From The D.C. Bureau: James Loney Is Probably On Steroids

From Special Agent Blue Pulaski, DC Bureau (Blame him if Loney decides to go Ibanez on blogs)


Apparently, Man-Ram really had an effect on one of his teamates. Think of all that tired "Manny being Manny" talk back before he was outed as a hormonal female. This morning, the L.A. Times breaks some news with a profile on Dodgers first baseman James Loney. The Times quotes teammates who describe Loney's personality with suspiciously Manny-esque adjectives such as "dumb," "spacey," and "unaffected."

However, the case against Loney gets really interesting when you read pitcher Randy Wolf's comments about Loney's physical appearance, "Crazy legs and crazy eyes. He's like a baby giraffe."

While they don't come right out and say it, is it possible his teammates are trying to tell us something?

"He's very left-handed," Randy Wolf says. "He's out there."

Follow us on Twitter @HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

Only In Philadelphia

Would fans spend years belittling Pat Burrell for his perennial under-performance, only to scoff at the idea of trading him for a two-time World Series-winning, first ballot Hall of Famer and the greatest RBI producer of his generation when such rumors surface.

"No, seriously. I've ALWAYS loved Pat Burrell."
Photo: Finger Food

Phils-ville's Kevin Cooney adds " some things up on why this deal won’t happen."

Here's his justification and my rebuttal:

1) Ramirez is a locker room cancer. With the exception of the Jimmy Rollins episode, the Phils locker room seems pretty together.

Really? Seems like a fun-loving guy to me, aside from the whole punching out the traveling secretary thing.

But let's get serious. Charlie brought Manny up, and for all the Phils' skipper's shortcomings, he seems the perfect guy to keep Manny in check.

For the record, I believe you mean "Jimmy Rollins episodes."

2) Ramirez and Burrell’s numbers are eerily similar this season. Burrell’s probably a better defensive outfielder as well.

This season. Say no more.

The Phillies have been trying to unload Burrell for years with no success. If you can get rid of him, and suppose Manny doesn't work out, you acquire a greater bargaining chip and commodity in Ramirez. He either helps you himself or helps you acquire tallent.

3) Ramirez would likely want the Phils to pick up the $20 million option for next season- an event that probably won’t happen. Especially when Ryan Howard and Cole Hamels will likely get big awards in arbitration/new contracts over the winter.

And the Phils will likely underperform in the playoffs, if they in fact make them.

The move would electrify the city and make a frustrating Howard expendible.

If we are dealing in hypotheticals I'd ask, "What if Kevin Cooney had some real insight to offer readers?"

4) While the Phillies need a bat, they really need someone who can get on base- not just hit for power. If you take Burrell out and move Ramirez in, its the same beast.

Kevin Cooney just put Pat Burrell on the same level as Manny Ramirez.

Only in Philadelphia.

Can you hear Manny now?

From yesterday's game...

Ironic Manny is the missing letter that spells out 'Lost.'

From Extra Bases -Boston Red Sox blog

Manny Lost His Troll Doll

Back in 2006, I openly pined for Julian Tavarez to be shot out of a cannon into space, and further requested that the cannon be calibrated with Rudy Seanez. Seanez was finally shipped out, but Tavarez remained. Until yesterday. Thank you Sean Casey.

The Red Sox today activated first baseman Sean Casey today from the disabled list. To make room for Casey, the team designated pitcher Julian Tavarez for assignment. The team now has 10 days to either work out a trade for Tavarez or grant him his outright release.

As of yesterday, the Red Sox had still been talking with the Rockies about a deal for Tavarez, who is 0-1 with a 6.39 ERA after he allowed an unearned run in 1 1/3 innings last night.

The bigger question for Red Sox fans is this: What is Manny going to do without his little troll doll now?

I remember when Pedro and that little guy he carried all over the place had a falling out (and then the little dude coincidentally died.... probably of a broken heart) - but this is different. This is the Red Sox playing the heavy. Personally I think it's for hitting into the shortstop last night in a terrible pinch-hitting performance.

In conclusion, this entire post exists just to replay one of my favorite videos ever:



Between Remy's wheezing and Don Orsillo begging, "Make him stop!" I can't think of a finer moment that perfectly encpsulates Manny Ramirez.

Dubya Being Dubya

Manny shuns Dubya. Dubya jabs Manny. Jimmy Kimmel (when not effing Ben Affleck) hits Dubya.

Don't Tase Me, Bro

Photo: Botsonist.com

Man-Ram (being Man-Ram) once got flack for wearing Oakley Thumps in the outfield. Thank your lucky stars that crazy sumbitch doesn't go jogging with the iTaser: A combined stun gun-MP3 player may well be the most bizarre gadget to be unveiled at this year's Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas.