Steven Johnson, executive director of the BPAA, "Sarah Palin is a great friend to the bowling industry and we're so proud and honored to welcome her as our keynote speaker at International Bowl Expo 2010. Regardless of your political affiliation, Ms. Palin is a force in American politics and culture. Her presence underscores the impact and importance of bowling, one of our country's leading national pastimes and a growing $10 billion industry."
I say this is more a matter of a politician seizing the opportunity to butter up the ever-important "bowling moms" voting bloc.
This isn't 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.
True to his word, Chris found a blog with (16 lb.) balls - The BM Report - a bowling blog that isn't overly-saturated with Big Lebowski references and is actually informative.
Sadly, he doesn't drop any "Donny" quotes on me.
We have an awesome guest this week - FanHouse.com's Kevin Blackistone.
In addition to being a national columnist and commentator at FanHouse, he is a regular panelist on ESPN’s "Around The Horn," is a former award-winning sports columnist for The Dallas Morning News, and is the Shirley Povich Chair in Sports Journalism at the Philip Merrill College of Journalism at the University of Maryland.
We come out of the chute getting KB's take on the Tiger PR fiasco, and also talk about his perspective on the changing sports journalism landscape and how it has affected not only those currently in the field, but how the next generation of reporters has to prepare for it.
As if I didn't already believe the people in my bowling league were totally out of their minds, someone (apparently) is trying to find a suitable home for their Siberian tiger.
The flier reads: "Ben is a loving, 5 year old Siberian Tiger. He is very playful, and great around children. Will negotiate price. Ewing area."
Sure, there were some great scenes in sports this weekend. But can they match the enjoyment of these few snapshots I grabbed when I was out-and-about?
Swedish Seaman's Church Mobile
Interesting choice of name and logo.
Swedish Seaman's Church HQ?
Nope. Their Asian competition.
Shitsburgh
The terrible towel makes an appearance during the Wes Malott/Mike Scroggins match up at the H&R Block Tournament of Champions. Maybe to wipe Scroggins' tush as it looks like he just shat himself.
I Attended.
I Felt Entirely Out of Place.
The Day Wasn't Lost
A Mariachi band on the subway is always good times.
As Ren and I embark on the mediocre existence known as being "middle-aged," we joined a social phenomenon - a bowling league.
Our team, Mark It Zero, consists of a rag tag group of our peers, including:
Ren (who is a decent bowler);
Me (Ariel) - I come from a long line of bowlers (mom and pop Moore met in a bowling alley);
Fireman Brian;
Fat Willard (who realized you're supposed to put your middle two fingers into the ball AFTER he bowled an 89, 88, and 85 in consecutive games);
Mr. and Mrs. JD;
Hondaman (a very good bowler);
And, of course, Pop McCormack, Ren's "legendary" father.
We are here to have fun, and we figure with this group we're bound to get 4 people each Saturday with nothing better to do than bowl.
Because so much happens at bowling that could be fodder for a post of its own, I've decided that my HHR maternity leave will end here and that I will begin a new weekly column, just because.
Welcome to "Observations from Sat Nite Mixed"
The alley has a bar in it. But rather than being a bowling alley with a bar attached, it's moreso a bar with a few lanes attached.
Curly likes to "kick it" and "spank the children" as the pins fall. I don't know what this means, but being that he wears acid wash and sports a perm, I figure its best not to ask.
The lesbians in this league apparently take it quite serious have been known to acuse people of "sandbagging" it, ie bowling shitty to get a low average, which in turn gives you more handicap the next week. The one we bowled this week made exactly that claim against our teammate Fireman Brian, who's average is 117 (he bowled two games in the 150s).
Pop McCormack complained the first 7 frames that his gutter balls were due to the fact that his alley shoes were too scuffed to properly slide. Two pairs of shoes later, and no discernible difference in play, not sure it crossed his mind that maybe 15 years and 9 knee surgeries somehow might have thrown him off his game. But if it's not one thing, it's another. God love him.
Great quote from Mom McCormack: "When I buy him shoes, he'll have nothing left to complain about."
H, whose team is called the "H-Bomz" literally throws a 6lb ball about 6 ft in the air before it lands somewhere down the lane and happens to hit pins. But she is just there for the fun. We heart her.
Ren found a limited edition NWO alley ball, complete with the bowling alley's name etched onto it. Probably one of the best white trash artifacts discovered to date.
Today CBS is broadcasting the United States Bowling Congress' Clash of Champions.
Never before have I gotten so excited for bowling as when 17-year-old high school senior and 2007 U.S. Junior Amateur champion, Jenny Brown, knocked out 8 stikes in a row in a one-ball eliimination tournament before falling to the 33-year-old U.S. Women’s Open champion, Liz Johnson.
Good stuff watching the stoic youngster go toe-to-toe with the excitable vet.
On his first warm-up ball, [US Senator Bob] Casey [D-PA] rolled a gutter ball. Obama's first ball flew gracefully off his hand but also ended up in the gutter. On his second try, he knocked down four pins.
About five lanes over, a young man in a T-shirt that said "Beer Hunter" fell on his backside while bowling and still recorded a strike.
His score you ask?
Obama did improve, nearly getting a strike in one frame, and in the seventh, picking up a spare, giving him a score of 37.
Hey, not for anything, but I could bowl a 37 blindfolded, barefooted and with my left hand. In fact, Ariel's done it twice.
E! News reports that America's favorite Scientologists are just like us!
Apparently, this is news. We report it (copy it from another site), you decide.
We've just been tipped to a sighting so endearingly dorky it could change our typical cynicism toward camera-friendly TomKat and their extended brood.
Saturay night at Lucky Strike was the scene for a family bowling outing, not just for Tom, Katie and Suri but even Connor and Isabella joined in the fun, according to an eyewitness.
A special section was roped off, and a bodyguard was posted, but otherwise, the fam bowled in full view of everyone else at the alley. (No word on who got the most gutter balls, but our money's on Suri—eye-hand coordination is so tough when you're almost two.)
And we're actually inclined to believe the wholesome evening wasn't just an opportunity for Tom's Operation Rep Rehab, as not one paparazzi image of the pinhead players has surfaced. (The photo above is from earlier this month.)
Of course, we reserve the right to change our minds, but for now we're taking this A-list encounter at face value. Go, Team Cruise!
(In the interest of full-disclosure, I really just wanted to Photoshop the picture.)
Typical Tuesday night for Willard, Ren & the chief
I think HHR was on to something last week, when we noted that television during the writers' strike would be much more interesting if they incorporate the great sport of bowling.
Reading Steinberg's DC Sports Bog this afternoon, I think we could get some heavyweight backing for this TV idea:
Oh, and one more Gilbert note. The fine folks at US Bowler have launched a very important project, described as "the first definitive proficiency ranking of celebrities who participate regularly in the sport of bowling."
You can start nominating people next week; the judges include US Bowler Executive Editor Tom Clark, WaPo columnist and all-around degenerate Norman Chad, USBC spokesperson and NBA star Chris Paul, and six-time Denny's PBA Tour Champion Chris Barnes. You should probably go read the full release, but buried at the bottom are some names who will appear on the inaugural list, including "NBA Washington Wizards superstar guard Gilbert Arenas, who once bowled a 277."
Now, I realize that Gilbert has made this claim frequently, and that he bowls under the names Black Fever, Hurricane and the People's Champ, but I'm saying right here that I don't believe he's bowled a 277. C'mon. Now Norman Chad, maybe.
Can we please fuse the sport of bowling, athletes of other sports and reality TV? Can it be any worse than any other given show on television?
With Romo/Simpson coverage rivaling that of only HHR, People.com might subtlely be hinting at a new profession for Cowboy Tony following his collapse in Dallas' on-going playoff win drought.
The Pro Bowler, 27, also defended his decision to spend a few days with Simpson, and some of his fellow teammates, during his off week. "I thought I was making a good decision by not going to Vegas and drinking for two or three days," he explained.
As the entertainment industry turned the pop culture world upside down with the cancellation of the Golden Globe Awards, the writers strike has had more dire effects on the lives of the common man. Frankly, any self respecting gentleman who watches such awards shows are anything but.
The real problem with the strike is the lackluster attempt by broadcasters to fill the void for their regularly scheduled programing with half-assed reality and game shows.
Now tell me something. We've all watched sitcoms and television dramas. Are you telling me that your favorite bloggers looking to catch a break couldn't simply fill the shoes of these Hollywood writing honchos? I'm not pro or anti-writers union. In fact, I feel many of their demands are legitimate. But TV is killing me. Ariel no longer forces me to watch these reality 2-hour fill ins, because besides Law & Order reruns, of which I've seen just about every, I am stuck with the sports, the Food Network, NatGeo and Vin Di Bona nutshots. Sure I don't mind, but sometimes I just need senseless entertainment.
Because I don't see producers turning over the reigns of their established programs (or creating new ones) to diamonds in the rough, it looks like we are stuck with crap like the well-received Gladiators redux, anything the combo JD Roth and Wayne Arnold can come up with, or some spin off of Idol.
So, if we must go that route, at least have some obscure spin to it. How fun would it be to see the following?
Bowling with the Stars
See the likes of Wayne Netwon, Marie Osmond, Mark Cuban and Bruno Tonioli twinkle their toes down the lanes while judged by the Tuesday night co-ed team, the "Alley Catz."
The Biggest Bowler
300+ lb. Heavyweights compete for this prestigious distinction.
Project Bowler
Hosted by Tim Gunn, effeminate designers look to sassy up bowling attire. Make it work.
Bowler Nation
40 bowlers will have 40 days to build a new alley…in a ghost town that died in the 19th Century, as 11 year old Jared looks on, providing wisdom, guidance and talc.
America's Next Top Bowler
Tyra, how do you feel about tweeking your shitty show a bit?
American Bowler
Wannabe PBA'ers compete for the praises of crass judge Pete Weber, sexy judge Diana Asbaty (in a bikini) and former Journey touring bassist Randy Jackson, who's work helped redefine the Rock n' Bowl power ballad.
Pete F'n Weber.
Scott Baio is 45...and Bowling
Under the supervision of his personal bowling life coach, Dr. Walter Sobchak, he visits some of his old girlfriends over an eight-week period and asks them why they never went bowling.
Chachi, this is not Happy Days. This is bowling. There are rules.
"I told those f*cks down at the league office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!" 
