk further injury? Why be greedy? Truthfully, it's not really about any of these things, at least I don't think. I'd like to think it's about a guy that just loves a sport and wants to keep playing it as long as possible. To anyone who has ever played three-on-three basketball until it gets dark out, or has thrown the football around until you can't see it anymore in the night sky, we have all had this feeling. The feeling to want to maximize as much time as you possibly can doing something you truly enjoy.

Unfortunately most fans now don't get to play or do the things they love as much anymore. They have jobs, families, committments, and sometimes bodies that can't do it anymore. Instead they are saturated with just a fan experience of highlights shows, fantasy stats for players, and bottom lines with repetitive updates about things like if a quarterback will once and for all comeback. Maybe that has made some of us cynical or jaded because we can't make decisions like Favre just did. We can't up and decide we will play sports again full time, or start up the old garage band again, or whatever the dream might be. I can only imagine if most fans were given a similar opportunity they would jump all over it. To further that I like the idea that he keeps playing because that's probably what I would do. I'd keep playing a sport until it was physically impossible. As Rocky says when informed of the pursuit of happiness, "the point is I'm pursuing something and nobody looks to happy about it"

Who knows what will happen this season, maybe Favre's arm isn't strong enough and he doesn't even make it all the way through, or perhaps he has a rejuvenation and leads the Vikings to the Super Bowl, or maybe it's just an average season that ends in a very average way. However it ends, Favre will have gotten another chance to do what he loves to do and we should all be so lucky.

-Posted by Cadillac Mescallade

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Jamele Hill and Skip Bayless Still Obsessed with Sexy Quarterbacks

Obviously, Hill and Bayless are basing their judgment on little more than their attraction to the quarterbacks.

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The Skip Bayless Homoerotic QB Jinx

Mike "The Fish" Fisher at DallasBasketball.com did a fantastic followup on our blurb about Skip Bayless' ogling of NFL QB hotties on First Take last week: "Skip has five budding bromances. Brady and Brett and Tony and Kurt and Donovan. ... it's like two threesomes! Except. ... once Skip proclaimed his manlove, things went south for the objects of his affection."

ESPN's Queer Eye For The NFL Straight Guy Goes 0-For-5

What is a Four-Letter Word for "Throw Interceptions"?

The Next Food Network Quarterback

The Food Network has taken obscure kitchen-bound chefs and uppity home makers and turned them into international celebrities with cross-platform marketing appeal.

They have become the face of the Network and its mouthpieces, much the way quarterbacks have for both their respective teams and the NFL in general.

Food Network stars each have their own unique styles and quirky, albeit many times annoying, personalities. Much like NFL quarterbacks.

Pull up a fork and knife because after much, much too much discussion on the matter, the HHR staff offers you its Food Network Star/NFL Quarterback comparisons.

We start off with the Dean of the Food Network, Alton Brown...

Alton Brown: Good Eats; Feasting on Asphalt; Feasting on Waves; Iron Chef America

HHR Impressions

CR Dunbar: Alton gives me the creeps like Pennington. He can manage a decent show, but will never make the leap to primetime.

the chief: ALTON IS PRIME TIME. He’s on constantly, on like 5 different shows (Good Eats, Iron Chef, and his road/boat trip series). He’s unstoppable. He's Peyton Manning. He's everywhere at once.

Ariel: But he is creepy and knows too much about food. He is not Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning could be your Bobby Flay - on lots of commericals, sort of the wholesome face of professional football, likable, a big draw....

the chief: The only thing creepy about Alton Brown is how awesome he is.

Ariel: Expert on all things culinary... extremely intelligent, but a bit too intelligent and quirky to stomach. He could be your Tom Brady. Like too perfect.

the chief: You people are blasphemous, I tell you.

Ariel: Spoken like a true NE fan. I am telling you, Alton is Brady.

The Cynic: I don't say this very often, but the chief is right on this one. Alton Brown is the shizznit. (Also something I don't say very often.) However, I like the Alton Brown = Tom Brady analogy. They're both extremely good at what they do, you don't know anybody who just hates them and yet there's something a little disconcerting about them because they're almost too perfect.

NFL QB Counterpart: Tom Brady

Paula Deen: Paula's Party; Paula's Home Cooking

HHR Impressions

Ren: She’s a squealing, old Southerner. Sounds like Favre to me.

Ariel: Paula Deen is very charismatic, charming, and lovable. And loves her some butter.

Willard: Favre should be Paula Deen. Looks great and gets results but in the end, going to kill you. His interceptions are like butter.

Ariel: I like Farve as Paula Deen, but I also like Collins as Paula Deen (always seems intoxicated).

NFL QB Counterpart: Brett Favre

Emeril Lagasse: Emeril Live; Essence of Emeril

HHR Impressions

Rusty: Philip Rivers…they both like to yell. BAM!


NFL QB Counterpart: Philip Rivers

The Neelys: Down Home with the Neelys

HHR Impressions

Ren: Much too pleasant on screen to actually like one another. Something's dead wrong about their relationship. Reminds me of McNabb/Reid.

NFL QB Counterpart: Donovan McReid

Sandra Lee: Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee

She describes the philosophy as "70% store-bought/ready-made products accompanied by 30% fresh and creative touches, allowing you to take 100% of the credit.

HHR Impressions

Willard: That is Kerry Collins. Not even his team. All of a sudden he is Jesus Christ, Superstar.

Rev. Shaw Moore: Kurt Warner has to be Sandra Lee ... where would he be without Boldin and Fitzgerald?

Ren: Leinert’s Backup. I like Collins.

NFL QB Counterpart: Kerry Collins

Giada De Laurentiis: Everyday Italian; Behind the Bash; Giada's Weekend Getaways; Giada in Paradise; Giada at Home

HHR Impressions

Ren: Pretty face surrounded by big boobs. Sounds like Tony Romo and the Cowboys.

NFL QB Counterpart: Tony Romo

Ina Garten: Barefoot Contessa

HHR Impressions

Ren: One, if not the only, calm, soothing presence on the channel.

Assassin Ave: Is there a Jewish QB?

Ariel: This person also should be like a comfort food - you can always rely on them in a pinch.

Ren: Brees?

Assassin Ave: I thought of Brees, but not sure i see him as a calming influence. McNabb may be more calming. He seems pretty chill. He was very chill on Cribs.

Ariel: Mcnabb is NOT like comfort food. He is like spicy food that always gives you heartburn - but you eat it anyway.

NFL QB Counterpart: Drew Brees


Guy Fieri: The Next Food Network Star; Guy's Big Bites; Diners, Drive-ins & Dives

HHR Impressions

Ren: Fiesty, Cliched, Flamboyant. Garcia?

the chief: Guy's Big Bite? I say Palmer. That dude bites big-time.

Ariel: What about Roethlisberger? Biker-type. Kind of badass.

NFL QB Counterpart: Ben Roethlisberger

Mario Batali: Molto Mario; Ciao America; Iron Chef America

HHR Impressions

Ariel: Mario Batali is old school, one of the originals. Been around a while, but sort of in the background. Kind of like Jake Delhomme. Consistent, but not the first chef you think of. Never has a terribly bad season, and maybe gets to shine once or twice.

Ren: Plus they can go 8-2 and no one even knows it.

Ariel: There you go.

NFL QB Counterpart: Jake Delhomme

Cat Cora: Iron Chef America

HHR Impressions

Ren: Love her. But since she does shots after each match on the Iron Ref (and I hate to do this), only one man jumps to mind: Orton.

NFL QB Counterpart: Kyle Orton

Masaharu Morimoto: Iron Chef America

HHR Impressions

Ren: Foreign. Speaks very little English, but solid. Eli Manning.

Michael Symon: The Next Iron Chef; Dinner Impossible

HHR Impressions

Ariel: Mike Symon won Next Iron Chef... but he is the new badass on the block.

NFL QB Counterpart: Matt Ryan

----------

This is the part of the show when things got a little hairy. We'll let The Cynic explain:

"We all know that Peyton Manning is the biggest endorsement whore in pro sports. So the decision really comes down to this--who is the bigger media whore between Flay and Ray? Which one would stoop to, for example, pose for a skin mag? Hmmm, I wonder."



Bobby Flay: Iron Ref America; Boy Meets Grill; BBQ with Bobby Flay; Throwdown! with Bobby Flay; Grill It! with Bobby Flay

HHR Impressions

CR Dunbar: Bobby Flay doesn't back down from a challenge and takes a unique angle. Tom Brady. Plus rugged ginger looks.

Willard: BUT, if you watch Challenge, Flay always 'loses' to the hometown guy so in that respect, he is Matt Hasselbeck.

Ariel: See I think of Bobby Flay as the Food Network whore. He has like 3 shows of his own, guest stars on about a half dozen more. Who is like the call-girl for the NFL? Peyton Manning.

CR Dunbar: You shut your mouth. Flay is the man.

Ariel: I love him but he is a whore.

Rachael Ray: 30 Minute Meals; Rachael Ray's Tasty Travels

HHR Impressions

Ren: Dumpy, Endorsement Whore. Peyton Manning.

Ariel: Well, Ray has moved beyond the Food network. She is a self-promoting opportunist. And I don't think that off-camera she is a nice person. I have heard the opposite about Bobby Flay.

The Cynic: As for the whole Bobby Flay/Rachel Ray = Manning debate, I just know this.

1. My wife worships at the unholy Church of Rachel Ray.
2. My wife would leave me in a heartbeat for Peyton Manning.

Coincidence?

----------

Too close to call. Peyton Manning is such an endorsement whore that he is nothing less than the combined whoreness of Rachel Ray and Bobby Flay.

Still Hungry? Taking in a sporting event any time soon? Find out what the locals recommend at FanFoodie.com.

Cowboy Tony Succumbs to Peer Pressure

First he loses to the Cards. Then he gets injured. Then Iron Man Brett Favre tells him to man the hell up. Then D-II Trevor Wikre shows him up by telling doctors to "cut it off." So Tony Romo does what any emasculated man with a pinkie injury would do. He collapses in the face of peer pressure and decides to show us all how tough he is. We'll see. The decision to play after being teased like a 10-year old, shows just how emotionally unstable he is.

You're Serious?

For the Brett Favre fan that has everything...

Get your US Mint "All Time GREAT" coin which "features a meticulously detailed portrait of Brett Favre complete with his certified reproduced autograph and the Statue of Liberty beautifully embossed on the reverse."

"Certified reproduced." Interesting.

And by "officially licensed" they mean "just short of the point where we can use the official Packers' logo."

Bet these coins end up in the wrong people's hands - just like a Favre pass.

Click for commercial video link.

Soon We Will Discover That Brett Favre Has Tits

Apparently it's big news that Eric Mangini reminded Brett Favre today at practice, that despite his Hall of Fame resume, he's just one of the guys.

He better watch the hell out for Zabka.

Hasselbeck calls out Favre

Ok, fine, he didn't. But can someone rip the guy?

I have no doubt that Brett Favre is a nice guy and extremely well liked by everyone in the NFL. Look no further than every single comment made by every NFL player in regard to the Favre/Packer situation.

Let's take former Favre back-up Matt Hasselbeck for example. In a recent interview, the Favre/Rodgers situation came up...

So what about Favre's former back-up QB Aaron Rodgers? Do you sympathize with what he's gone through, with Favre retiring, then not, then coming back, then not?

No, I don't sympathize for him, but I understand what he is going through. I mean, being a backup QB is a really frustrating job because you need to be ready to go every week and you might not get the chance. I did that for three years and I didn't get to play. It is just part of the job.

I just want someone in the NFL to say "Favre may still have it, but he should have decided that fact before the season started" and not come in and out retirement like a WWE wrestler.


Hasselbeck can't sympathize because the job was never going to be his to win. In 1999-2000 the job was Favre's until he retired. Until he ACTUALLY retired. For good. Rodgers waited his turn and had the job until Favre and his itch. Hasselbeck also can't sympathize because he got the hell out of dodge after a two seasons and high-tailed it to Seattle.

I can't blame him for that either.

He was going to a much better situation...

Minor league team welcomes Favre to Jersey

Brett Favre is officially part of the New Jersey sports scene. To welcome him to the Garden State, the Trenton Thunder (Yankees minor league affiliate) have offered him a free tickets for the rest of the season.

(Trenton, NJ) - Upon hearing the news that future Hall of Fame quarterback Brett Favre had been traded to the New York Jets, the Trenton Thunder, the Double A affiliate of the New York Yankees, offered the former Green Bay Packer season tickets for the remainder of the 2008 Thunder season.

"This is a big transition for Brett and his family, and the Thunder wanted to ensure they would feel welcome in the Garden State from day one," said Thunder Assistant General Manager Greg Coleman. The New York Jets play their home games in East Rutherford, NJ which is approximately an hour drive from Trenton.

You know the crazy thing. The Jets were going to give away free tickets this season before they got Favre.

Odd how that happens.

Favre Wrangles His Way to NY

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been staying up nights wondering what was going to happen to Brett Favre. So imagine my surprise when I found out last night that Favre is going to channel his inner Vinny Testaverde to take over the QB reins of the Jets at the advanced football age of 38.

Without a doubt, this move improves the Jets passing game for the simple fact that downfield throws have been reinstalled into the weekly game plan. Whether it makes the Jets good enough to compete with the Patriots … well, no, it does not. The Jets are clearly still second fiddle in the AFC East.

Meanwhile, Chad Pennington got dumped on the street like last week’s trash. Of course, the internal anatomy of his right shoulder is trash, so there is some merit to the analogy.

That said, Pennington sacrificed a ton for the Jets: he played hurt, he underwent multiple surgeries to get back on the field, and played the good soldier role even as he and Kellen Clemens alternated turns being trampled by the oncoming Patriots pass rush. That still doesn’t qualify him as the best quarterback for the Jets, but as the eloquent poet Rick James used to sing, Pennington being waived is just a little cold blooded.



It’s been said that the NFL means “Not For Long”, but in this case, I suppose it could mean something else: “No F**king Loyalty”.

But who cares about Pennington? If anything can be gleaned from this disaster it’s that Favre doesn’t care who he runs over on his way to posting double-digit interception numbers this season.

For God’s sake, Brett had the “itch” to play ball! (Just on his terms and no one else’s.)

-Posted by Rev. Shaw Moore

Training Camp Postcards, Part 3 of 8: NFC North

As you may or may not follow, SI.com has dispatched "10 writers to report on the 32 NFL training camps across the country" and is featuring their reports throughout August in their Training Camp Postcard segment.

Here at HHR, we prefer to look at actual postcards sent by players to their loved ones, as opposed to Peter King drivel.

Today, we take a look at what's going on in , WI (Packers), Mankato, MN (Vikings), Bourbonnais, IL (Bears) and Allen Park, MI (Lions) from a player's perspective.

To See the Complete Parts 1-8, Click Here.

Former Packer QBs Lining Up to Compete for Starting Job

When they heard Coach Mike McCarthy was offering retired Packer quarterbacks the chance to compete for the starting gig, several former Green Bay signal callers felt they still had a little gas left in their tanks.

Bart Starr
Age: 74
Pros: More mobile and able to escape pocket than the elderly Favre. Starr has an NFL award named after him. The Bart Starr Award recognizes outstanding character, a lack of which by Packer QBs lately has caused this pre-season mess. He's a Hall of Fame quarterback and when a Hall of Fame quarterback who has been an icon for your team says he can still play, nothing else matters. And he's the only one actually in the Hall of Fame.

Bart Starr Statue
Age: 4
Pros: More mobile and able to escape pocket than the elderly Favre. Never addicted to pain killers. Doesn't cry at press conferences.

Don Majkowski
Age 44
Pros: Has a Majk touch. His injury paved the way to Brett Favre seeing the field and subsequently finding success. That should account for something. You OWE him Green Bay. You owe him.

Doug Pederson
Age: 40
Pros: A long-time Favre backup, he knows the system, without having to take a beating by actually having to play. He can hold the spot down for Rodgers and teach young Aaron a thing a two, much like he did for McNabb in Philadelphia.

Ty Detmer
Age 41
Pros: 2 for 1 deal, apprenticed under brother Koy in the craft of holding. He's a Heisman winner with a bloodline. Cares more about football than he does hunting and fishing in Mississippi. Can spell "Mississippi."

Can We Laugh at Brett Favre Crying Like a Woman Now?

When Brett Favre tearfully announced his retirement following last season, it seemed we were one of the very few sports blogs at the time that found it downright amusing.

Further, we wondered how many bloggers had the audacity to call out Laura Ingram for putting him in his place and questioning his manhood, when they have no qualms poking fun of every little misstep athletes make.

So now we wonder.

Can we laugh now?

Can we make fun of St. Brett?

Can we offer a collecting blogger appology for calling Laura Ingram every dirty word in the book generally associated with the female anatomy? Maybe her words seemed off at the time, but doesn't a "real man's" word mean something? Isn't a real man a man of honesty, integrity and loyalty?

Anyway, just for fun, let's take a look at some of those terms of endearment bestowed upon Ingram in March (WARNING - POTTY MOUTHS):

Crazy 'Woman' Calls Brett Favre 'Woman': "... but it's worth pointing out that FOX News commentator/yapcunt Laura Ingraham laid into Brett Favre for his emotional display at the press conference during which he announced his retirement." (With Leather)

Favre Found to Be Female; Will Never Be Successful Sports Blogger Now: "In a shocking development, wingnut batshit yapcunt radio host Laura Ingraham has revealed to the world that once-revered Green Bay Packers quarterback is, in actuality, a woman..." (KSK)

FOX News Commentator Calls Brett Favre A Woman For Crying During Speech: "That's right guys, it's NOT okay to cry, and you WANT a woman like Laura Ingraham in your life! Seriously.....I can't even put the words together to say how irresponsible and downright stupid that message is." (Awful Announcing)

Brett Favre is a woman, says someone who is sort of like a woman: "Upon further review, however, I think the fact that Miss Ingraham works at FOX News disqualifies her from being a normal woman." (Shutdown Corner)

Here's what some FanHouse commentators said..

"laura is a whora" (nyranger26)

"Sadly, whoever steals Ann Coulter's crown for Queen of the Harpies gets all her book deals." (JCN)

"Someone should punch that self-righteous bitch in the face." (Ned Yost is Kenny Rogers)

"LAURA INGRAHAM IS A STUPID BITCH - I DIDNT KNOW THERE WAS A USELESS IDIOT WHO CALLS HERSELF A JOURNALIST. WHAT A TOTAL WASTE OTF TIME THIS SCUM IS. I AM SURE BRETT IS REALLY LOOSING SLEEP OVER THIS. SHE MUST HAVE NEVER SEEN IT WHEN STEVE YOUNG RETIRED - GO GET A JOB YOU MORON,." (sarlocks)

"lura you suck ya bitch.if you would stop and think how much BRETT FAVRE Loved football,more then any football player in history.but no.bitch you suck." (joseph matusick)

---

HHR would like to thank Laura for saying what needed to be said. Despite the backlash she received, at least she stick to her convictions, unlike some sniveling little self-righteous effeminate QB.