Monday, October 27, 2008

Commercial CRitic: Guitar Parent Advisory

Did my eyes just fail me? Did I just see an accused rapist, drunk driver, accused adulterer, but definite stripper aficionado , and Tony Hawk dancing around in their underwear selling a product to children?



Proceeding from my awestruck, this commercial may have a reverse affect by providing thousands of kids an "oh shit" moment when they see Phelps riffing. "Is that what I look like?" "I rock the axe cooler than him, right?" "Maybe I should dust off Madden."

Let me explore the space a little more on Michael Phelps. I thought he was going to pull a hundred million in endorsements after his record breaking Olympic Games. All I have seen is a low budget AT&T commercial. Don't gold medals have a life expectancy of 3 months? I already see a gymnastics rock jam coming to a city near me. I know he is not struggling already pulling in over $5 mil a year and living with his mom, but he might want to stop scratching the dog and kick it up a notch.

Back to the commercial. Why is Kobe lip syncing? Does the game have an attachment that measures lip and tongue movement? Because the knockoff that Guitar Hero is knocking off requires actual singing. Come on Kobe, aren't you America's sweethheart again? Isn't that why you received a call to do this after being sent to the corner for 4 yrs, ehm Sprite, ehm McDonalds. I thought you were this great competitor? Let's hear those pipes.

Unfortunately, this commercial was set to fail the moment A-Rod pranced onto the screen. Everyone knows if an athlete is going to be the spokesman for Guitar Hero, the first call is to this guy:

2 comments:

The Prophet said...

Having grown up as a skateboarding enthusiast back in the day, I'm uncomfortable with the fact that Tony Hawk is the most respectable and well adjusted member of this bunch...

The Prophet said...

Let me explore the space a little more on Michael Phelps. I thought he was going to pull a hundred million in endorsements after his record breaking Olympic Games. All I have seen is a low budget AT&T commercial. Don't gold medals have a life expectancy of 3 months? I already see a gymnastics rock jam coming to a city near me. I know he is not struggling already pulling in over $5 mil a year and living with his mom, but he might want to stop scratching the dog and kick it up a notch.

That's what all of the jock sniffers in the mainstream media kept telling us. The fact is that with the exception of teenaged girls and aging closeted "confirmed bachelors" everyone else got their fill of Phelps during the game. He seems like a nice kid and he's definitely a good swimmer. Unless he wants to become a spokesperson for "The Advocate" or Ko-Tex Light Days Oval Pads his trajectory of marketability is already on a downward arc...