Cheeky Mark Cuban and Trophy Companion Take in Vancouver Riots

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Blackhawks Get (Cuervo) Platinum Treatment

Our friends at Diageo sent us heads up that the entire Chicago Blackhawks team was gifted with custom-made bottles of Jose Cuervo Tequila to celebrate their recent Stanley Cup victory.

The sweet, smooth taste of victory

Still reeling from their recent victory, Brian “Soupy” Campbell and his teammates toasted to their Stanley Cup victory with the world’s best-tasting silver tequila. In honor of their legendary win, Campbell gifted each one of his teammates with a custom-made bottle of Jose Cuervo Platino.

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Ovie Named 48th Most Powerful Person in DC in GQ's Top 50

From the magazine's Politics section:

48. Alexander Ovechkin
Hockey Player, Washingon Capitals

As a cliché-prone poet once wrote, Washington loves a winner, and no local sports team these days wins nearly as often as the Caps. And no one in the entire NHL scores goals with the brutal frequency of Alexander Ovechkin. Which means he's something of a hero around town: In 2008, Mayor Fenty awarded him a key to the city. (Other honorees during the mayor's term: Nicolas Sarkozy, the pope.) More politicos are starting to cotton to him, too. David Gregory is a regular at the Verizon Center, while John Kerry and Joe Lieberman show up when they can. Earlier this year, Ovechkin even got a shout-out from Obama during the president's trip to Russia: "As a resident of Washington, D.C.," he said, "I continue to benefit from the contributions of Russians—specifically, from Alexander Ovechkin."

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Pennsylvania: State of Champions

"It's the first time the trophies have been on display together."

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

Three trophies marking three recent titles won by Pennsylvania teams were on display together, for the first time, today at the Capitol: the tall, silvery Stanley Cup, won by the Penguins last month; the silvery football of the Vince Lombardi trophy, won by the Steelers in February; and the gold-colored Major League Baseball World Series trophy, won by the Philadelphia Phillies in October

UPDATE 11:40 AM

One little problem pointed out by @davelozo: "Gov. Ed Rendell. Not a reliable source."

Does this not count as "together?"

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Video: Obama Thanks Russians for Giving DC Ovechkin

From Politico:

President Obama addressing the commencement ceremonies at Moscow's New Economic School: "As a resident of Washington, D.C., I continue to benefit from the contributions of Russians — specifically, from Alexander Ovechkin. We're very pleased to have him in Washington, D.C."

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Pierre McGuire on Tim Thomas Naked

Whether watching in Canada on TSN, or the replay on Vs, you might have heard this head-scratching commentary by Game 7's announcers after a pair of Thomas saves between the 3:30 and 3 mark in the third period.

OK, who are we kidding? You weren't watching hockey. So here you go...

"You see him without his clothes on, you say to yourself, there's no way this guy's a professional athlete. But, man oh man, he gets after it."

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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

Mike Keenan Wants to Measure Willie Mitchell's Stick

And the (ahem) Flames' coach is bringing his measuring tape!

When hockey meets gay porn and doesn't involve Sean Avery...

(This is an actual quote)

"Just in case he doesn’t know over there," Mitchell said after confirming his stick length. "I’ve got a tape measure. It’s not my stick that does the work, anyway. It’s my brain. I think it’s a good compliment [from Keenan]. Obviously, he’s worried about me playing against Jarome."

Asked how he knows Mitchell’s stick is too long, Keenan said: "I’ll never tell."

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Blake's "Spin-a-Rama" Beats Devils

The Leafs' Jason Blake shootout goal against the Devils at the Air Canada Centre was a perfectly legal "spin-a-rama" as defined by Rule 25 in the NHL rules for Shootout procedures.



The rule states: "The spin-o-rama type move where the player completes a 360° turn as he approaches the goal, shall be permitted as this involves continuous motion."

Search though we did, we couldn't find any mention in the rules about the seldom used "Dipsy Daisy," "Okie Muskogee" or "Hot Carl."

While NJ Coach Brent Sutter conceded it was a close call, Bobby Holik calls bullshit.

Holik told NJ.com's/The Star-Ledger Rich Chere, "I know it's legal, but it's so un-hockey. I think it's B.S. There was so much back-tracking you could do pretty much anything. I know the league loves it because it's exciting, but the puck should always be moving forward.

"What, next time they'll let him circle the net?"

"It's easier to do on a team that has nothing to lose than on a contender. I know (GM) Brian Burke won't like that statement, but..."

We'd have been much more impressed by Blake had he performed a Booker T Spin-a-Roonie during the shot.

Yes Yes Yes. No No No.

Devils Security Takes on Rangers Fan In Jersey

NJ.com passes along three different angles of a skirmish in the upper level of the Prudential Center during last night's Rangers/Devils game between a Blue Shirts fan and security.

To his credit, he put up quite a fight.







More on the squabble here at Puck Daddy.

Athletes in need of 'Mail Goggles'

We are all guilty. The late night nookie text to the crazy chick. The early morning phone call to a coworkers voicemail. The drunk email to remind the ex that 'NOBODY gets rid of an All-American.' (What? That just happened to me?)

Thankfully Google has at least found a way to prevent the regretful emails that drunk morons would send and regret probably for the rest of their lives. They have devolped Google "Mail Goggles" in an attempt to cut down on late night emails.

The fellas at Tasty Booze explain...

Basically once you hit the send button on that email you composed at 2:45 a.m. Saturday morning Mail Goggles will present you with five math problems that have to be solved in a limited amount of time. If your piss soaked brain can complete the computations in the given time limit you are fucked and your message will be sent. If however you can’t get the Windows calculator open in time to solve all the problems your message will not be sent. By default Mail Goggles only becomes active on Friday and Saturday nights between 10:00 p.m. and 4:00 a.m. but those times and days are completely configurable in the Settings menu.

Thank you Google, for making life a little easier for us idiots.

This innovation got us to thinking about how this could effect the world of sports. Here are some people who need Google Goggles permanetly set on their accounts to prevent any more embarassing email exchanges like these.

To: myabs@clevelandbrowns.com

Fr: bquinn@nd.edu

Re: Your Awesomeness

Yo,

You looked so hot today under those pads. I caught you checking me out on the way to the shower. Yeah I am not sure why I shower either, I never play. My eyes weren't wandering in the shower, I only have eyes for you. Jamal Lewis' penis ain't bad though.

Crunch ya' later,

B-

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: BradyT@patriots.com; thegunslinger@nyjets.com

Fr: marybethking@colgateuniversity.edu

Re: Hey guys

Hey,

It's me Peter. Look I know you both blocked my email address but just hear me out. I am sorry. So I got carried away. Can't we talk it out? Meet over coffee? The next time the Pats play the Jets we should meet up. Let me know. Email me back or call the personal number I gave you both.

Friends Forever,

Pete

------------------------------------------------

To: sweetlou@chicagocubs.com;rharden@chicagocubs.com, asoriano@chicagocubs.com,

Fr: thegoodpeopleofchicago@verizon.com

Thanks assholes.

------------------------------------------------------------

To: america@aol.com

Fr: gbettman@nhl.com

Eh America,

Ugh, we are starting again. Just letting you know. Throwing it out there. We are on TV. Somewhere. Just telling you.

God Speed,

Gary

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: thedefenseteam@jacobyandmeyers.com

Fr: thejuice@avis.com

Re: Stupid ass suckas

Dear Dummies,

Good job. How I going to get away with murder but I can't rob no one without going to jail? Ya'll suck. I wish Johnny and Robert weren't dead. I'd be golfing right now. I ever get outta here I am gonna kill you.

Pissed off,

OJ

Sean Avery's Creamy Calves

A few weeks back, Fat Willard posted an article noting: "When the hockey star Sean Avery took an internship at Vogue earlier this summer, the work uniform that the fashion-besotted left wing chose included a shorts suit that showcased his athletic calves."

Many HHR readers were disappointed that the accompanying picture to the post was not, in fact, of Avery in shorts. Well, patience is a virtue, my friends. When readers demand, HHR delivers.

Courtesy of Men's Vogue (via Fat Willard camping out under his desk all summer), here is Avery dressed as if he were an extra in Mary Poppins...

Sean Avery has creamy calves

So I am bored turdless at work and I am checking out Illuminati's blog over at phillyBurbs. He did an article today about men wearing shorts to the office. The article and picture is all kinds of wrong but something interesting popped out of the original NY Times piece.

When the hockey star Sean Avery took an internship at Vogue earlier this summer, the work uniform that the fashion-besotted left wing chose included a shorts suit that showcased his athletic calves.

So, Avery not only plays professional hockey but bags models and actresses, works with tons of hot women in the offseason, is a guest editor at Men's Vogue, gets his own hockey rule named after him AND can get away with wearing boy shorts.

I think I feel the incipience of a slight man crush.

Wait, I just pictured you in those shorts.

Let's make it official.

Fear Canada

Sen. McCain makes a sports-related funny about our neighbors up North.

Preserving History: Lord Stanley's Cup

After each major sporting event, HHR takes a look at how it is portrayed in news print in some of the nation's leading dailies. Part out of curiosity, and part to preserve the dying medium.

If there is any question surrounding the public interest in ice hockey and the NHL, perhaps we can use the coverage of the Red Wings' Stanley Cup Championship as a gage.Very few leading papers offered any front page coverage, nonetheless mention outside of Pittsburgh and Detroit. Most, like the Indy Star chose to focus, rather, on the upcoming NBA Finals. Others, like the Philadelphia Inquirer felt it more news worthy to point out that Kevin Kolb is now #2 on the Eagles depth chart. The LA Times and the New York Times chose to bury it in small blurbs beneath the fold. The Boston Herald, salivating over the Lakers/Celts series, had a small headline on the back page.

While obviously the Super Bowl's popularity would warrant much broader interest (Super Bowl XLII), compare the Stanley Cup coverage to that of the Daytona 500 (see The Great American Race).

New York Times

LA Times

Boston Herald

The Detroit News

Detroit Free Press
Pittsburgh Post Gazette

Philadelphia Daily News (Back)

Athletic Supporters

SI's Players section this week featured an election special titled "Athletic Supporters: Sports stars weigh in on presidential picks."

Not surprisingly, Obama scored high with the predominantly African American NBA, McCain with the predominantly white NHL and MLB, and Clinton with, well, people that liked her husband.

I am curious to know the identity of the unnamed hockey-playing Obama supporter that was quoted as admitting he watches Oprah, "I see him on Oprah and I think he's a sincere guy."

Of the 350 overall athletes surveyed, McCain edged Obama 132-116, with Clinton bringing up the rear with 22. Eight respondents supported another candidate (I assume Kucinich), and 69 (kinky) were undecided.

One of Hill's handful of supporters noted, "Bill Clinton was the best president we ever had, and I am sure he will be calling most of the shots if Hillary is elected."

That must be a boost of confidence for women everywhere. Then again, she's ridden his coattails for the entirety of her political life, so maybe this comment isn't all that surprising.

Second, the best president we ever had? Hey, he did a fine job managing the country as it reaped the benefits from the 80's administrations' investment in technological and economic growth (e-commerce boom/bust), with an opposition Congress pushing through tangible legislation, all while not doing anything demonstrably remarkable aside from that whole blow jay thing. It worked for him. Everyone was happy.

But again, best president we ever had? George Washington only helped secure our independence from a colonial empire, and sat as executive over a newly established form of government unprecedented anywhere in time and space. Abe Lincoln only steered us through civil war and a country on the brink of dissolving its union, not to mention that whole emancipation thing (addressing an issue many of his predecessors refused to even acknowledge in public). Hell, Kennedy kept us from nuclear war while hopped up on a cocktail of pain-killing and mood altering meds, and a 238-year-old Regan dissolved a threatening empire of his own while popping jelly beans.

The 90's were good. They didn't help make things any easier at the turn of the millennium, but things were just peachy compared to today. "Best ever," though is a stretch. Even for an uninformed multi-millionaire athlete.

Down Goes Roy

I was watching a fight and a hockey game broke out.

Tampa Bay's Andre Roy and the Flyers' Riley Cote went at it for two rounds, before Cote dropped Roy with a left in the 2nd period.

To add insult to injury, the Flyers' score board manager decided to replay repeatedly the knockout punch, which Roy didn't take too kindly to.

Round 1



Round 2



Video Aftermath

SI cover jinx?

I used to be a huge hockey fan before the lockout but then lost interest once it finally came back. Ren has never really been a fan but now has a huge flat screen and HDTV and admitted to watching just because it looked so cool. Once football is over I can see myself getting back into it because Ren has a huge flat screen with HDTV.

Till then, Going Five Hole tells me whats important. Sid the Kid out for a month is pretty important.

The Dreaded SI: For Kids Cover Jinx Strikes Sidney Crosby



I am no doctor but aren't you just supposed to ice the swollen area?

The Biggest Dicks in Sports

Some names just seem to fit some people. Some don’t quite work as well.

Eldrick Woods is the greatest golfer, and maybe athlete, of all time. Leonard Esiason is one of the best left-handed quarterbacks to ever play in the NFL. How would Giants fans feel going into this weekends game with the Cowboys putting all of their hopes into a guy named Elisha.

God bless the nickname.

Eldrick, Leonard and Elisha aren’t great but of all the names a parent can bestow upon their newborn son, Dick is hands down the worst. Sure, they are usually a Richard, and could sometimes become a Rich, but at least once in their life they will be referred to as a Dick.

It’s a tough name to overcome and find success. Many have tried and failed. But a few have gone on to greatness.

Here are the stories of the men who persevered. Even with a first name that could also mean ‘penis.’

Hugging Harold Reynolds presents…..The Biggest Dicks in Sports.

Biggest Dick Referee:

Dick Bavetta

Career Highlight: Refereeing an NBA game during the mid-1970s with Earl Strom as his partner,Bavetta overruled Strom on a crucial last-second personal foul call against the Nets, which would have been a victory for the 76ers. When the game ended and players were walking to their respective locker rooms, the door to the referees' locker room flew open and Bavetta came staggering out. His uniform was allegedly ripped and was wearing a big welt over his eye, running to get away from Strom. Strom stepped out into the hallway and hollered after Bavetta, You'll take another one of my f***** calls again, right, you motherf******?"

Career Lowlight:


Biggest Dick in Football:

Dick Butkis

Career Highlights: Probably the baddest mother-father to ever throw on a set of pads. Has an award named after him and he is still alive. Enough said.

Career Lowlights: Any one of these is enough to make you forget his football glory. Went on to star in Gus, Cracking Up, Necessary Roughness, and Any Given Sunday, and as a regular character on TV shows such as Blue Thunder, My Two Dads, and Hang Time. He made two appearances on the TV shows Coach and MacGyver. In an oft-rerun episode of Murder She Wrote, Butkus appeared in a locker-room scene wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Also refereed the battle royal at WrestleMania 2.

Biggest Dick in Baseball:

Dick Allen

Career Highlights: An almost Hall of Fame career and these two sensational quotes:
"If a horse won't eat it, I don't want to play on it." – his quote on artificial turf.
"I can play anywhere; First, Third, Left field, anywhere but Philadelphia." – on his career in the City of Brotherly Love

Career Lowlights: After retirement, Allen’s life when in the crapper. His uninsured house and horse stables burned down in October 1979. He left his wife for a younger woman; his wife took him to court and she got everything he had left, even the rights to his baseball pension. Ouch.

Biggest Dick in Coaching:

Dick Vermeil

Career Highlight: Leading the Eagles to the Super Bowl and giving Vince Papali a shot, giving every Average Joe and nobody a dream of walking on and making an NFL team. (P.S.- We can't, but feel free to try, and send us the video)

Career Lowlight: Any interview or post-game that...ended...(sniff)... up...(snifff) like this.


Biggest Dick announcer-

Dick Stockton

Career Highlights: Married to Lesley Visser – before Kolber, Tafoya, Andrews, the Wolf and Pam Oliver, there was Lesley Visser. The first lady of sports broadcasting.

Career Lowlight: Got bumped from the Moose and Goose booth (for Droopy Albert) to working with Brian Baldinger and his ‘coat hanger on a palm’. To top that off, he hasn’t asked Baldy what the hell is up with the finger, or tried to snap it back straight.

Runner-up- Chip Carey

Biggest Dick in Basketball

Dick Vitale-

Career Highlight: played a mover on an episode of the Cosby Show

Career Lowlight: every single game he has ever announced.

Biggest Dick Behind the Scenes

Dick Ebersol

Career Highlight: President of NBC Sports. In 2004, named chairman of NBC Universal Sports & Olympics. Instrumental in bringing Sunday Night Football to NBC and keeping I-AA University of Notre Dame football on NBC for the next decade.

Career Lowlight: beside producing SNL during the lean years of 1981-1985, Ebersol presided over a period during the late 1990s on through the early 2000s where NBC progressively lost the rights to major professional sports like the National Football League, Major League Baseball, and the National Basketball Association. Oh, and that Notre Dame thing we mentioned.

Career Low(LOOOW)light: His name is actually Duncan. His nickname is Dick.

Biggest Dick President

(I know what you thought was coming. It isn’t. This is a sports site.)

Dick Cass-

Career Highlights: Among his highlights is being named Ravens team president and firing Brian Billick. He could build a Raven dynasty that lasts for decades and it still won’t overshadow his lowlight.

Life Lowlight: His name is Dick Cass.

Dick Cass.

Say it out loud.
Fast.
Faster.

Case closed.

Parents are cruel.


Voting is now open. Who is the Biggest Dick in sports?

Puttin on the foil- A weekly NHL recap

The weekly NHL update from the fellas at Popjocks

Puttin on the foil

Misleading Headlines: Sexy Ron Hextall

AP: Flyer Told to Change Outfit Poses Nude