Buzzer Beater at Fenway

For a game without a clock, it's not too often you get to celebrate a buzzerbeater.

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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

Can you hear Manny now?

From yesterday's game...

Ironic Manny is the missing letter that spells out 'Lost.'

From Extra Bases -Boston Red Sox blog

Mike Lowell Has a Golden Paddle

It's the start of Spring Training in Red Sox Nation and naturally the dependable gamers and workhorses like Youkilis, Lowell, and ROY Pedroia are hitting the cages, shagging balls, and... oh wait. Strike that. They are playing ping pong in the batting cages, to compete for the coveted Golden Paddle. Ummm yeah.

Click to see Youk's hot, fast wrist action.

Between this competition and his season long cribbage match with Francona, I think Pedroia might just become King of the Rec Room Olympics one day.

But the important part of all this is that we live in a world where these three 'guys are goofing off while Manny Ramirez talks to the media (!), says he wants to stay in Boston, and is working out like a maniac.

Please proceed straight to your underground bunker.

Misleading Headline: Paps Smeared Spears?

Photo: MLB.com

Star Magazine: Britney: Flirting With Disaster! See Pics Of Brit & The Pap!

Damn misleading headlines.

Shelley Duncan's Notebook is Back

And it's not pulling any punches, even when it comes to his own teammate.

Paps Smeared a Piece of Sawx History

I've been waiting a year to work a Paps/Smear joke into a post. I thank Paps for giving me the opportunity. (Someone at the Trentonian needs to hire me).

The dog ate it? Closer's canine reportedly chews on history

I Thought You Said That You Was Alright Spida

Read this interview in SI with Michael "Spider" Imperioli:

Q&A: Michael Imperioli

Aside from being shocked that he is 41, I was highly impressed and amsused.

Particularly liked this quote:

"In acting, everything is OK. If it's all right that I put someone's head through a window, than I guess it's OK to wear a Met uniform."

That's called a professional, Ben Affleck. Mumbling, stuttering, little f*ck.



--

Update!

Painting compliments of Harvey_Bars at Yardbarker and Tirico Suave.

"Look at this. It's beautiful. One dog goes one way and the other goes the other. One's facing east, the other west. He's saying, 'Whaddya want from me?'"

Application for the Nation

This was an email forwarded to me by my close (but gloating) Sox friend Bosis. I found it amusing. FYI to Sox Nation- If the Yanks do eventually return to a World Series and actually win, Sox fans are in for a ton a shit. It's not going to be pretty. This man crush the media has on all things Boston related is just aggitating now. And payback won't even be clever like this email. It will just be a solid punch to the face. Your mom won't even see it coming.

NEW YORK YANKEES TO BOSTON RED SOX CONVERSION FORM

Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the Boston Red Sox Fan Club. Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently processing only fan conversion registrations for New York Yankee fans. Conversion requests from other teams will be accepted once all Yankee requests are processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based upon the current backlog of requests.

Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below to help us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to recover from > your previous fan experience.

Name: _______________________________
Address:______________________________
Who's Your Daddy: ____________________

1. Please select your favorite recent Yankee new player acquisition:
[ ] Roger Clemens $20 million, six wins, one groin pull
[ ] Alex Rodriquez $92 million, no title, Ha!
[ ] Derek Jeter $123 million since last won world series
[ ] Jason Giambi $91 million, no title, lots of roid sweat
[ ] Carl Pavano $27 million, five wins

2. Which of the following would you most like to see as the most played
YES Network "Great Moments in Yankee History" film clip in 2008:
[ ] Rivera's "shocking" blown save in Game 4, 2004
[ ] Rivera's "shocking" blown save in Game 5, 2004
[ ] The awesome wild card clincher celebration
[ ] Wang getting hammered in Game 1
[ ] Wang getting hammered in Game 2
[ ] Jeter's first GIDP
[ ] Jeter's second GIDP
[ ] Jeter's third GIDP

3. Please indicate the last book you read:
[ ] Someday, in my lifetime, the Yankees will get to the LCS
[ ] Suicide Hotline - It's not just for Cubs' fans anymore
[ ] The Heimlich Maneuver -- What to do when choking

4. Which recent Yankees personnel move did you enjoy most:
[ ] Not winning the posting for Matsuzaka
[ ] Winning the posting for Kei Igawa

5. Which following designation best describes Derek Jeter's performance in this year's ALDS:
[ ] Captain Intangibles
[ ] Captain GIDP
[ ] Captain & Tenille

6. Please choose your favorite movie:
[ ] Anger Management
[ ] Hunt for Red October
[ ] Damned Yankees
[ ] Still We Believe

7. Finish this sentence: "Alex Rodriquez is
a. overrated
b. overpaid
c. overdue
d. overly prissy
e. over

8. Select the most vociferous, stupid, and annoying Yankee fan:
[ ] Washed up "comic" hack and Yanks personal ballwasher Billy Crystal
[ ] Front-running celebrity phony Jack Nicholson
[ ] Tim McCarver

9 .Are you ready to admit that:
a. Ted Williams was better than Joe DiMaggio?
b. Carlton Fisk was better than Thurman Munson?
c. Even Manny Ramirez is faster than Bernie Williams?
d. Reggie Jackson was a better outfielder than Matsui?
e. Derek Jeter has less range than a kumquat
f. No self-respecting parasite would invade Jason Giambi?

10. Please indicate your favorite moments in Yankee history: (Check all that apply):
[ ] Alex Rodriquez is traded to the Yankees
[ ] Don Mattingly never wins a World Series
[ ] The Yankees let Clemens get away
[ ] The Yankees get Clemens back
[ ] Giambi's steroid abuse causes his body to collapse like a screen door in a hurricane.
[ ] The bugs eat Joba

11 . Have you experienced any of the following after the embarrassing four
game collapse? (Check all that apply)
[ ] Headache
[ ] Uncontrol led An ger
[ ] Heartache
[ ] Holes punched in doors or walls
[ ] Nausea
[ ] Smashed TV screens
[ ] Depression and Broken Dreams
[ ] Avoided Red Sox fans for days or weeks

Once you have completed this form, please forward it to Fenway Park. Then burn all your remaining Yankee clothing, memorabilia, and associated reminders. After reviewing your request, the Red Sox Fan Club will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection.

I hereby acknowledge that the real "curse" is being a Yankee Fan.

I hereby renounce the New York Yankees for all eternity on this the ______
day of ________________, 200__

(This is a credit to whoever wrote this email. Well done. Douche)

Part 5: the chief Red Sox Parade Photo Diary

Click images to enlarge...

Below: World Series Trophy



Below: World Series Trophy Drive Thru.



Below: I just liked this. This is what it the whole parade felt like to me. If that's too profound or abstract for your ass, don't worry, Power Rankings will be back tomorrow.

Part 4: the chief Red Sox Parade Photo Diary

Click Photos to enlarge...

Below: Pedroia, bottom right. And that's Yoooooouuuuk in the top right corner, accompanied by an empty box of Natty Light - the official beverages of dirt dogs (and vagrants).


Below: Dice K actually waves to HHR. He is being trailed by every single member of the Japanese media.



Below: The bullpen band actually brought equipment. This is bizarre. They don't actually know how to play. Yet, what the hell, give them some bongos. They're gonna get drowned out by...


Below: Oh God. Here comes Papelbon. You can probably hear the Dropkick Murphys just by looking at the picture.


Below: Paps was dancing most of the way, but by the time he got to us, he was chillin' with Okajima and playing a broom guitar. Naturally.

Part 3: the chief Red Sox Parade Photo Diary

Part 2: the chief Red Sox Parade Photo Diary

Tito's Head says: OBEY

Proof that people will stand in front of anything...

...With anybody.

Channel 7's own Frances Rivera is helpful

Part 1: the chief Red Sox Parade Photo Diary

From just outside the chief's office: "Freaking 10:30. Unreal."

Separated at Birth: Oh the Wackiness

Papelbon headlines Sox parade
By Associated Press

Jonathan Papelbon will take his wacky Irish jig on the road Tuesday when the Boston Red Sox hold their World Series victory parade.



Oh those wacky Irish dancers.

Red Sox Championship parade.

I got no words. But I WILL have excellent pictures of the Sox parade in Boston as my office window is directly on the parade route.

Until then, this is all I can say...



-posted by the chief

The Curse of Mientkiewicz

Ariel, too, wonders when will this suffering end? Woe is Boston.



UPDATE!

Separated at birth?

Notes the chief...

It appears Bristol has taken to ripping off the Onion Sports:

Red Sox Attempt To Break Fabled 'Curse Of Relief Pitcher Curtis Leskanic'

Counters Ren...

The Onion piece is dated 10/25/07, while ESPN's the day before (10/24/07).

What Exactly Am I Missing Here?

HHR presents...Real F'n Toolboxes. Today we salute you Mr. Boston Red Sox pitcher stuck in 1995.

"Yeah hi. Josh? Dave Navarro here. I want my look back."
(Photo: sittingstill.net)

All day we've seen nothing but praise for how bad-ass Josh Beckett allegedly is. Why? Because he blamed a guy for dropping his bat on what he thought was ball four? Because he dropped an f-bomb at a post-game press conference regarding his old trim singing the National Anthem?

Remember when Ryan Howard hit a bomb in spring training that fell a bit short and Beckett thought he looked at it a bit too long and took offense?

Hey. Jack off. Get over yourself.

You play a game for a living half a year and once every 5 days.

Take your frat boy flavor-saver and hemp and seashell necklaces and act like a professional. Grow up.

Yeah. Great. You throw a little white ball fast. My God that's wonderful. Go yell and scream and piss and moan and stomp because you have no control over your emotions because someone "stepped to you. "

It's funny because usually we only lose our emotions when we DO care about things and they DO really bother us. And sometimes we even make snappy 8th grade comebacks like "yeah thanks for flying my friend out for free." But you are the exception to that rule. You only get emotional and/or dismissive when things DONT bother you. You're too cool for school, my man. Gotta get me a necklace. And a soul patch.

But yeah. We get it. You're emotional. But guess what? So was this guy. Doesn't make you tough.

Cleveland Schemers

Deadspin: Here's your ex

So.... did they really think this little trick was going to work? Shame on you, Cleveland. Shame on you.

Rather than rely on home-field advantage, momentum, etc, they have decided to parade Sox ace and tonight's starting pitcher Josh Beckett's ex-girlfriend out on the field, just prior to the opening pitch to sing the national anthem.

Now, they claim that they didn't know. Whatever. If they did know, and they thought it would play a head game with Beckett, then I think that was a weak, feeble, and sad attempt at some sort of advantage. Both parties involved are professionals, and this sort of fateful meeting shouldn't matter to either of them. If they each do their job to the best of their ability, then well, it'll all be forgotten about quicker than you can say "Chief Wawhoo."

Both Beckett and his ex are famous, though I have honestly never heard of the girl. They probably switch relationships as often as Clevelanders switch underpants (though, that might not be saying much..... Bazzziiinngggg!) and could give a crap about seeing one other.

Seriously though, this was news today?

-posted by Ariel

Never...I said NEVER

I usually leave stuff like this to the experts, like Awful Announcing , but I had to mention this little sound bite of stupidity.

Chip Caray, who has been uninformed, pompous and terrible, was discussing the Yankees bringing in Mussina to relieve Wang.

"Aside from a August appearance, Mike Mussina has never had a relief appearance."

He put a huge stress on the word never.

Ask Yankee, or even Red Sox fans, if Mussina has ever come in for a relief appearance and they will mutter something about a Game 7 in New York, and an idiot named Grady Little and an extra inning homerun by a third baseman hitting like .190 on the season....well....it doesn't matter. Mussina has come in in relief before. But Chip said NEVER so we will trust him because he has mounds of papers and stats in front of him and we have our little tiny brains.

Wait two minutes.

"Mussina does have one relief appearance in the playoffs."

Oh, so by NEVER, Caray meant one.

Jimmy Fallon will eventually kill your franchise

I came across this little blurb on the NY Post Gossip section:

SIGHTING: Jimmy Fallon and Rangers Sean Avery and Brendan Shanahan at the Waverly Inn after the Blueshirts won their season home opener

I really thought nothing of it until I saw this on ESPN.com

Avery suffers separated shoulder after taking hit

Then I remembered reading this back in 2004 during the Sox run, the Yankee collapse and the abortion know as Fever Pitch.

"I was never really serious with one team. I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets ... then I got to "Saturday Night Live" where my boss has unbelievable N.Y. Yankees tickets, so he invites us to the games. I'm going to all the games, so I might as well root for the team I'm gonna go sit with. I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I'm really rooting for the Red Sox." -Jimmy Fallon

The first thing lesson in all this is all you need is a pair of premium seats and Fallon is your best friend and a fan of the home team toot-sweet. But let’s dig deeper.

Fallon claims he began a Mets fan, so he was about 12 when they won the World Series in 1986. At twelve years old, a kid is into sports but is probably more concerned with touching girl’s boobies or lighting things on fire. But he was still a fan. Since 1986, the Mets have done bump kiss except a few NLCS losses, a World Series appearance (more on that in a second) and a fluky “worst collapse in baseball history.”

Fallon’s tenure on SNL ran from 1998-2006, in which he was a Yankee fan till that 2004 quote. So he was “rooting for them” during two World Series victories, two series losses to Arizona and Florida and a couple first round exits. One of those World Series wins was against Fallon’s first team, the New York Mets. When you are putting the kibosh on two teams, one must lose, usually the team you killed for so long (in this case, the Mets.)

Don’t believe that theory? Fine, let’s look at 2004 where Fallon’s new-old team (Yankees) lost to his new-new team (Sox) in historic fashion. It would have been a normal loss if Fallon wasn’t filming a movie about being a tortured Sox fan. The premise being his love for a team that always breaks his heart and loses. And we know the baseball god’s love irony so they had to let the Sox win the World Series. Since then? A 2005 ALDS loss to the White Sox and a 2006 playoff no-show last season.

If Fallon shows up at an ALCS game wearing a Sox, Yankees or Indians hat all hell could break loose. But luckily for those fan bases, Jimmy has now turned his attention to hockey.

According to SI.com, the Rangers are a preseason favorite for Atlantic Conference champs and a Stanley Cup appearance.

This could either mean a Rangers Stanley Cup win or a huge disappointment; beginning with…oh I don’t know…a separated shoulder for a key player.

Still don’t believe me? Ask Horatio Sanz and IBM.