The World According to Bill Walton (And What a Groovy World It Is)

Professor Bill Walton.

I may not agree with all of Bill Walton's politics, but I believe in 100% on his outlook on life. Getting to spend a half hour with him - along with a half dozen other bloggers the day before St. Pat's Day at the onset of the NCAA tournament - was nothing less than a blessing. His genuine, caring nature resonated resoundingly. As was his genuine love for Guinness - the ale he was pitching.

"With St. Patrick’s Day and a day of must-see basketball both taking place on March 17th this year, I can’t think of a better time to take a day off from work," said Walton. "It’s a day to step back, enjoy the important things in life with a perfectly poured pint of GUINNESS and take bold action. If you’re the type who plays it safe and is all about picking No. 1 seeds to go all the way in your bracket, this is not for you. But if you like making bold choices, perhaps we’ll raise a pint together at a sports bar on St. Patrick’s Day!"

However, as the day went on, his message became simpler, more authority-defying: "Go bold, quit your job, and chase your dreams."

While we were all willing to go along for the long, strange trip with him, I think John from Red's Army put it best, "It's kinda what I'm doing now. I shoulda asked Bill how to get PAID to do it.... I mean other than 'be a Hall of Fame baller.'"

Here's some highlights from the chat. I could transcribe everything, but I'd be doing you a disservice if I didn't let you hear Billy wax poetic in his own melodic tones.

Talking to Bill Walton about his favorite college player, Jimmer Fredette, invokes comparisons to (among others) Pete Maravich, Larry Bird, Danny Ainge and JJ Barea.



When asked if the First Four diluted the NCAA Tournament, Bill Walton supported the notion that more basketball means more opportunity for all. In the next breath, he criticized the NBA Players Association's misplaced priorities in not looking out for their own, but rather high schoolers who aren't even members of the union.

SLAM's Adam Figman, did a great job transcribing:

“More basketball! It means more money. More money, means more opportunities for other students, other sports, and the NCAA—I’m a big believer. I don’t think you should pay players; I think that’s a mistake. The value of a college scholarship—anybody in this room go to college? [Hands raise] Anybody in this room think this was a valuable experience and it helped you with your life? [Hands raise] Yes, so that’s the value that you get. It’s not about paying them money. Give value, but make the value be realistic. And have exceptions. Have exceptions for extreme cases. And make it worthwhile for the players to stay. The Player’s Association [and] the current players are making a huge mistake arguing for high school players to come into the League. The Union represents current players, and those jobs at the end of the line. That’s what the Union should be fighting for, as opposed to the guys who aren’t even in the Union. I’m for a rule that would have three years out of high school, or 21 years of age. Three years, or minimum 21 years of age. The NBA, that’s a man’s League. It’s adults. College is different; two totally different sports. And fantastic, unique and great in their respective ways.”

Walton on what he's learned from Coach Wooden, his parents, and his own fatherly advice:



If there are two individuals who shaped Walton's love of the game, it was Chick Hearn, the legendary Los Angeles play-by-play announcer, and one of the Laker foes Hearn called over the air, the Boston's Bill Russell.



Finally, hitting on who are real contenders this year, Walton sees the Celtics and Lakers, with whomever getting home-advantage coming out with the crown. He notes that with Chicago and Miami gunning for them, the Celtics will have a more difficult time than the Lakers who only need to fend off Dallas and San Antonio.

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The Cynic’s Guide to College Football, Week 12

Coming up is some of the greatest football of the year. No, I don’t necessarily mean good football (although the Texas Tech/Oklahoma game this weekend could fit the bill, especially if you like lots of offense and five hour games). I mean rivalry week—that one time of the year when, no matter how lousy your team is this year, you can claim “you can throw the records out the window” and still talk smack about your least favorite opponent. And speaking of which . . .

1. The Cynic’s Game of the Year is Here

Every team has that group of fans who claim, “We don’t care if we go 1-11, as long as that one is against insert name of rival school here.” Well, Washington fans are going to get a chance to prove it. Exactly how bad do you have to be to be an 8 ½ point underdog at home to an 0-10 team with a lame-duck coach? That’s exactly the situation for the deplorable 1-9 Washington State Huskies as they enter this week’s game against Washington and Tyrone Willingham.

And courtesy of a really screwed up TV contract, the entire country (yes, that means you) will be subjected able to watch this piece of garbage epic rivalry game.

Even the most ardent Apple Cup fans will find this one hard to swallow.

2. I’d Hate to See What the Losers Get

As I write this, Ball State just defeated Central Michigan 31-24. The Cardinals are now two games away from an undefeated season. Their likely reward? The Motor City Bowl.

On the plus side, between the Lions and the US auto industry, this may be the closest Detroit gets to seeing a winner for a looooooong time.

GM is a 22 ½ point underdog. I’d still give the points.

3. No Pressure Here

If Utah wins this week’s game against BYU, they are a near lock for a BCS bowl game.

Lose, and they’re likely headed to the Poinsettia Bowl.

The difference in payout? $17 million vs. $750,000.

That whimpering sound you hear coming from Provo is Utah’s athletic director curled up in a ball under his desk.

4. Steve Kragthorpe is a Godless Heathen

Picking a fight when the other team jumps on or otherwise disrespects your team logo at midfield is one thing. Picking a fight because the other team holds a pre-game prayer at midfield? Whole different ballgame.

God bless those pagans.

5. Living and Dying on Tulsa Time

Earlier in the season, I was extolling the virtues of Tulsa’s seemingly unstoppable offense and pondering their potential as a BCS buster. Yeah, I kinda got ahead of myself there. Two weeks ago, the Golden Hurricane lost to Arkansas (no real shame in a CUSA team losing to an SEC team, even with the whole Gus Malzahn subplot). But then this week they go and lose by 40 to Houston. Sure, the offense put up 501 yards (and I did learn they have a WR named Slick Shelley.) But they also had five turnovers. And TU’s defense? Um, yeah. The Cougars were up 42-17 at half and scored TDs on their first three possessions of the second before Houston coach Kevin Sumlin took his foot off the pedal (the Cougars only scored one offensive TD in the last quarter-and-a-half).

So let’s examine the timeline:

2008: UH beats TU by 40.

1988: UH hangs 82 on Tulsa in an 82-28 win.

1968: UH sets an FBS record for points against a major college opponent with 100-3 win over Tulsa in 1968.

Note to self: go to Vegas in 2028 and bet the farm on Houston.

6. I’ll Take “Message Board Posts I Wish I’d Written” for $1000, Alex

Bad football can sometimes lead to some really good writing (this blog may or may not be an example of that). This week saw one of the most inspired pieces of sports message board writing I’ve seen in some time. A Baylor fan posted a note on a Texas A&M message board letting Aggie fans know how to act now that they have replaced the Bears at the bottom of the Big 12 South hierarchy (side note: how bad do you have to be when you’re getting smack talked by Baylor? Yeesh.)

At any rate, the message was quickly deleted by the Aggie board admins but, thanks to the miracle of Google cache, a Houston blogger was able to repost the guide to being in last place. This is some good, good stuff and could be useful for lots of your various smack talk needs over the next couple of weeks.

Chapter 3: How ‘bout that Aggie lacrosse team?

Throw the Flag: Cynic’s Guide to College Football, Week 3

While USC and Oklahoma fans are busy checking flight and hotel plans for the national title game, Throw the Flag, HHR’s resident cynic is back to report on the uglier side of Week 3 in college football.

1. The Rise and Fall of Rick Neuheisel, Version 3.0

Calling it first to worst would be a stretch, but what in the wide, wide world of sports is going on at UCLA? Two weeks ago, they knock off Tennessee in a thriller and (a few) people are thinking, “Hey, maybe the USC monopoly really is over” (well, not really). But then the Bruins venture east to face a good BYU team. And proceed to have their worst loss in 75 years. BYU not only shut out the Bruins, but hung 59 on them, including an unreal 35-point second quarter. 59-0, and it could have been a lot worse as the Cougars pulled their starters and let off the throttle, mercifully not scoring in the fourth quarter.

So which is the real UCLA: the ones who rose up to slay the giants from the SEC? Or the ones who played more like blocking dummies against BYU? We shall see. But with upcoming games against Fresno St., @ Oregon, @ California, @ Arizona State and USC, I’m betting on the latter.

Image: guttylittlebruins.com

Not so fast, my friend.

2. A Game Only a Bama Fan Could Love

Don’t give me that “a win’s a win” garbage, Auburn fans. You’re supposedly the #9 team in the country, and you put up three points? On Mississippi State? And still get the win? True the Tigers/War Eagles defense was solid, giving up just 116 yards. But Auburn was pathetic (or turribull as Auburn alum Charles Barkley would say) in every other facet of the game. 12 penalties for 94 yards (one penalty gave Mississippi their only points when an offensive lineman was called for holding in the end zone, resulting in a safety). Three turnovers. 3 of 16 on third down conversions. Two missed field goals.

I’m a defense guy, but let’s not pretend this was an epic defensive struggle. This was one bad football team versus another team playing down to the level of its opponent.

Image: thewizofodds.com

After watching this game, I’d need a swig, too.

3. Rich Rodriguez is No Prince

In his treatise “The Prince,” the 16th century political philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli once asked whether it was better to be loved or feared. He said both, if you could pull it off. But if you had to pick one, it was better to be feared. Well, Michigan is now answering that same question with a resounding “none of the above.” Michigan is now facing a fate worse than death in the college football kingdom—irrelevance. If you think about teams that have dominated the college football landscape over the last couple of decades—Notre Dame, USC, Florida State, Miami, Oklahoma, Nebraska, etc.—there was very little middle ground when they were at the tops of their respective games. You either loved ‘em or you hated ‘em. Michigan used to be in that category but is precipitously sliding into the middle ranks of mediocrity and anonymity. As a practical matter, Michigan is simply no longer a player on the national stage—not really loved, hated or feared. Just kind of there. A year ago this time, they were a national laughing stock after losing at home to Appalachian State. To their credit, they rallied and had a very nice season. But this year appears to be very different. Not only do they not have the talent base they did last year, but Rich Rodriguez’ insistence on pounding square pegs into round holes seems unlikely to produce results in the near future.

During his post-Notre Dame press conference, Coach Rodriguez kept re-emphasizing “the sky is not falling” and “we’ll be back.” Not only do these words sound more like he’s trying to pep himself up, but the fact that someone from a program with the history of the University of Michigan has to even say such things shows just how far this program has fallen.


4. Where Have You Gone, Ryan Leaf?

I personally think it’s pretty cool that the Washington State alumni can get someone every week to stand in the back of the College Gameday crowd and wave a Cougars flag. If only their football team was so organized. After getting blown out 45-17 by Baylor (you know, Baylor? 13-43 since the creation of the Big 12 Baylor?), I don’t know that it can get much lower. They’re 0-3 and have lost by a combined total of 150-33. Ouch. This team is bad. Really bad. Fortunately, they have a date with Portland State this weekend that should let them get into the win column (although I wouldn’t bet the farm on it). After that, I don’t know if there’s another win on their schedule.

5. Don’t Want to Say I Told You So, But . . .

After their Week One loss to East Carolina, I wrote that Virginia Tech needed to find an offense and fast. Well, Frank Beamer didn’t listen to me. But now, courtesy of our colleagues at The Big Lead, comes news that apparently he’s listening to fan callers. And he’s none too happy about it. Apparently, Beamer got quite steamed during his weekly call-in show when a caller identified as “Jason in Arlington” dared to question the Hokies’ offensive coaching (audio here). He later went so far as to invite would-be offensive coaches to stop by his office in Blacksburg, saying, "If anyone can convince me they know more offense than [offensive coordinator] Bryan [Stinespring], I'm going to listen to them.” (Resumes can be faxed to 540-231-3060; please list “Offensive Coordinator” in the subject line.)

Through three games, the Hokies rank 107th in the nation in total offense (273 yards per game; behind such stalwarts as Army, North Texas and San Diego State) and 78th in scoring offense (22 points per game). The next two weeks they are on the road at North Carolina (39.5 ppg) and Nebraska (40 ppg). With the Hokies’ defense and special teams continuing to be solid, both games are certainly winnable. But with this offense, they could just as easily both turn into losses. Then listen to the radio callers.

And as for Jason in Arlington, he did what any self-respecting college football fan that got into a verbal sparring match with his team’s head coach would do: he started a blog.

6. A Rainy Night in Kansas

And to end on a more uplifting note: last Friday night, I was driving across Kansas on a miserably dark and rainy night. Fortunately, with the Kansas/South Florida game moved to Friday, I was able to find the radio broadcast on stations out of Wichita and Salina. In this era of pay-per-view, ESPN catchphrases and broadband internet feeds, the days of good radio play-by-play are slowly fading away. So I was pleasantly surprised with the quality of KU’s radio broadcast team. The play by play gave a good feel for the action. He was emotional and a KU homer, without being over the top, the way a good college play by play guy should be. (My only minor complaint was that he rarely talked about direction—it would be “so and so runs for four yards” or “pass complete at the 20” with nothing about running right or left, complete to the near or far side, etc.) And the color analyst was actually *gasp* insightful, with comments and analysis that actually helped understand what was going on in the game (instead of the current trend of such pithy analysis as, “Well, we had a chance to meet with so and so this week, and he told us that he likes asparagus.” Sorry I didn’t get their names, but kudos to the Jayhawk radio team nonetheless. They made a long, gray drive across the Kansas prairie a lot more enjoyable.

Until next week.

Throw the Flag: The Cynic’s Guide to College Football, Week 2

A late version of this week’s truths as, like many of you, I couldn’t bring myself to turn on my computer for fear that yet another of my fantasy football players would be injured. Anyway, on to this week’s trouble spots.

1. Ohio State—Taking the Easy Way Out

A week after feasting on in-state “rival” Youngstown State, the Buckeyes had another tune-up against in-state “team” Ohio Bobcats. You know, the ones playing with a backup QB who nobody knew his name because his afro covered up the name on his jersey. The ones who had five turnovers and yet were still leading by two with 14 minutes to go. Yeah, those Ohio Bobcats. Were the Buckeyes looking ahead to USC? Perhaps. Were they missing Beanie Wells (what kind of nickname is Beanie for a football player, anyway? Sounds more like a trust fund baby frat boy in the Ivy League)? Sure. But, dude, you’re still Ohio State. You shouldn’t be letting your little brothers hang around with you like that. It’s embarrassing for both of us. Take that game with you to LA this week and see how it works out for you. On the plus side, you won’t have to worry about getting whipped in the BCS title game by an SEC team again.

2. You Don’t Mess Around with Jim (or Mack)

Will someone please explain to me why some pissant little schools seem bound and determined to have themselves throttled into oblivion by the Texas Longhorns? Two weeks ago, Howard “water is for the weak” Schnellenberger decided it’d be a good idea to call Texas “soft” the week before his Florida Atlantic Owls took on the Horns. 52-10 later, Schnellenberger crawled back onto the team bus and, most likely, into a bottle. Then this week, Texas ventured to the wild environs of border town El Paso for a game against the UTEP Miners. Now let’s get this straight—you are UTEP. That’s University of Texas at El Paso. You are not in the same area code, social circle or tax bracket of the Longhorns. And yet, for some inexplicable reason, the Miners administration wasn’t content to call it Texas vs. UTEP. Nooooo, in all the pre-game hoopla coming out from their athletic department, UTEP insisted on referring to the tilt as “UTEP vs. UT Austin,” as if the game was some kind of meeting of equals. Little hint: it wasn’t (42-13).

Twisting your opponent’s name can be fun if you’re rivals or on a somewhat level playing field (Oklahoma fans like referring to the University of Texas as TU just to watch Horns’ fans faces turn Sooner crimson). But as the song says, “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind.” And while I’m not saying Mack Brown is Superman (more like Robin to Bob Stoops’ Batman, although I don’t want to see either one in spandex), it’s still generally not wise to call down the thunder upon yourself.


3. This Just In: Bo Pelini is Not God

Let’s get one thing straight—the national media types don’t know the first thing about football fans. I mean, they’re the same ones who can use the words “Rutgers,” “football” and “tradition” in the same sentence without giggling. So when you hear some east coast media type saying, “Nebraska fans expect to win championships and win them now,” know that the closest he’s been to Nebraska is 30,000 feet and likely couldn’t find the place with an atlas, two energy bars and a corn detector (note to self: invent corn detector). Husker fans are some of the most knowledgeable ones out there—they’re not naïve enough to think that the Bill Callahan era can be undone in two games. Yes, they certainly want to get back to the championship level. But in 2008 what they want to see is hard work, coaching adjustments and improvement.

Well, two out of three ain’t bad. Most observers I’ve talked to say the effort is definitely there, with many mistakes coming as a result of being too aggressive (e.g. over pursuing a running play, late hit, etc.). And Lord knows the defensive coaching in Huskerland is a step or twelve up from last year. But the Huskers escape over San Jose St. (won 35-12.; Huskers led just 14-12 with 12:08 to go) was, to use the real estate parlance, “a unique fixer upper opportunity.” The Huskers had more penalty (103) than rushing yards (99) and were outyarded by San Jose St. 353 to 315. At one point, they had three consecutive false start penalties. Yes, the Cornhuskers took a step backward against San Jose State. I still think Bo will get the Huskers turned around and return them to their glory days. But Husker fans are going to have some patience with this team.

4. Rules are Rules and are Meant to be Broken. Or Something Like That.

Which is worse—bad rules in college football? Or fans who incessantly whine about the bad rules when a violation of one hurts their team? Much has been written about the excessive celebration penalty against Washington QB Jake Locker in the closing seconds of the Huskies’ loss to BYU. I won’t get into the sense (or lack thereof) of the NCAA’s excessive celebration rule. But it’s on the books—fans should know about it, Jake Locker should know about it and Ty Willingham should definitely know about it. So don’t whine about the rule or blame the refs who enforced it. Don’t make excuses like, “Oh, he just flipped it over his shoulder” (that ball had more hang time than some punts on Saturday). Just suck it up and point the finger where it belongs--blame your special teams who allowed the ensuing PAT to be blocked.

Here’s hoping for a better Week 3. But I’m not holding my breath.

Jim McMahon's Real Talent

Despite his gaudy statistics at BYU and Super Bowl Championship with the Chicago Bears, Jim McMahon was most known around football circles for his ability to clear a bathroom.