Showing posts with label Los Angeles Dodgers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Los Angeles Dodgers. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Comedian Aaron Karo talks sports, crazy Lakers fans and the art of texting your private parts



In 1997, as a college freshman, Aaron Karo sent a semi-drunk but hysterical email of his observations about a night out to twenty of his friends at different schools. That email turned into a weekly column, called Ruminations, with a fan base of over a hundred thousand subscribers.

Since then, Karo has published three books and gone on to a successful comedy career. Karo’s latest stand-up special The Rest Is History airs on Comedy Central on November 19th at 11pm.

Aaron sat down with us to talk sports, fandom and penis pictures.

Did You Watch The World Series?

No. I'm a huge Yankees fan and I think the two best teams didn't make the World Series. It should have been Yankees and Phillies again but neither team had that "it" that people talk about. I just didn't care about the Rangers or the Giants. On Pardon the Interruption Tony Kornheiser was saying how no one cares and Wilbon argued that real sports fans cared. Eh, I'm a real sports fan and didn't really care.

They tried to make us care with the backstories too. I think we were supposed to cheer for the Rangers because Josh Hamilton used to do drugs.

Yeah. We are also supposed to love a good pitching match-up. Nah, no one really wants to see a one run game. It's boring. I want to see 9-8 with four lead changes. I'd want to see a no hitter but after that I want a slugfest. Although, even though I'm a huge baseball fan, I'll be the first to admit it's painful to watch an entire baseball game now. It's just so long and slow. Something has to be done. Even watching a playoff game takes forever.

You live on the West Coast now but grew up back East. Is there a difference between fans on the coasts?

Well, LA is a Lakers town. Dodgers isn't really as big a deal and I'm not really sure people know what the hell the Kings are around here. I feel like on the East coast all the sports are equally big or at least closer to each other in the attention they get from people. Boston, New York and those towns people pay attention to the other sports too. Fans in the East just seemed much rowdier and always harder to please. The California mindset translates over to sports. Going to a Lakers game is like going to a club to some people. It's not even a sporting event. Lakers fans are the worst though. I went to a sports bar for game 6 of the World Series when the Yankees clinched. About forty TVs are on the World Series and one game is on Lakers and Rockets and these dudes where going bonkers over the Lakers game. They were drowning out Game 6 of the World Series for game 6 of the basketball regular season. It's like "calm down fellas. Nice Lakers jersey, who are you Fletch?" You'll see a car with seven Lakers flags and a busted muffler and headlight. Spend come of that extra cash on fixing your car instead of team gear.

Ever been to a Dodgers game?

Yes, a couple years ago. They were in contention. It wasn't bad. I just remember getting hyped up for this Dodger Dog people were raving about and it was just a regular damn hot dog.

Do they also all leave in the 6th inning to beat traffic?

Yeah, but every stadium does a little of that because who the hell wants to sit in traffic. I've only been to one Dodgers game so I can't judge too much. Also, let's not forget to mention the Clippers. The world's most irrelevant team. No one cares about them, they are never good. I'm not sure why they exist. Last season my buddy called me because he had free floor seats to a Clippers game and wanted me to go and I was like "Um. No." It tells you a great deal about a franchise that a person said no to floor seats for an NBA game.

What's one thing you love about sports right now and one thing that pisses me off?

Predictions piss me off the most. I watch PTI and Around The Horn religiously but sometimes I don't get to watch until after all the games they discussed are over and usually everything they predict about the games are wrong. But they never admit it. They twist it around but never go "yep, I was wrong on this." The best part all depends on whether my teams are doing well or not.

Here is one thing we hate, that you can probably relate to: how long is Fox going to employ Tim McCarver?

Actually, oddly, I don't mind McCarver. I don't think he is that awful.

You're killing us.

He isn't really that bad. I also don't hate Bill Walton but everyone else seems to. I also like Dan Lebatard. He is one of my favorites. He is just more logical about stuff. You know who I didn't like that TBS crew with Ron Darling. He sounds too much like James Woods it was freaking me out. You know who I don't like is Ron Jaworski. How many damn times can the dude say the word football? "This football game. This football team." It's awful.

One last thing I wanted to discuss; the whole Brett Favre/Jenn Sterger thing. It's kind of died down a little but wanted to get your take on the matter because a lot of your act is about dating and dealing with women. Am I crazy in thinking there had to be some type of relationship because a man doesn't just send pictures of his junk without there being something more going on.

Well, you're looking at it from a normal guy perspective. Don't assume the way famous people operate is the same as you and I. If we were going after a girl it would be call, text then Facebook and then a couple more forms of contact. This is Brett Favre. He is famous. For him it might be "phone call, phone call, d*ck pic." The rules of dating don't apply to famous people.

So the picture could have been his move?

It's like his "2 minute drill." He only has a short amount of time to get this all done. He just goes into the shotgun, calls and audible and BOOM penis picture.

Aaron Karo’s stand-up special The Rest Is History premieres on November 19th at 11 pm on Comedy Central. The uncut/uncensored album and video will be released digitally on November 20th through New Wave Dynamics.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Don't Hate Tommy, Hate Yourself...

Look who showed up to a CA gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman "Gen-M" mixer this past weekend. Some leopard printed vixen... AND former Dodgers and US Olympic coach, Tommy Lasorda.


-HHR's Chief Stalkerazzi Blue Pulaski

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Monday, November 16, 2009

Fernandomania!

I am now the proud owner of a Fernando Valenzuela Kern's Strawberry Nectar "Delicioso!" poster.


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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Separated at Birth: Fat Joe Martin

I had been wondering all series why Dodger C Russell Martin's jersey reads "J. Martin". Now I relaize it's in reference to his alter-ego, rapper Fat Joe.


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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Lasorda Portrait Remarkably Accurate in Portraying "Frumpiness"

Simply an amazing representation of Lasorda's flubby, formless body.


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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

From The D.C. Bureau: James Loney Is Probably On Steroids

From Special Agent Blue Pulaski, DC Bureau (Blame him if Loney decides to go Ibanez on blogs)


Apparently, Man-Ram really had an effect on one of his teamates. Think of all that tired "Manny being Manny" talk back before he was outed as a hormonal female. This morning, the L.A. Times breaks some news with a profile on Dodgers first baseman James Loney. The Times quotes teammates who describe Loney's personality with suspiciously Manny-esque adjectives such as "dumb," "spacey," and "unaffected."

However, the case against Loney gets really interesting when you read pitcher Randy Wolf's comments about Loney's physical appearance, "Crazy legs and crazy eyes. He's like a baby giraffe."

While they don't come right out and say it, is it possible his teammates are trying to tell us something?

"He's very left-handed," Randy Wolf says. "He's out there."





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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

Thursday, April 30, 2009

FanFoodie.com: Philippe's Los Angeles - An Eatery & An Institution


Philippe’s, an institution in downtown Los Angeles, is known not only for its french dip au jus sandwiches but the atomic hot mustard accessory that is "eat at your own risk."

Located on the backside of downtown in a building that was originally a machine shop on the bottom and an Inn on top, it is the go-to place before Dodger, Laker and Clipper games. They serve beer and wine at a price worth going out of your way for to get your grub and chug on before you tackle the expensive concession stands at game-time.


Read the Rest at FanFoodie.com


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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Lasorda, Not Web Presence, Key to Turning Around HoFer Jim Bunning's Lousy Fundraising

Senator, please show us how much money you've raised so far.

Baseball Hall of Famer and embattled US Senator Jim Bunning admitted in a conference call with Kentucky reporters that his fundraising for his 2010 re-election bid has been "lousy."

From Politico: "Bunning’s remarks aren’t likely to sit well with his party’s leadership, whom the Kentucky senator has repeatedly clashed with in recent weeks. Bunning has accused National Republican Senatorial Committee Chairman John Cornyn of Texas of trying to stunt his fundraising."

Something else that might be stunting his fundraising is that fact that, unlike just about every politician and candidate alive from President to Dog Catcher who has been embracing the Interwebs as a social, communications and fundraising tool, Bunning doesn't even seem to have an active campaign website.

The above article mentioned a fundraiser the Senator will be holding with Dodger mascot Tommy Lasorda. I'd tell you more about the event, but best I can find on his re-election bid is a site created for his 2004 race.


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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

Friday, November 21, 2008

Phillie Fans Gave Bowa a Chubby

I came across a goldmine of unintentional comedy when I recently inherited a 1980 Philadelphia Phillies yearbook.

I'll be periodically scanning things in and posting both here and at Gem Mint Ten.

For all his virtues as well as shortcomings, there is one thing that is certain when it comes to Phillies legend Larry Bowa...he LOVES baseball (and The Supremes).

Click to Enlarge...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Separated At Birth: It's Always Sunny in LA

Embarrassed by his .227/0 RBI NLCS performance, at least Andre Ethier can tell people around Hollywood that he's actually "Sunny" star Rob McElhenney.

Preserving History: Brotherly Love

After each major sporting event, HHR takes a look at how it is portrayed in news print in some of the nation's leading dailies. Part out of curiosity, and part to preserve the dying medium.

To many, this might not seem monumental. But to those in SE PA, South Jersey and Delaware, it's been a long time coming. As one fan described it on the live post-game news cast from Chickie & Pete's "It's once in a lifetime." Now, I'm not that old, and I've been alive for 3 pennants, but I digress.








Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Win or Lose Tonight, Philly Taking Security Precautions

Philly.com's Sam Wood reports "If the Phils win tonight, increased Phila. police patrols."
If the Philadelphia Phillies defeat the Los Angeles Dodgers and clinch a World Series berth tonight, the city will have an increased police presence to handle boisterous fans.

Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey said extra police patrols would be out in locations determined by previous Philadelphia sports championship celebrations.
In the meantime, word on the street that should the Phillies lose tonight and games return to Philadelphia, SEPTA will be taking extra security precaution by enlisting the Rock N' Roll Express, Midnight Express, Lex Express, Ryan Express and the Marrakesh Express in lieu of its Sports Express.

Go ahead. Try to jump a turnstile...





Monday, October 13, 2008

Observations From This Weekend's LCS Games

What's harder to swallow? The Bud Light push to make baseball fans believe the beer is drinkable?

Or the fact that the MLB Playoff house band features a guy popped for drinking and driving with his 10-year old kid in the car?

That's why IIIII. Looooove. This Toooown.

Say hey. Say HEY!


Josh Beckett goes to great lengths to insist that he's healthy. Stops short of citing his voodoo charms as justification. Does not deny being a douchebag.

Phillies fans started a "Beat LA" chant in Philly on Friday to which Phil's radio announcer Larry Anderson commented, "I resent that."

Things a little tiring in LA:
  • Manny's (who is looking more and more like the wacky alien in the Ethan Hawke/River Phoenix 1985 classic "Explorers") pockmarks & mouthpiece.
Athletes can achieve their optimal performance by submitting to a dental procedure that combines electronic stimulation, measurement and analysis to create a custom "pure power mouthpiece" (PPM), according to its orthdondist inventor and others certified to perform the technique. As unlikely as it sounds, major league athletes such as the Boston Red Sox's Manny Ramirez are wearing the PPM to improve performance, sans drugs.
Hmmm. Does it also cause you to be batshit crazy and have your face break out in pockmarks? And I bet Boston fans love Manny going nuts over Billingsley not showing a "team-like" attitude in failing to retaliate when he gets hit by pitches. Beckett should have plunked him for tanking in Beantown.


  • "I love LA"
  • Tim McCarver
  • LA celebrity shots
  • Nomar's ADD
  • Russell Martin crying
  • Growing a beard does not make you Red Sox-esq.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Brett "Hit Man" Myers


Brett Myers can keep denying in press conferences that he is a "hitter," but police reports tell us otherwise. Bazzzzzzing!

Go Phils.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Tim McCarver Doesn't Know Sh*t from Shinola

Let me break this down for you, Tim...



With the Philadelphia leading the Dodgers 3-2, Phillies' skipper Uncle Charlie Manuel (undoubtedly after consulting with his boy Dooobey) brought Ryan Madsen in in relief of starter Cole Hamels in the top of the 8th. With Andre Ethier leading off, announcer Tim McCarver went on to praise Madsen as having the "best change-up on the staff" no less than twice in that at-bat and once after it.

Unbeknown the the viewing audience, McCarver, despite announcing the game, apparently slept through the first seven innings. He obviously missed the "keys to the game" feature in the beginning which noted Hamels' "All-World" change-up, and the 8 strikeouts the starter threw.

No offense to Madsen, who allowed one-hit and no damage facing the heart of LA's order, but anyone who knows sh*t from shinola knows Cole Hamels once struck somebody out with a 3-1 changeup.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

MLB Playoff Teams as VH1's 100 Greatest Hip Hop Songs

As VH1 prepares to roll out this year's Hip Hop Honors, the music channel has been counting down the 100 Greatest Hip Hop Songs all this week. In honor of hip hops pioneers, and their contributions to making MLB fitteds fashionable in the 1980-90s and a gang staple today, we take a look at this year's 8 playoff teams in relation to songs on the countdown.

Phillies
"How Ya Like Me Now [Longer Version]"
Artist: Kool Moe Dee
Album: How Ya Like Me Now (1987)
Label: Jive Records

Given up for dead by pundits and fans alike only about a month ago, playing inconsistent ball down the stretch, relying on the inevitable Mets collapse, the Phils are suddenly in good shape.

Brewers
"It Takes Two"
Artist: Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock
Album: It Takes Two(1988)
Label: Profile Records

Having counted on the One-Two Punch of C.C. and Sheets to carry them through their first playoff in decades, the Brew Crew now has their back against the wall relying merely on C.C.'s girth.

Dodgers
"Set Adrift on Memory Bliss"
Artist: P.M. Dawn
Album: Of the Heart, Of the Soul and of the Cross: The Utopian Experience (1991)
Label: Gee Street Records

Riding on the postseason past experiences of Manny, Lowe and Torre, the song is as laid back as Manny's D. Plus, both acts' fat members rock dreads.

Cubs
"Me So Horny"
Artist: 2 Live Crew
Album: As Clean as They Wanna Be (1989)
Label: Skyywalker Records

The Cubbies have been wanting this long time.

Red Sox
"Me Myself And I"
Artist: De La Soul
Album: 3 Feet High and Rising (1989)
Label: Tommy Boy Records

This one's more about the fans. Massholes: The most egotistical fans this side of New York.

White Sox
"Tha Crossroads"
Artist: Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
Album: Greatest Hits (2004)
Label: Relativity Recordings/Ruthless Records

Teetering on being very talented and being very bad, having won a recent championship and then having backed into the playoffs this year, the White Sox and their manager have met at the crossroads.

Rays
"Now That We Found Love"
Artist: Heavy D & The Boyz
Album: Peaceful Journey (1991)
Label: Uptown/MCA Records

Like many first-timers who get their cherry broken, now the Rays need to figure out what they're gonna do...with it.

Angels
"Woo-Hah! Got You All In Check"
Artist: Busta Rhymes
Album: The Coming (1996)
Label: Elektra/Flipmode

A little older, a little fatter, less wild, but watch out for the Apollo Creed-like body blows to make your shit bleed.

Keep Your Balls Outta My Face

Cubbie Chaser: The Wild Night's Appalling

Tribune Photo by Phil Velasquez

Seven walks and a grand slam.

That's pretty much all I have to say to sum up Game 1 of the National League Division Series between the Cubs and Dodgers.

I've been a huge Ryan Dempster supporter throughout the season, but he came up real darn small on Wednesday night. Watching him bounce balls in the dirt and fling balls up and out, watching Dodger after Dodger (including freakin' DEREK LOWE) trot to first base, I kept saying, "Oh, he does this. He gets in trouble, but he almost always gets out."

And that brings me to the one and only salient thing the TBS commentators said during the game. Can't remember which one, but if it was Dick Stockton, it was the one and only salient thing he's said at a baseball game in his career..."You can't keep tempting the baseball gods."

Bingo. Dempster's ill-timed wildness certainly caught up with him.

If it's ever been easy to spot big-game nerves in a player, it was easy last night. And isn't it funny how pressure can turn a veteran Major Leaguer into a high school girl, just like that? I say that because I used to pitch for my high school softball team, and of course back then you thought every game was HUGE, and when you started thinking about how big the game was, forget it. You couldn't hit the glove if it hit you first.

I can't pin that entire 7-2 loss on Dempster, although he certainly set an ominous tone. I'm sorry, but if you're supposed to be this great offense, you need to be able to push across some RUNS via something besides a homer. You need to be able to rally a little bit after the second freakin' inning.

Hopefully Lou will abandon his defense-first lineup and get Kosuke Fukudome (0-for-4) the hell out of there. Give us some Mike Fontenot, Reed Johnson. Give us somebody who doesn't look lost at the plate.

I'm not giving up. Of course I'm not. It's only one game, and we've got Carlos Zambrano on the mound tonight. He pitched a no-hitter this year.

(Cue nervous, forced laughter.)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Yankee Pride Bleeds Dodger Blue

I just saw on the scroll that Don Mattingly is expected to take over for Mike Easler as Dodgers' hitting coach following the All-Star break.

My only question is whether Henry Cotto, Butch Wynegar and Alvero Espinoza were available.