The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Week 9

First off, I apologize for not getting a review post done last week—we had some family friends with a medical situation, so I just wasn’t around enough to write one. Hope you can forgive me and, fortunately, everything is all better now so I can get back to thinking about football.

Last weekend, I went to visit my parents in Dallas. Didn’t have anything else going on, so I decided to make the trip down to Waco for the Nebraska/Baylor game. The game itself, a 20-10 Cornhusker win, wasn’t much to write home about but it made me think just how much things can change during the course of a football season. Just a few weeks ago, Nebraska’s offense actually looked competent, Baylor phenom QB Robert Griffin was healthy and this looked like it could have been a good game. Since then, Griffin’s knee went kaput and Nebraska’s offense never met a turnover it didn’t like.

The Nebraska offense’s team bus arrives at the stadium.

The same is true on the national scene—at the start of the season, it looked like we could have an epic championship race with Florida, Texas and Oklahoma all returning their star QBs. But injuries and sloppy play have taken their toll. Honestly, is there anyone this year that you would consider a truly great team? Sure, those three plus Alabama, TCU, Boise State, Oregon are all playing some good football. But will whoever wins ever be mentioned in the same breath as great teams of the past? Not likely. Anyway, on to my review of other bad football from the past couple of weeks.

Fading Reds

Speaking of the Cornhuskers, this Saturday’s Oklahoma/Nebraska game marks just the second time since 1969 when neither team was ranked in the top 15. While I understand that money rules college football and that’s why the Big 12 exists, I’m still saddened by the fading of this once-great rivalry. Growing up, Oklahoma/Nebraska was a Thanksgiving tradition between two great powerhouses. Now, it’s just another game. Sigh.

The Game of the Century. Gone but not forgotten.

Throw the Flag. Or Not.

You know things are bad when fans and the media spend more time complaining about SEC officiating than preaching the gospel according to Tebow. Is it just me or has officiating across the country been terrible this year? Not just on judgment calls like pass interference or personal fouls, but on truly bad calls that were either made incorrectly (balls not crossing the goal line) or not called (outrageous personal fouls that go unflagged). And then they review every other play. And they STILL don’t get calls right. There’s been a lot of focus on SEC refs and officials taking 14 points away from Indiana based on dubious (to put it mildly) calls vs. Iowa, but the bad officiating has been equal opportunity this year.

Think you could do better?

Justice is Served

Let’s see: Dez Bryant tells a lie and is banned from football for a year. Brandon Spikes tries to gouge someone’s eyes out and he has to sit out one half one game. Against Vanderbilt. Am I missing something here?

Could be worse. He could have been punished by having to play FOR Vanderbilt.

Pick Your Poison

Worst Division in Football: ACC Atlantic vs. Big 12 North. Discuss.

Hail to the . . . um, Whatever

Rich Rodriguez’s trip off the hot seat was short-lived. It’s amazing what losses to your in-state rival and a previously 1-6 team will do to erase memories over your 4-0 start.

Give Coach Rod credit: it’s not easy making Ron Zook look good.

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The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Tailgating Epidemic in Waco

Overheard from the tailgater behind me as she passed out plastic shot glasses: "We used to just drink straight out of the bottle, but with this damn H1N1 . . ."

Now that's a pandemic.

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The Cynic’s Guide to College Football, Week 12

Coming up is some of the greatest football of the year. No, I don’t necessarily mean good football (although the Texas Tech/Oklahoma game this weekend could fit the bill, especially if you like lots of offense and five hour games). I mean rivalry week—that one time of the year when, no matter how lousy your team is this year, you can claim “you can throw the records out the window” and still talk smack about your least favorite opponent. And speaking of which . . .

1. The Cynic’s Game of the Year is Here

Every team has that group of fans who claim, “We don’t care if we go 1-11, as long as that one is against insert name of rival school here.” Well, Washington fans are going to get a chance to prove it. Exactly how bad do you have to be to be an 8 ½ point underdog at home to an 0-10 team with a lame-duck coach? That’s exactly the situation for the deplorable 1-9 Washington State Huskies as they enter this week’s game against Washington and Tyrone Willingham.

And courtesy of a really screwed up TV contract, the entire country (yes, that means you) will be subjected able to watch this piece of garbage epic rivalry game.

Even the most ardent Apple Cup fans will find this one hard to swallow.

2. I’d Hate to See What the Losers Get

As I write this, Ball State just defeated Central Michigan 31-24. The Cardinals are now two games away from an undefeated season. Their likely reward? The Motor City Bowl.

On the plus side, between the Lions and the US auto industry, this may be the closest Detroit gets to seeing a winner for a looooooong time.

GM is a 22 ½ point underdog. I’d still give the points.

3. No Pressure Here

If Utah wins this week’s game against BYU, they are a near lock for a BCS bowl game.

Lose, and they’re likely headed to the Poinsettia Bowl.

The difference in payout? $17 million vs. $750,000.

That whimpering sound you hear coming from Provo is Utah’s athletic director curled up in a ball under his desk.

4. Steve Kragthorpe is a Godless Heathen

Picking a fight when the other team jumps on or otherwise disrespects your team logo at midfield is one thing. Picking a fight because the other team holds a pre-game prayer at midfield? Whole different ballgame.

God bless those pagans.

5. Living and Dying on Tulsa Time

Earlier in the season, I was extolling the virtues of Tulsa’s seemingly unstoppable offense and pondering their potential as a BCS buster. Yeah, I kinda got ahead of myself there. Two weeks ago, the Golden Hurricane lost to Arkansas (no real shame in a CUSA team losing to an SEC team, even with the whole Gus Malzahn subplot). But then this week they go and lose by 40 to Houston. Sure, the offense put up 501 yards (and I did learn they have a WR named Slick Shelley.) But they also had five turnovers. And TU’s defense? Um, yeah. The Cougars were up 42-17 at half and scored TDs on their first three possessions of the second before Houston coach Kevin Sumlin took his foot off the pedal (the Cougars only scored one offensive TD in the last quarter-and-a-half).

So let’s examine the timeline:

2008: UH beats TU by 40.

1988: UH hangs 82 on Tulsa in an 82-28 win.

1968: UH sets an FBS record for points against a major college opponent with 100-3 win over Tulsa in 1968.

Note to self: go to Vegas in 2028 and bet the farm on Houston.

6. I’ll Take “Message Board Posts I Wish I’d Written” for $1000, Alex

Bad football can sometimes lead to some really good writing (this blog may or may not be an example of that). This week saw one of the most inspired pieces of sports message board writing I’ve seen in some time. A Baylor fan posted a note on a Texas A&M message board letting Aggie fans know how to act now that they have replaced the Bears at the bottom of the Big 12 South hierarchy (side note: how bad do you have to be when you’re getting smack talked by Baylor? Yeesh.)

At any rate, the message was quickly deleted by the Aggie board admins but, thanks to the miracle of Google cache, a Houston blogger was able to repost the guide to being in last place. This is some good, good stuff and could be useful for lots of your various smack talk needs over the next couple of weeks.

Chapter 3: How ‘bout that Aggie lacrosse team?

A&M/Baylor Duke it Out

While I usually reserve NCAA commentary to Rev and Rusty, it's March, so even us casual fans' interest is peaked. The Deuce put on a doozy last night between in-state rivals Texas A&M and Baylor, who earlier this year engaged in a five-overtime classic. While this game lacked the competitive battle, there was no love loss between the teams. And the Baptist Waco fans showered the court with screams and seat cushions.

The following hard screen on Josh Carter nearly caused a bench clearing brawl and and a Texas-sized riot, and ended with double T's.



As if the hard play throughout the game didn't stoke enough fire, the final play of the game was a salt-in-the-wounds highlight dunk by Donald Sloan.