Thursday, June 18, 2009

From The D.C. Bureau: Congressional Baseball Is Not A Sport

Just thought I'd update the rest of the country on what its tax dollars were up to last night.

Each year, your members of Congress gather 'round the the ol' ballpark and perform a giant geriatric circle jerk in front of their paid staffs and the adoring media. The morning after, sports fans in DC get to wake up to the following in the morning headlines. "Oh what a site it was..." "Rep. X really hustled all night...""Rep. Heath Shuler also sucks at baseball..." etc.

Here's the truth:

These guys play baseball about as well as they spend our money. And the crowd probably has attended more Ways and Means committee hearings than ballgames, which is why they no doubt know the words to Schoolhouse Rock’s “I’m just a bill” better than “Take Me Out To The Ballgame." Moreover, the fact nobody could go yard against Joe Baca, a 62 year old Congressman who sorta looks like a old/fat Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez, tells me that none of them deserve your vote in 2010.

(Except Sen. John Ensign…he didn’t attend for some reason. So go ahead and vote for that guy.)

If you still don't believe just how fecal this event is, I’m displaying pictures comparing this fake baseball bonanza to the real deal happening in Omaha:

Congressional pics via
CWS pics via

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