Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Week 6

We're right about at the halfway point of the season. Some things we know (Oregon is good. The Pistol is football's newest craze. Les Miles has replaced Nick Saban as Satan's pet project). Some things we don't (How will Taylor Martinez fare against stronger competition? Is Ohio State really the #1 team in the nation? How bad will things get for Penn State? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?). But things are definitely getting interesting. With Alabama proving to be mortal after all, the national championship race is as wide open as I can remember. You could make a pretty good case for any one of 8 or 9 different schools winning it all. We've got a bunch of really good teams, but none that are without their faults. So buckle up everyone. The next few weeks could be a wild ride. Now on to this week's observations.

You Suck. Yeah, You.
I don't care how much you can bench, how many Monster energy drinks you can chug or how many Affliction shirts you own. Unless you've lost a body part during a game-and stayed in the game-you are a great big steaming pile of pansiness compared to Virginia Tech OL Greg Nosal.

Game tape of Nolan in action.

Now That's Motivation
By now, everybody knows that New Mexico State football is really bad. But, on the plus side, the Aggie players still had the luxury of being football players, with all the girls, parties and other perks that went along with that stature. Until now. As Sports by Brooks alerted us last week, an unnamed person or persons distributed thousands of NSFW flyers around the NMSU campus, urging the local co-eds not to engage in, um, extracurricular activities with any of the football players until they won a game. (As the flyer so eloquently put it, "Once you score a win, then you can get it in.")

Crude though it might have been, the extra motivation apparently worked, as the Aggies snapped their 11-game losing streak with a 16-14 win over in-state rival (if you can call an 0-6 team who's even worse than you that) New Mexico.

I'm guessing Coach Walker's postgame press conference wasn't the highlight of the celebration.

New Math
Les Miles is 49% football genius and 51% bats*%t insane. Or vice versa. Depending on the week.

"Les, did you remember to take your meds today?"

When the Lawyers Win, We All Lose
Earlier in the week, the U. of Texas Athletic Department cracked down on an internet company that was selling Nebraska-themed shirts with the famed Longhorn logo upside down in preparation for this week's grudge match between the Huskers and the 'Horns. (FYI: Texas made over $10 million in royalties off of the Longhorn logo last year. I've always wondered how much of that came from Oklahoma fans who bought the Texas logo just to put it upside down. Never made sense to me. You do know you're aiding your enemy, right? OK, moving on.) But it raised a bigger question: shouldn't the makers of Angry Birds be paying royalties to Ball State?

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

No comments: