Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Iron Ref Playoffs - Throwing in the Towel

Who will be the the last finalist for HHR's Iron Ref? Only one will survive, while the other two will just fade into Bolivia. Might as well give it up after that. Hey, that sort of feel's like a segway! Sweet! No more witty banter in an attempt to introduce the subject!

Update: Yes we are still waiting on one competitor's entry. Perhaps he is buried in emails and his own regret due to his recent departure from a position of great power. Or maybe he forgot. Voting begins anyway.

This week's theme


Voting Ends Wednesday @ 6pm

Sean Leahy
Sometimes, when your back is too far up against the wall, it’s okay to quit. Why waste the extra effort to right the ship? Jump off and go for a swim. Everyone quits. Bill Parcells has quit numerous times. Bill Belichick quit the New York Jets as soon as he realized what he signed up for. The New York Mets have quit playing baseball the last two summers.

See? It’s easy!

In hockey, sometimes there’s fights that should never occur, but only do because a player is either delusional or feels to need to stand up for their pride, even though a short time later, they’re on their ass. Often, some players fail to realize the point in which they should throw their hands up and throw in the towel.

Here’s rookie Colton Gillies making a terrible decision to fight Derek Boogaard, who’s 6’7 and known as “The Boogey Man”. Maybe Gillies had too much adrenaline going, as this was his first game in the National Hockey League? Either way, he would have been better off throwing a few punches to save face and then getting the hell out of there.

Jesse Boulerice should have stopped trying to play patty-cake with Aaron Downey after his second attempt. As you will see, Downey was all business for this fight, from the start to the end.

Finally, this isn’t a failed attempt at a fight, but when you miss a body check this bad, it might be time to hang up the skates and throw in the towel for good.

Jeff Pyatt
Don't be a p***y. Throw something else. If you throw in the towel, you might as well turn in your man card, take your wife's maiden name, disown football, break your commitment to the team, pop in the Kate & Leopold DVD and unscrew a Zima. But you're a man. Sack up. Grin and bear it. Don't throw in the towel. Throw out something else. Here are five suggestions:

5.) Your wife/girlfriend. She got fatter and less attractive. You got older and more attractive. It's the law of nature. Throw her out.

4.) A chair. If it makes Bobby Knight feel better, it will work for you too.

3.) Your boss. He's an asshole and an idiot. Defenestrate him.

2.) Money. Make it rain bee-yatch. (Warning: We are not responsible for the consequences of "Making it Rain" -- especially if you make it rain $80,000 and it ends in a riot.)

1.) A grenade. Because it's awesome. No further explanation needed.

Rob Iracane

(Ed: Threw in the towel?)

Voting Ends Wednesday @ 6pm


singeracl said...

Jeff Pyatt!!!! RCS High Football Rules!

Matt T said...

I vote for Rob. How very meta of him

iamcaleb2 said...

Pyatt hates fat chicks? News to me.

PS That means I vote for him.

Fatkids said...

Always Sunny edges out hockey fights for video goodness. I vote Jeff Pyatt - RCS.

Birdy Fucktard said...

Good use of defenestrate. I vote RCS.

Scott @ WFNY said...

Pyatt. You had me at "fat chicks."

James said...

i vote for PYATT.

but he should've wrote about throwing his "man towel" onto his closet floor for safe keeping until he needs it next.

Susan said...

Pyatt...is a tool but his ability to reference office space at anytime obligates me to vote for him.

Ric said...

i vote for pyatt and rcs

but pyatt is still stupid

Evan50 said...

I vote for Leahy. I want to see 2 hockey bloggers in the final four.

Grego said...

Pyatt for RCS. A classic list.

Going Five Hole said...

I think I'm gonna give me vote to Pyatt and watch him breeze past me in the finals.

Nicely done sir

Robbie said...

My word verification was "yeluou" what the F is that? Anyways, Pyatt wins because I'm named Gillies and I don't like to see other Gillies's getting their asses kicked.

Pro-Hat Party said...


westleyc said...

RCS will smash your face into a jelly.

Ryan said...

I do love me some hockey fights...but my votes for Pyatt and RCS.

Cornelius Hardenbergh said...

Yeah, Sean Leahy definitely wins with the BOOOOOGAAAAAARD bout. Second place for Rob.

Illuminati said...

Birdy Fucktard.

Oh, I thought we were voting best commenter name. I am tempted to vote Iracane but I'll go with Leahy.

jennaj said...

Pyatt Pyatt Pyatt

Scott Brazier said...

Pyatt in a landslide. You had me at don't be a p***y. The Always Sunny clip violated the slaughter rule. Also, Leahy, if those guys quit then you wouldn't have sweet knockout clips to show, so if they took your advice in the first place there would have been no reason to give it...think about that next time you're high.

Britini said...

Pyatt and RCS....no witty banter from me.