The last time the Phillies won a World Series, members of this year team was too young to remember, if they were born at all. None were from the Philadelphia area, and each was too busy doing what kids do.
Let's take a look back at where the 2008 starters were 18 years ago.
Starting Pitcher, Cole Hammels, b. 12/27/83, San Diego, CA
The gods had not yet bestowed upon us their majestic offspring. Only chose to do so following the 1983 World Series loss to the O's.
Closer, Brad Lidge, b. 12/23/76, Sacramento, CA
Crapped his pants so much at the thought of the boogy man hunting him down at night in the darkness of his room, his drunk father nicknamed him "Lights-On Lidge."
Catcher, Carlos Ruiz, b. 1/29/79, David Chiriqui, Panama
At the height of their popularity, Van Halen's world tour took them through David Chriqui. 9 months later, Carlos was born. He is said to be the inspiration for their-yet-to be recorded hit "Panama" - one of the few big hits Ruiz has ever been credited with.
First Baseman, Ryan Howard, b. 11/19/79, St. Louis, MO
Was a 300-pound almost-1-year-old already adored from here to Calcutta.
Second Baseman, Chase Utley, b. 12/17/78, Passadena, CA
Not yet 2 years old, little Chase and his little do-gooder buddies spent their days saving kittens.
Third Baseman, Pedro Feliz, b. 4/27/75, Azua, DR
His family was so poor that instead of cleats, young Pedro had to make due with creating shoes from Pedro Guerrero's discarded rolling papers and syringes. It only made him a better fielder.
Shortstop, Jimmy Rollins, b. 11/27/78, Oakland, CA
Seethed as he watched a young Stanley Kirk Burrell (no relation to Pat) make a name for himself as a world class bat boy for the A's. Was soon accusing Stanley, who went on to become MC Hammer, as being a fairweathered frontrunning Oakland fan.
Left Field, Pat Burrell, b. 10/10/76, Eureka Springs, AR
Not yet a machine, or a South Beach or South Street playboy, young Pat was just a bumpkin hillbilly in rural Arkansas.
Center Field, Shane Victorino, b. 11/30/80, Wailuku, HI
Was then known as the "Flyin' Semen."
Right Field, Jayson Werth, b. 5/20/79, Springfield, IL
The one-year-old son of this handsome couple: