After each major sporting event, HHR takes a look at how it is portrayed in news print in some of the nation's leading dailies. Part out of curiosity, and part to preserve the dying medium.
Can Kobe not get any respect? Much ado was made about the chip on his shoulder in the Finals due to memories of raucous Celtics fans in 2008 attacking the LA bus after the C's knocked off the Lakers, that year. There was also the apparent bitterness he felt over LeBron being awarded the MVP this year only to see an early exit in the post season. Now, there's no telling what sort of vendetta Kobe will look to avenge when he realizes most major media outlets are overshadowing his latest championship with the frenzy over the release of Toy Story 3.
Kobe Bryant caused quite a buzz with the YouTube video of him hopping a speeding Aston Martin. While the authenticity of that video couldn’t be confirmed, we can guarantee with absolute certainty that the below film 100% real.
Did my eyes just fail me? Did I just see an accused rapist, drunk driver, accused adulterer, but definite stripper aficionado , and Tony Hawk dancing around in their underwear selling a product to children?
Proceeding from my awestruck, this commercial may have a reverse affect by providing thousands of kids an "oh shit" moment when they see Phelps riffing. "Is that what I look like?" "I rock the axe cooler than him, right?" "Maybe I should dust off Madden."
Let me explore the space a little more on Michael Phelps. I thought he was going to pull a hundred million in endorsements after his record breaking Olympic Games. All I have seen is a low budget AT&T commercial. Don't gold medals have a life expectancy of 3 months? I already see a gymnastics rock jam coming to a city near me. I know he is not struggling already pulling in over $5 mil a year and living with his mom, but he might want to stop scratching the dog and kick it up a notch.
Back to the commercial. Why is Kobe lip syncing? Does the game have an attachment that measures lip and tongue movement? Because the knockoff that Guitar Hero is knocking off requires actual singing. Come on Kobe, aren't you America's sweethheart again? Isn't that why you received a call to do this after being sent to the corner for 4 yrs, ehm Sprite, ehm McDonalds. I thought you were this great competitor? Let's hear those pipes.
Unfortunately, this commercial was set to fail the moment A-Rod pranced onto the screen. Everyone knows if an athlete is going to be the spokesman for Guitar Hero, the first call is to this guy:
Boston, MA- In an effort to fetch as much money as Doc River's Gatorade soaked shirt, a maid at the Hampton Inn in downtown Boston saved Kobe Bryant's turd stained sheets from his hotel room during his stay in Boston.
Claudia Lopez, of Natick, Mass., cleaned Kobe's room while the Lakers where in town for the final against the Celtics.
"I wasn't sure if it was Kolby's room" Ms. Lopez told the AP, "but then every morning after a Lakers loss the men in the custodial staff would comment how Kolby was 'really shitting the bed' during the finals. So I put one and one together and realized the stained sheets must be his."
The sheets and room were then authenticated by an attractive front desk clerk who confirmed Kobe's room because of the room key he handed her and whispered he was going to get her 'rocky mountain laid.'
The sheets will be auctioned off next week at Christie's with all proceeds going directly to Ms. Lopez's bank account.
