Saturday, June 28, 2008

Euro 08 Finals Preview from Across the Pond

In case you are American, and didn’t know, there is a big grand football finale that comes every four years here in Europe this weekend. Yep, the final match of EURO 2008 takes place this Sunday in Switzerland , or is it Austria ? Oh well – who cares – same place practically.
This year’s final features a typically efficient German side (who always seems to play just good enough to win) and feisty picante-scented Spanish side that has put together some of the best attacking football of the tournament. It should be a classic match. Or, a crap one. Never can tell these things. I envisage the tall Germans cutting and crossing to head the ball on goal while the Spaniards play quick one-twos on the edge of the box to best ageing German goalkeeper Jens Lehman. Too bad for those of you who have to watch it the States and listen to that insufferable onion-headed donkey wanker, Tommy Smyth. I’ll be at the pub, hearing British men shout the all-not-to-often-heard phrase of: “Come on the Germans!” They will do this as they will have money on the game.

Predictions? Well, I’d like to see the Spanish (who doesn’t love Cesc Fabregas?) beat the Germans as they always seem to be in the finals of such things. But who knows? I can tell you something I do know: who won’t score. How do I know who will and will not score? It is because my Daily Telegraph Euro 08 Fantasy Team is a practical voo-doo doll of interweb sports. It was like clockwork all tournament. If I picked the player – they never scored like a goal drought curse had just be cast. If I dropped the player – they’d score in the next game in the first 20 minutes. Without fail, I could do absolutely nothing right. The ultimate confirmation of my unlucky touch? Halfway through the tourney I selected a Dutch defender named Khalid Boulahrouz – he was a clever defender and was a good value - that very day – his daughter died.

No shit.

Perhaps less important, but still rather sad, is that I sit bottom of my work fantasy league enduring stereotypical rants about ‘Yanks not knowing sweet f- all about the footy.’

So, do yourself a favor and grab a 6-pack of Pauliner and a few little plates of them tasty tapas and enjoy watching David Villa, Cesc Fabregas, Fernando Torres, Lukas Poldolski, Michael Ballack, and Bastian Schweinsteiger all not score.

-written by Footy Matt

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