Showing posts with label DC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DC. Show all posts

Monday, April 5, 2010

From the DC Bureau: Wait Until You See the President's Throw

They may need to design a baseball to complement the President's limp-wristed throwing style.





You do have to appreciate his "nWo" moment when he donned the Black & White. I was waiting for Sting to drop from the rafters and hit Zimmerman with a bat so Barack could tag him.


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Friday, February 26, 2010

Video: Runyan Wants to Toughen Up DC

Jon Runyan made his speaking debut on the campaign circuit last night at a Camden County Republican fundraiser.

Said the former Eagle O Lineman: "I was never the best athlete. I was never the fastest guy. I wasn't the strongest. But you know what? I put my work in and I made a mental decision to be the toughest guy out there. And I think taking that tenacity to Washington, DC is going to go a long way."

On why he's running: "The size of the government is totally out of control. The people are the ones that are going to solve these problems. We have to get government out of the way, put money back in the people's hands and let them solve the problems that we have."

As far as his qualifications, Runyan notes that this public service is an extension of the community work he has done in South Jersey over the last decade; and his passion to change the course our country is headed.




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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Ovie Named 48th Most Powerful Person in DC in GQ's Top 50


From the magazine's Politics section:

48. Alexander Ovechkin
Hockey Player, Washingon Capitals

As a cliché-prone poet once wrote, Washington loves a winner, and no local sports team these days wins nearly as often as the Caps. And no one in the entire NHL scores goals with the brutal frequency of Alexander Ovechkin. Which means he's something of a hero around town: In 2008, Mayor Fenty awarded him a key to the city. (Other honorees during the mayor's term: Nicolas Sarkozy, the pope.) More politicos are starting to cotton to him, too. David Gregory is a regular at the Verizon Center, while John Kerry and Joe Lieberman show up when they can. Earlier this year, Ovechkin even got a shout-out from Obama during the president's trip to Russia: "As a resident of Washington, D.C.," he said, "I continue to benefit from the contributions of Russians—specifically, from Alexander Ovechkin."


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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

DC Bureau Paparazzi Exclusive: The Real World Plays Some Golf

In an HHR Exclusive, Special Agent Blue Pulaski has obtained photos of the newest cast of the Real World (currently filming in DC) playing golf at his home course this past Monday. Obtained from his secret tree-top location with a telescopic lens, Special Agent Pulaski has provided the world with some of the first glimpses of biggest thing to hit binge-drinking golf since John Daly won the PGA Title.

Update: Her name is Misty, of course.



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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

HHR EXCLUSIVE: From The D.C. Bureau: Bob Costas Didn’t Think Judge Sotomayor Was An All Star

Okay, we’ve heard enough sports metaphors and talk about how Judge Sonia Sotomayor “saved baseball” by Senators who probably throw a lot like Mariah Carey.

So, we feel it necessary to bring up some much needed sport’s precedent...in the form of an opinion by baseball’s Chief Justice, Bob Costas.

Apparently the Queens, NY native didn’t think much of his fellow New Yorker, Sonia Sotomayor, during her time on the bench. In the 2002 video below, Costas gives an impassioned dissent regarding Sotomayor’s ruling on the baseball strike. “Saved baseball?” Not so much according to Costas…



We’ll wait and see if Republicans call Costas out of the 'pen to battle the Democrats' witness David Cone later in the week.


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Thursday, June 18, 2009

From The D.C. Bureau: Congressional Baseball Is Not A Sport

Just thought I'd update the rest of the country on what its tax dollars were up to last night.

Each year, your members of Congress gather 'round the the ol' ballpark and perform a giant geriatric circle jerk in front of their paid staffs and the adoring media. The morning after, sports fans in DC get to wake up to the following in the morning headlines. "Oh what a site it was..." "Rep. X really hustled all night...""Rep. Heath Shuler also sucks at baseball..." etc.


Here's the truth:

These guys play baseball about as well as they spend our money. And the crowd probably has attended more Ways and Means committee hearings than ballgames, which is why they no doubt know the words to Schoolhouse Rock’s “I’m just a bill” better than “Take Me Out To The Ballgame." Moreover, the fact nobody could go yard against Joe Baca, a 62 year old Congressman who sorta looks like a old/fat Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez, tells me that none of them deserve your vote in 2010.

(Except Sen. John Ensign…he didn’t attend for some reason. So go ahead and vote for that guy.)

If you still don't believe just how fecal this event is, I’m displaying pictures comparing this fake baseball bonanza to the real deal happening in Omaha:


Congressional pics via dcist.com
CWS pics via texassports.com

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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

From the DC Bureau: Steeplechasing Is A Sport

OK so maybe drinking my face off on Friday night was a bad move, I was waaaay too hungover to go to the annual douchefest in the DC area known as Gold Cup. But a reliable source of mine just emailed in a few pictures of the event and I now realize this is a sporting event I should have been at. I didn't know what "Steeplechasing" was, but now I know it is an alcohol Olympics of sort where you a) dress in costume and urinate in public (Photo 1), b) consume mass quantities of fine booze (See photo 2) and c) chase babes with huge racks (photo 3, far right) in sun dresses around a race track.

I've attached photographic evidence to back up my claims and apologize for not being there in person to report live from the scene.

-Special Agent Blue Pulaski, DC Bureau

Exhibit 1


Exhibit 2


Exhibit 3



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