Rejected Magazine Covers

Marissa Miller wasn't SI's first choice:


That's gotta be a real shot in the ass for Debbie...

MSM has an uncomfortable infatuation with Clemens' ass.

I think the Rocket's backside gets more media attention then it should.

The latest to get on Clemens' ass is Jason Whitlock. He feels Clemens is lying about his steriod use not for himself but for his legion of fans/butt-kissers. Roger doesn't care about ruining the name of Roger Clemens, he cares more about ruining the legend of 'The Rocket.' A solid, and possibly valid, point.

Whitlock could have ended his argument there...but he took it one step further. He compared Clemens to a crackhead..named Pookie.

It took video evidence to get former Washington, D.C., mayor Marion Barry to admit he hit the pipe and 14,000 text messages for Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick to acknowledge he hit his fine-ass chief of staff. And you think Roger "Pookie" Clemens is going to crack because Brian McNamee has a couple of pictures, a few dirty syringes and blood-stained gauze? Hell, Monica Lewinsky had the president's happy ending splattered on her favorite Sunday dress and Clinton never copped.

It's for articles like this that I both admire Jason Whitlock for his honesty and candor and think he is batshit crazy. Other snippets from Whitlock's piece include the terms 'crackhead, happy ending, rear-ending Roger and his wife, and puncturing Debbie Clemens' firm booty.'

Crackhead? Happy Ending? Isn't FOX Sports a family website? I expect talk like this from the Trentonian but not from a member of the FOX family.

Congressional MLB Witch Hunt Take 2

Roger Clemens, Brian McNamee, Andy Pettitte, Chuck Knoblauch and Kirk Radomski will be called to testify before the House Oversight Committee according to an AP report.

Yankees.com has verified the report, noting:

Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee have been asked to testify before the House Oversight Committee at a Jan. 16 hearing, according to an Associated Press report published Friday.

The Committee had already planned to conduct a hearing on the Mitchell Report on Jan. 15, but according to the AP, it extended the meetings to a second day, with Clemens, McNamee, Andy Pettitte, Chuck Knoblauch and Kirk Radomski asked to be in attendance.

HT: 1560 The Game's Sean and John

Shelley Duncan's Notebook is Back

And it's not pulling any punches, even when it comes to his own teammate.

Clemens: I take Lidocaine and B-12 in the Butt

Fat Mike and Chris were really giving Mike Wallace and the Rocket the business today on WFAN. They cackled over the ridiculousness of the manner in which, as ESPN describes it:

Wallace asked Clemens if he swears he didn't used banned substances. "Swear," Clemens responds.

"Lidocaine and B-12. It's for my joints, and B-12 I still take today," Clemens told Wallace.

Case closed. He swore.

Our money was on him going the glucosamine and chondroitin route.

But then again, how would we know what he does and doesn't take in the butt.

Sign of the Apocalypse

With pride we take full credit for introducing the shenanigans of our local tabloid to the sports blogosphere. After posting it early last Friday, Clemens butt has become the online buzz post-Mitchell Report release. You saw it here first, folks. We highly doubt all the big sites frequent the local Trenton papers the way we do.

It now seems our reach goes far beyond the online community. Perusing our favorite SI section, SI Players, where we generally scour for the next Shane Victorino or Will Demps, we found something that made us leap from our seats.

Sign the Apocalypse is upon us: HHR scoops SI's print edition (Page 22).

Headline: Clemens Took It in the Butt

This is the actual front page of the Trentonian (NJ) today. Untouched, and unphotoshoped...

(Not that there's anything wrong with that)


Yep, that's our local rag. So proud.

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UPDATE! HHR Scoops SI? (12/20/07): Sign of the Apocalypse.

Fat Willard reads (between) the headlines

Lindros announces retirement (and that he refuses to play for the Nordiques this season and fish have feelings like people)
(Let this be a lesson to you kids about the dangers of concussions)

Clemens eyes Astros — for (next fake) retirement (hand)job

McNabb says he's 'not fully to blame' for 3-5 (Reid and crack head kids are partly responsible)

Dodgers introduce Torre after 'whirlwind' ride (on Ventura Freeway with the top down and the wind gusting through our hair like high school seniors on the last day of…wait..what the hell was I talking about?)

Kobe, Lakers make Jazz latest victim (of rape…errr..consensual sex)

Brady’s clutch play (of Gisele’s meat curtains) cements his M(ost)V(aluable)P(enis) status

Johnson wins third straight (night), takes (poonani) Chase lead

Yanks ready to sweeten Posada offer (dinner, The Notebook AND a sensual massage)

Tampa Bay ends deal with the Devil (but God and bad decisions will ensure they suck for years to come)

Shula softens (stool and) stance (with some fig spread on nice soft wheat bread)

Welcome back balls, Yankee fans have missed you

Grip all you want about the Clemens contract. Yes it's ridiculous and up until the All-Star break it was considered the biggest boner in free agent history. But if the return of Clemens has brought anything back to this Yankee team, it's a set of nuts.



For example:

Yankees RHP Clemens, Torre ejected
August 7, 2007
TORONTO (TICKER) -- New York Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens was ejected by home plate umpire Angel Hernandez in the seventh inning of Tuesday's contest against the Toronto Blue Jays for hitting Alex Rios with a pitch.

Clemens yielded just two hits and a walk with six strikeouts over six innings before being removed from the game with a 7-0 lead.

New York Yankees manager Joe Torre also was ejected because a warning had been issued in the third inning when Toronto starter Josh Towers hit Alex Rodriguez, prompting both benches to empty.

Until this season (and since Clemens has been gone) the Yankees staff has been afraid to hit anything or anyone. The only Yankee coming close to being the equalizer was Scott Proctor, but he is about as intimidating as this guy. Jeter has been knocked down about eight hundred times since 2002. The Yanks and Torre continue to let Papi self lube his mitts and dig in like the crew working on the new stadium. Until now.

The balls are back in town.

4-5 with a 4.00 era balls.

But balls none the less.