Prop Bets

I find the prop bets being offered at Bookmaker.com down right hysterical.

Among them, a few pokes at the recently split "Tessica":


Which Celebrity Will Tony Romo Date This Season?

Natalie Gulbis +500
Malia Jones +450
Olivia Munn +500
Amy Adams +350
Kristen Bell +500
Megan Fox +350
Emmanuelle Chriqui +450


Which NFL Player will Jessica Simpson Date Next?

Tony Gonzalez | Kansas City Chiefs +350
Jason Taylor | Washington Redskins +350
Will Demps | Houston Texans +500
Matt Forte | Chicago Bears +500
Wes Welker | New England Patriots +300
Kerry Rhodes | New York Jets +300
Matt Leinart | Arizona Cardinals +300
Tom Brady | New England Patriots +800

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Tony Romo Can't Hide His Lyin Eyes; Smile is a Thin Disguise

Source according to People Magazine: "[Tony] wanted her to be a house mom and be in Dallas, and he wants to go out and play – and not just football."

Ooooooooooo snap!

"It's been tough for her. Tony had his eyes on everyone but her towards the end."

By "everyone," the source is obviously referring to Jason Whitten.

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Tomy Romo Verbally Bitch Slaps Papa Joe

Father of the year, Joe Simpson, is at it again. An Us Weekly report claims that Papa Joe's antics have once again interfered with his daughter's relationship. Rumored to have caused the short split between Jess and Tony, Joe Simpson offered to pimp out an engagement and wedding to a magazine, should that happen, just like he did for lil' Ashlee and her baby daddy.

"A parent will always be there for his kids and never give up on them. I work hard seven days a week for my girls because I love them."

What he means is, that as a parent of children in the entertainment industry, he works hard for his girls seven days a week because that is what it takes to keep him in the lifestyle he's accustomed to.

Scumbag.

Cowboy Tony's Birthday: What's Going On In this Photo?

Photo: Robert Hart

A. Handy Smurf smurfed all over Jessica Simpson's smurf.
B. Aaron Brooks is booty dancing with a Hollywood starlet after sneaking into another party.
C. Tony Romo is a bundle of nerves and bites his nails because he has no idea how to react and even less an idea how he landed a bombshell.
D. Poppa Joe is PISSED he didn't get enough lead time to hype up this cake eating event. Worse yet, he wasn't the sole photog at this party, and couldn't make money of the exploitation of his daughter. Screw you, Robert Hart.
E. That fucking hat looks retarded.
F. In Tony's actual fantasy, that's Jason Witten "seducing" him.

You make the call.

Mortensen reporting Romo gets laid in Honolulu

Huge football and celebrity gossip out of Hawaii.

Chris Mortensen is in Honolulu covering the Pro Bowl for ESPN. His assistant is a huge fan of ours (who isn't). We got to be friends through...not important. Anyway, he just got word via a text message that Mort is reporting that Tony Romo has cheated on Jessica Simpson while in Hawaii for the Pro Bowl. Word from Mort is that it was a pretty public event.

All we have now is the exact text from Mort to his assistant saying "Romo just got laid. Sources confirmed. Two attractive young women. Attacked Romo as he got off jet at Honolulu Int. He didn't put up a fight. More when I learn more."

Mort is trying to get more details as the story develops. HHR will cover this as it happens. Hopefully this guy doesn't screw us over.

EDITED 4:25 PM- There has been an update.

Video: Metal Skool Calls Out Tony Romo

Sad day when your manhood is questioned by a"glam metal parody band" and its fans.

The first time, at least, they went a little easier on him.

Via TMZ:

Tony Romo was dragged onstage last night, but in the end Romo clearly wanted to be a rock star, singing Journey's "Don't Stop Believin' and trying in vain to engage Jessica.

The damage was done at the Key Club in West Hollywood. Romo didn't want to go onstage, but after chants of "p*ssy" erupted from the crowd, Romo relented.

Video Here.

Simpson Demands Retraction on Romo Break-Up Story

E!: Jessica Flags Tabloid for Relationship Interference

While we, the Cowboy-hating football fans of HHR, were as smitten as anyone to hear of the alleged break-up of Cowboy Tony and Joe Simpson's girl, Jess' reps are denying Tony gave the starlet the boot.

"That rag completely fabricated and made up this story," Simpson's rep, Cindi Berger, said in a statement to E! News. "I've spoken to both Jess and Tony and they are completely secure in their relationship and won't let this garbage get under their skin!"

Further, Simpson's legal camp sent "a heated letter to OK! magazine Thursday, demanding the tabloid retract a new article that says Simpson's beau...dumped the In This Skin chanteuse after his team lost to the New York Giants in the NFL playoffs on Jan. 13."

Hopefully this means the rumored country duet is still going forward.

And we pray this doesn't sidetrack his movie project.

The Whine-stone Cowboy

While overlooked on most sports sites, with the exception of regular sports observer DCScrap, among others, it's been all over the celebrity gossip blogs that (apparently) Jess Simpson wants to do a country duet with her father's boyfriend Cowboy Tony.

While many blast this as absurd, Tony has a ton of practice singing and strumming as evidenced in the picture below.

Photo: CNNSI

Just watch your nose in Nashville, Tony. Don't hassel the Hoff.

I've been walkin' these streets so long
Singin' the same old song
I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of Broadway
Where hustle's the name of the game
And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain
There's been a load of compromisin'
On the road to my horizon
But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me

Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Getting cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers comin' over the phone

Well, I really don't mind the rain
And a smile can hide all the pain
But you're down when you're ridin' the train that's takin' the long way
And I dream of the things I'll do
With a subway token and a dollar tucked inside my shoe
There'll be a load of compromisin'
On the road to my horizon
But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me

Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Rhinestone cowboy
Gettin' cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers comin' over the phone

Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo

Like a rhinestone cowboy
Gettin' card and letters from people I don't even know

The Deanna Favre Curse

You may have noticed recurring two cut-away shots to the luxury suites yesterday during the NFC Championship Game - One to Eli's girlfriend (Archie) and the other to...well, read below...

It's always seemed so blissful. Maybe it's the way the man, his relationship to his family, his overcoming addiction, his gunslinging ways are embraced by NFL pundits far and wide. But the marriage of Brett Favre to the state of Wisconsin has been undermined to his personal marriage. Not to Peter King, but to Deanna.

By all accounts the pair are a formidable duo. Since her diagnosis with breast cancer in 2004, Deanna has likely helped and inspired as many off the field as Brett has on it.

Unless you are a Packer fan.

You see, Brett and Deanna were married on July 14, 1996, the year in which the Packers last saw a championship season.

As Brett yet again contemplates another retirement after a no-doubt Hall of Fame career, perhaps team captain Donald Driver should take the lead of fellow wideout Terrell Owens and call for the retirement of his quarterback's main squeeze from attending Packer football games.

Hollywood has gotten the best of Brett since his marriage. We see him in hit movies, hocking redneck jeans.

Concentrating on anything but football.

The legacy of the storied Packer franchise deserves better than seeing errant interceptions and loses to the likes of Fredo Manning, which only prove Brett's head is occupied in the stands by his starlet.

We chastise poor Jessica Simpson and Cowboy Tony, we deify the Farves.

Tony Romo, Pro Bowler

With Romo/Simpson coverage rivaling that of only HHR, People.com might subtlely be hinting at a new profession for Cowboy Tony following his collapse in Dallas' on-going playoff win drought.

From Sorry, Jessica! Tony Romo Loses Playoff Heartbreaker:

The Pro Bowler, 27, also defended his decision to spend a few days with Simpson, and some of his fellow teammates, during his off week. "I thought I was making a good decision by not going to Vegas and drinking for two or three days," he explained.

Looks like the Mannings won't be the only 2-sport quarterbacks in the league.

Leave Tony Allooooonee!

Philly Inq: Teary-eyed T.O. hurt by loss

TONY GUTIERREZ / Associated Press

Says Owens, "This wasn't about Tony. You can talk about him, you can talk about the vacation, but it's unfair. That's my teammate. That's my quarterback."

And the kicker:

"I've always had a good relationship with quarterbacks," he said. "I know what type of person I am on the inside. I know who I am."

Great video coverage courtesy of Barstool Sports of the TO performance:

Quick Thoughts on the Divisional Round

1. Despite the sunshine and margaritas, going to Cabo was a terrible idea.

I will haunt you.

2. 12 feet of snow falls on Green Bay and Brett Favre plays like a man possessed. Just a year ago, this would have been a prime contender for one of those 3-INT, 2 lost fumble games.

It's official honey. I'm playing 'til I'm 50.

3. Tom Brady was unbelievable against Jacksonville, racking up a 141.4 passer rating and completing an NFL record 92.9 percent of his passes. He dumped screens when the defense got too agressive, found the slant when linebackers vacated their zones ... it was unreal. It was like he knew what was coming.


4. Was it necessary for Philip Rivers to scream at the Indy fans (getting gracelessly caught in the act on camera) near his bench as the game drew to a close? Seems to reaffirm suspicions raised by Denver CB Champ Bailey that Rivers is a redneck assclown.

5. As mentioned earlier on this board, Rodney H(GH)arrison is not a good role model.


6. It was definitely loud in Indianapolis yesterday. But that was no reason for all of the phantom defensive holding and pass interference calls on the Chargers. For God's sake, Norv's head almost exploded.

Norv Turner, 2008. Not a happy man.

7. As improbable as it may be, this face most certainly did not rear it's ugly head in Texas Stadium yesterday:

Wait a second ... you mean it was the other QB who threw a game killing interception?

New Sports Jinx

Madden? SI Cover?

People.com is just asking for it with the caption on the picture below which is still featured on their main page...


Anyone care to set the over/under on the breakup date?

Mrs. Tony Parker Advising Jess Simpson

This would be some much more relevant and interesting where this an actual relationship and not a sham. But since everyone from Terrell Owens to Terry Bradshaw has advice for the Texas Twosome, so why not Eva Longoria?

"When I first started dating Tony (Parker), I got the same flack, and this was so many years ago that people don't remember," Longoria told PEOPLE on Saturday. "If he had a bad game, it was my fault, if he got injured, it was my fault, if he had a good game, it wasn't because of me."

Longoria's advice to her fellow Texan: "You have to weather that for a while, and once people get over it, they kind of get used to you."

If you ask me, no one really cares about San Antonio or the NBA. So it's not that they get used to you, they just don't care. Plus, he's French.

All-American Cowboys quarterback, though?

Ah whatever. It's a moot point. The relationship will be over as soon as her forthcoming country album flops, at which time she'll probably claim they were never dating anyway, and Cowboy Tony can be swept off his feet by J-Witt.

Knobs and Knockers

While wandering around lovely Lahaska, PA around the holidays, I snapped a picture of this fantastically awesome sign.

After waiting a month for an opportunity to unveil it, today presents a problem.

Which Knobs and Knockers are most appropriate as divisional weekend kicks off and Chuck comes out of the woodwork?

I'll throw it to you, the readers:

Knobs with their decorative hardware.

Stupid, bloggers! Look at these!

Look at him!

Any doubts?

Didn't think so.

Tight Ends

Craig Carton this morning on WFAN NY made a claim he figured would rile up Giant fans, saying the G-Men essentially had no chance in hell to beat the Cowboys in Dallas this weekend, begging callers to give him one tangible reason why he may be wrong. After 2 hours of no response, a caller noted Romo's inability to make a decision of late, saying Cowboy Tony was told to head to Cabo on his bye week to relax and to bring his favorite tight end. Romo brought Witten AND Simpson.

MAS TEQUILA!

No Ruining Romo

People.com might need to start a whole separate sports/celebrity gossip wing with their excessive Romo/Simpson coverage. Then, again, we're ones to talk.

Reports the site:

Sorry, Giants fans: Jessica Simpson is not attending beau Tony Romo's football playoff game Sunday, as his Dallas Cowboys take on the New York Giants. The always-vocal New York fans had been begging for Simpson – who recently vacationed with Romo in Mexico – to show up and (they hoped) distract Romo from his game. But Simpson's rep Cindy Berger tells the New York Post: "She is not attending. She's working on a new album. She will not be there, but she'll be watching [on TV] and cheering [Romo] on."

Without the real deal there, it's kind of hard to start a Ruin Romo push as visitors to Big D.

Nothing turns Cowboy Tony on more than a gal in mom jeans.

Weapon X Violates Jessica Simpson

(While Romo pouts)

Check it out. Seriously.

700 Level Reader Photoshop

Ha! A quarterback? That's rich!

And if he doesn't listen, pinch his helmet.
Jessica Simpson Gets QB Love Advice from Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Jessica Simpson's weekend getaway with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo in Mexico may have been nice, but romancing an NFL star requires some special skills – so says View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who knows a thing or two about snagging a guy in cleats as the wife of footballer Tim Hasselbeck.

"Quarterbacks are a little bossy," she jokes with ABC Radio's David Blaustein. "So I like to remind Tim that he's not on field when he's trying to call the plays at home."

When is Tim on the field? And are there any plays on his armband besides halfback option and taking a knee?

Those post-pregnancy drugs are a powerful hallucinogen. How glib.

Joe Simpson - Marketing Genius

Everytime I scroll through my daily assortment of celebrity gossip sites, I can't seem to find a Jessica Simpson story that doesn't mention her new bf Tony Homo...er.. I mean Romo.

After a crap-storm of poor PR following her infamous divorce from Nick Lachey, Jessica only experienced failures - an album that sold poorly, a joke of a movie career, and an even worse relationship with John Mayer (I mean, really? He is so not attractive and his music sucks balls).

Joe Simpson was able to relaunch his buxom daughter back into the praises of the media, and in a quitely timely manner. As she finished shooting her next big film, Major Movie Star (I'm setting the over/under at 2 weeks in the theater... any takers?), and begins work on her new album, Joe courted his daughter a good-ole honest Cowboy to put her back in the celebrity limelight.

He turned this....

Into this...
So until this one goes sour, we'll constantly be reminded that Jessica is indeed from Texas, that she is dating Tony Romo, and that her career only exists because her dad shamelessly exploits her for a hefty paycheck.