Rich Camerillo is Fresh to Death

Early last week I picked up a box of 1990 Pro Set NFL cards for dirt cheap at the dirt flea market for the joy of randomly tearing open packs and amazing my friends.

Yesterday, that gift kept giving when I learned that DJ Pauly D is the bastard child of then-Cards punter Rich Camarillo.

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Kurt Warner Wanted for Impersonating Police Officer in Philly?

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Things That Make You Go "Boom"

Today at GMT:

And...BOOM Goes the Quarterback

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Foot Fetish

Not since White Boy's escapades on I Love NY has so much attention been paid on a person's toes.

After Deadspin editor emeritus Will Leith posted the above picture on his Tumblr page with the caption "ONE FOOT DOWN! ONE FOOT DOWN!," Politico's Ben Smith linked it with the text "The Cardinals were robbed."

Smith's post prompted faithful HHR reader Christian Jones to fire him off the following email, which he forwarded us (and Smith subsequently ended up posting):

Mr Smith:

You posted a disingenuous photo today on your blog from a Mr. Leitch and claimed that the Cardinals were "robbed." You clearly linked to said photo without doing any fact checking. This is simply unacceptable and unbecoming of a journalist.

I demand a correction.

Please click see the below link and see that Holmes did have two feet in bounds and on the ground with possession of the ball.

http://www.steelersdepot.com/blog/2009/02/picture-of-santonio-holmes-with-2-two-feet-down-for-touchdown/

Mr Leitch is a Cardinals partisan and you should not be spreading his lies.

You need to do a better job of fact checking, Sir.

Unless you make a correction I am done with your second rate blog.

Sincerely,

Christian Jones

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Steeler Nation Already Coining Nicknames for XLIII's Memorable Plays

"The Immaculate Interception"

(Or as the cool kids are calling it, "I2" or "I Squared")

Photo: Al Bello/Getty Images

"Ben to Ten"

Photo: Brian Snyder/Reuters

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Preserving History: The Joy of Six

After each major sporting event, HHR takes a look at how it is portrayed in news print in some of the nation's leading dailies. Part out of curiosity, and part to preserve the dying medium.

Today we document the unapologetic crotch shot Bruce Springsteen gave America, which until the 4th quarter was the only noteworthy event of last night's game Pittsburgh Steelers' unprecedented sixth Super Bowl title.

Pittsburgh Tribune-Review

Arizona Daily Star

Lehigh Valley (PA) Express Times

Trentonian

Seattle Times

Seattle PI

Philadelphia Inquirer

New York Times

New York Post

New York Daily News

LA Times

Dallas Morning News

Denver Post

Chicago Sun Times

Cleveland Plain Dealer

Bston Herald

Boston Globe

Atlanta Journal-Constitution

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Bold Super Bowl Prediction

Pundits and analysts will make their calculated guesses this week that will stick within the hedges. To escape you from this mediocre dribble, I will tell you now how the big plays will make the big game unfold. In true roulette fashion, I'm going big or going home.

As I know millions are wagered on the coin toss, Arizona will win and defer, and Hines Ward in true Matt Hasselbeck fashion will boldly exclaim, "we'll receive and we will play well!"

In the first quarter, Steelers will dig deep in the playbook and run the Immaculate Reception to keep Arizona off guard. Unfortunately, near the end zone Willie Parker will fumble to get one out of the way.

The Cardinals will jump to an early 7 point lead by installing Urban Meyer's spread offense, running Warner off three option fakes four consecutive times. Then running Hightower on a short leap off of Warner's back into the end zone.

In the second quarter, the Steelers will revert to their old trick plays. The flea flicker will be under thrown, otherwise good for a TD. The double reverse will be botched just outside the redzone with Watson breaking up the play and crushing Hines Ward's moisturized head in the process.

Arizona will suffer a major injury in their own right. Polamalu launches like a torpedo and crashes crown to face, knocking Warner unconscious.

Strikingly nervous, Leinart comes into the game. They run the ball a few times able to manage a couple first downs. Noticing the Steelers have 8 and a half players in the box, Leinart calls a fly pattern for Fitzgerald. The ball is grossly under thrown, but Fitzgerald leads his defender as if the ball is deep only to throw both hands behind his back at the last second to catch the ball at the small of his back and sashay into the endzone.

Cardinals go into halftime with a 14-3 lead and the Springsteen halftime show begins.
Springsteen will sign a few bars of a classic then try some new stuff. Knowing this will bore the crowd, Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana will come up from the stage to sing Mary's Place, which leads to an awkward butt grind with Springsteen resulting in the FCC to pull the plug on the halftime show. Springsteen spends the rest of the night in questioning.

During halftime, Wisenhunt invites buxom groupies situated in front row (player tickets) into the locker room for halftime. He will conduct the halftime in the showers with them running on the blonds to place Matt Leinart in an understandable situation to ease his nerves.

In the 3rd quarter, Steelers are unable to stop a highly stimulated Cardinals offense. Boldin breaks a 30 yard touchdown after a drag pattern across the middle. In celebration, he does a superman punch in the air and pulls his hamstring, groin, quad, lat, bicep and tricep.

The Steelers manage to point a few points on the board with time consuming drives that involve Tight End screen passes. Santonio Holmes manages to break a few punt returns, but is stopped by Punter Ben Graham multiple times with running soccer style trips and one Old School-esque tackle on the sideline.



By the 4th quarter, the Cardinals have a 31-13 lead. Leinart does what he does best and hands the ball off. The game slowly trickles to an end with Cardinals winning 34-16.

At the trophy presentation, Ben Graham is named MVP with a total of 4 tackles, 2 coffin corners and a tackle that will be the highlight of the game. When Wisenhunt accepts the trophy he stands next to Russ Grimm, shouts into the mike "suck it!, Rooney family" while he and Grimm do the Degeneration Suck It sign.

This is how it shall be. All gamblers bet accordingly.

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Only In America

In what has become a historic week, the United States saw two historical events unfold: the swearing in of the country's first African-American president and the crowning of perennial NFL doormat, the Arizona Cardinals, as NFC Champions for the first time in the Super Bowl Era.

To commemorate, we take a look at the parallels between the two events.

Unlikely Distinction

Obama: American President Barack Hussein Obama II.
Cardinals: National Football Conference Champion Arizona Cardinals.

Experience

Obama: Least experience person to be elected President of the US.
Cardinals: Longest reigning NFL championship drought; 1st Appearance in Super Bowl.

Failure to Show

Obama: Criticized by Democratic rival Hillary Clinton for: "In the Illinois State Senate, Senator Obama voted 130 times 'present,.' "That's not 'yes.' That's not 'no.' That's 'maybe.'"
Cardinals: Criticized by NFL pundits for failing to show for late season games against the Philadelphia Eagles (L, 48-20), Minnesota Vikings (L, 35-14) and New England Patriots (L, 47-7).

Rivals

Obama: As underdog overcame primary challenges by John Edwards, Bill Richardson and Clinton. Edwards proved vulnerable and exposed; Richardson had his experience rendered irrelevant; and the Clinton's inevitability proved anything but.
Cardinals: As underdogs, overcame playoff challenges by the Falcons, Panthers and Eagles. The Falcons proved vulnerable and exposed; the Panthers had their experience rendered irrelevant; and the Eagles's inevitability proved anything but.

Unsavory Past Associates

Obama: A checkered and unaccountable past littered with the likes of Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Tony Rezko, Gov. Blagojevich and Bill Ayers.
Cardinals: A checkered and unaccountable past littered with the likes of David Boston, Michael Pittman, Richie Anderson and Dyshod Carter.

Slogans

Obama: "Yes We Can": Stolen from the National Canning Center.
Cardinals: "Shock the World": Stolen from the 2008 Atlanta Hawks.


Loyalists

Obama: Rabid previously (8-year) suicidal anti-Bush, anti-war, tree-hugging, hippies.
Cardinals: Rumored to exist.

God bless America.

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Post-Gaming with Craigslist

Usually we go ahead and take a look at what's on tap for a major sporting event by seeing what goods and services are being bartered on Craiglist. Craigslist - for those too lazy to use Stubhub and Adultfriendfinder separately.

Sometimes, however, it's just as fun to check out the post-game analysis, taunting and whining going on there.

Here are a few of my favorites from the Philly page (Warning - potty mouths):

Bitch ass losers eagles

Bitches will never win anything. Everybody wants to talk about BO today what happen you little whiney losers? Never won not one dam Super Bowl. LLLLOOOOSSSSEEEERRRSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

McChoke is the Best First Place Loser in the NFC Chapionship Game

I have to give you pathetic Eagles fans some props, McChoke is the best first place loser in a NFC Championship Game. He has managed to take you to 5 games and lose 4. You get what you deserve, sweet dreams you sorry ass losers, cry like T.O. or do us all a favor and pull the trigger so all that pain will go away. LMAO Go Cardinals

Smile NOW McNabb (Dallas)

fuck you asshole. Smile now you pompous bastard. you and your fucking eagles got what you deserve. good riddance.

GO CARDINALS!!!

Eagles Win!!!!!!!

Get me out of this bucket.Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Preserving History: Your NFC Champion Arizona Cardinals

After each major sporting event, HHR takes a look at how it is portrayed in news print in some of the nation's leading dailies. Part out of curiosity, and part to preserve the dying medium.

As the Chicago St. Louis Phoenix Arizona Cardinals put a stake through the hearts of Philly fans, I was surprised their weren't more, frank "Holy Sh*t" headlines.

AZ Republic

AZ Republic Playoff Extra


AZ Republic 2009 NFC Championship Souvenir Edition


AZ Daily Star
Philly Inquirer


Philly Daily News


Bucks County (PA) Courier Times


Trentonian

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Cubbie Chaser: Arizona, Here We Come!

It's all so clear to me now. As I sit here ruminating over the results of the NFC Championship Game, I can just see the answer to a lifetime of agonizing questions.

Foremost among them: Why can't the Cubs make it to the World Series?

Yes, my goals are more modest than you'd imagine. I just want to get there. Winning is secondary.

So that's why I'm so excited today. Because I just watched the Arizona Cardinals defy all odds and expectations and earn a trip to the Super Bowl. After beating the Eagles, 32-25, in Glendale, Ariz., they have a chance to end the NFL's longest championship drought when they meet the Steelers/Ravens in Tampa on Feb. 1.

The Cardinals' last NFL title: 1947. Their last appearance in a title game: 1948. This was before they played in Arizona. Back then, they played in...that's right -- Chicago!

So I say we learn something from this. I say we move the Cubs (last World Series: 1945) to Arizona.

Sounds revolutionary, but it's a perfect solution, and perfect timing. The franchise is up for sale. The Cubs have a beautiful stadium in Mesa. How hard would it be for the new owners to amass the troops at Ho Ho Kam Park for spring training in mid-February and not leave until that wonderful, glorious, final day in late October? I'm sure Lou Piniella -- a native Floridian -- and his players -- many of whom grew up and/or spend their off-seasons in warm climates -- would not object.



Oh, sure, you'd lose some money on your advance ticket sales. But Cubs fans will understand! Hell, if I was blessed with enough money to afford season tickets to Wrigley Field, I would gladly eat my losses if it meant watching my beloved team reach the promised land in my lifetime. Maybe -- wonder of wonders -- they'd get there when I'm still young enough to both see and remember it!

You could even transfer those season ticket contracts to Ho Ho Kam, and throw in some travel expenses. Sure, you'd have to add a few seats and facilities to the digs out west (current capacity: 13,074). Sure, you'd spend some more money.

But think of the payoff! Think how you'd go down in history as the ownership group that reversed the curse! Immortality has to be more valuable than anything you could make at the box office.

I mean, let's face it. Clearly, Chicago is not working for this team.

It had its chance, and failed. Repeatedly. It had 1969, 1984, 1989, 1998, 2003, 2007 and 2008. But something about the city, the stadium, the karma, the aura...it just did not get the job done.

Arizona is the answer when you need a resurrection. Just ask the Cardinals. Or millions of rich retirees.

Really. This wouldn't even be a PR nightmare. You wouldn't have to hide the move or keep it secret, like the Isotopes did when they went from Springfield to Albuquerque. I'm telling you: Cubs fans will do whatever it takes. They'll take whatever it takes.

They've already swallowed the most putrid and revolting of sports realities and managed to keep it all down. Nothing you can do will make them puke.

OK, bad choice of imagery. But you get the point.

Don't you?

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NFL Shop Declares Eagles Conference Champs

"Counting your Eagles before they are hatched."

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When You Can't Make it to the Jersey Shore, NBC 10 Brings the Jersey Shore to You

What do you want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? 'Cause I'm married.

NBCPhiladelphia.com: Play the Eagles' "Whack-a-Cardinal" Game

That's right, Cardinals. Bury yourselves deep in those beer coozies...

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You Can't Polish a Turd

Gussy it up any way you like Cardinal fans, you're team is still the Chicago St. Louis Phoenix Arizona Cardinals.

That said, at least you show some pride and turnout to support your team unlike the fine folks in the Twin Cities.

According to azcentral.com, via NJ.com, tickets for Sunday's NFC championship Game that went on sale yesterday and sold out in six minutes.



It sure beats mulleted Jared Allen "begging" fans to buy a ticket.

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The Skip Bayless Homoerotic QB Jinx

Mike "The Fish" Fisher at DallasBasketball.com did a fantastic followup on our blurb about Skip Bayless' ogling of NFL QB hotties on First Take last week: "Skip has five budding bromances. Brady and Brett and Tony and Kurt and Donovan. ... it's like two threesomes! Except. ... once Skip proclaimed his manlove, things went south for the objects of his affection."

ESPN's Queer Eye For The NFL Straight Guy Goes 0-For-5

Training Camp Postcards, Part 7 of 8: NFC West

As you may or may not follow, SI.com has dispatched "10 writers to report on the 32 NFL training camps across the country" and is featuring their reports throughout August in their Training Camp Postcard segment.

Here at HHR, we prefer to look at actual postcards sent by players to their loved ones, as opposed to Peter King drivel.

Today, we take a look at what's going on in Santa Clara, CA (49ers), Flagstaff, AZ (Cardinals), Mequon, WI (Rams), and Kirkland, WA (Seahawks).

To See the Complete Parts 1-8, Click Here.

Is ESPN Coming Around to Embracing Impact of Blogs?

ESPN and its personalities have been widely criticized online by bloggers and commentators for their apparent inability or unwillingness to embrace blogs and online communities for their contributions to "journalism" and reporting.

In the wake of the Bissinger/Leitch slobberknocker and subsequent reactions, ESPN, while late to the game, may be slowly becoming the first major mainstream outlet to see the writing on the wall.

Note: This may only apply to sports journalism. For instance, Drudge has led the way for years now, yet sports commentators look at their field in a vacuum and fail to recognize the impact the 'Net has had in (say) politics. While The Sporting News, Yahoo and others embrace fan interaction and "blogs," neither have the mass impact of the WWL.

The piece below was run on Sports Center yesterday (I believe re-broadcast from OTL). ESPN not only centered the premise for the piece on TheDirty's photos in referencing Matt Leinart's perceived partying ways, but showed the very pictures that were published on the site - the very kind of low-brow "journalism" Bissinger and his colleagues decry. Yet, they have no qualms splashing the pictures on their worldwide flagship program.

Matt Leinart wants to give players mouth-to-mouth

Just in case Matt Leinart's NFL career doesn't pan out, he is preparing for life after the gridiron. Television? Too easy. Bachelor? Why would he want to lower his dating standards. No, young Matthew is going to be an EMT.

Matt Leinart has perfected new skills that may turn out to be a lifesaver on the football field -- or anywhere else. The Arizona Cardinals' quarterback, hoping to raise awareness of how American Red Cross training can save lives, demonstrated CPR and the use of a defibrillator on a training dummy.

That's no way to talk about Kurt Warner.

Matt continues... "God forbid something would happen on the football field or wherever it is. But if it does, I'm prepared."

Well, there you have it. The Cardinals can do away with all their fancy doctors, team physicians and even the trained medical staff on gameday. Matt Leinart is in the building. Whether it's a torn ACL, separated shoulder or concussion, Leinert is ready and willing to pump on some chests, count to 30, and listen to a box tell him what to do.

It worked when he dated Paris Hilton...