Part 5: the chief Red Sox Parade Photo Diary

Click images to enlarge...

Below: World Series Trophy



Below: World Series Trophy Drive Thru.



Below: I just liked this. This is what it the whole parade felt like to me. If that's too profound or abstract for your ass, don't worry, Power Rankings will be back tomorrow.

Part 4: the chief Red Sox Parade Photo Diary

Click Photos to enlarge...

Below: Pedroia, bottom right. And that's Yoooooouuuuk in the top right corner, accompanied by an empty box of Natty Light - the official beverages of dirt dogs (and vagrants).


Below: Dice K actually waves to HHR. He is being trailed by every single member of the Japanese media.



Below: The bullpen band actually brought equipment. This is bizarre. They don't actually know how to play. Yet, what the hell, give them some bongos. They're gonna get drowned out by...


Below: Oh God. Here comes Papelbon. You can probably hear the Dropkick Murphys just by looking at the picture.


Below: Paps was dancing most of the way, but by the time he got to us, he was chillin' with Okajima and playing a broom guitar. Naturally.

Part 3: the chief Red Sox Parade Photo Diary

Part 2: the chief Red Sox Parade Photo Diary

Tito's Head says: OBEY

Proof that people will stand in front of anything...

...With anybody.

Channel 7's own Frances Rivera is helpful

Part 1: the chief Red Sox Parade Photo Diary

From just outside the chief's office: "Freaking 10:30. Unreal."

Separated at Birth: Oh the Wackiness

Papelbon headlines Sox parade
By Associated Press

Jonathan Papelbon will take his wacky Irish jig on the road Tuesday when the Boston Red Sox hold their World Series victory parade.



Oh those wacky Irish dancers.

What Exactly Am I Missing Here?

HHR presents...Real F'n Toolboxes. Today we salute you Mr. Boston Red Sox pitcher stuck in 1995.

"Yeah hi. Josh? Dave Navarro here. I want my look back."
(Photo: sittingstill.net)

All day we've seen nothing but praise for how bad-ass Josh Beckett allegedly is. Why? Because he blamed a guy for dropping his bat on what he thought was ball four? Because he dropped an f-bomb at a post-game press conference regarding his old trim singing the National Anthem?

Remember when Ryan Howard hit a bomb in spring training that fell a bit short and Beckett thought he looked at it a bit too long and took offense?

Hey. Jack off. Get over yourself.

You play a game for a living half a year and once every 5 days.

Take your frat boy flavor-saver and hemp and seashell necklaces and act like a professional. Grow up.

Yeah. Great. You throw a little white ball fast. My God that's wonderful. Go yell and scream and piss and moan and stomp because you have no control over your emotions because someone "stepped to you. "

It's funny because usually we only lose our emotions when we DO care about things and they DO really bother us. And sometimes we even make snappy 8th grade comebacks like "yeah thanks for flying my friend out for free." But you are the exception to that rule. You only get emotional and/or dismissive when things DONT bother you. You're too cool for school, my man. Gotta get me a necklace. And a soul patch.

But yeah. We get it. You're emotional. But guess what? So was this guy. Doesn't make you tough.

You Say D-Backs, I Say D-Bags

Let's call the whole thing off.

It's official. Our New Era is as smart as Steve Phillips.


Both "accurately" hit .500 in their LDS picks.

The Hat had NYY vs. BOS and PHI vs. ARZ
Phillips picked NYY vs. BOS and COL vs. CHC

Great work guys.

Here's a Guy Who's Free of Frank TV

As far as baseball is concerned, today I am a free man. Free from the Yankees in the postseason, and free from them in the next regular season, should Steinbrenner actually follow through and release the best manager in baseball. But most importantly, today I am free of Frank TV. With the subtly and nuance of a roundhouse kick to the neck, TBS pitched this show relentlessly. I've kicked seen orphaned puppies who look less desperate. At the close of every inning, during pitching changes, between twelve packs - there he was mailing in a Jack Nicholson or Joe Pesci impression. But something sinister happened: he became a fixture during events I associated with great joy - the Sox sweep, the Yankees loss, The "We-Won!" sexings of the wife - all of it. Frank became the last voice I heard before falling asleep, and unfortunately my first thought when I woke up. Clearly I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome - eventually commenting favorably during the George Bush impressions, or voicing satisfaction with a Robin Williams mimic. I began to wonder: who is this man, this chameleon of celebrity, this Fort Knox of comic gold?! Mercifully, just as I was sucked in, the ALDS and NLDS ended with three sweeps and a quick Yankees exit. And because the ALCS is on Fox, no more scrolling to that mystery channel TBS is on to see him impersonate Dustin Hoffman. No more f'n teasers of a blubbering John Madden wielding a baseball bat. We get it, he's heavily medicated and linguistically disoriented. Hilariously so.

The irony of it all is that the best impersonation on TBS is performed by Jose Mota, who consistently and eerily channels Eddie Murphy's Undercover White Guy. I eagerly await his sketch show, debuting in November of 2008.



-posted by the cheif

Talkin' Playoffs

Face of the Franchise, Part Deux: AL

Yankees: We'd love to have the Yanks represented by superfan Andrew Giuliani, but Wade Boggs threatened to kick our fat lips in if we didn't choose him.



Red Sox: We wanted to say, Nelson de la Rosa, but Wade Boggs threatened to kick our fat lips in if we didn't choose him.



Blue Jays: ARod's stripper...just beat out Rance Mulliniks



Devil Rays: There is an MLB team in Tampa? Well, if we must pick, we'd pick lazy Bobby Abreau, but Wade Boggs threatened to kick our fat lips in if we didn't choose him.

Orioles: Billy F-Face Ripken



White Sox: Ozzie Guillen: He's so popular in Chi-Town, that a gay bar named a drink after him, the "Effen Ozzie GuillenTini."



Indians: Rick Vaughn: He of the California Penal League fame.

Tigers: Moneyballer & Jersey Boy Chris Pittaro: Said Sparky Anderson. “Chris Pittaro is the best young player I’ve had in 15 years.” Damn you, Lou Whitaker. Damn you.

Royals: Willie Wilson, of 1980 WS fame.



Twins: Billy Heywood.

Mariners: Jim Bouton: OK, well he was a Pilot, but who's counting, so tell your statistics to shut up.

Angels: Tony Danza: Aye, Oh, Oh, Aye! There's Angelers in the Outfield, Samanta! Go tell Jonatin.



A's: Jose Canseco: He keeps it real.



Rangers: Dubya: Don't mess with Texas.