Friday, November 6, 2009

Fan for Sale: Convince @ChrisIlluminati to Root for Your NBA Team, Win NBA League Pass Broadband

First it was the Celtics. Until I realized as a Yankees fan that the same people that rooted for Bird were also part of the "Nation" and I'd be kicked out of my house if my father found out I liked anything Boston that didn't end in "baked beans." Next came the Magic-led Lakers until he kissed Isiah Thomas and my friends said I liked a team full of "marys." Of course, the thought of associated with anything gay (besides my velcro sneakers) will turn off a kid in 6th grade so I jumped around from team to team for the next fifeteen plus years.

Shaq and Scott Skiles because of the arcade game NBA Jam.

The Timberwolves during the early days of KG, D. West (I still don't know his first name), pre-homicidal Starbury and NBA Live 98'.

Back to the Lakers with Shaq and Mamba.

Bounced around to the Mavs, Kings, and the Nets for a brief moment, but only because I'm from Jersey.

The point is I've never had a real vesting interest in an NBA Franchise. I've never really had an interest in basketball - which is ABSURD for a 5'6 white kid with the vertical jump of a titmouse.

I need an NBA team. This has to change for several reasons.

  1. I'm married with pregger wife and need SOME type of sports excuse to click away from the Real Housewives of Atlanta. The baseball playoffs saved my ass from a fall of Project Runway.
  2. Almost everyone I follow on Twitter watches and tweets and all I can do is laugh and make out of date Charles Barkley jokes. Oh Bork.
  3. The Sports Guy has a 700 page anvil of a book about the NBA on the best-seller list. I don't want to read it but if a book can beat out anything the Harpo Army is peddling there must be a ton of fans that find this basketball shit interesting.

So what does this mean to the HHR reader? It's simple. Make me like your team. Woo me. Dazzle me. Show me your goods (put your zipper back up this is a family website).

What do you get out of all this? How about a Full Year Subscription of NBA LEAGUE PASS Broadband.

Shoot an email to huggingharoldreynolds(at)gmail(dot)com with the subject: "Chris, you are a ______ fan now" and convince me to wear your team colors, or shoot something in the comments section.

Deadline: Wednesday, November 11, 5PM.


Nationally and locally televised games are subject to blackout and are therefore not available via NBA LEAGUE PASS BROADBAND (regardless of whether team is home or away).

This contest is for US participants only. By entering the sweepstakes you agree to release Sponsor, the NBA Entities, and their respective affiliates and agencies from any and all liabilities for injuries, damages or losses of any kind to in connection with the sweepstakes, prize or any prize-related activity.


Chris Illuminati fancies himself some type of authority on things. He is actually an asshole. So much so he wrote a book.

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