Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Cadillac Mescalade: Super Bowl Stories Reaching Saturation Level

Unsure of which articles to read about the Super Bowl or perhaps tired of the hype?

Here is an easy Cliff's Notes on what you've missed, but you don't have to take my word for it.

I've got news for you! Archie Mannie served as quarterback for the New Orleans Saints for a decade during their heyday of losing! This man should be conflicted about who to root for in the big game coming up. You see, Archie's son, Peyton Manning is the starting quarterback for the Saints' opponent, the Indianapolis Colts.

Get this...Archie is going to side with his family and root for the Colts, in the words of another New Orleans legend that is a "numba one stunna." Not quite. With all due respect to Baby, and the rest of the Cash Money Millionaires, it's no surprise a father will side with his son and that this storyline is just one of the many that has been drummed up in the two week lead-up to the Super Bowl, which will finally kick off this Sunday in Miami.

The newspapers, websites, and blogs have given us interviews with the Manning's legendary housekeeper, Archie's next door neighbors, the other brother Cooper, Peyton's high school coach, college friends, and everyone short of his general practitioner to give us a better idea in how much the Manning's love New Orleans.

The other brother.

But this week they must support the Colts. Or better yet, what can these people tell us about what makes Peyton tick. We've learned that Reggie Bush has still a ways to go before he can catch the same spotlight created by backside of the girl by his side, to which I can see no downside. We've kept up with the Kardashians while finding the heartwarming story of Saints lineman Anthony Hargrove who has battled back from addiction to be a key component of the Saints Super Bowl game plan.

Pleas try to keep up.

It was let on that Saints Head Man Sean Payton, no relation to the other Peyton, ponied up some of his own salary to lure in defensive coordinator Gregg Williams. Williams, the man who has spearheaded the Saints resilient defense, one I fear will be put to the ultimate test against the Colts. However, it's the Saints offense everyone expects great things out of. If you hadn't heard, the San Diego Chargers left Drew Brees for dead and he has repaid the Saints faith ten-fold. In fact, we now know Brees is so well liked in New Orleans and not just by the secret society of well connected business man he meets with to better the community, but by the whole city who, win, lose, or draw in Miami will name their savior "Breesus" the Bacchus in 2010. This means he will reign as the 42nd King of the Krewe in the annual Carnival parade. A privilege somewhere between the Pro Bowl and eternal salvation.

A privilege somewhere between the Pro Bowl and eternal salvation.

Not to be outdone, it's evident Jim Caldwell has done just fine replacing Tony Dungy, a savior in his own right. The bond between the Colts is a strong one for a team that has a Super Bowl ring not too far removed from their rear view mirror. We know Manning is demanding, he may cuss out an offensive lineman, but rewards them with dream vacations in the off-season. Pierre Garcon took a sloppy high school work ethic, parlayed it into all-star career in Division 3 college football, and has hit the football lottery becoming part of the answer to who will replace Marvin Harrison. Keep in mind Garcon does all of this while keeping his homeland Haiti close to his heart and helping with what has been a tremendous outpouring of relief efforts across all sports.

Matt Stover has proved kickers are football's fountain of youth. This is a man that was a teammate of Phil Simms and remains a key to the Colts. But what you really need to know is that Dwight Freeney's ankle is getting better, or is it? Injury reports are often as accurate as my completed sudokus so take Freeney's self proclamations of improvement with a grain of salt. No worries. The Saints will prepare for this man and anyone else the Colts may send their way. They have Scott Fujita who isn't afraid to speak his mind, and Darren Sharper, remember nobody wanted him, not the Packers, nor the Vikings, turns out the while the city rebuilt itself, the Saints continue to rebuild careers. Cut to Jeremy Shockey smiling at the Super Bowl ring he has, but dreaming of the one he is going to get an actual chance to play for. A bigger smile might come from Manning, who know he's getting paid after this game, that's perhaps the only guarantee we have.

Oh yeah, and Madden NFL '10 has picked the Saints to win 35-31. I always did like that video game.

Kickoff is set for 6:25pm eastern, creeping ever closer to primetime. Commercials are up to 2.6 million per 30 seconds. While The Who will handle the halftime, who knew they first tried to retire in 1982? Speaking of which, Brett Favre...

NSFW, but damn amusing...

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