Showing posts with label tailgating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tailgating. Show all posts

Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Tailgating Epidemic in Waco


Overheard from the tailgater behind me as she passed out plastic shot glasses: "We used to just drink straight out of the bottle, but with this damn H1N1 . . ."

Now that's a pandemic.


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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Brady Quinn is Dreamy Even When Airbrushed

From my friend Katie:

Hey what's ur email? I found a pic w my friends shirt w the airbrushed brady face one it. Also of muni lot and a mullet!

This is the Tshirt I was telling you about and the AMAZING muni lot of cleveland oh!

You're welcome, boys. Anonymity is on me.


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Monday, December 1, 2008

Winner of Pats v Steelers is My Stomach

Yesterday, my buddy Dave and I headed to the one and only Pats game either of us will make all year. It is an annual tradition of sorts that I go to a game with Dave where it rains and our team loses. However at least time Father Time was on our side, as the Pats didn't start until 4. That gave us an extra three hours of tailgating, where I assure you no member of the animal kingdom was spared. Here's a quick overview of the tailgate: 3 tents, 1 TV, 2 tables, 2 grills, 1 open fire pit, 1 deep fryer, lots of free booze and beer, and several jealous looks from wet dudes who were pissed that the guy who showed up in a Prius was eating a leg of lamb right off the fire.

As for the menu: One whole deep fried turkey, Chili, Leg of Lamb, Spicy Lamb chops, Burgers with eggs and hot sauce on top), Chicken Wings (1/2 hot wings, 1/2 bbq), and a every kind of drink you can imagine.

Or you could just pass all this up and go to Legal Sea Foods. Yeah. I'll get right on that.

The Essentials of a Tailgate. Notice what's not there?
Money. That's because I'm broke now.

Filling up the fryer for deep frying everything.


The Turkey's last meal request was for a shot of Captain.

It seems no matter where I am, I cannot escape women in
golf carts trying to tell me that my Boston Beef is the winner.


Chicken on the grill. Side Note: Pam "Grilling?"
We are a nation of idiotic consumers


So Fried. So very very fried.

I really love these large walk in bathrooms.


Some folks were not as lucky and made make shift tents

R.I.P.
Piece of Shit Tent
2008-2008


Our walk from the tailgate lot to the stadium
requires you to walk through a train.

Bizarre.

But the other side is pretty sweet.

Finally, we're in.

Some guy named Dennis was listing a little to his right.


Second row seats. Great for watching certain kick returners
drop the ball at the 8 yard line.

Margaritas. $1 more than a beer and a hell of a lot stronger.
Or you can go to Dunkins. Note: That food review makes me
angrier and angrier every time I read it.


I am not sure why, when, or how I took a picture from the men's room.
I blame the margaritas.


I want to know who the Cheer-tator is for this squad who makes the Cheer-cisions about donning hats and track suits. What a bunch of cheer-shit.

They failed to notice my Pheeeeel Seeeeeems sign.

If you ask how much of a colassal douchebag your
average Steeler fan is, Pat Patriot has the answer.

1/4 pounder. No idea how much this cost. But according to the wet, rumpled ones and fiver I found in my pocket later, two of them cost less than $15 dollars. So that's good, right?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Friday, July 25, 2008

Taligating just got more better


I love tailgating except for the bathroom situation. I have some 'turding in public issues' that I am working on with my therapist.

A long day of beer drinking and barbeque plus long lines at the Johnny-on-the-Spot can make for some urgent bathroom situations. That's why the Brown Corporation (punny) developed the Shit Box.

Shit Box is a lightweight portable cardboard toilet made specifically for outdoor use. The box pops up from a convenient 14 inch flat pack to a rigid, reusable, comfortable toilet. Each box comes with ten degradable poo bags.

So many words in that product description frighten me to the core.

...made specifically for outdoor use. (This is directed at trailer dwellers and Alabama fans. Outdoor use only.)
...reusable (Unless someone in your crew clocks in at over three bills. Chances are one of you does.)
...ten degradable poo bags (perfect for launching at opposing fans tailgating three rows down.)

What makes this different than a typical box from Staples? The silly little logo of(funny name alert!) Jack Shit on the side and it's $30 price tag.

Where you going to find the privacy in a parking lot full of drunk football fans to use this little gadget?

Beats the shit out of me. Give me enough beer I'll do it my pants. This is also something I am working on in therapy.