The Cynic's Guide to College Football: An Open Letter to Rupert Murdoch

Dear Rupert,

So I've been catching up on the news, and it looks like you've had a pretty rough week. What, with you being forced to testify before Parliament and to shut down your long-running News of the World tabloid after it was discovered your people had illegally hacked the cell phone of a missing woman. Never mind the fact that the FBI is now investigating you for doing the same thing to 9/11 victims. And that Michelle Bachmann keeps doing stupid things faster than your boys at Fox News can make excuses for her. And that your top long-time assistant and confidante just skipped out on you. Yep, it's been a tough one. I feel for you, I really do.

Rupert in happier times.

So that's why I am writing today with a proposal to help restore some of your media glory and make you a hero to millions of Americans. You can not only redeem your image, but do a huge service to us sports fans on this side of the pond. And here's all you have to do--take down ESPN.

I know, I know, that sounds like a big task. Them being the worldwide leader and all. But hear me out.

If we've learned nothing else from the reaction to the Casey Anthony verdict, it's that Americans don't take too kindly to a perceived injustice. And ESPN just committed a doozie. They suspended Bruce Feldman, one of the finest journalists in sports, for having the audacity to work with former Texas Tech football coach Mike Leach on his new book, Swing Your Sword, which details Leach's final days as coach and the behind-the-scenes work by ESPN analyst Craig James to have him fired.

ESPN has reportedly scheduled a book-burning party in the corporate parking lot for this afternoon. Bring your own marshmallows.

The saga of Adam James/Mike Leach/Craig James has been well-documented, so I won't go into it here. Suffice it to say, most football fans felt that Leach was given a raw deal by Texas Tech, with the complicity of Craig James and, directly or indirectly, ESPN.

Well, guess what? Thanks to the power of the Freedom of Information Act, Feldman uncovered emails which prove that, not only was Texas Tech looking for an excuse to fire Leach, but that Craig James and his PR firm were only too happy to do their dirty work and provide the ammunition to make that happen. And for outing one of their golden boys, ESPN was quick to commit yet another injustice by indefinitely suspending Feldman from his duties. And why did they do this? Because they can. Because there is no one out there who can both hold them accountable and is big enough to offer a legitimate alternative.

And that's where you come in, Rupert. There was a time when ESPN programming was actually good. It's been a long time, but it happened. Back before Craig Kilborn went Hollywood and Keith Olbermann started wearing Birkenstocks and Che Guevara shirts. Back before "The Decision" and all-Chris-Berman-all-the-time programming. And there was one simple reason: competition.

Back then CNN ran a nightly segment called Sports Tonight that went head-to-head with SportsCenter. In the early days, CNN actually had the superior product, which forced ESPN to raise it's game. As a result, SportsCenter improved as a show, its anchors (notably the team of Olbermann and Dan Patrick) became national phenomena and the rest is history. CNN pre-empted Sports Tonightduring the disputed 2000 presidential election and it never came back in its same form, leaving ESPN as the only game in town when it came to national sports coverage.

Fred Hickman and the late Nick Charles doing sports the way it should be done.

Rupert, America needs you to rescue us. Save us from ourselves. We mindlessly turn on SportsCenter and repeat meaningless sports catchphrases (Booyah!) simply because that's all we know to do. An entire generation of young Americans has grown up thinking that sports would not exist if it were not for ESPN. We need you to help us show them it's the other way around.. And you can do that by providing us with an alternative.

Sure, the public is doing what it can. Writers across the country have jumped to Feldman's defense. And Twitter users actually had #freeBruce trending higher than Harry Potter the day before the new movie opened. But we can't do it alone, Rupert. We are asking for your help.

Fox is the only entity in America who is ready to compete with the Disney/ABC/ESPN conglomerate. Your over-the-air Fox affiliates and the cable components of Fox Sports Net are in virtually every household in America. You already have the groundwork in place to go toe-to-toe with ESPN. All it needs is a little more initiative from you and we can finally offer American sports fans a real alternative, diminish the virtually unlimited power of ESPN and help right the injustice done to Bruce Feldman.

Here's what I am asking you to do:

1. Go national. While I enjoy the regional coverage of my favorite local teams on my Fox Sports Net affiliate, America is ready for another big fish in the pond. With the combined broadcasting power of all your various Fox sports stations, you could get your signal into almost as many households as ABC/ESPN. Yes, it'll take some money. But money is one thing you've got. Besides, you can take all the money you had planned on using to print News of the World and use it to boost your cable programming.
2. Be bold. Don't tiptoe around the subject. Let the world know that your objective is to take on Disney and ESPN. Hire a good graphic designer to come up with a new logo or mascot to reflect your mission. Maybe a cartoon fox with a sly smile and sharp teeth. And a mouse's tail dangling out of his mouth.
3. Don't skimp on the reporters. ESPN has gotten lazy. While there are certainly exceptions, ESPN does very little original reporting. And when they do, they usually get it wrong (see also Schad, Joe). They just steal from other sources and repackage the information with "ESPN sources report . . ." without giving proper credit. Don't make that mistake. Hire good writers for your website, ones who actually do real reporting. Guys like Bruce Feldman. It might cost you a little money in the short run to steal some guys away from ESPN and Sports Illustrated, but it will pay huge dividends in the long run.
4. Don't be afraid to make ESPN the bad guy. Have you watched your own Fox News lately? It's very little news. It's basically 20+ hours a day of people yelling about how Barack Obama/MSNBC/Harry Reid are to blame for all of society's woes. Not trying to be political here, but you need to follow a similar model, at least to a point. You can't be afraid to pick a fight with the Mouse. Remind viewers constantly how ESPN is to blame for "The Decision". How ESPN has a huge conflict of interest in owning most of the bowl games they carry. How they suspend good journalists like Bruce Feldman for exposing one of their pretty boys, but look the other way when on-air personality Woody Paige gets caught plagiarizing stories. How ESPN is completely biased in favor of covering Texas sports and the Big 12, since they are now in bed with the Longhorns to to the tune of 20 years/$300 million. How ESPN convinced large numbers of people that poker is a sport. How ESPN is to blame for today's housing market. (OK, that last one might not be true. But then again, factual accuracy has never been one of your strongest suits, so people will expect it.)
5. But don't forget the sports. Some commentary and well-placed jabs at the expense of your competition will be fine. But the success of Fox Sports will ride on the quality of your programming. Look, no one's expecting you to to take down the worldwide leader overnight. Certainly, you won't have anything to compete with Monday Night Football. And their SEC and Big Ten football broadcasts will probably trump your Pac-12 and secondary Big 12 games. But you can go toe-to-toe with them in baseball. And, provided you don't hire Dick Vitale, it shouldn't be hard to best their college basketball coverage. Down the line, you'll have to pony up some money to win some bidding wars for better broadcast rights. But in the short term, the real key is going to be your sports highlight shows. Think about ESPN--they basically record SportsCenter twice a day, and then just keep replaying it over and over throughout the day until it's time for "Around the Horn". If you can keep your content fresh and provide a show that is entertaining and informative to the educated fan, I think you can go head-to-head with SportsCenter.
   

This has all been a long-time coming. I've thought for some time that the world needed some legitimate competition for ESPN. This latest saga with Bruce Feldman just showed me how badly we need it.

This is all a big task, I know. But I also know that you have never been one to back down from a challenge. You're the only one right now with the resources to help us right a wrong and end the Disney/ABC/ESPN monopoly on American sports coverage. This won't rehabilitate your public image overnight, but it will certainly make you a hero to millions of American sports fans.

So do it for yourself. Do it for Bruce Feldman. And, even though you're not one of us, do it for America

Thank you for your attention.
Sincerely,
American Sports Fans
P.S. Fire Joe Buck.

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Rusty Mourns a Basketball Legend

NC State's improbable run to the NCAA Tournament Championship was THE Cinderella story of March Madness. Dubbed the "Cardiac Pack" for their penchant for 2nd half heroics, the 1983 Woflpack squad capped their memorable run with a last second slam dunk to beat the heavily favored Houston. To the casual observer, Lorenzo Charles' buzzer beating slam was the pinnacle of basketball perfection. A more astute fan might tell you he was out of position and just happened to be in the right place at the right time. The look on his face after putting in the winning basket might lend credence to that take on events. Regardless, he was the hero of the team. His shot can still be seen on the video lead-in to CBS's annual tournament coverage.

Unfortunately, Charles life was cut unexpectedly short yesterday when he was killed in a bus accident outside Raleigh. Wolfpack nation and any fan of college basketball now mourns the loss of a real legend of March Madness

This clip still gives me goose bumps!

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SI & Jim Tressel: Thats What She Said

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Butler U Mascot, Butler Blue II, Social Media Top Dog

Final Four-bound Butler's mascot, Butler Blue II, not only has his own Twitter handle (@ButlerBlue2), but he just unleashed the 2011 Butler Blue II Final Four mask. Both are spectacular.

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Yinzers Take Excuses, Belly-Aching to Facebook

Before Pitt's Gilbert Brown shot his free throws following a foul called with 1.4 seconds left in the game, Butler's Shelvin Mack made some chit chat with Brown. According to Mack academics, not basketball was on his mind: "I asked him where he was from, simple questions, talked to him a little bit, he responded back," Mack said. "There was no trash talk or anything like that. Yeah, I told him I was from Lexington [Ky.]. I had a 3.0 [GPA], just stuff like that."

After the game's end, Facebook chatter in Pittsburgh was quite different. Pitt fans seemingly forgot that their team had a shot clock violation, gave up a lay-up, and then missed a free throw for the win win. Indeed we now know that refs may call a foul with 1.4 seconds left, but not with 0.8 left.

Yinzers took to Facebook immediately after the game to complain about Pitt being robbed, much to the delight of many commenters.

Click to enlarge...

-Assassin Ave.

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Well Who Doesn't Love Morehead?

It's for moments like this that Beaver College wisely changed their name several years ago.

Thanks, Syz! h/t Gunaxin!

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The World According to Bill Walton (And What a Groovy World It Is)

Professor Bill Walton.

I may not agree with all of Bill Walton's politics, but I believe in 100% on his outlook on life. Getting to spend a half hour with him - along with a half dozen other bloggers the day before St. Pat's Day at the onset of the NCAA tournament - was nothing less than a blessing. His genuine, caring nature resonated resoundingly. As was his genuine love for Guinness - the ale he was pitching.

"With St. Patrick’s Day and a day of must-see basketball both taking place on March 17th this year, I can’t think of a better time to take a day off from work," said Walton. "It’s a day to step back, enjoy the important things in life with a perfectly poured pint of GUINNESS and take bold action. If you’re the type who plays it safe and is all about picking No. 1 seeds to go all the way in your bracket, this is not for you. But if you like making bold choices, perhaps we’ll raise a pint together at a sports bar on St. Patrick’s Day!"

However, as the day went on, his message became simpler, more authority-defying: "Go bold, quit your job, and chase your dreams."

While we were all willing to go along for the long, strange trip with him, I think John from Red's Army put it best, "It's kinda what I'm doing now. I shoulda asked Bill how to get PAID to do it.... I mean other than 'be a Hall of Fame baller.'"

Here's some highlights from the chat. I could transcribe everything, but I'd be doing you a disservice if I didn't let you hear Billy wax poetic in his own melodic tones.

Talking to Bill Walton about his favorite college player, Jimmer Fredette, invokes comparisons to (among others) Pete Maravich, Larry Bird, Danny Ainge and JJ Barea.



When asked if the First Four diluted the NCAA Tournament, Bill Walton supported the notion that more basketball means more opportunity for all. In the next breath, he criticized the NBA Players Association's misplaced priorities in not looking out for their own, but rather high schoolers who aren't even members of the union.

SLAM's Adam Figman, did a great job transcribing:

“More basketball! It means more money. More money, means more opportunities for other students, other sports, and the NCAA—I’m a big believer. I don’t think you should pay players; I think that’s a mistake. The value of a college scholarship—anybody in this room go to college? [Hands raise] Anybody in this room think this was a valuable experience and it helped you with your life? [Hands raise] Yes, so that’s the value that you get. It’s not about paying them money. Give value, but make the value be realistic. And have exceptions. Have exceptions for extreme cases. And make it worthwhile for the players to stay. The Player’s Association [and] the current players are making a huge mistake arguing for high school players to come into the League. The Union represents current players, and those jobs at the end of the line. That’s what the Union should be fighting for, as opposed to the guys who aren’t even in the Union. I’m for a rule that would have three years out of high school, or 21 years of age. Three years, or minimum 21 years of age. The NBA, that’s a man’s League. It’s adults. College is different; two totally different sports. And fantastic, unique and great in their respective ways.”

Walton on what he's learned from Coach Wooden, his parents, and his own fatherly advice:



If there are two individuals who shaped Walton's love of the game, it was Chick Hearn, the legendary Los Angeles play-by-play announcer, and one of the Laker foes Hearn called over the air, the Boston's Bill Russell.



Finally, hitting on who are real contenders this year, Walton sees the Celtics and Lakers, with whomever getting home-advantage coming out with the crown. He notes that with Chicago and Miami gunning for them, the Celtics will have a more difficult time than the Lakers who only need to fend off Dallas and San Antonio.

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Waiting for Godunk: Talking Tourney with Greg Anthony & the Powerade ION4 Bracketology Scientists

Kevin Owens is a seven year veteran of overseas professional basketball. He currently writes for SB Nation Philadelphia, SLAM Online, Hugging Harold Reynolds and his own blog Waiting For Godunk, which details his career as a standby athlete. He played for Monmouth University in the 2001 NCAA Tournament. Follow him on Twitter @Waiting4Godunk.

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During my playing career, I have been injured more times than I can count. I’ve worn knee braces, elbow pads, ankle braces, protective glasses, a facemask, and on one occasion an athletic cup. (My man parts are ok now.) Never have I had to wear anything like former UNLV and NBA standout Greg Anthony. Anthony, who broke his jaw in 1990 practiced in a hockey helmet during his recovery.

This is one of the bits of information I received from the HBO Documentary Runnin’ Rebels which premiered Sunday night. Monday morning I had the opportunity to meet Greg Anthony, now a basketball analyst for CBS Sports, ESPN, and Yahoo Sports, and ask his opinion about the 2011 NCAA Tournament.

We met up at CBS’s Bracket Lounge in the Time Warner Center. Powerade, the official drink of the NCAA Tournament, sponsors the lounge, which gives shoppers, or the occasional slacker skipping work, a place to watch the NCAA games live. Along with watching the tournament, they have many interactive games which include a mini-basketball shooting contest.

Greg and I were at the lounge as official “Powerade ION4 Bracketology Scientists” along with Kevin Burke from The Hoop Doctors, Susan Shan from Susan Shan.com and Josh Zerkle from With Leather. I quickly learned that as much as I watch college basketball, my seven year hiatus from intently watching the tournament put me at an analytical disadvantage.

Case and point, a sleeper pick of mine, Villanova. In my bracket I have the Wildcats reestablishing themselves as one of the best teams in the nation and doing some damage. My thought process being that Nova now has their full roster healthy and practicing again. Then Greg Anthony dropped some knowledge on me. “You’re looking at the name on the jersey. Don’t always just look at the name on the front of the shirt. Everybody is doing that with their region. Villanova is the weakest nine seed in the tournament, by far. If I’m OSU, I’m saying I could be playing Villanova. I like that; I’m not upset with that.”

0-1

My other sleeper was the Richmond Spiders. I just covered the A-10 Tournament for SB Nation Philly and watched them play twice over the weekend. I was shocked that they were a 12 seed and not an eight or nine. Kevin Richardson, although small, can put up some serious numbers. Richardson’s teammate Justin Harper has jumped up the NBA draft boards lately with his fine play over the past few months. I was convinced that the Spiders could overtake Vanderbilt in the first round. Then more knowledge dropped by Anthony. “Vandy is a potential Final Four team.” Damnitt!

0-2

I also am not big on Florida doing much in the tournament. I say this mainly because I haven’t seen them play that often. I have them losing in the second round…That is until Greg…Knowledge…Dropped. “Florida’s won more games, outside of the Big East, against the top 50 than anybody in the country. They were 12-3 coming into the championship game. If you look at their division, they had Kentucky, Tennessee, Vanderbilt, Georgia in the same division all make the Tournament, and you won that division by three games.”

0-3

I feel like my bracket was in disarray and the tournament hadn’t even started. Although I walked towards the exit with little confidence in my analytical skills, I was grateful to have met such intelligent analysts. It was then that I noticed my bag and sweatshirt were missing. In their place sat a more expensive looking bag, far heavier than mine, and a grey sweatshirt, far nicer than mine.

I quickly realized that one of the reps had brought my bag down to Greg instead of his. I felt like Greg probably didn’t want to swap his bag for mine, which contained car keys for my car parked in central New Jersey, my grey hoodie and a half eaten chocolate chip cookie.

The situation was quickly rectified and our bags swapped back to their rightful owners. As I stood, eating the remainder of my stale cookie, I saw Greg Anthony and his bag walking out. Greg overwhelmed me with his basketball knowledge. He knew so many stats and information off the top of his head. I’m sure he works harder than most analysts, reading hundreds of stat sheets and team breakdowns whenever he has free time. I began to realize why that bag was so heavy.

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NCAA Volleyball Groupies Rule

This grandfatherly white creeper has an affection for tall, lean African sisters and wants the world to know it.

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The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Week 6

We're right about at the halfway point of the season. Some things we know (Oregon is good. The Pistol is football's newest craze. Les Miles has replaced Nick Saban as Satan's pet project). Some things we don't (How will Taylor Martinez fare against stronger competition? Is Ohio State really the #1 team in the nation? How bad will things get for Penn State? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?). But things are definitely getting interesting. With Alabama proving to be mortal after all, the national championship race is as wide open as I can remember. You could make a pretty good case for any one of 8 or 9 different schools winning it all. We've got a bunch of really good teams, but none that are without their faults. So buckle up everyone. The next few weeks could be a wild ride. Now on to this week's observations.

You Suck. Yeah, You.
I don't care how much you can bench, how many Monster energy drinks you can chug or how many Affliction shirts you own. Unless you've lost a body part during a game-and stayed in the game-you are a great big steaming pile of pansiness compared to Virginia Tech OL Greg Nosal.

Game tape of Nolan in action.

Now That's Motivation
By now, everybody knows that New Mexico State football is really bad. But, on the plus side, the Aggie players still had the luxury of being football players, with all the girls, parties and other perks that went along with that stature. Until now. As Sports by Brooks alerted us last week, an unnamed person or persons distributed thousands of NSFW flyers around the NMSU campus, urging the local co-eds not to engage in, um, extracurricular activities with any of the football players until they won a game. (As the flyer so eloquently put it, "Once you score a win, then you can get it in.")

Crude though it might have been, the extra motivation apparently worked, as the Aggies snapped their 11-game losing streak with a 16-14 win over in-state rival (if you can call an 0-6 team who's even worse than you that) New Mexico.

I'm guessing Coach Walker's postgame press conference wasn't the highlight of the celebration.

New Math
Les Miles is 49% football genius and 51% bats*%t insane. Or vice versa. Depending on the week.

"Les, did you remember to take your meds today?"

When the Lawyers Win, We All Lose
Earlier in the week, the U. of Texas Athletic Department cracked down on an internet company that was selling Nebraska-themed shirts with the famed Longhorn logo upside down in preparation for this week's grudge match between the Huskers and the 'Horns. (FYI: Texas made over $10 million in royalties off of the Longhorn logo last year. I've always wondered how much of that came from Oklahoma fans who bought the Texas logo just to put it upside down. Never made sense to me. You do know you're aiding your enemy, right? OK, moving on.) But it raised a bigger question: shouldn't the makers of Angry Birds be paying royalties to Ball State?

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The Cynic’s Guide to College Football: 2010 Preseason Predictions

Man, what I wild offseason that was. With all the conference realignment/dealignment rumors out there, it seemed like college football was the talk of the summer. Heck, ESPN even took a break from Favre Watch 2010 to report some more (wildly inaccurate) Big 10 expansion rumors from Joe Schad. So, for us college football geeks, the good news was that we had plenty to discuss all summer. The bad news was that we had plenty to discuss, but it was still only summer.

But, finally, all the talk is behind us. Everybody is ready to go and I never thought I’d be so excited to tune into Versus and the Big 10 Network. So, without further ado, here are the Cynic’s 21 fearless preseason predictions that are guaranteed to be wrong. Unless they’re right, in which case I want a cut of whatever you won in Vegas.

Take me with you!

1. Winner Takes All

A non-BCS team will make the national championship game, but it’s not the one you think. Boise State’s title hopes will be done in week one when they lose to Virginia Tech. Meanwhile, TCU will quietly run the table and, thanks to the amazing power of poll voter inertia, magically move up the rankings to make the title game. But they’ll lose to Ohio State. (And yes, I know it’s blasphemous to pick a national title game that doesn’t have an SEC team in it.)

Hey, the crystal matches my sweater vest!

2. The Best of the Rest

• Rose Bowl: Oregon vs. Florida
• Orange Bowl: Miami vs. Nebraska
• Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma vs. UConn
• Sugar Bowl: Alabama vs. Wisconsin

3. Hype Springs Eternal

With Tebow, McCoy and Bradford all finally gone, this year’s Heisman race is as wide open as ever. The finalists will be:

• Oklahoma wide receiver Ryan Broyles. Missed two games last year with a broken shoulder blade and still set the school record for receptions.
• TCU quarterback Andy Dalton. Be the top player on a team in the title game, and you get an automatic invite to New York. It’s a rule or something.
• Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett. It’s also a rule that you have to have at least one SEC player invited to the party. Mallett is the one most likely to put up the big numbers.
• Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor. The hype on Pryor is too great this year for him not to get an invite. And if tOSU runs the table, he’ll have earned it.
• Oregon RB LaMichael James or Oregon St. RB Jacquizz Rogers. Depends on whichever Oregon team has a better season.

Pryor will carry home the trophy.

Gratuitous Heisman pose shot.

4. This time next year, Butch Davis and Rich Rodriguez will still be involved in lawsuits against their respective schools after being fired at the end of the season, but both schools refusing to pay their buyouts, arguing they were fired for cause after running afoul of the NCAA.

5. Other BCS-conference coaches looking for a job: Dan Hawkins (Colorado), Mike Stoops (Arizona), Ron Zook (Illinois) and Tom O’Brien (North Carolina State).

6. Steve Spurrier will announce his retirement from coaching at the end of the season.

7. Lee Corso will announce his retirement at the end of the season. And will be replaced by Steve Spurrier.

8. Joe Paterno will announce he’s coming back for 2011, mainly because he wants to be in the Big 10 with “that young whippersnapper” Tom Osborne.

9. Miami head coach Randy Shannon will be a hot name rumored for a couple of NFL openings, but will ultimately stay with the Canes.

10. Western Kentucky will extend their nation’s-worst losing streak to 32 games by the end of the season.

Football has not been kind to Big Red.

11. Tim Tebow will be referenced at least 15 times during every Florida Gators broadcast this year. And at least 5 times in every Denver Broncos broadcast.

The world’s most popular backup quarterback.

12. With Texas Tech athletic director Gerald Myers announcing his retirement, the “Mike Leach for AD” campaign will be in full force by the end of the season.

13. USC will find a half-eaten cheese sandwich that Reggie Bush accidentally left behind in 2004. They will send it back.

14. At least 5 walk-ons will start for North Carolina this season. Because everyone else has been suspended.

How many times did I tell you not to Tweet about going to your agent’s stripper parties while your tutor wrote your term papers for you?

15. Joe Schad will report something that is actually true. (Hey, it’s gotta happen eventually, right?)

16. People will make 54,376,232 jokes about the Big 12 having 10 teams and the Big 10 having 12. And they’ll think they’re being funny every time. And they’ll be wrong every time.

7-Eleven didn’t change their name when they started staying open 24 hours. Now let it go.

17. Since Jeremiah Masoli was ruled ineligible, Ole Miss coach Huston Nutt will go after other soldiers-for-hire. But the Rebels will still finish last in the SEC West.

On the upside, B.A. Barracus will make 2nd team all-conference at linebacker.

18. Virginia Tech will upset Boise State in Week One. Tyrod Taylor will jump to the top of the Heisman watch lists. And then Virginia Tech will then gift wrap the ACC title for Miami with the same two inexplicable conference losses the Hokies always seem to manage.

19. Top 25 team (not named North Carolina) most likely to tank this season: #19 Penn State. A freshman QB, a suspect offensive line and road trips to Alabama, Iowa and Ohio State are not good omens.

20. Unranked team most likely to join the party: You heard it here first, Connecticut will win the Big East.

Yes, I’m sure we’re not talking about women's basketball.

21. Player most likely to be benched at least three times this season: South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia

A couple of random notes:

Biggest Badass: Miami DE Allen Bailey. The man once killed an alligator. With a shovel. So he could eat it.

Bailey demonstrating his gator strangling technique.

Best Name: Nebraska CB Prince Amukamara

I promise you NFL scouts know his name.

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The Cynic’s Guide to College Football: Big 12(10) Winners and Losers

Well, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth about the impending Armageddon of conference realignment, the bomb has finally dropped and we’re left with, well, pretty much what we already had. Nebraska moved to the Big 10. Colorado and (reportedly) Utah will be heading to the Pac-10. And Mountain West teams will soon be heading to the Smurf Turf of Boise State. But other than that, it all turned out to be much ado about nothing. But that doesn’t mean we can’t engage still in a little snap judgment. With that, here are (in no particular order) the Big 12(10) Winners and Losers in the expansion fiasco.

WINNERS

1. Texas. The big winners in all of this. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, it’s hard not to respect the piece of Machiavelliangenius that Texas just pulled off. The Longhorns successfully managed to dupe the Pac-10, (most of) the rest of the Big 12 and the national sports media. And what did they get?

• A potential new TV deal that will pay them even more.
• Nine other schools now completely at the Longhorns’ mercy.
• Making the five schools that didn't have a BCS conference invite sign over their share of the Nebraska and Colorado buyout money.
• An even greater revenue disparity to their benefit.
• Their own TV network.
  
• A conference schedule that will, in all likelihood, put them just one game away from a shot at the national title every year.

In other words, everything they wanted from the beginning and then some. Rob Oller of the Columbus Dispatch put it best: “No one can say Horns never play anyone. They just played everyone.”

Forget the World Series of Poker. DeLoss Dodds is the real Texas Hold ‘Em Champion.

2. The Big 12 Teams Not Named Texas (Short-Term). If Dan Beebe can pull off his miracle TV deal he claims he can get, the TV package for all the schools will grow significantly. More importantly, the remaining Big 12 schools that didn’t have BCS conference invites are spared the indignity of having to beg the Mountain West or the MAC for membership.

3. The Big 10. They add one of the most successful programs in NCAA history that brings in big TV numbers. They finally get a conference championship game for a big money payday. And, by not jumping the gun to super-conference status right now, they leave themselves some wiggle room for Notre Dame future expansion.

4. Nebraska. Tom Osborne proved to be prophetic. Whether you agree with his opinion of them or not, it’s true that everything he lamented in the conference—the shifting of power to Texas, the unequal revenue distribution, the lack of a Big 12 network, etc.—not only will continue under the new Big 12, but appear to be getting even worse. For good or bad, the culture of the conference simply isn’t what it once was. Nebraska had become an outsider in its own conference and the move to the Big Ten was a natural one. Yes, the extra money ($22-$25 million instead of the $10 million they made in the Big 12) and the chance to leave Texas behind are nice, but perhaps even more important the move gives the Cornhuskers the stability and egalitarian culture lacking in the Big 12.

“What can I say, I TRIED to warn them.”

5. Chip Brown, Orangebloods.com. Yes, it seems a little slimy when a site trolling for subscribers and serving as a mouthpiece for the biggest player in all this is the one breaking the stories. And, sure, those stories weren’t always accurate (he broke both the report that Texas was joining the Pac-10 and that Texas was staying with the Big 12). But over the last week, he’s had ESPN eating out of his hand and become a household name with football geeks waiting on pins and needles for his next Tweet.

What do Chip’s sources say today?

6. Pot dealers. When Colorado and California get together for their first Pac-10 meeting, there may not be enough dope, tie dye or Phish cover bands to go around.

Tailgating in Boulder

7. Stewart Mandel, Sports Illustrated. The man predicted Nebraska’s move—three years ago.

8. The Red River Rivalry. With Nebraska out of the picture and no conference championship game, the annual Oklahoma/Texas shootout becomes a de facto conference title game and very likely a play-in game for a BCS title shot.

One of the biggest games in college football gets even bigger. Plus it has corn dogs.

9. T. Boone Pickens. Without having to compete with Phil Knight, Pickens can maintain his status as the biggest spender in the conference.

Lord Boone mingling with the commoners.

10. Arizona and Arizona State. Under the proposed Pac-10 expansion discussions, the Wildcats and Sun Devils would have been put in a western division with the six new schools from the Big 12. In other words, they would have to play Texas and Oklahoma every year. Now they can breathe a sigh of relief and still hold on to that pipe dream of making it back to the Rose Bowl
someday. Plus, Bob and Mike Stoops don't have to worry about those awkward family reunions.

LOSERS

1. The Big 12 Teams Not Named Texas (Long-Term). This whole process showed one thing. Texas is the king, and everybody else in the conference exists for the sole purpose of doing the Longhorns bidding. If there was any doubt about who the top program in college athletics is, it’s over now. While the smaller schools in the conference are breathing a sigh of relief right now, I wouldn’t get too comfortable. The only reason the Big 12 exists today is because, right now, it is in Texas’ best interest. But the Longhorns won’t commit to anything long term (another reason Nebraska wanted out—UT refused to commit to anything past 2016), so the conference may be right back in this same position a few years from now when the new TV deal runs out. Texas is looking out for Texas. Period. And if the revenue doesn’t come in like projected or they think they can cut a better deal somewhere else, the rest of the Big 12 will all be scrambling for new homes.

Help, help, I’m being repressed!

2. Missouri. The Tigers have had their bags packed for months, not even trying to conceal their love affair with the Big 10. So to get stranded at the altar in favor of Nebraska had to sting quite a bit. Plus, they’re now stuck with a new TV deal where the revenue disparity will be even bigger than before and they have to play both Texas and Oklahoma every year. While they have to hold out hope that the Big 10 may expand somewhere down the line, the uncertainty of their immediate future has to have Mizzou hating life.

“I want to go to the Big Ten THIS much.”

3. Colorado’s Short-Term Future. Colorado tried to get ahead of the curve by jumping to the Pac-10, expecting the Big 12 to dissolve behind them. Because it didn’t, the Buffs are now on the hook for approximately $9 million over the next two years in lost revenue they owe back to the Big 12 as punishment for leaving.

And you thought CU fans were upset when they couldn’t come up with the money to buy out Dan Hawkins.

4. Oklahoma’s Self-Respect. The Sooners’ marching band is called the Pride of Oklahoma. After this week’s developments, they may have to rethink that. For some inexplicable reason, OU Athletic Director Joe Castiglione kept finding ways to reiterate the fact that the Sooners would go wherever Texas went. While that move might (and I emphasize might) have been in OU’s best interest (at least in the short term), did it really help to paint the Sooners into a corner like that, take all other options off the table and basically admit that OU has become the Longhorns’ little sister?

C’mon, Joe. You guys are better than that.

5. Journalism. I, for one, will never trust any future article with the line “Sources close to the program say . . .” again. There was so much misinformation and outright deception going on that journalistic integrity was the first casualty in the Great Expansion Wars of 2010. And if someone wasn’t breaking incorrect stories, then someone else was running with that information and claiming it as their own.

I’m looking at you, Joe Schad.

6. Brett Favre. For the first time in years, the annual summer “will he or won’t he” retirement talk hasn’t been the biggest offseason story in football.

"Hello? Will somebody pay attention to me now?"

7. Big 12 Relevance. For some time, the Big 12 North division has largely been an afterthought. The winner of the Oklahoma/Texas game would go on, win the conference championship and then go on to the BCS. But there was always at least a little bit of intrigue, given the history of title game upsets (Texas in ’96, A&M in 98, Kansas State in ’03, etc.) and Nebraska’s recent resurgence. All that, however, goes out the window with the loss of
the conference title game and no real competition for the Longhorns and Sooners. Barring some huge upsets, 9 of the league’s 10 teams will effectively be irrelevant on the college football scene by mid-October.

8. Dan Beebe’s Math. I took calculus in high school, and then clepped out my college math requirements. So I haven’t studied math in . . . let’s see, minus 18, times the circumference, carry the one . . . a lot of years. But I still can’t figure out how Big 12 Commissioner Dan Beebe figures that subtracting one of your better TV draws (Nebraska), scrapping a conference championship game and losing the Denver media market somehow adds up to almost doubling the conference’s TV contract.

9. The Pac-10. Here they thought they had Texas, the biggest fish in the college football sea, coming aboard. All they had to do was take their in-state rivals, Texas A&M and Texas Tech, with them. But then word got out that Baylor had friends in high places and that some Texas legislators were threatening to submarine the deal if Baylor wasn’t included in the package. So the Pac-10 tried to call their bluff, issuing a pre-emptive invitation to Colorado. However, the plan backfired and, instead of getting Texas as the jewel in their conference crown, they’re stuck with an underachieving Colorado program that just got hit with NCAA scholarship reductions.

10. Jerry Jones. Jerry had just secured the Big 12 Championship game for his new Taj Mahal in Dallas through 2013. Now it appears that there won’t be a title game past 2010.

Available for parties, weddings, rehearsals, bar mitzvahs...

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Terry DeHere's Political Career Ends Quicker Than His NBA One

Terry DeHere finished his college career as Seton Hall's all-time leading scorer, second team All-American, the 1993 Big East Player of the Year, and was selected 13th overall in the NBA draft that year.

By 1999, he was out of the Association. He returned to Jersey City, where he once played for legendary Bob Hurley at St. Anthony's HS, and became entrenched in the community as a restaurant owner and philanthropist.

With star power and local ties, politics seemed a likely path.

After an unsuccessful bid for a council seat in 2001, DeHere won a seat on the city's board of elections in 2007.

Last night, quicker than his NBA career ended, DeHere got trounced in his re-election bid.

Crushed.

Sterling Waterman - 6,946 votes
*Angel Valentin - 6,453 votes
Carol Lester - 3,848 votes
Sebastian D'Amico - 3,391 votes
*L. Terry Dehere - 2,199 votes
*Gerald McCann - 2,199 votes

(* = incumbent)

DeHere ran on a slate with Gerald McCann, the city's former mayor, that was opposed by the local teacher's union after they (McCann & DeHere) "voted against a teachers contract that called for roughly 4 percent raises for the next four years."

With the state's new governor going head-on with the teachers unions as a whole (namely due to his plea to them to implement a salary freeze for one year), "voters rejected school budgets in about half of the state's school districts, a dramatic drop from the 74% that were passed in 2009." Jersey City seems to be an exception to the rule, and DeHere ended up paying the price for trying to be fiscally sound at the expense of an apparently electorally influential group.

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Preserving History: Bulldogs Feel the Blues

After each major sporting event, HHR takes a look at how it is portrayed in news print in some of the nation's leading dailies. Part out of curiosity, and part to preserve the dying medium.

Despite being a competitive championship game throughout its duration, Duke's victory was lost on most of the major dailies throughout the country as Opening Day and Tiger's presser dominated most front page sports headlines outside of Tobacco Road and Indiana.

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Separated at Birth: General Zod

WVU's Deniz Kilicli now has time resume plotting the demise of Superman.

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"Mountaineers Send Duke Home..."

Country Road...the remix.

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The Big (L)East

The Big East Tournament gets started today. As we have said time and again, this is hands down the best conference tournament in all the land. Many of the men that start play today will one day wear an NBA jersey. With that in mind, let's talk about the Big East studs that never quite lived up to the hype in the NBA. Of course, names will be forgotten and omitted so please chime in with your choices. Also, this will kick start at the year 1990. So there. These are in no particular order.

1. Derrick Coleman, Syracuse - Most noted for coining the phrase "Whoop-de-damn-doo" Coleman didn't have a terrible NBA career which gives you the idea of the kind of player people thought he would be. Top pick of the New Jersey Nets he was a five tool player that never really seemed super interested in dominating the way he was capable. Still made an All-Star team and helped rejuvenate the Nets but I think we can all agree, we expected more. Bright side to this, since retirement DC has done amazing things for the city of Detroit in trying to that area back on its feet, and there is your silver lining for the day.

2. Hasheem Thabeet, UCONN - The jury is still very much out on Thabeet but since he just got sent down to the D-League and was the second overall pick in the NBA draft last spring he has to find his way onto the list. Personally, doubts started creeping in on this guy after Dejuan (I'm missing both ACLs) Blair absolutely owned him in a Big East showdown last year. Still, he is still very much a raw talent who will be given a chance to right the ship.

3. Scoonie Penn, Boston College - Scoonie get's thrown in the mix here for his time at Boston College before they left for the ACC and Scoonie left for Ohio State. This guy was a heck of a player in college and ended up not really putting together much of an NBA career. Teamed with Michael Reed on OSU, I thought Penn would be the better NBA players, which shows why I have no personnel responsibilities in the NBA. Won Big East Tourney MVP in 1997, eventually drafted by the Hawks but has spent most of his time playing for a variety of clubs overseas.

4. Brandin Knight, Pittsburgh - Another guard that was electric, the Co-Big East Player of the Year in 2002 Knight was a game changing player for Pittsburgh and it feels like he was the guy that helped get them on this prolonged run of success we have seen the Panther enjoy over most of this past decade. After college it was a few years in the D-League, some overseas action and now he is back coaching. The fact that big brother Brevin Knight who perhaps didn't have the NBA build was able to sustain a nice run in the NBA always kind of surprised me when Brandin wasn't able to hook on with a team.

5. Tim Thomas, Villanova - I read the book "7 Seconds" a few years back and it chronicled the Phoenix Suns for an entire season. Late in that season the Suns need Tim Thomas and it's mentioned that the coaches let TT know if he just turns it on for a few months they will help him find a nice contract in the off-season. Tim Thomas puts on a stellar run and that is all you need to know about him. A world of talent, great size, can shoot from deep, and spent just enough time on the Knicks to rile up that whole toughness episode with the New Jersey Nets. Was only in college briefly which tells you alot about his NBA expectations at the time.

6. Felipe Lopez, St. John's - Felipe Lopez's wikipedia page says it all, "Unrealistic expectations hounded López from the start, beginning with an appearance on the cover of Sports Illustrated before he even played one college game." Lopez still had a stellar freshman season putting up a little over 17ppg in attempting to be the latest savior for St. John's. He goes down as one of the greats of all-time for St. John's but it never translated for the NBA. Drafted in the first round by the Spurs he ultimately bounced around the league before ending up overseas.

7. Jason Lawson, Villanova - He was a power in the middle for Villanova in the late 90s, think the Kerry Kittls era. There isn't much on the net about him but going off memory he was a force and pretty much balanced out what Kittles was doing on the outside. From there he parlayed his Nova days into just one season in the NBA. Honestly my first thought here was Eddie Griffin of Seton Hall. Talk about talented, and hyped. Then he got into a fight with Ty Shine in the locker room, spent a short period in the NBA and sadly passed away not that long ago.

8. Troy Bell, Boston College - MVP of the 2001 Big East Tourney, another inclusion prior to Boston College leaving the Big East (why did they leave again?). Was named Big East Player of the Year over Carmelo Anthony and broke the BC record for scoring held by Dana Barros. So you get the idea, he was nasty in college. Drafted high by the Celtics at 16 overall, ended up doing most of his damage in the NBA with the Grizzlies. Tried to catch on with Hornets in 2005 and that was that.

9. Joe Alexander, West Virginia - We heard for a long time about his impressive hops, they are still there as far as I can tell. Alexander was a big contributor for the Mountaineers in the post Gansey-Pittsnogle era. The 8th overall pick of the draft in 2008 Alexander was picked by the Bucks and now is on the Bulls where he hasn't done a whole heck of alot. Somewhat in the same boat as Thabeet in that his career is still very early and he was sent down to the D-League, but there is time to get things turned around.

10. Terry Dehere, Seton Hall - Perhaps the best player Seton Hall had in the 1990s, Dehere was Big East Player of the Year and Tourney MVP in 1993. Holds a bunch of Pirate records including most points scored in a career but was then drafted by the Clippers, a bad omen for even the most talented. Strung together a six year career with stops in Sacramento and Vancouver before calling it a career. Averaged just 8 points per game over the course of his career.

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