Separated at Birth: All the Kings Horses...

Saw Puss N Boots today. Papelbon was magnificent as Humpty Dumpty.

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...For Superfan #99 Over Here

Our buddy Bernie, formerly of FoxSports.com's Cubed, acted out one of the greatest scenes in 90's cinematic history with the dialogue's focal point.

I can't help but say that I am so super jealous that I'd like to make his head bleed.

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From The DC Bureau: Underrated Player Of The Day - Clay Buchholz

Turns out there's two things in the sports world I didn't know about, one is the NFL, the other is about Boston Red Sox pitcher Clay Buchholz. Via Bleacher Report who highlights his girlfriend--Erica Ellyson, a Penthouse Pet and "soft-core" porn star. Meet your 2011 Blue Pulaski MLB MVP.

"No, we actually didn't meet at church."

-Blue Pulaski

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Separated at Birth: You Get Nothing, You Lose! Good Day Sir!

Somewhere Ken Rosenthal has a magic chocolate waterfall.

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Mescalade & KO Try Their Hand at Hollywood with Reebok RealFlex

Reebok brought out some big guns recently in Manhattan to tout the release of their brand new RealFlex Shoe and I’m not referring to myself and Kevin Owens, however we were there too. Celebrities Josh Duhamel and Ali Larter were on hand to promote the launch of the shoe with a stunt demo. Two actors that pride themselves on taking on stunts when allowed, they presided over a demonstration that had some trained stunt professionals fall off balconies, leap over large boulders, slide by taxi cabs and crash through faux windows.

While I can’t promise you the shoes will help you do all the above, they will bring a new take to your workout routine. The third in a series of three releases by Reebok over the last couple of years the shoes seem to get you as close to the barefoot running trend that has taken off while also still keeping you in a legitimate pair of sneakers. The “flex” part of the name in these kicks is no joke as you can literally bend them in half. Super lightweight they come equipped with 76 different sensors on the bottom of the sole, something artfully played on in the national commercial now airing.

Without weighing you down in shoe science or a trip to podiatry school the seeming goal of the shoe is to return running to the balls of your feet rather than putting stress on your heels. Way back in the day, think pre Plymouth Rock, we were likely meant to run barefoot. Most people when shoeless tend to go off the balls of their feet, something not seen when wearing well padded running shoes. Since we now live in a world full of very hard surfaces these shoes aim to find a happy medium of giving you cushion for all conditions while also encouraging your running style to revert back to the days of yore.

I took them out for a spin on the stunt track and they worked well in clearing fake boulders and tackling a mini tramp. A three mile run the next day found the shoes definitely bring you closer to the road while also taking some pressure of your heels. Like any shoe a few more runs will bare out the true results.

As for the event itself, it was a spectacle of media folks decked out in the new shoes trying their hand at activities we all haven’t attempted in years including the old ‘let me see if I can jump over that downed tree’. Those on hand were able to witness Kevin Owens aka WaitingForGodunk vault off the mini-trampoline and through a fictional window. You don't find too many 6'10" stunt men these days and with Kevin recently announcing his retirement there could be another career in the works. Or should I ever realize the dream of owning my own SlamBall franchise, I already know my first pick.

On the sports side of things post event we were able to catch up with Duhamel, who despite roots in pro-sports barren North Dakota is quite the fan. He’s a Lakers guy these days, who pulls for Phil Jackson (a fellow ND native) and made a strong move into acting when like many of us (Not Kevin), reality struck that he would not be a pro athlete. He chimed in on a wide variety of topics.


Favorite player growing up…

George Gervin, I used to have a George Gervin poster on my wall

Seeing games in person…

I remember seeing Iverson play, he is one of my all time favorite. He is so quick, no wasted movements. Same with Steve Nash, because they are a little bit shorter, every move, they almost see it before it happens.

Favorite player today…

I love Kobe, he’s just an assassin out there, he’s an alpha alpha male.

Favorite seats at a basketball game…

I like to sit up in the stands a little bit, I don’t like to be right down on the floor. You are in a fishbowl.

Hopes for this year’s playoffs…

I’d like to see the Heat get beat, I didn’t like all the shit talking last year. The pep rally in Miami, that was too much.

On Phil Jackson leaving…rumors he’d go to New York

It seems like it (he’s leaving), you never know. I’d hate to see him leave. I’d like to see New York come back, and be strong again, they are getting there.

On playing an athlete in a movie or TV show…

That’s always been one of my dreams, before I get too old. (Told he could play Phil Jackson) I could maybe coach, but yeah there’s always been a real desire to play either a football player or baseball player or even basketball. I don’t know how believable I’d be as a competitive basketball player.

On the Reebok RealFlex sneakers…

These are like the barefoot shoes but only better. In a realistic world you wouldn’t be able to run around in barefeet, in nature you can but I think this is the answer to that.

On the fun of doing stunt demonstrations…

You are a little exposed, normally I like to make people think I’m really good at these so now they are probably getting an idea that I’m not.

How improve training benefited his acting…

Just to listen, you need somebody opposite of you listening and somebody to listen to. If not you are just in a scene by yourself and the scene is probably gonna suck.

On having to have Reebok Pumps growing up…

You weren’t going to be any good at basketball if you don’t have a couple of pumps in there.

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Dunbar's Date Night: Secretariat

Lady Dunbar and I had an unintentional private screening of Secretariat last night. I guess Tuesday nights are not Disney family nights.

Rarely do I venture out to the movie theater, let alone for a movie that is rated below R and does not feature any crotch shots in the previews. Nonetheless, with Breeders’ Cup knocking at the door and with a movie based on horse racing, I decided that I needed to spend an outlandish amount of money to go see it in the theater.

It is difficult captivating an audience when 90 percent of the viewers already know the outcome and when the storyline is the exact same as Seabiscuit (2003), but I have to say that the movie was engaging and hopefully will bring in some horse racing fans.

Some of the critiques: Diane Lane – No doubt she is a sexy old lady, but I have no clue what age she is trying to pull off in this movie. Husband looks 15 years her junior. Wig works as well as a toupee.

I am woman, hear me roar theme – eh. Stick with the racing and add a gambling is wicked fun theme, Disney.

Lafayette from True Blood was the horse’s handler. Sorry Lafayette, you are type-casted. See Neal Patrick Harris for some pointers. [picture of Lafayette]

The horse racing shots were good; seemed much faster and real life than Seabiscuit’s, which were also good.

The movie inspired me put winning a Grade 1 race on my bucket list. Would like to boost that up to a Triple Crown race, but I think Grade 1 is more realistic for a guy with no money and has no clue how to purchase or train a horse. Who wants in?

Speaking of which, sadly the humble beginnings horse story is all too rare this day and age and is the only way to garner excitement in the sport. I hope this movie excites some horse loving for the action, but I doubt you will see something like this again. I don’t think people are going to get excited for: sheik becomes millionaire after string of bad luck, but then is saved by his horse and becomes a billionaire again. There is enough action in horse racing for you to get engaged.

All around, a fine movie for PG. I will pair it up with Seabiscuit for my annual horsie movie before the Derby as Lady Dunbar will inevitable buy it.

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Preserving History: Kobe's Legacy Over Shaddowed by that of Woody and Buzz

After each major sporting event, HHR takes a look at how it is portrayed in news print in some of the nation's leading dailies. Part out of curiosity, and part to preserve the dying medium.

Can Kobe not get any respect? Much ado was made about the chip on his shoulder in the Finals due to memories of raucous Celtics fans in 2008 attacking the LA bus after the C's knocked off the Lakers, that year. There was also the apparent bitterness he felt over LeBron being awarded the MVP this year only to see an early exit in the post season. Now, there's no telling what sort of vendetta Kobe will look to avenge when he realizes most major media outlets are overshadowing his latest championship with the frenzy over the release of Toy Story 3.

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Great Moments in Tasing History

The web is a buzz after a Philadelphia rabblerouser was tased after storming the field like a jackass last night at Citizens Bank Park.



In that JO's honor, we present some of our favorite tasing moments.

The definitive...



An LP, a Jackson, a 70's sex symbol and an Osborne walk into a police station...



Not you, Fat Jesus...



Michael Vick pron...



Who/what are your nominees?

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The Gally Blog: Who Is the ‘Blogfather?’

JE Skeets CAN ACT LIKE A MAN!

The gents at The Gally Blog "swooped in to debate who should be cast in the roles of the classic Francis Ford Coppola film series if all the parts were cast as sports bloggers."

It's phenomenal. CLICK HERE.

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Separated at Birth: General Zod

WVU's Deniz Kilicli now has time resume plotting the demise of Superman.

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Blogs With Balls Radio, Episode 21

This week’s Blogs With Balls Show on the JoeSportsFan Radio Network is now available.

Download Episode 21 here, or subscribe via iTunes.



Lucas has long been an advocate that the future of sports blogging lies in content producers adopting more than just the written word and dabbling in audio and video. We kick off the week talking a little about some folks who do the latter quite well.

Our ballsy blog of the week belongs to our good friends at The Global Sports Fraternity who did an absolute phenomenal job creating original, entertaining content at the Super Bowl in Miami.

Most notably, GSF's Henry Lowenfels gave Lions QB Matt Stafford the business at the Gatorade Fitness Lab.



We'd be remissed talking video if we didn't mention our BwB videographers and editors Ben Eckstein and Rob Baker, as well as the great work done by Wondershot Productions (who gave us the BwB opening/welcome video).

Our favorite ongoing use of video-that-should-be-its-own-TV-show is from our podcasting partners at Joe Sports Fan, who this week brought us the return of The Softball Guy.

An Exclusive, Emotional Interview with Softball Guy from JoeSportsFan.com on Vimeo.

Our guest this week was a panelist at Blogs With Balls 1.0 in New York and winner of the inaugural Blogs With Balls Charity Poker Shootout, Adam Best.


Best is the co-founder (with his brother Zach, a web designer) and senior editor of the FanSided.com sports network as well as the site that launched the network, Arrowhead Addict.

What sets FanSided apart from its competitors is the family-like business approach that Adam has taken to advancing it. Adam talks about the progression from blogging on his Chiefs site to creating the original make-up of FanSided as an NFL blog network to one encompassing multi-sports and housing 135 different sites. He taps into the importance of forging strategic partnerships, like he has with Yardbarker.com/Fox Sports and CBS Sports.

He also recently launched FlickSided.com, a site dedicated to his other passion - film.

This week’s links of interest:

• FanSided.com
• Arrowhead Addict
• FlickSided.com
• @adamcbest
• @FanSided
• @FlickSided
• The Global Sports Fraternity
• @TheGSF
• Joe Sports Fan
• @joesportsfan
• @thesoftballguy
• Beryllium Pictures
• Kabimba Media
• Wondershot Productions

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Blogs With Balls Radio, Episode 17

This week’s Blogs With Balls Show on the JoeSportsFan Radio Network is now available.

Download Episode 17 Here.

This week we focus on sports fans and are joined by not one, but two very special guests.

First, we talk with Hollywood royalty - actor Scott Caan, son of James and admittedly most known for his roll as Tweeder in Varsity Blues. (This is actually the second person from the film we have had on the show, having talked with director Mike Tollin back in October).

Scott is one of the official spokespeople for Monster.com's NFL Fandemonium initiative.

For the second year, "Monster and the NFL have teamed to find the DOF, this year expanding the promotion to allow fans to participate in deciding who becomes the next Director of Fandemonium. The DOF promotion inspires the most zealous football fans to compete for the dream “job” of serving as a fan ambassador for Monster and the NFL with special access at a series of marquee events throughout the 2010 NFL season."

The events in which the new DOF will have the opportunity to play a key role include:

• NFL Draft: Announce a pick at the 2010 NFL Draft (April 2010)
• NFL Kickoff: Act as backstage talent wrangler at the 2010 NFL Kickoff concert (September 2010)
• NFL International Series: Participate in on-field introductions at the 2010 International Series Game (October 2010)
• NFL Thanksgiving: Serve as an on-field broadcast liaison for the NFL Network 2010 Thanksgiving Game (November 2010)
• NFL Super Bowl: Join the coin toss ceremony at Super Bowl XLV (February 2011)
• NFL Pro Bowl: Select a play from the sidelines during the 2010 Pro Bowl (January/February 2011)
• Publish blog posts on NFL.com and meet with top NFL executives

You can vote for the DOF by clicking here.

We talk with Scott about his involvement with the program, his career and his own athletic upbringing.

Next we are joined by former Clinton White House, Congress staffer David Goodfriend who heads up the bi-partisan sports fan advocacy group, Sports Fan Coalition (SFC). The SFC is the American sports fan’s advocate in the Washington, D.C. public policy arena and around the country for a fair return to the fans for public resources used in sports; and fair access to sporting events at the game and in the media.

With David we talk about how and why it started, what its focus is, and who is it comprised of. We also discuss specific issues the coalition is addressing including the Comcast/NBC merger and blackouts, specifically in regard to how these things directly affect fan and whether the Coalition (as an extension of fans themselves) have real power in affecting the outcome of business decisions and public policy.

Goodfriend is also co-host of "Left Jab" on XM Satellite Radio and was a co-founder and EVP/General Counsel of Air America Radio.

This week's links of interest:

• NFL Department of Fandemonium
  
• @monsterdof
  
• Scott Caan IMDB
  
• Dallas 362
• Jim: The Author's Self-centered Memoir on the Great Jim Brown (James Toback)
• Sports Fan Coalition
  
• @givefansavoice
  
• Sports Fan Coalition Is An Actual Thing Now (Deadspin)
  
• Left Jab Radio
  

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Knicks Hear Boos. And For Once It’s Not from the Home Crowd.

Last night, the New York Knicks were thumped by the Oklahoma City Thunder, 106-88. What was to blame for the Knicks’ poor performance? That they shot just 38% from the floor? That they couldn’t stop Kevin Durant from going for his customary 30? No, the Knicks say they lost because their hotel was haunted.

"The place is haunted. It's scary," said Jared Jeffries of the Skirvin Hilton, a recently renovated historic hotel in downtown Oklahoma City. Eddy Curry said he couldn’t sleep out of fear of the ghosts roaming the hallway.

Although the ghost of Isiah Thomas is omnipresent in the Knicks’ salary cap and draft strategies, this is the first time supernatural powers have been blamed for the Knicks’ on-court suckage.

The Knicks can probably get Winston for league minimum, but they’ll have to clear some cap room to sign Venkman.

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HHR Exclusive: Video of Mike Leach Reprimanding Red Raiders at Players-Only Team-Building Event

Details are beginning to trickle our Texas Tech coach Mike Leach ordering Craig James' son Adam "to stand in a dark shed at the Tech football practice facility because he thought James was faking a concussion he'd suffered during practice the previous day."

"Leach had him watched, and when James sat down, Leach had things removed from the shed so he could not sit. Two days later, Leach forced James to stand in a dark room for three hours."

Sources in Lubbuck tell HHR that this is not new behavior for Leach and sent along the following video of a thinner, balder Leach treating underlings in similar manner during a what was supposed to be a friendly holiday get together.

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Dan LeBatard Would Prefer You Pick on Someone Else

There was plenty to laugh at during the ESPN premiere of Billy Corben's "The U."

Among them was Fat Mike Francessa bemoaning the 'Canes attitude while squinting through glasses the size of windshields. There was Jerrome Brown's bedazzled hat. There was a pre-Rock, D Lineman Dwayne Johnson hamming it up with the boys on the sideline. But hey, it was the 80's. Looking foolish came with the decade.

What then, is 2009 Dan LeBatard's excuse? The chubbly scribe channeled his inner Jon Gosselin and sported a tattoo/graffiti/logo tee-shirt and hat as his on-camera wardrobe for the documentary.

Not Artie Lange.
(Via @adamhanover)

Apparently, we weren't the only one's who noticed the ill-fated attempt to look hip.

'Tard felt the need to tweet this sharp-tongued retort to fashion critics:


Adding, "lots to mock today....my awful debut as a thespian in a play....my outfit on tv in the u documentary...."

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Separated at Birth: Revenge of the Nerd

Long before Fox college hoops analyst Mike Gminski morphed into Ricky Bobby, he was a dead ringer for a young Ted McGinley.

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Obviously, She Was a Huge Mr. Belvedere Fan

Broadcaster Uecker says he was stalked in Pittsburgh

"Mr. Uecker said Ms. Ladd approached him after games he worked, hiding and then jumping out unexpectedly to talk to him. She once followed him to a road series between the Brewers and Pittsburgh Pirates, staying on the same floor of his hotel and finding him at the pool."

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Separated at Birth: Ryan Franklin, Murderball

From CR Dunbar to HHR's resident Cards fan, Rev. Shaw Moore:

"Did I see that the guy from Murder Ball is a relief pitcher for the Cards? Franklin?"

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Separated at Birth: Pedroia, Statham & Cracking the Google Code

OK.

This is going to sound crazy, and generally whenever anyone starts off a story with "this is going to sound crazy" it's both crazy and the result of some booze induced bad dream. But for the record, this is going to sound crazy--and it is.

So last night an observant friend of mine noticed a striking resemblance between that bald gnome who plays on the Red Sox and that dude from the Transporter movies. I agreed and went looking for pictures of the two. (I do this out of jealously and admiration. If I could be either of these two for 24 hours I could singlehandedly double the population of Boston, or South Africa, or wherevever the hell the Transporter comes from).

This finding in and of itself would be interesting and kinda amusing if the story stopped there...but it doesn't.

As I was searching Google Images' database with the term "pedroia statham", I clicked over to page 4 of the search, and then forgot what I was doing.


That's right Tom Glavine, I'm looking at you.

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Film's Best Obscure Townie Jocks

While the Johnny Lawrences of filmdom are immortalized in Sports Guy columns and No More Kings videos, American cinematography is filled with villainously-portrayed athletes who play the foil to the movies' socially awkward outcast stars.

These same characters remind us of the individuals we reconnect with over Thanksgiving break at our hometown bars or at municipal park slo-pitch games channeling their inner Uncle Rico and reliving their glory years just-a-bit-too-fondly.

Today we honor you, townie jocks.

Rick Derris - Clerks



Wiki: Rick Derris first appeared in Clerks. He was played by Ernest O'Donnell, a childhood friend of Kevin Smith.

Rick Derris is a sexual deviant in the Askewniverse. In Clerks, he reveals to Dante Hicks that he had sex with his ex-girlfriend Caitlin Bree during their five year relationship.

In Mallrats, Gwen Turner, T.S. Quint and Brodie Bruce recall an incident at a costume party in which Derris and Turner had sex on a pool table. While Turner thinks it was a trivial event, Bruce and Quint remember the event very well because Derris and Turner were having sex on a pool table while dressed as Jackie Gleason and Burt Reynolds, respectively, from Smokey and the Bandit. In the most memorable and important sexual act, he and his friend Cohee London were in a three-way with Heather Jones's older sister Alyssa Jones during high school, which gave her the nickname "Finger Cuffs". When Alyssa is confronted by Holden McNeil about this occurrence during Chasing Amy, Ernest O'Donnell makes a cameo sitting next to them and listening in.

San Dimas High School Football Rules Guy - Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure



The lone bright spot in an abysmal film franchise that unfortunately catapulted the career of Keanu Reeves.

Trip McNeely & Mike Dexter - Can't Hardly Wait


Mike Dexter: Trip McNeely!
Trip McNeely: Trip McNeely.
Mike Dexter: No way, man!
Trip McNeely: Trip McNeely.
Mike Dexter: Trip McNeely! Geez. You were a sexual icon! You know girls at Huntington still talk about you?
Trip McNeely: Really? Which ones?
Mike Dexter: You must be racking up at college. College!
Trip McNeely: I wish, bro. I can't even get digits as a freshman.
Mike Dexter: Shut up! Come on, you can tell me.
Trip McNeely: Seriously, man. I thought college was gonna be a 24-7 orgy. Hell, that's even why I broke up with Janeen before I left.
Mike Dexter: So, what happened?
Trip McNeely: College chicks are totally different, bro. They're all serious and shit. They all talk about world issues and ecolomological crap. They all wanna date older guys.
Mike Dexter: Yeah, but... not all of 'em, right?
Trip McNeely: Way it goes. Hell, I even tried crawling back to Janeen. She was all cozy with some senior. He's a pre-med. They ALL are. Guys like us... we are a dime a dozen.
Trip McNeely: Speaking of which, you still with that Amanda chick? She was a prize piece if I ever saw one.
Mike Dexter: Yeah, me and Amanda. Definitely. Yep.
Trip McNeely: You're lucky, bro.
Mike Dexter: I sure am.
Trip McNeely: Stay with her. It's the best advice I can give you. Oh, that, and bring rubber flip-flops in the shower. I got warts all over my feet.
Mike Dexter: Take it easy, Trip! Trip McNeely! All right...

Roy Stalin - Better Off Dead



Filmdom's only known townie ski jock, Stalin was best known for inspiring the classic Season 6 South Park episode, More Like Stan Darsh.



Randall "Pink" Floyd - Dazed & Confused


While the most "sensitive" high school athlete on this list, to quote Sonny LoSpecchio, "The saddest thing in life is wasted talent." While he could have been a local hero, no one will ever remember his legacy of drinking beer and smoking pot. Likely ended up a poor man's David "Alright, Alright, Alright" Wooderson.

Chet Donnelly - Weird Science



An avid hunter and outdoorsman, an even more avid-er dickhead.

Ricky Slade - Made


Classic underachieving high school football player (with no heart), Ricky's chief ambition in life (like most local washed-up meatheads) is to break kneecaps for a local mob boss, while coat-tailing on his more (albeit not by much) respectable best childhood friend.

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