...For Superfan #99 Over Here

Our buddy Bernie, formerly of FoxSports.com's Cubed, acted out one of the greatest scenes in 90's cinematic history with the dialogue's focal point.

I can't help but say that I am so super jealous that I'd like to make his head bleed.

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Canadian Hockey Fans: USA is Not OK

Part-time HHR contributor and full-time student in British Columbia, Assassin Avenue, was tasked with taking fan photos out and about Vancouver during the 2010 Winter Games. Unfortunately, claims of being "drunk" and "busy" hampered his efforts.

He did pass this one along, which could possibly insight an international skirmish.

...#1 in Your Hearts.

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Blogs With Balls Radio, Episode 23

This week’s Blogs With Balls Show on the JoeSportsFan Radio Network is now available.

Download Episode 23 here, or subscribe via iTunes.



Our guest this week is Phil from the multifaceted men's website Gunaxin.com.

Phil has been a longtime friend of HHR and, more so, the Blogs With Balls conferences, having attended and been vocal at both the New York and Vegas shows.

In Vegas, we had a great panel conversation on whether or not bloggers should be granted the same access and treatment that teams and leagues afford traditional media and journalists. On that panel, Yahoo!'s Puck Daddy Greg Wyshynski - among the most high profile and respected hockey bloggers on the web - brought up the fact that the NHL has embraced new media to circumvent the lack of coverage MSM has allotted the sport. Specifically, the Washington Capitals, thanks in large part to their new-media savvy owner, is regarded as one of the most progressive franchises in terms of blogger credentialing. Phil, who blogs at the Fansided Caps blog Capitals Outsider, is among those select few sports bloggers in any sport that covers games from the press box.

Recently, his actions in the press area drew the attention and criticism from the Internets, the team and even Wyshinski...actions that eventually lead to his suspension from the press box.

With almost 3 weeks to digest the incident, Phil reflects on his actions, the reactions, and the hypocritical treatment in relation to his Verizon Center nemesis Mike Milbury.



Moving on to Gunaxin, Phil talks about how his unique background has aided in positioning the site among the fastest growing men's general interest sites, how and why the Gunaxin decided to dabble in podcasting, and its recent launch of Gunaxin Links - a direct and men's focused alternative to Reddit.

A recurring theme is Phil's appreciation for the online community. He credits folks he met at BwB (Dan Levy, Matt Sebek and Gary Vaynerchuk) as being influential in Gunaxin moving into many of the areas it has, and credits the conference itself as helping facilitate some of the A-list guests they've gotten to interview.

This week's links of interest:

• Gunaxin.com
• @Gunaxin
• Gunaxin on Facebook
  
• Gunaxin Links
• Gunaxin Podcasts
  
• Capitals Outsider
• @CapsOutsider
• Mike Milbury Assaults Blogger (Gunaxin)
• Analyzing the Mike Milbury vs. hockey blogger 'assault' (Puck Daddy)
• Battle With Milbury (KuklasKorner)
  
• DC Sports Bog
  
• On The DL Podcast
• Joe Sports Fan
• Crush It!: Why NOW Is the Time to Cash In on Your Passion
• Purple Cow
• Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us

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CR Dunbar's Olympic Sized Bits and Pieces

As shut-ins get tingly about the Winter Olympics Ceremony this evening, I thought it was a good time to dust off my own bits and pieces for the occasion. On with the show:

• Is any reference to Brian Boitano still funny?
• Plenty of pressure on Canadian Hockey to win gold. Only 13-year old Romanian gymnasts know this kind of pressure. However, whereas the gymnasts are left in a hot box if they fail, the Canadian hockey players will probably get big hugs.
• I was looking for the winter equivalent of Summer Olympic's Handball that would sweep me off my feet and tell me I'm pretty, but it turns out there are only two team sports in the Winter Olympics: Hockey and Curling. Sorry scrubbers.
• Look for Belarus Men's Freestyle Skiing Aerialist Anton Kushner to start a twitter signup war with CNBC.
• First Winter Olympics since Blades of Glory. Iron Lotus references highly encouraged Scott Hamilton and Brian Boitano.

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Video: Obama Thanks Russians for Giving DC Ovechkin

From Politico:

President Obama addressing the commencement ceremonies at Moscow's New Economic School: "As a resident of Washington, D.C., I continue to benefit from the contributions of Russians — specifically, from Alexander Ovechkin. We're very pleased to have him in Washington, D.C."

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Mike Keenan Wants to Measure Willie Mitchell's Stick

And the (ahem) Flames' coach is bringing his measuring tape!

When hockey meets gay porn and doesn't involve Sean Avery...

(This is an actual quote)

"Just in case he doesn’t know over there," Mitchell said after confirming his stick length. "I’ve got a tape measure. It’s not my stick that does the work, anyway. It’s my brain. I think it’s a good compliment [from Keenan]. Obviously, he’s worried about me playing against Jarome."

Asked how he knows Mitchell’s stick is too long, Keenan said: "I’ll never tell."

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Hockey Mom Not Craziest Broad in Momma's Boy House Last Night

College hockey player Jojo Bojanowski's mom was finally out-crazied in the Momma's Boy house last night. The honor goes to Cara from Corpus Christi who DIDN'T EVEN GET A DATE!!!!!!

JoJo Disappoints Momma

College hockey star and Momma Boy JoJo Bojanowski got to show off some of his skills last night on the ice in a group date organized by his Momma, Mrs. B.



Too bad the ingrate spent the rest of the night breaking his momma's heart.

As you recall, Mrs. B laid down the ground rules in what she is looking for in a gal: not black, not Muslim, not Asian, not a Jew, a Catholic without a big butt.

So to kick things off, JoJo "saves" a sista in the elimination. Then, following the group date, opts to go on a one-on-one with a girl Mrs. B deems has a fat ass (and who, if I recall from week 1, is half-Jewish).

The overbearing momma will have none-of-that, and proceeds to cock-block like nobody's business.



In another train-wreckingly amusing moment, JoJo and house mensch Rob Kluge boot on camera after taking the house's "UFC Challenge," which is surprising to Mrs. Kluge who describes her son as an "athlete" even though "he isn't built the same way as Jojo and Michael." Hilarity ensues.



One side note. Michael and Rob's moms are enthralled with Erica, who Michael's mom describes as "Very wholesome. Very reserved."

She just happens to be the 2008 Penthouse Pet of the Year.

Blake's "Spin-a-Rama" Beats Devils

The Leafs' Jason Blake shootout goal against the Devils at the Air Canada Centre was a perfectly legal "spin-a-rama" as defined by Rule 25 in the NHL rules for Shootout procedures.



The rule states: "The spin-o-rama type move where the player completes a 360° turn as he approaches the goal, shall be permitted as this involves continuous motion."

Search though we did, we couldn't find any mention in the rules about the seldom used "Dipsy Daisy," "Okie Muskogee" or "Hot Carl."

While NJ Coach Brent Sutter conceded it was a close call, Bobby Holik calls bullshit.

Holik told NJ.com's/The Star-Ledger Rich Chere, "I know it's legal, but it's so un-hockey. I think it's B.S. There was so much back-tracking you could do pretty much anything. I know the league loves it because it's exciting, but the puck should always be moving forward.

"What, next time they'll let him circle the net?"

"It's easier to do on a team that has nothing to lose than on a contender. I know (GM) Brian Burke won't like that statement, but..."

We'd have been much more impressed by Blake had he performed a Booker T Spin-a-Roonie during the shot.

Yes Yes Yes. No No No.

Meet JoJo Bojanowski

JoJo, a forward on the Adrian College Bulldogs hockey team (or is it Nichols College?), has great eyes, a great body, great teeth, great muscles, a great family and is an absolute great catch. This according to his bat-shit crazy, anti-Semitic, racist mother (Mrs. B) on NBC's latest train wreck, Momma's Boy.

Mrs. B, while you can appreciate her honesty in outlining exactly the kind of gal she'd like for her son - a petite, white Catholic with non-divorced parents - you have to question her sanity in professing such in a diverse house with estrogen-filled, booze-fueled and attention-starved hussies.

Check out some of her footage here. And remember, she loves the blaques. She knows "half of the Detroit Lions."

Go Bulldogs.

Devils Security Takes on Rangers Fan In Jersey

NJ.com passes along three different angles of a skirmish in the upper level of the Prudential Center during last night's Rangers/Devils game between a Blue Shirts fan and security.

To his credit, he put up quite a fight.







More on the squabble here at Puck Daddy.

Athletes in need of 'Mail Goggles'

We are all guilty. The late night nookie text to the crazy chick. The early morning phone call to a coworkers voicemail. The drunk email to remind the ex that 'NOBODY gets rid of an All-American.' (What? That just happened to me?)

Thankfully Google has at least found a way to prevent the regretful emails that drunk morons would send and regret probably for the rest of their lives. They have devolped Google "Mail Goggles" in an attempt to cut down on late night emails.

The fellas at Tasty Booze explain...

Basically once you hit the send button on that email you composed at 2:45 a.m. Saturday morning Mail Goggles will present you with five math problems that have to be solved in a limited amount of time. If your piss soaked brain can complete the computations in the given time limit you are fucked and your message will be sent. If however you can’t get the Windows calculator open in time to solve all the problems your message will not be sent. By default Mail Goggles only becomes active on Friday and Saturday nights between 10:00 p.m. and 4:00 a.m. but those times and days are completely configurable in the Settings menu.

Thank you Google, for making life a little easier for us idiots.

This innovation got us to thinking about how this could effect the world of sports. Here are some people who need Google Goggles permanetly set on their accounts to prevent any more embarassing email exchanges like these.

To: myabs@clevelandbrowns.com

Fr: bquinn@nd.edu

Re: Your Awesomeness

Yo,

You looked so hot today under those pads. I caught you checking me out on the way to the shower. Yeah I am not sure why I shower either, I never play. My eyes weren't wandering in the shower, I only have eyes for you. Jamal Lewis' penis ain't bad though.

Crunch ya' later,

B-

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: BradyT@patriots.com; thegunslinger@nyjets.com

Fr: marybethking@colgateuniversity.edu

Re: Hey guys

Hey,

It's me Peter. Look I know you both blocked my email address but just hear me out. I am sorry. So I got carried away. Can't we talk it out? Meet over coffee? The next time the Pats play the Jets we should meet up. Let me know. Email me back or call the personal number I gave you both.

Friends Forever,

Pete

------------------------------------------------

To: sweetlou@chicagocubs.com;rharden@chicagocubs.com, asoriano@chicagocubs.com,

Fr: thegoodpeopleofchicago@verizon.com

Thanks assholes.

------------------------------------------------------------

To: america@aol.com

Fr: gbettman@nhl.com

Eh America,

Ugh, we are starting again. Just letting you know. Throwing it out there. We are on TV. Somewhere. Just telling you.

God Speed,

Gary

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: thedefenseteam@jacobyandmeyers.com

Fr: thejuice@avis.com

Re: Stupid ass suckas

Dear Dummies,

Good job. How I going to get away with murder but I can't rob no one without going to jail? Ya'll suck. I wish Johnny and Robert weren't dead. I'd be golfing right now. I ever get outta here I am gonna kill you.

Pissed off,

OJ

Sean Avery Still Trying to Put Rumors to Rest

On Monday, Puck Daddy linked the interview with Steve Avery on "The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos", where among other topics, the Dallas Star addressed his seemingly questionable sexuality.

If anyone caught his conversation with Rachel Nichols on Sports Center this morning, they'd again see him pleading his case, noting:

YES. He used to steal his babysitter's dolls and play dress up with them.

NO. He is not gay.

Got that?

If you didn't, he again cites his beards as evidence. Because gay guys never hang with hot broads. End of story.

Now, if you don't mind, please let him get back to doing what he does best - looking like K-Feds and showing off his creamy calves.

Sean Avery's Creamy Calves

A few weeks back, Fat Willard posted an article noting: "When the hockey star Sean Avery took an internship at Vogue earlier this summer, the work uniform that the fashion-besotted left wing chose included a shorts suit that showcased his athletic calves."

Many HHR readers were disappointed that the accompanying picture to the post was not, in fact, of Avery in shorts. Well, patience is a virtue, my friends. When readers demand, HHR delivers.

Courtesy of Men's Vogue (via Fat Willard camping out under his desk all summer), here is Avery dressed as if he were an extra in Mary Poppins...

Sean Avery has creamy calves

So I am bored turdless at work and I am checking out Illuminati's blog over at phillyBurbs. He did an article today about men wearing shorts to the office. The article and picture is all kinds of wrong but something interesting popped out of the original NY Times piece.

When the hockey star Sean Avery took an internship at Vogue earlier this summer, the work uniform that the fashion-besotted left wing chose included a shorts suit that showcased his athletic calves.

So, Avery not only plays professional hockey but bags models and actresses, works with tons of hot women in the offseason, is a guest editor at Men's Vogue, gets his own hockey rule named after him AND can get away with wearing boy shorts.

I think I feel the incipience of a slight man crush.

Wait, I just pictured you in those shorts.

Let's make it official.

Minnesotans Have a One Track Mind

Norm Coleman is the Republican incumbent running in the highly-targeted Minnesota Senate race that pits him against unfunny comedian Al Franken and that rumors circulated would include Jesse Ventura.

Apparently, he knows his constituency.

Fear Canada

Sen. McCain makes a sports-related funny about our neighbors up North.

I Got the Giggles - HHR Top Ten...

While I brushed my teeth this morning, I overheard Sage Steel giving an ESPN update during Mike and Mike, and all I caught of her NBA finals recap was that the Lakes exhibited "effective ball movement." I laughed uncontrollably for about 5 minutes (and of course dribbled toothpaste down my shirt - bastards).

This got me thinking... there has been many a time when Ren and myself are watching various sporting events and the commentators say something that gives us the giggles (and reminds us of seventh grade when you learned about the human reproductive system in science class). Hence, inspiration for the latest HHR top ten list, and perhaps the one with the longest title EVER.

I'd like to present:

HHR's Top Ten Sports Phrases that Cause Uncontrollable Giggles (mostly because they are sexual inuendos)

10. "flashing some leather" (baseball)

9. "finding the hot receiver" (football)

8. "he touches them all!" (baseball)

7. "lined up in the slot" (football)

6. "hitting the hole hard" (football)

5. "handy stickwork" (hockey)

4. "effective ball movement" (basketball)

3. "getting good wood on it" (baseball)

2. anything involving "Pujols" (baseball)

1. "penetrating the zone" (basketball)

Cheers to filthy minds and adolescent memories.... Hope this brightens your day :)

Preserving History: Lord Stanley's Cup

After each major sporting event, HHR takes a look at how it is portrayed in news print in some of the nation's leading dailies. Part out of curiosity, and part to preserve the dying medium.

If there is any question surrounding the public interest in ice hockey and the NHL, perhaps we can use the coverage of the Red Wings' Stanley Cup Championship as a gage.Very few leading papers offered any front page coverage, nonetheless mention outside of Pittsburgh and Detroit. Most, like the Indy Star chose to focus, rather, on the upcoming NBA Finals. Others, like the Philadelphia Inquirer felt it more news worthy to point out that Kevin Kolb is now #2 on the Eagles depth chart. The LA Times and the New York Times chose to bury it in small blurbs beneath the fold. The Boston Herald, salivating over the Lakers/Celts series, had a small headline on the back page.

While obviously the Super Bowl's popularity would warrant much broader interest (Super Bowl XLII), compare the Stanley Cup coverage to that of the Daytona 500 (see The Great American Race).

New York Times

LA Times

Boston Herald

The Detroit News

Detroit Free Press
Pittsburgh Post Gazette

Philadelphia Daily News (Back)

"We know how Philadelphians are"

Photo: Michael Klein / Inquirer

By that statement did the manager of the city's Capital Grille, whose above 4x6 Flyers banner was swiped off the restaurant's facade mean:

A. Die Hard Fans
B. Petty Thieves
C. Drunken Jagoffs
D. Mulleted Neanderthals
E. All of the Above

By her tone, I believe she implied "E."

"We know how Philadelphians are," Griffin said, explaining that it was secured with heavy cording. Given the effort required to remove the banner and the use of a luxury car in the getaway, she believed that the thief "was not just some Joe off the streets."

"Secured with heavy cording." To protect it from people like you - Die-Hard-Well-To-Do-Petty-Criminal-Flyers-Fans.

We know how you are. We know.