One of the most popular user-submitted products in Uncrate history, the Nerf N-Strike Vulcan ($43) is the Rambo of Nerf guns. This mean-looking, belt-feeding, fully-automatic dart gun can fire at a rate of up to three darts per second, pummeling your target (or your target's cubicle) with a barrage of toy ammunition. A removable, foldable tripod and a precision single-shot mode round out the capabilities.
I would show no mercy. I would shower soft pellets of destruction and revenge; letting slip the dogs of war to feast upon my overmatched victims. I will ultimately become a creator and destroyer of worlds - provided that said worlds were within a 20-30ft shooting distance and weren't hiding behind a cubicle. The only thing that's missing is a way to wear the bullets in an X across your chest.
Stone it: This gun will be the cause of or response to my eventual unemployment.