Mike Sorrentino Resurrects Eric Neis' The Grind Workout

Situationally speaking, this is going to suck.

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Kige's Performance Workout

He's very Curt Henning-esq.

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CR Dunbar: In Need of Some Exercise

I've been holed up inside over the past 6 days because of the latest Snowpocalypse. Lucky for me, I have the ability to bring my gym routine home with me to keep me sane and fit.



I've been doing this since 1987. Why change a great thing, including the outfit?

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Paralympic Biathlete is Pretty Damn Cute

Last night on NBC's The Biggest Loser Couples, contestants found themselves training at the U.S. Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs with the likes of Gold Medalist Alpine Skier Julia Mancuso, Freestyle Skier Jeret "Speedy" Peterson, Speedskater J.R. Celski, Pairs Figure Skater Rockne Brubaker, Paralympic Gold Medalist Alpine Skier Alison Jones and Paralympic Biathlete Kelly Underkofler.

Not gonna lie. Underkofler is our new favorite biathlete and not because she can shoot or ski.

USA! USA! USA!

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"Show me Your Butt": Wii Fit Girl Gets Tosh.0'ed

Who could forget the phenomenon that was "Wii Fit Girlfriend?"



The "unsuspecting" lass was filmed by her horndog beau working out in her skivvies on the gaming consule only to attract 9 million+ views on YouTube.

She apparently has embraced her online celebrity and even has a webpage in which you can actually purchase the game that made her famous, and an aptly named Twitter account, "@wiifitgirl."

Last night on Comedy Central, Daniel Tosh, um, caught up with her.

Tosh.0
Wii Fit Girl
www.comedycentral.com
Web Redemption 2 Girls, 1 Cup Reaction Demi Moore Picture

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Fat Students Must Drop Pounds to Earn Degree

Pa. university students upset about fitness class

"A Pennsylvania university's requirement that overweight undergraduates take a fitness course to receive their degrees has raised the hackles of students and the eyebrows of health and legal experts.

Officials at historically black Lincoln University said Friday that the school is simply concerned about high rates of obesity and diabetes, especially in the African-American community."

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(A 7-Year Old Picture of) Troy Vincent Will Make You Sweat and Your Heart Race, Ladies

An HHR insider (who wishes to remain anonymous) sent us the above photo that was taken in her work place's employees' gym locker room, noting it is "one of several poster-sized pictures of half-naked men scattered about the ladies' locker room in between African art."

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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

He's Like a Little Pocket Hercules

If Vincent K. McMahon hasn't begun a plot to exploit this little tough sonofabitch, the old man's slipping.



Liam Hoekstra, of Roosevelt Park, MI "has a condition called myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy, which means his body has very little fat and enlarged muscle fibers that make him really strong, Ashton says."

Translation: Don't cross him, he'll cold cock ya.

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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

If You Need to Buy "Waist Watcher" Brand

Do you really need Chocolate Fudge Soda?

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Ariel: Recapping Biggest Loser Premiere

Wow, what a big night. And I mean that literally. Big. Large. Huge. This is the biggest group that they've ever started with on the Biggest Loser and I can't wait to see the transformations.

Riddled with twists and turns, such as having the contestants workout without their trainers, and sending home 9 contestants, this season is surely one to watch. I love the first night of the show because you can really see who has what it takes to stay, who might be the dark horse of the competition, and who is going to cause the most drama, i.e. Vicky from this past season.

So, here are just a few observations from last night's episode.

Gray Team: Carla and Joelle, Best Friends - I liked these ladies off the bat - lots of sass and moxy - looks like they could kick some ass. Reminded Ren and I of the "Reality Check" skit from Mad TV. Although, we think that they made the wrong decision of sending Carla home - as the largest woman, she has the most to lose.



Brown Team: Ron and Mike, father/son - Ron is extremely large, 430lbs, and apparently had gastric bypass surgery. I am going to venture to say it was unsuccessful. Ren comments, "Gastric Bypass, is that cheating?" My answer, "Cheating? He weighs 430lbs." Pretty much ended the conversation right there.

Blue Team: Filipe and Sione, Cousins - two cousins from like Samoa or something. I like these two, and I think they have the ability to stay in the game a while. They will lose a lot of weight, and they seem like they'll be well-liked, and therefore avoid elimination.

Green Team: Laura and Tara, friends - Apparently these girls are former models. Going to bite my tongue here, but the one girl, Laura complained and whined, and it showed when her teammate Tara lost 21lbs in the first week, but Laura only lost 13. Good number, but you can tell who's weight problem is more physical, and who's is more mental. If you aren't committed to losing the weight, then stay home and let someone else who IS committed be there and get healthy.

Orange Team: David and Daniel, best friends - I couldn't not say something about these two guys. At 23 and 19, they basically each have maybe 10 years more to live, at the rate they were going. They are extremely morbidly obese - this is why I watch this show, and think that even though it exists because people like me are obsessed, it does change lives, and hopefully inspires others to change their lives. I pray these guys get the weight off and keep it off.

So, these are just a few that stand out... I am sure we'll see some more of the true personalities in the coming weeks.

All Photos via NBC.com

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Biggest Loser Goes Bat Sh*t Crazy

While most of my TV habits have changed now that there is a little person in my house who needs my constant attention, the one thing I seemed to have time for is the Biggest Loser.

This season was all about family - husbands/wives, and parents/children. So far, all of the contestants have seemed like the usual run of the mill, "losing weight because if I don't, I'll die" sort of mentality.

But, whereas in other seasons you are emotionally drawn in to the plight of these people, this season there are a few where you just can't help but not give a flying f*ck if they lose weight or eat themselves to death.

On last night's episode my hatred for a few of these contestants came to a head. Vicky is just bat sh*t crazy, and the most cocky, manipulative, maniacal contestant I have ever seen since the beginning of this show. While I've seen some contestants throw the weigh-in, back-stab, etc., I've never seen as much game playing as I have seen this year with this woman. In some cases with reality TV you suspect that editing is the reason for being made out like the "villain" but in this case she is just a f*cking lunatic. Plain and simple.

Vicky & Brady. She craps bigger than you. Out of her mouth.

After picking off other "threats" one by one, and manipulating and controlling teammate Heba (whose husband Ed got kicked off a few weeks ago then brought back last night), she felt as though her alliances were indestructible, and that she and husband Brady would be the #1 and #2 Biggest Losers, and therefore walk away with a total of $350K. This is her motivation. And considering she is doing well at losing the weight each week, that leaves me to one conclusion - she is a lazy, greedy bitch. Why else would she need to come on a show to lose weight?

In the beginning, you sort of feel bad too. They have two kids and their daughter is on track to become an obese child. But after you witness all this craziness, you can't help but feel like she is selfish, and that the health of her family is secondary to her ability to win a cash prize. Either that or she has the biggest ego ever.

Fast forward to the elimination. Brady (her husband) and black team member Michelle are up for elimination. There are 6 votes - 4 blue team members, and 2 black team members. Even asked what she felt about the elimination, Vicky couldn't even muster up a compliment about Michelle, and only said something about it being a numbers game and that she's confident Brady is safe.

Thankfully Amy C. got a pep talk from her mom, and decided to go out on a limb and vote for her biggest competition, Brady, making the vote a tie, and sending it to the deciding factor which is percentage of weight loss. Brady had the lowest, so he goes home. NBC did a great job of leaving the rest of the craziness for the preview of next week.

All you see if a handwritten note taped to what you assume is Amy C's door and it says "Revenge." Then you see Ed giving an interview where he says something to the affect of "Vicky is just crazy. You can't cross her."

Is she the leader of the fat mob or something? Its a shame. I usually have a nice cathartic cry with the contestants of this show because they are all pure and decent humans who genuinely care about the health and well being of their fellow castmates, and all appreciate the greater reason for being on the show - losing weight. Vicky has cheapened the message and ruined the meaning of what really is an empowering, uplifting reality show.

But b*tches bring ratings. NBC, you've won this time.

Ernie Borgnine Divulges Secrect to Long Life

File this one under health and fitness...

He's Not a Man. He's a Machine.

A non-sweaty, post-workout Obama with Judith Bonesky (not a pron name)

Barack Obama is so fit, he doesn't even sweat when he works out gushes a German reporter lucky enough to train next to the Senator with the "toned arms and a strong back."

(Seriously, that can't be a professional article. It's parody, right?)

Not Obama's Workout Mat.

It's Time to Put an End to This Madness

E!: Mario Lopez perspires a lot. Or as he puts it: "I never feel awake unless I'm sweating." We know he's talking about being athletic and fit, but...ew.

"Ew" is right.

I have bitten my tongue long enough.

Whether it was Dancing With your-soon-to-be-ex-lover, displaying jazz hands on Broadway, reporting beside smarmy Jerry Penacoli, running ESPN Hollywood and The Other Half into bolivia, hosting the unwatchable America's Best Dance Crew, you will never, ever be anything more than Albert Clifford Slater.

Your on-again-off-again Hispanic accent, nothing more than an obvious ploy to win votes on DWTS, is as authentic as that of Scott Hall.

I do not want to see your abs. I am not sent to gaga land by your dimples.

Just leave me alone.

Be happy being a fake all-state football, wrestling and basketball player, not to mention a great Jheri-mulleted 80's drummer.



Accept the fact that you are as much a caricature as your buddy Dustin Diamond (Mike D's brother, and Neil's son).

You insist upon yourself.

I love The Money Pit. That is my answer to that statement.

Richard Simmons Gets the Chris Berman Treatment

OK all you fitness nuts out there. Bow down before your idol.

Got this from MusicVideosThatSuck.com:

Tiki says: Do it. Do it.

The more you know...

And knowing is half the battle.

Personally, I don't need Tiki Barber, Jerome Bettis and Cris Collinsworth telling me how to live my life, especially when it sounds like someone is squeezing Tiki's balls and forcing him to say it.

Unfortunately, NBC doesn't want you to share the knowledge that the trio are dropping.

So go to their site and click the video on the right labeled "Tiki Barber, Jerome Bettis, Cris Collinsworth Watch Now."

Biggest Loser Stuffed with Filling

No, this is not another post about Thanksgiving. But last night's Biggest Loser was allllll filler.

With only 6 contestants left, and writers still striking, NBC has no choice but to continue to air BL for 2 hours, a timeframe much too long for a show that can be completed in about 45 minutes.

The show started out with B's goodbye message to Kim, as well as a sappy montage of Red Team "through-the-years" type footage. Boo-frickity-whoo, sorry Kim, your team were a bunch of losers.

Next the remaining 6 are challenged with a day in the "real-world" where they had to rise at 6am, train in the morning, then complete a full day of work at a pizza restaurant, come home and train some more. If they were in the real-world, I doubt they'd be working out two times a day and still have time to do all the other things a real person in the world is tasked with.

(every commerical break from this point forward is featuring Clash of the Choirs... it's looks stupider every time I see it, yet it makes me want to watch it even more.)

Next up, the challenge. The losers have to bounce on a trampoline and punch a speed bag that is suspended at least 4 ft above their heads. Each round is 3 minutes, and the person with the lowest number of punches for each round is eliminated. With a 1 pound pass at stake, Nicole, Neil, and Bill are eliminated from the challenge, with the 3 black team girls left to battle for the prize. Hollie pulls ahead, and wins the challenge.

Weigh-in time.... Julie and Nicole fall below the yellow line, which means that Nicole is going home. She is the bigger threat AND it's 3-1 black vs blue members voting, and the 4 remaining black members are tight and loyal to one another.

Takes 30 min and more filler to find out that Nicole is indeed going home.

Next week, there will definitely be two black members up for elimination because Neil should pull a big enough number to stay safe. He's pulled himself out of his plateau, and should be able to hang on and make it to the finals. The only thing that could change this is if NBC decides that whoever has the lowest % next week is automatically eliminated... can't remember if they did that last year or not.

Biggest Whiner...eh... Loser Recap

Ok, not to cut to the chase, but THANK GOD Amy is gone from the Biggest Loser. I don't think she is a bad person. However, I think she worked the least out of all the people there, and had a TON of weight to lose.

The reason why those people got into the position they were in was because they lacked discipline. When on a weight-loss reality show, the first thing you're supposed to learn is discipline!!! It's the only thing that'll help you to survive in the "real world."

Anyways.... So last night was the 10th week I think, and the final 9 competitors were broken down to singles. Every man/woman for themselves.

The temptation was disgusting. A chip worth $5,000 was buried in a pile of donuts. And when I say pile, I mean PILE. If the losers wanted a chance to rip through the donuts to find the chip, they had to first EAT a donut. All but Kae (she is a machine) decide to play. First round is 30 sec..., second round (and another donut) is 1 min...., third round (and a final donut) is unlimited time. After about 1 minute into the third round, Bill found the chip and became the winner for the week.

The challenge was sort of BS. So the losers were all going to take part in a "triathalon." They were going to bike 20km, run 3km, and swim 1km. The first 7 losers to finish the biking, got to compete at running. The first three to finish running, got to compete in the pool. BUT, if you finished sooner, it did not afford you a lead for the other rounds. That is the BS part. Kae easily finished first in the biking and running, but isn't much of a swimmer. Hollie (who finished third in the running) is a trained swimmer, and easily beat out Kae and Bill for the prize. The prize was a 24-hour trip home AND immunity for the weigh-in. Plus, the winner got to pick a second person to share the prize. Hollie chose Julie in a strategic decision, which I think was the right thing to do. However, this really pissed Amy off. Why she thought she was entitled to this prize is beyond me, and hence where the "whiner" part of my title comes in.

At the weigh-in, Hollie and Julie both lose no weight, which keeps them safe because they have immunity. Isabeau, Amy, and B all lose like 2 pounds, but Amy and B end up in the bottom two.

(Oh, and Amy "officially" became a member of the black team, and tried to give her red shirt back to Kim, which pissed Kim off even more.)

With three blue team members all there to save B (they all hate Amy because she is lazy and complains a lot), it was up to the 4 black team members to really decide who goes home. Julie, Hollie, and Bill all vote for B, and it comes down to Isabeau who, thank the lord, voted for Amy.

It was a good move all around. She didn't deserve to win because she wasn't working hard enough, and all she does is point fingers and complain about people being disloyal or throwing her under the bus. EVERYONE there knows she never worked hard enough (and maybe that was cleaver editing on NBC's part).

It's called PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY people... Like "I got fat because I ate a lot of bad food and didn't exercise." It's all apart of the process.

Think there is a market for a reality-tv-contestant-consultant???? I think I could make money consulting to-be contestants on the strategies of game play...

The Biggest Gainer?

Wow.... Big things happened last night.

The teams were changed up... 12 losers were left to "bet" their way to a power position. The temptation this week forced them to eat up to 2200 calories of cookies, crackers and cheese, to win the ability to split all the losers into 4 trios. Jez won the temptation eating a ton of crap, and did what he thought was a good job at splitting the teams. He chose Isabeau and Neil, the largest male threat and largest female threat. He did a pretty good job at making the other teams equal, but it was Bill, Julie and Amy that won the challenge.

After 4 bee-movie mini's (which I am done with) and another shameless product plug, we get onto the rest of the show...

Big rift between Amy and Kim... Amy is still pissed that Kim threw her under the bus... so she decided to work out with Jillian instead.

Ok, the weigh in. The week was stressful for everyone, so some people just didn't know how much weight they were going to lose. Ryan gained a pound, Amy stayed the same weight not losing anything. Then we get to Jez, Neil, and Isabeau. They needed to lose a combined 11 pounds to stay out of elimination. Jez and Isabeau lost a combined 10 pounds... and you know Neil is going to gain weight because of the promos.

He gained 17 pounds!!!!!!!!! Totally cheated.... drank 2 gallons of water before the weigh in to throw it, and get one of his teammates eliminated since they are bigger threats. Total dick move. I mean, it's a game, but you should play it fairly. This is nothing new... people have done this sort of thing in the past, but never to that extent. I mean 17 pounds... that is insane. And next week he'll have some crazy weight loss because it'll be the water weight plus whatever he really lost...

In the end the other competitors chose to eliminate Jez, unfortunately. It'll be interesting to see how they regard Neil next week, especially Isabeau who was Jez's original teammate, but has to work with Neil because he is now on her team.

-posted by Ariel

Rep it Out

Fox News: Man Awarded $786,760 in Testicle Lawsuit Injury

A jury awarded $786,760 to an Ohio man who says he has endured years of pain and must walk bowlegged after his left testicle was struck by a broken weight-machine bar at an athletic club.

I can barely walk, let alone run. There's a constant throbbing of pain. I mean, it's my testicle. That's a very uncomfortable spot to feel pain."

Apparently, this is what he said in the wake of the accident.

I can understand you suffering with the pain, but I kind of think bowlegged-ness oozes with machismo.

(Photo: TASIS)