Old Phillies Fan's Carpet Doesn't Match the Drapes

C'Mon, cuz. If you're gonna rock the full uni during Game 1 of the NLDS, at least match up homes with aways.

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Honeymoon in Cleveland

There are few things I love receiving more on this site than photos of Browns fans tailgating, be it making fun of Braylon Edwards, idolizing Brady Quinn, or celebrating one's nuptials.

These two got married yesterday...no lie.

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Phillies Fans Are #1...in Something Worth Being #1

When GQ mailed it in last week with a their "Worst Sports Fans in America" piece and named Phillies and Eagles fans 1 and 2, respectfully, they predictably went the "Hey! They booed Santa Claus!" route.

What was lost in the piece was the reason the fans care enough to boo. And I could rehash any number of reasons Philly fans are great, but then I'd be as unscientific as Gentleman's Quarterly.

Thankfully someone did some real research, and lo and behold! Phillies fans come out on top among MLB teams in Fan Loyalty.

From Bloomberg:

The Philadelphia Phillies have the most loyal fans in Major League Baseball, surpassing the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox, a survey found...

New York-based Brand Keys Inc. compiled the 19th annual Sports Loyalty Index by surveying 250 fans in each team’s market and assessing the data based on factors driven by on-field success, fan bonding with players and the franchise’s history and tradition. A club’s effort and sense of teamwork also can have an effect.

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Drunk Browns Fans and a Vat of Hot Oil...

What could possibly go wrong?

Welcome Home, Braylon...You Drunkard.

Game on. 8:30 in the AM and the Braylon Edwards Welcome Wagon is in full affect.

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The Most Cringe-Inducing Moment of the Eagles-Falcons Game

Was not the near-decapitation of Desean Jackson, but rather the shot of this fan...

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The People in My Section

This is right up our alley and reminded us of our semi-frequent scavenger hunts.

From the good folks at It's About the Money:

"The people in my section"

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Blogs With Balls Radio, Episode 17

This week’s Blogs With Balls Show on the JoeSportsFan Radio Network is now available.

Download Episode 17 Here.

This week we focus on sports fans and are joined by not one, but two very special guests.

First, we talk with Hollywood royalty - actor Scott Caan, son of James and admittedly most known for his roll as Tweeder in Varsity Blues. (This is actually the second person from the film we have had on the show, having talked with director Mike Tollin back in October).

Scott is one of the official spokespeople for Monster.com's NFL Fandemonium initiative.

For the second year, "Monster and the NFL have teamed to find the DOF, this year expanding the promotion to allow fans to participate in deciding who becomes the next Director of Fandemonium. The DOF promotion inspires the most zealous football fans to compete for the dream “job” of serving as a fan ambassador for Monster and the NFL with special access at a series of marquee events throughout the 2010 NFL season."

The events in which the new DOF will have the opportunity to play a key role include:

• NFL Draft: Announce a pick at the 2010 NFL Draft (April 2010)
• NFL Kickoff: Act as backstage talent wrangler at the 2010 NFL Kickoff concert (September 2010)
• NFL International Series: Participate in on-field introductions at the 2010 International Series Game (October 2010)
• NFL Thanksgiving: Serve as an on-field broadcast liaison for the NFL Network 2010 Thanksgiving Game (November 2010)
• NFL Super Bowl: Join the coin toss ceremony at Super Bowl XLV (February 2011)
• NFL Pro Bowl: Select a play from the sidelines during the 2010 Pro Bowl (January/February 2011)
• Publish blog posts on NFL.com and meet with top NFL executives

You can vote for the DOF by clicking here.

We talk with Scott about his involvement with the program, his career and his own athletic upbringing.

Next we are joined by former Clinton White House, Congress staffer David Goodfriend who heads up the bi-partisan sports fan advocacy group, Sports Fan Coalition (SFC). The SFC is the American sports fan’s advocate in the Washington, D.C. public policy arena and around the country for a fair return to the fans for public resources used in sports; and fair access to sporting events at the game and in the media.

With David we talk about how and why it started, what its focus is, and who is it comprised of. We also discuss specific issues the coalition is addressing including the Comcast/NBC merger and blackouts, specifically in regard to how these things directly affect fan and whether the Coalition (as an extension of fans themselves) have real power in affecting the outcome of business decisions and public policy.

Goodfriend is also co-host of "Left Jab" on XM Satellite Radio and was a co-founder and EVP/General Counsel of Air America Radio.

This week's links of interest:

• NFL Department of Fandemonium
  
• @monsterdof
  
• Scott Caan IMDB
  
• Dallas 362
• Jim: The Author's Self-centered Memoir on the Great Jim Brown (James Toback)
• Sports Fan Coalition
  
• @givefansavoice
  
• Sports Fan Coalition Is An Actual Thing Now (Deadspin)
  
• Left Jab Radio
  

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DeSean Jackson Fan Not Pleased with Announcing Effort by Collinsworth & Michaels

As if watching your team get shellacked for the second consecutive week by the Cowboys weren't bad enough, not even Bud 40s and pantomime masturbation could help this young man stomach the sound of Cris Collinsworth and Al Michaels.

It's actually heartbreaking how defeated he looks at the end.

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Waiting For Godunk: 'Tis the Season

My name is Kevin Owens and I have been playing professional basketball for the past six years. I decided to start a blog documenting my daily life. I have a degree in journalism and haven't written anything since college, so I figured why not. I don't particularly think I am that interesting, however when telling people about the traveling circus that is my life, they seem very entertained. I'll be contributing some of those stories once a week here at HHR. You can also now catch me on Twitter @Waiting4Godunk. Hope you enjoy!

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Another Christmas has come and gone and I am happy it’s over. During this season I have a difficult time saying no to Christmas cookies. Thankfully I am back to my regular grueling workout routine. I actually stepped it up so that I can get rid of all the Sam Adams and wine I drank this past week. I really do love Christmas, I just don’t like being at home and jobless while others are sacrificing for the game. Like Thanksgiving, this is a holiday usually not spent with family.

My first Christmas in the D-League was spent in a hotel in Fayetteville, NC. I remember walking across the street to a gas station to get my “Christmas dinner,” and seeing a group of joyful people stopping for gas en route to a party…I never despised anyone more. They were off to hang out with their loved ones while I heated up a day old burrito in the microwave.

Although I would rather be playing during this holiday season, I did enjoy my time at home. I was around my family and saw the excitement on my nieces and nephews’ faces when they opened their gifts. I also had an eye-opening story told to me by my sister.

She told us how her friend’s six year old son received Philadelphia Eagles tickets for an early Christmas present. During warm-ups they walked down to the field to watch as the players went into the locker room. Eagles wide receiver Desean Jackson walked passed, looked into the stands, and tossed a ball to the boy. Already an enormous Eagles fan, his day was made. He spent the remainder of the game talking about how amazing Desean Jackson is. He now spends every night tucked away in bed with his new prized possession.

This is something that is fairly common in sports. A player tosses a ball or an accessory into the crowd. A young fan catches the item and cherishes it for the remainder of his life. How often do athletes realize how much their otherwise insignificant gesture changes the life of someone else? Desean Jackson will be a hero to this boy for years to come.

I had a moment like that when I was in high school. Growing up I was a huge Boomer Esiason fan. (Unfortunately during the mid 80’s the struggling Eagles did not give me the hero I was looking for.) Even though I watched the Eagles every Sunday, I still checked the paper the next day to find out how Boomer did. I continued to follow his career after he left the Bengals for NY, and then when he moved to Arizona, and again back to Cincinnati.

During his time with New York my brother was being recruited heavily by Hofstra University, which happened to be where the Jets held training camp. We took a drive up one late summer’s day to visit the school. While walking through the training room I came face to face with my idol. I couldn’t speak; I just stared in disbelief. I finally mustered up some embarrassing greeting and handed him the Esiason jersey I was currently wearing to be signed. To this day that jersey hangs on the wall of my office. Boomer never knew how life changing that day was to me. It was a chance to meet my childhood hero.

Now I never had as many fans as Desean or Boomer…and yes I did pluralize fan…but I think about all the times after a game in which I threw a wristband into the crowd or shook a youngster’s hand. How much of an impact did I make in their lives? My friend Seth Doliboa and I had a young fan in Roanoke that invited us to his birthday party. Since we made little money, we decided to head over for a chance to make his day and for a free meal. He was ecstatic. I am sure he bragged to all his friends in school about how two of the Dazzle players came to his birthday party.


After winning the championship last year in Kosovo, I had slightly more demanding fans. After every season of my professional career it has become a custom to either graciously accept, or steal my playing jersey. I keep them in my closet so that one day when I am limping around the house, I can show my children that my knees used to work properly.

After the clinching game I was swarmed by fans asking for my jersey…and by fans I mean several middle aged men. I declined, telling them that I bring my jerseys home to show my wife. That did not seem to register. The asking soon turned into demanding. I made it back to the locker room with my jersey, only to be followed by the angry persistent fans. Apparently demanding was going to soon cross into petty theft. I figured if I wanted to hold onto this jersey it was coming into the shower with me. Now that jersey hangs in my closet next to all the others…a proud symbol of my patience and resourcefulness.

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Fan for Sale: Convince @ChrisIlluminati to Root for Your NBA Team, Win NBA League Pass Broadband

First it was the Celtics. Until I realized as a Yankees fan that the same people that rooted for Bird were also part of the "Nation" and I'd be kicked out of my house if my father found out I liked anything Boston that didn't end in "baked beans." Next came the Magic-led Lakers until he kissed Isiah Thomas and my friends said I liked a team full of "marys." Of course, the thought of associated with anything gay (besides my velcro sneakers) will turn off a kid in 6th grade so I jumped around from team to team for the next fifeteen plus years.

Shaq and Scott Skiles because of the arcade game NBA Jam.

The Timberwolves during the early days of KG, D. West (I still don't know his first name), pre-homicidal Starbury and NBA Live 98'.

Back to the Lakers with Shaq and Mamba.

Bounced around to the Mavs, Kings, and the Nets for a brief moment, but only because I'm from Jersey.

The point is I've never had a real vesting interest in an NBA Franchise. I've never really had an interest in basketball - which is ABSURD for a 5'6 white kid with the vertical jump of a titmouse.

I need an NBA team. This has to change for several reasons.

1. I'm married with pregger wife and need SOME type of sports excuse to click away from the Real Housewives of Atlanta. The baseball playoffs saved my ass from a fall of Project Runway.
2. Almost everyone I follow on Twitter watches and tweets and all I can do is laugh and make out of date Charles Barkley jokes. Oh Bork.
3. The Sports Guy has a 700 page anvil of a book about the NBA on the best-seller list. I don't want to read it but if a book can beat out anything the Harpo Army is peddling there must be a ton of fans that find this basketball shit interesting.

So what does this mean to the HHR reader? It's simple. Make me like your team. Woo me. Dazzle me. Show me your goods (put your zipper back up this is a family website).

What do you get out of all this? How about a Full Year Subscription of NBA LEAGUE PASS Broadband.

Shoot an email to huggingharoldreynolds(at)gmail(dot)com with the subject: "Chris, you are a ______ fan now" and convince me to wear your team colors, or shoot something in the comments section.

Deadline: Wednesday, November 11, 5PM.

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Nationally and locally televised games are subject to blackout and are therefore not available via NBA LEAGUE PASS BROADBAND (regardless of whether team is home or away).

This contest is for US participants only. By entering the sweepstakes you agree to release Sponsor, the NBA Entities, HuggingHaroldReynolds.com and their respective affiliates and agencies from any and all liabilities for injuries, damages or losses of any kind to in connection with the sweepstakes, prize or any prize-related activity.

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Chris Illuminati fancies himself some type of authority on things. He is actually an asshole. So much so he wrote a book.

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5 Caught Stealing Beer Fart and Blood-Stained Stadium Seats

Around 3 AM last night, 5 men between the ages of 18-19 broke into Lincoln Financial Field and unbolted a seat "from Section 108 (possibly Row 30, Seat 1)" and a five-foot sign from a souvenir stand.

All five were arrested and "appeared to be sober."

This reminds me of witnessing a guy with an allen wrench trying to unbolt a seat during the last regular-season Eagles game at the Vet. When I reminded him that the team would be hosting playoff games there, and the Phillies still had a season to play, he threatened to bash my skull in with said wrench for being a "meddler."

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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

THAT's RIGHT! REDSKINS!

Laron Landry 3-0 F'n these bitches up!

Why this is online, and how I found it are beyond me.



But little did I know that these broads also have some athletic talent to go along with their ear-shattering fan cackling. They are "Flip Cup Champs" to boot.

Pruf E-A-G-L-E-S Phans Onley No Hau Tu Spel 1 Wurd Rite

English Fail Blog via 9 to Fried.

Cubbie Chaser: Exile in Phils-ville

This is for all you sports fans out there who moved away to another city and know the suffering that can come when you dare to spread your wings.

Maybe you rooted like hell for the Mets all your life, but you found a good job in Atlanta in 1990 and had to watch the Braves and their lukewarm fan base dominate the entire decade. Maybe you're a rabid cheesehead from Green Bay, but you went to college in Texas and had to listen to "America's Team this," "Greatest Team Ever that," for four agonizing years. Maybe you got transferred to Boston...from anywhere outside New England.

Or maybe you're a die-hard Cubs fan, nursing wounds that have wounds that have wounds, and through marriage, you settled in Philadelphia. And there you are, right now, with the big "Red October" wave ready to drown you. The Phillies are going to win the World Series.

You have to know how much that hurts.

You try to lay low, but you can't escape feeling like a sad, lonely outsider. You're the only adult in the room not covered head to toe in candy-striped polyester jerseys and National League Championship tee shirts so new you can still smell the Modell's clerk's rank cologne. You're the only one not gabbing about your plans to hit McFadden's at the Ballpark tonight, just to be part of the scene when IT FINALLY HAPPENS! You're the only one who thinks Bud Selig acted out of genuine administrative responsibility -- and not an evil conspiracy to screw the Phillies -- when he decided to suspend Game 5 in the sixth inning. You're the one happily admiring the snow as it falls outside your office window -- snow that will ultimately force Game 5 Postponement, Part 2 -- because it's so much better than watching endless inane Phillies reports on local TV news ("Today at 5, meet the team's newest fans, just-born twins Chase and Cole!")

This must be how non-sports fans feel when a team from their town makes it big.

Well, actually, what I've learned over the past few weeks in Philly is that non-sports fans jump on the bandwagon with both feet. Suddenly, folks who a few weeks ago wanted to debate you that baseball wasn't a sport because the players "don't run enough" (true story) are bouncing up and down and asking you why you're not excited, oh my God isn't this exciting, come on you have to be excited!

Excited? Really? When the team you live and die with has just pulled your heart out and stomped on it for the 30th time in your 30 years on Earth -- perhaps more painfully this time than ever before -- nothing short of a time machine and magic pixie dust would get you excited.


It's hard not to be bitter in times like these. You try to put on your best face, not be outwardly hostile to people who've done nothing to deserve your wrath. OK, well, if we're talking about Philadelphia, that's a little different. You're not apt to wish success on those who've leaned over and yelled in your face, "Go back to your F-ing city," again and again, year after year. You're not apt to wish success on those who, according to reports this week in the St. Petersburg Times, curse at and pour beer on children wearing Rays gear.

In fact, when those people find success, it makes your lack of success all the more depressing. You find yourself feeling jealous of people you'd never really want to be, and that...sucks.

So that's where we are, dear displaced sports fans. It's going to be a long, hard winter.

The Stars Were Aligned

Last night, I took in my first MLB postseason game. Needless to say, it was among the most exciting games of my life - for many reasons other than just the outcome.

As a lifelong Phillies fan, I haven't always had much to cheer about. Last night Citizens Bank Park was electric.

Allow me to share some sights, sounds and impressions of the game...

I knew I was in for something special when I was greeted pre-game by this man:

Some questioned the decision to have Mitch Williams throw out the first pitch in Game 1. No such doubt last night as Harry Kalas did the honors for Game 2.

Not all is positive in Philsville, however. Mrs. Werth seems to have lost a step since we last saw her.

Jessica Biel made her pitch for fans to "Stand Up To Cancer."

The drunk businessmen around me (pounding Jack & Cokes) were torn and complexed by her.

As Jessica encourgaed everyone to "Stand up":

(While firmly planted in his seat): "I'm already up, baby."

(When Biel asked for them to take out their cell phones): "Gimme the digits, honey."

(When Biel asked them to text to give a $5 donation to "Stand Up To Cancer"): "$5? Yeah that ain't happening."

Clearly, it would have cost him a half a plastic cup of diluted hard liquor.

A man near us had the Spirit of '80 on his mind (and his back).


Name: Michael Jack Smith
Jacket: 1980
Haircut: 1980
Mustache: 1980
Favorite Ballpark Food: The Schmitter

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Finally, let's get to brass tax. Phillie fans are constantly dogged about their negativity toward the team and its players.

Fittingly, Brett Myers, posterboy for player inconsistency, was the starter last night. With his near-blowup in the top of the first, you could hear fans hanging on to every pitch he made. Collective groans echoed throughout the stadium. There was an undercurrent of "here-we-go-again" resonating.

Myers got out of the inning, and from there went with a one-hitter through the 7th, but it was his ensuing at bats in Game 2 that he will be remembered for down the road.

But the real magic was as much created by the fans as by Myers. In what other city, with 2 outs, the pitcher batting against CC Sabathia in the 2nd inning, would 50K+ strong hang onto every pitch in an at-bat? What other fan base, besides maybe Boston or New York (AL), would understand the nuances of working a count early on a guy pitching on 3-days rest for the 4th start in a row? Again - with 2 outs, and the pitcher pitcher batting, who an inning before was one hit away from being run out of town, would 50k+ scream at the top of their lungs and wave towels in the 2nd inning? In what other city would said pitcher receive a standing ovation as he changed bats after breaking one on a foul ball? (I commented "Wonderboy").

There was as much excitement in 3 Brett Myers at bats as there was after the Victorino grand slam that the first set up.

THAT, readers, and not stories of Santa, Michael Irvin and battery hurling at JD Drew defines the passion of Philadelphia sports fans.

Go to MLB.com and watch the pitch sequences. Better yet, listen to the pitch sequences as pitch-by-pitch the crowd grows more and more excited.

MLB.com: 10/03/2008 Myers' game at the plate

Here's some crappy video I shot with Lights Out Lidge on the mound.

Just so you know that despite my praise for the Phillies fans, that doesn't mean we've gone soft. Despite the game we just witnessed, fans still expect the best out of the players. At the very end of this short one, note the quote, "Don't start this...THROW HIM A STRIKE!"

Lisa Guerrero on Pats Fans: "Drunken, Dirty, Obnoxious"

Lisa Guerrero, now blogging for the LA Times, had some choice words this week for fans of her former employer, the New England Patriots, as they struggle through the Matt Cassel era in Foxboro:

"And they give L.A. fans a hard time for not staying to the bitter end.

I, of all people, should not be surprised. From 1992 to 1994, I was the director of entertainment for the Patriots.

Believe me, those bleak years were anything but entertaining. Back then, they played at Foxboro Stadium...in front of maybe 20,000 fans, best known for urinating off the upper terrace and assaulting women in the dirt parking lot. In other words, this was a drunken, dirty, obnoxious crowd.

I don’t mean that in a good way.

Those fans were an embarrassment. The team stunk -- 6-10 in 1991 and 2-14 in 1992 -- and there wasn't a lot to cheer about. Remember Dick MacPherson? Exactly.

But isn't that when true fans continue to show up ... and know how to use the indoor plumbing?

Well, exit Hugh Millen/Scott Zolak and enter Drew Bledsoe/Tom Brady. Guess what? The crowds started showing up again."

Sign Language

Today, HHR celebrates some of the most recognizable signage genres in sports and the superfans who wave them.

Fire __________

After growing tired of blaming Barry Sanders' selfish retirement for the team's woes, Lions fans turned their ire on Matt Millen.

John 3:16. Austin 3:16. Anything 3:16.

Once a 70's mainstay thanks to born-again Rollen Stewart, the "3:16" phrase was reintroduced into 90's vernacular thanks to Mr. "Cold Stone" Steve Austin.

K Kount

Has recently been overshadowed by the Dollar Dog Night wiener count...much more entertaining.

Play/Drink Like a Champion

Here you go, Irish fans. Relive the glory years...

Cheer, cheer for Old Notre Dame,
Wake up the echoes cheering her name,
Send a volley cheer on high,
Shake down the thunder from the sky!
What though the odds be great or small,
Old Notre Dame will win over all,
While her loyal sons are marching
Onward to victory!

Now that we got that out of the way...whose advice is more relevant, Paul Hornung's or Big Ben's?

Ring Card Bikini Girls

When that acting/modeling career doesn't pan out (and pron still isn't an option), there is a job to resort to before heading to Hooters.

Network Acronyms / Just-Put-Me-on-TV-I'll-Whore-Out-Your-Call-Letters

Erin Andrews Harassment

"She was asking for it."

Priceless.

Seriously. People still do this.

Inappropriate Gameday Signs

They are funny because they're true.

Not to be confused with...

The Lee "Penis" Corso Gameday Specials



D-Fence

Not to be confused with its bastard cousin, the Off(Light switch)-Fence Sign(s).

Moderately Attractive Chicks with D-Bags / Muffin Top Signs

Because who needs paper? When you are starved for attention, flesh makes the best canvas.

8.28.08 Update: Reader Submission

From Sean Leahy of Going Five Hole...

He'd Rather Be in Chyna

Yankee Stadium HRD Security Chokes Out Fan

Anyone catch the world of hurt security put on these two fan boys in center last night?

I Found Him

I failed to find Alyssa Milano at Citizens Bank Park today. Truth be told, I was more interested in finding Mr. Yuengling.

I did, however, find THE Pedro Feliz fan.

Word is that this kid needed to replace his old David Bell shirt.