Arlen, TX Prop Comic Bobby Hill Working as Cowboy Ball Boy

Jesse Holley is Coming, Elizabeth

In case you missed it...at the end of overtime in the Dallas-SF game, Jesse Holley reminded us no less thana half-dozen times that this is, in fact, the big one.

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Jason Sehorn Part II: On the NFC East, the NFL Judicial System and More

Yesterday, Jason Sehorn was vocal about the systematic and seemingly unsolvable problem of agents with their claws in potential NFL first and second rounders on college campuses.

Today, Sehorn pulls no punches as he talks about the hypocrisy of the NFL's justice system with Goodell's office being judge jury and executioner, the softening of the game that was brought about by the crackdown on big hits, the potential of Jerry Jones to morph into Al Davis and the overall absurdity of the Washington Redskins.

"The best thing going for the Giants and the Eagles right now is Jerry Jones and Daniel Snyder."

On Mike Shanahan's handling of Donovan McNabb:

"Disastrous. In my 10 years in the NFL, I never once played in a game where the starting quarterback was removed in the 2 minute offense when you could still win the football game...

Leave Albert Haynesworth in the picture and you see a philosophy here of 'if you're not my guy, this is how I'm gonna treat you.'

...And what they've done to Donovan McNabb, he's clearly not Mike's guy...he's not gonna be there after this year."

On crack down on hard hits: "Ridiculous. You can't arbitrarily decide after week four and 3 big hits that you're going to change the way we analyze this...When you appeal these fines do you know who you appeal them to? Right back to the league office. The people who fined you."

On TOcho: "I don't get it. At what point do you become a personality and not a football player any more? To each his own."




This week, Sehorn joined Keyshawn Johnson is in NYC promoting Captain Morgan's 1 Million Poses. For more information visit Facebook.com/CaptainMorganUSA.

For Part I of the Sehorn interview, click here.

Check out talk with Keyshawn here.

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Jimmy Johnson sort of, basically, calls Troy Aikman a p*ssy

Really funny interview by friend of HHR Chris Illuminati over at EgoTV. He had the chance to talk to former Dallas Cowboys coach and soon-to-be Survivor contestant Jimmy Johnson. Jimmy talked about the show, his coaching days and talked up some flag football competition called the Jimmy Bowl he is coaching for Crown Royal.

The most interesting nugget from the whole interview was a comment about his old QB and current Fox analyst Troy Aikman. When asked who would never last a day on Survivor, Jimmy was first to vote Troy off the island.

Let’s start with Troy (Aikman). Troy has been a primadonna all his life. I mean Troy was a great, great player but he would cry the first minute on the island that he didn’t get his food, or his special diet or didn’t get his eight hours sleep. So Troy wouldn’t last in the game.

Jimmy was probably joking but it's some funny stuff. Bet Troy would at least wait until all the guys had their shirts off before he asked to leave.

EgoTV Interviews Former Dallas Cowboys Coach And Survivor: Nicaragua Contestant Jimmy Johnson (EgoTV)

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Oft-Injured Eagle Shawn Andrews Auditions for Idol

Also on hand trying to break through to Hollywood was Michael Irvin's twin brother "Pookie."

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DeSean Jackson Fan Not Pleased with Announcing Effort by Collinsworth & Michaels

As if watching your team get shellacked for the second consecutive week by the Cowboys weren't bad enough, not even Bud 40s and pantomime masturbation could help this young man stomach the sound of Cris Collinsworth and Al Michaels.

It's actually heartbreaking how defeated he looks at the end.

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Prop Bets

I find the prop bets being offered at Bookmaker.com down right hysterical.

Among them, a few pokes at the recently split "Tessica":


Which Celebrity Will Tony Romo Date This Season?

Natalie Gulbis +500
Malia Jones +450
Olivia Munn +500
Amy Adams +350
Kristen Bell +500
Megan Fox +350
Emmanuelle Chriqui +450


Which NFL Player will Jessica Simpson Date Next?

Tony Gonzalez | Kansas City Chiefs +350
Jason Taylor | Washington Redskins +350
Will Demps | Houston Texans +500
Matt Forte | Chicago Bears +500
Wes Welker | New England Patriots +300
Kerry Rhodes | New York Jets +300
Matt Leinart | Arizona Cardinals +300
Tom Brady | New England Patriots +800

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Tony Romo Can't Hide His Lyin Eyes; Smile is a Thin Disguise

Source according to People Magazine: "[Tony] wanted her to be a house mom and be in Dallas, and he wants to go out and play – and not just football."

Ooooooooooo snap!

"It's been tough for her. Tony had his eyes on everyone but her towards the end."

By "everyone," the source is obviously referring to Jason Whitten.

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Good Grief! TO Channels His Inner Charles Schulz

On the series premier of VH1's The T.O. Show, a frustrated Owens re-depicted (on a bed sheet) for bodyguard and confidant Pablo the alleged diagram that Cowboy's owner Jerry Jones outlined in the meeting in which the wide receiver was told of his release from the team.


We grabbed a still shot of said diagram:

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Separated at Birth: A Fair and Balanced Moose

Today I stumbled upon Fox News and temporarily thought Daryl Johnston became a daytime cable news anchor under the stage name "Trace Gallagher." When Gallagher went 20 seconds without mentioning his relationship with Troy Aikman and/or Emmitt Smith, I quickly realized I was mistaken.

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Michael Irvin Sought in Philly Bank Robbery?

You be the judge...

"The subject is described as a black male...medium to dark complexion, over 6′ tall, 180 to 200 pounds, wearing a white hat, large eyeglasses, a black collarless shirt, brown sports coat and dark slacks or dress pants."

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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

Weekend Images

Sure, there were some great scenes in sports this weekend. But can they match the enjoyment of these few snapshots I grabbed when I was out-and-about?

Go Steagles

As reported on ESPN, the PA Turnpike Authority is rooting for a Turnpike Super Bowl. Consider it half a jinx.


Cut That Meat! Cut That Meat!

Hard times have befallen MB3 and his fellow Cowboys following yet another disappointing season.


I Can Summarize in 11 Ways


Way #1: Be born with favorable physical genetics that enable you to grow to 6'9".

Way #2: Learn to bounce a rubber ball.

Way #3: Practice bouncing rubber ball.

Way #4: Find a school that will pay you to bounce rubber ball.

Way #5: Find an employer that will pay you to bounce rubber ball.

Way #6: Earn lots of disposable money bouncing rubber ball.

Way #7: Try to be a late night talk show host for the hell of it.

Way #8: Find people who think you are business savy because you are 6'9" and can bouce a rubber ball.

Way #9: See if they'll pay you to write a book.

Way #10: Sucker fans of ball bouncing into thinking you know about business.

Way #11: Sell them book.

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Weekend Images

Sure, there were some great scenes in sports this weekend. But can they match the enjoyment of these few snapshots I grabbed when I was out-and-about?

Tip #1: Have her sign a pre-nup

This weekend on MTV's Made, Michael Strahan helped a fellow dumpy football brother out who wanted to be a "Ladies Man."


You know how to make a bullshot? Do you know how to make a shoe smell?

Arizona-Panthers on the flatscreens, Eagles-Giants ready to throw down the following day, and the bartender showing his Dallas pride with a Julius Jones jersey.


This about sums up yesterday

In case you can't follow:

F*ck the Giants
Eagles #1
Do they ever win a Super Bowl?
No
Yes
In the 40's and 50's before it was called Super Bowl.


Who put the M where the T should be?

I stared at this a good 5 minutes. I'm sure they got it wrong.

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TO in the Yard

Love it or hate it, Yardbarker is a repository for fans, athletes and bloggers alike to spout off about just about anything going on in sports.

To date, their main draw has been Eagles QB Donovan McNabb. As such, the place is infested with unapologetic #5 defenders. Anyone who dares speak ill of Donnie Mac can anticipate a fire storm of push back from commentors.

Well, this should get interesting. As if scripted by Vince McMahon himself, Yardbarker has landed someone as nutty as McNabb...who just so happens to be his arch nemesis and antagonist...Terrell Eldorado Owens.

Shocking, only 8 fans.

His first post...needling another former Bird, Cris Carter. And he's begging for comments!

"Hey Yardbarker... This is T.O. and I want to tell you this myself. People ask me what I thought about what Cris Carter said about me a few days ago. All I know is, if I'd been the one who had said that about him, what would everyone have thought?"

Needless to say, if TO utilizes this forum, bloggers and fans are going to have unprecedented fodder in going after the receiver everyone loves to hate.

I for one, can't wait.

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Exclusive: Cowboy Executive's Leaked Audio on Pacman Jones' Release

Yesterday the Cowboys severed ties with troubled cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones. While many in the Cowboys organization, including spokesman Rich Dalrymple, owner Jerry Jones and Coach Wade Phillips have declined or been unavailable for comment, an HHR contact within the organization has leaked the following audio in which a high-level club executive was overheard expressing his thoughts on Pacman's future.

Click here for the full clip.

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Headlines You Won't See Going into NFL Playoffs (But Should)

Lions Win Crabtree Sweepstakes

Reggie Brown Wonders What He Could Do with a #1 QB


Vince Young Refuses to Return Captain's Patch


Favre Gets Mangini Fired



Dennis Green to be Paraded Out to Fulfill Coaching Interview Quotas




Cowboys Become First Team with Two Roy Williams to Miss Playoffs; Emmitt Smith Still Picks Cowboys to Win Super Bowl





Marvin Harrison Offers Life Advice, Tips to Plax Burress: "Next Time Shoot Someone Else"

Nelson Peterson Tries to Wager 3 Packs of Smokes on Vikes Wild Card Weekend; Denied at Vegas Sports Book

Romeo Crennel To Serve As Carl Winslow In Long Awaited "Family Matters" Movie

Feel Free to Add Your Own...

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Just Being "Rebellion," PacMan Goes to "Scrip" Club

Romo Goes Down in Shower

I'm sure it's not the first time he's gone down in the locker room.

The Skip Bayless Homoerotic QB Jinx

Mike "The Fish" Fisher at DallasBasketball.com did a fantastic followup on our blurb about Skip Bayless' ogling of NFL QB hotties on First Take last week: "Skip has five budding bromances. Brady and Brett and Tony and Kurt and Donovan. ... it's like two threesomes! Except. ... once Skip proclaimed his manlove, things went south for the objects of his affection."

ESPN's Queer Eye For The NFL Straight Guy Goes 0-For-5

A Cowboy Story

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. An you know what that means. TNT will soon begin force-feeding us non-stop the worst, yet somehow most popular, holiday movie ever, A Christmas Story.

There's no escaping it.

Similarly, there is no escaping the questions already being asked by football pundits across the land - can Tony Romo and the Cowboys win in December? Will they finally win a playoff game. Will Terrell Owens destroy their very existence?

So, without further ado, we take a look at America's Team through the lens of America's worst Christmas movie.

Ralph "Ralphie" Parker: Ralphie is the movie's whiny star with a one track mind, and blatant disregard in taking anyone around him's advice. Tony Romo has a one track mind to be America's sweetheart, and ultimately gets what he wants, yet stillalways manages to shoot himself in the eye.


Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle: Ralphie's one true desire, akin to a Romo playoff win.


Randy Parker: Ralphie's younger brother and tag-along. They probably sit in their room and design schemes to embarrass poor Scut Farkus.


Scut Farkus: The bully.


Grover Dill: The bully's sidekick.


The Rabbit Suit Nobody Wants to Wear: Pacman Jones


The Aunt who gave Ralphie the Suit: Roger Goodell for continually reinstating Jones.

Schwartz: Scape goat. It can't be the players or the ownership. Blame the coach.


Flick: Succumbing to peer pressure. The Cowboys play in the division with the most media exposure and among the most competitive teams on the field. Each jockey and beat one another up, usually split season series, and have legitimate shots to make the wild card. And while the Cowboys generally have the most talent, they haven't seen the success that the Giants and Eagles have over the last decade.


Old Man Parker: The disciplinarian father. Tries to be a voice of reason, but just comes off as a self-serving moron.


Mrs. Parker: Enabling mother. Troy Aikman, Moose Johnston, Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin. They are all just blind, drugged and/or don't care that their family is a muckin fess.


Little Orphan Annie Secret Society: Propaganda front. Has everything to do with commercialization.


Miss Shields: Ralphie's teacher who assigned an essay Ralphie figured would be TOO perfect to deny him the rifle. And the teacher shot him right from the start.


Store Santa: Just flat out denies Ralphie his rifle. Kind of like slippery footballs.


Leg Lamp: Really nothing more than tacky eye candy.