Sports' Deepest Throats

Late last week, W. Mark Felt, better known as Watergate snitch "Deep Throat," died at the age of 95. Felt was responsible for Washington Post reporters Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward's biggest leads in taking down President Nixon.

In his honor, and in honor of whistleblowers everywhere, we present sports' top ten historical snitches.

Dis-Honorable Mention

Brett Favre: Rumor has it he used his Packer-issued cell phone to call Vikes coach Brad Childress and offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell while on his way out of Green Bay. Of course, he denied any inappropriateness and Favre is a man to take at his word.

10. J.P. Hayes

You know you are a real rat when you can't even help but out yourself, even at the expense of your own livilhood.

Hayes inadvertently played a non-conforming golf ball - one not on the list approved for competition by the United States Golf Association - for one hole of a second-stage qualifier in McKinney, Texas.

The 43-year-old Appleton native disqualified himself from the second stage of the PGA Tour Qualifying Tournament last week. The first DQ of his career was especially harsh because it left him ineligible to play fulltime on the PGA Tour in 2009.

9. Terry "Hulk Hogan" Bollea

Over the years we have seen Hulk Hogan's reputation, family life and ego more and more reflect the world of professional wrestling in which he made his bones. If not for the vison of Vincent K. McMahon, Hogan's career may very well have gone the way of, say, a Barry Horowitz.

In the 90's, years after Hollywood made his millions, he was the star witness against his boss, first scratching the All-American surface of the self-serving egomaniac that we know today:

In 1993, he was indicted after a steroid controversy engulfed the promotion. McMahon was put on trial in 1994, accused of distributing steroids to his wrestlers. As a legal move, his wife Linda was made CEO of the WWF during the trial. He was acquitted of all charges though he admitted to taking steroids himself in the 1980s. The prosecution made Hulk Hogan its star witness, and his testimony in the trial severely damaged the two's friendship, even though Hogan's testimony defended McMahon. After Hogan's testimony, McMahon went before the media declaring that he wished that Hogan had not lied about him on the witness stand.

8. Billy Wagner

Not a snitch, per se, but in the words of World Champion Pat Burrell, a "rat."

A club house cancer if there ever was one, Wagner, a perennial over-paid underachiever who crumbles in big moments, has never had any qualms calling out teammates in the media.

7. Paul LoDuca

Speaking of outspoken Mets hell-bent on destroying team chemistry...if not for Paul LoDuca, we'd have never known that New York's Latin ballplayers spoke a lick of English:

“I’ll do this, but you need to start talking to other players. It’s the same three or four people every day. Nobody else wants to talk...Some of these guys have got to start talking. They speak English, believe me.”

6. Kobe Bryant

Leave it to an adulterous, accused rapist to bring down those around him.

In his now-famous freestyle, Shaquille O'Neal explaned: "I'm a horse, Kobe ratted me out, that's why I'm getting divorced," in reference to Kobe's comment to Colorado police during his 2003 rape trial: "Shaq would pay his women not to say anything."

5. Anonymous 911 Caller

A woman police around 9:20 p.m. on Oct. 6 "to report some men had gotten out of a vehicle and urinated in her yard."

The caller told the dispatcher, "There was a big shuttle bus limousine that pulled up alongside of my house, and there was like seven black men who got out and stopped and peed all over my yard. There was like six or seven. There was a whole busload of them. But the bus driver stopped right alongside my house, and there was six or seven black men that got out, probably, I'd maybe say 19, 18, 19, maybe even 20."

The organizer, Viking Fred Smoot, put on quite a party for his Minnesota teammates.

Police described the Vikings sex boat incident as: "Masturbation, oral sex, woman on man, woman on woman, toys, middle of the floor, middle of the couches, middle of the room...Members of the entourage that were on both boats took enormously detailed photographs of a variety of sexual acts."

4. Jim Haslett

In 2005 the NFL player-turned coach outed one of the NFL's premier franchises (Steelers), coaches (Noll) and ownerships (Rooney) by saying that the "team's use of steroids during its Super Bowl championship seasons in the 1970s popularized the drug in the NFL."

Haslett later clarified: "It wasn't against the rules in those days, it wasn't illegal...I have a lot of respect for this league, but it's naive to think people weren't using enhancing drugs before they were illegal. The difference is that the NFL recognized that steroids would hurt the league and took steps to stop their use. That's what I was trying to show."

3. Brian McNamee

McNamee's ceremonious throwing of his former boss and baseball legend Roger Clemens under the bus in the heat of the Mitchell hearings was the ultimate sign of ungratefulness. Whether or not the Rocket was guilty of the accusations McNamee presented is besides the point. He ultimately betrayed his meal ticket and apparent friend and confidant, and continues to be a thorn in the would be Hall of Famer's side.

2. Jim Bouton

I wrote last year about Bouton's Ball Four, his "masterpiece that got his ass blacklisted from pro ball": Ball Four is a raw, unadulterated and no-holds barred piece written in a diary format by a witty, honest intellectual amongst his more physically focused contemporaries.

His references to player-team labor relations, "beaver shooting," amphetamine use and Mickey Mantle's skirt chasing were unprecedented at the time when sportswriters still held athletes on a pedestal for idol-worshiping fans to, well...worship.

1. Jose Canseco


What can be said about the Bash Brother-turned-reality star-turned author that hasn't already been said.

Bouton's book was viewed as getting him blacklisted, Canseco's was in essence a response to his perceived impression that he was already blacklisted. Consequently, it did little to help his cause. Bouton shed light on things we didn't know, Canseco's shed light on things we already assumed.

VOTE!



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Clemens: Zestfully Clean of PEDs

Jim Baumbach at Newsday's The Final Score pulled out this doozy of everyone's favorite alleged teenage skirt-chasing PED abuser...

Congress/DoJ to go after Clemens on Perjury?

(Pablo Martinez Monsivais/Associated Press)

The New York Times is reporting that "A Congressional committee has taken the first steps toward asking the Department of Justice to launch a criminal investigation into whether Roger Clemens committed perjury during testimony about his use of performance-enhancing drugs, according to three lawyers familiar with the matter."

At this time, "A draft letter referring Clemens, but not his accuser, Brian McNamee, had been drawn up by staff members for the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform by the end of last week, according to two of the lawyers," though it noted that "McNamee could also be included in the referral by the time it is sent to the Justice Department."

See the full post here: Congress May Single Out Clemens.

Separated at Birth: 8 Mile

Will the Real Slim Shady please stand up? Please stand up?

Castro's Wife "Debbie" in Mitchell Report?

TOP TEN REASONS FIDEL CASTRO IS RETIRING

10. He has accepted the role of Dr. Ramon Vazquez on "General Hospital."
9. Achieved his goal of getting Cuba's unemployment rate under 83%.
8. Wants to spend more time interrogating his family.
7. Just got Season One of "Gilmore Girls."
6. Caught injecting human growth hormone into his wife, Debbie Castro.
5. Too many tacos.
4. He was adopted by Angelina Jolie -- honestly, how crazy would that be?
3. Always promised himself he'd quit torturing when it stopped being fun.
2. Jane Fonda alled him a blank.
1. 49 years at the same job? Who am I, Letterman?

Bottom Feeders

ON Monday, Fat Willard pointed out "MSM has an uncomfortable infatuation with Clemens' ass."

Reader PRing points out, that the Washington Post has joined the likes of Fox Sports & The Trentonian with their clever, derriere-related headline today:


A few of the first paragraphs are priceless:

At the invitation of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, the Rocket, a seven-time Cy Young winner, had come to Washington to testify about his role in baseball's steroids scandal. And lawmakers hit him where the sun doesn't shine.

"Just for the record, as I understand it, there was an injury on Mr. Clemens's buttocks," said Chairman Henry Waxman (D-Calif.), and "the injury was related to an injection."

Rep. Stephen Lynch (D-Mass.) wanted to know more about "the palpable mass on his buttocks."

Rep. Tom Davis (R-Va.), recalling that Clemens suffered "soreness," asked the witness: "Do you recall any bleeding through your pants in 2001?"

This one is a double-doosey.

Note the picture's caption: "Several House Republicans on the panel, such as Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.), didn't appear to think Roger Clemens was a bum."

So Many Amendments to Choose From

Roger is getting hammered by Waxman and close to going down in flames.

If only he had plead the 1, 2, 3, 4...Fiiiizzzif.

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

Misleading Headline: Yankees Pride

Say it loud!

AP: Clemens again pressing flesh on Capitol Hill

You can evade taxes, Jeter, but you can't get away from the Rocket!

(Not that there's anything wrong with that)

Separated at Birth: Saving DNA

As inspired by a comment by Kimberly Jones (with Chris Carlin standing in for Carton & Boomer) on WFAN's morning show this AM, Brian McNamee and Monica Lewinsky.

Who saves this stuff? I mean, honestly.

The Sammy Sosa Defense?

AP: B-12 or BS? Congress wants Tejada probe

Hopefully Miggy has brushed up a bit on his English.

Yo, esse, watch where you're pointing that thing.

Knobs and Knockers

While wandering around lovely Lahaska, PA around the holidays, I snapped a picture of this fantastically awesome sign.

After waiting a month for an opportunity to unveil it, today presents a problem.

Which Knobs and Knockers are most appropriate as divisional weekend kicks off and Chuck comes out of the woodwork?

I'll throw it to you, the readers:

Knobs with their decorative hardware.

Stupid, bloggers! Look at these!

Look at him!

Any doubts?

Didn't think so.

McNamee lied in 2001 rape investigation

From the Sporting News....

Brian McNamee lied to police in 2001 rape investigation

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. (AP) -- Detectives believed the former New York Yankees trainer who says he injected Roger Clemens with steroids lied to them during the 2001 investigation of a possible rape, according to documents released Tuesday by police.

Police said Brian McNamee denied having sex with a possibly drugged woman in a hotel pool, even though security guards and other witnesses said they saw him.

Don't bother shutting that open window. McNamee's credibility flew out years ago.

Yankee Pride

AP File Photo

Somewhat lost in the Roger Clemens post-Mitchell Report spectacle is the forthcoming role that Andy Pettitte will play in the condemnation or absolution of his friend, teammate and golf buddy.

On WFAN's Carton and Boomer this morning, Brian McNamee attorney Earl Ward reacted to Clemens' press conference, and talked about prospects of the forthcoming House Oversight Hearings, Clemens' pending lawsuit and a possible counter defamation suit that could be filed against the Rocket by McNamee.

Tagging Pettitte as a "star witness," Ward seems to feel that it is in Pettitte's nature to be open, honest and forthright, especially under oath. Whereas it is widely believed that Pettitte was referred to McNamee by Clemens, it is likely he has firsthand knowledge of whether or not Roger is being honest in his firm denial of the trainer's claims. As such, Pettitte could obviously corroborate McNamee's claims, or somewhat credibly lend credence to Clemens' claims.

Carton and Boomer referred to the potential examination of Pettitte as a "grilling." Pettitte holds the hangman's noose.

Tony Micelli got himself a lawyer

Ex-minor leaguer could sue MLB

NEW YORK (Ticker) - Major League Baseball could face a class-action lawsuit from former minor leaguers who believe they were denied a fair shot at making the majors because of steroids in the game.

Ex-St. Louis Cardinals farmhand Rich Hartmann told the New York Daily News he is considering filing the lawsuit, and has support from former teammates.

"Was I cheated of my dreams of a big-league career?" Hartmann said in Sunday's Daily News. "I don't know. But I do know there were thousands of guys who were right on the doorstep between 1990 and 2005 and they were cheated because they didn't use steroids."

Hartmann, now a 35-year-old New York banker, was a 26th-round draft choice of the Cardinals in 1994. He impressed at Class A level but lasted only a couple of seasons before he quit after an arm injury.

I hope the Cardinals counter-sue for wasting a draft pick (albeit a 26th round pick), roster spot, uniform, salary, and countless plane and bus tickets on this guy. But where the hell have a heard this story before?

"Widower Anthony Morton "Tony" Micelli (Danza) is a former second baseman for the St. Louis Cardinals who was forced to retire due to a shoulder injury and the up and coming career of Tommy Herr."

Not taking steroids didn't keep you from the majors, it kept you from a nice AA career. And threw you right into the arms of Angerler, Mona and Jonatin.

Congressional MLB Witch Hunt Take 2

Roger Clemens, Brian McNamee, Andy Pettitte, Chuck Knoblauch and Kirk Radomski will be called to testify before the House Oversight Committee according to an AP report.

Yankees.com has verified the report, noting:

Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee have been asked to testify before the House Oversight Committee at a Jan. 16 hearing, according to an Associated Press report published Friday.

The Committee had already planned to conduct a hearing on the Mitchell Report on Jan. 15, but according to the AP, it extended the meetings to a second day, with Clemens, McNamee, Andy Pettitte, Chuck Knoblauch and Kirk Radomski asked to be in attendance.

HT: 1560 The Game's Sean and John

Shelley Duncan's Notebook is Back

And it's not pulling any punches, even when it comes to his own teammate.

Clemens: I take Lidocaine and B-12 in the Butt

Fat Mike and Chris were really giving Mike Wallace and the Rocket the business today on WFAN. They cackled over the ridiculousness of the manner in which, as ESPN describes it:

Wallace asked Clemens if he swears he didn't used banned substances. "Swear," Clemens responds.

"Lidocaine and B-12. It's for my joints, and B-12 I still take today," Clemens told Wallace.

Case closed. He swore.

Our money was on him going the glucosamine and chondroitin route.

But then again, how would we know what he does and doesn't take in the butt.

Mitchell Report Trickle

Fans of baseball have had mixed reactions to the Mitchell Report, some will always be avid fans and others are on the extreme have sworn off the sport similar to the strike of 1994, but most probably lie somewhere in between.

But now, we are beginning to see the true trickle down affects that are causing outrage across the fan spectrum. Yesterday, the impacts of the Mitchell Report hit home for me.

While having a relaxing evening playing MLB '07 the Show on my PSP, my new opponent was the already roid filled Yankees, but to my utter dismay the Yankmees further artificially stacked their lineup in the offseason by acquiring Miguel Tejada. Thankfully, my beloved Tigers were able to power their way to victory (no roids in my lineup). Still, what the hell?

(Coincidence big headed bobbleheads became popular during steroid era?)

Do I have a right to edit my opponents' players' attributes? Does Sony, EA or MLB have a patch that I can download to accurately portray players' skill levels pending the amount of butt shots they've taken? I am in year five of season mode (3 World Series titles), what can they do for me?

Bud Selig needs to know that gamers were damaged too and demand retribution. Selig does not understand that steroids have not only damaged the trust of fans and the testicles of the players, but it goes deeper.

I lost my family fantasy league on the last day of the season. Neck and neck after the All Star break. The winner had Shef and Tejada. That's money out of my pocket!! Who knows what this going to do to the family makeup when I demand my money back.

Add gamers and fantasy owners to a growing list that are now in pain. Beware of the steroid trickle. It may ruin your evening and family.

Sign of the Apocalypse

With pride we take full credit for introducing the shenanigans of our local tabloid to the sports blogosphere. After posting it early last Friday, Clemens butt has become the online buzz post-Mitchell Report release. You saw it here first, folks. We highly doubt all the big sites frequent the local Trenton papers the way we do.

It now seems our reach goes far beyond the online community. Perusing our favorite SI section, SI Players, where we generally scour for the next Shane Victorino or Will Demps, we found something that made us leap from our seats.

Sign the Apocalypse is upon us: HHR scoops SI's print edition (Page 22).

Notes (Exchange) on a Scandal

It was the headline that got me: US sportswriters urge end to sluggers' 'freak show.' Professional Sportswriters (for lack of a better term) are finally calling out the players for their misdeeds and what they have done to the league and the game. This is interesting for two reasons. The first is a general acknowledgment that the Mitchell Report confirms many things that sportswriters and players had heard all along. So where were the (pre-Barry Bonds) stories? The media professionals are just as culpable for letting this go on as the players. A-Rod hangs out with a mann-ish stripper and ESPN's all over it right away, but the McGuire v Sosa home run battle? Crickets.

Second, if I'm a player (and I am.. ROWR! Ladies, call me!) then I would have a few choice words for the sportswriters of America. Namely, inquiring if the collective beat reporters' online notes-exchange sites have been terminated. Remember that? All the way back to March of this year. To review, Boston Globe Reporter Ron Borges was suspended because he plagiarized from another publication, and acknowledge his source material was an online community of sports reporters who upload their notes with the understanding that they could use others' in exchange. Who says the MSM hasn't learned anything in the internet age? This is journalistic Napster, people.

Dan Shanoff and Deadspin both discussed the larger implications of widespread sports plagiarism, so there's nothing for to add. But a briefly exposed and conveniently forgotten reporters' online notes-exchange is the same kind of performance enhancement for which our righteous professional sportswriters crucify the players. Just because you're not getting a needle in the ass, doesn't mean it's not cheating. Then again, it's only cheating if you get caught, right?