When confronted by cops, monkey spanker Rafael Escamilla denied exposing himself.
"I wasn’t out, I wasn’t hanging out," he claimed. As reported by Officer Chris Reese, Escamilla "explained to me that he had spilled Tabasco sauce or something similar on his ‘penis’ and had an incredible itch." He was rubbing his groin, Escamilla explained, "because it was the worst ‘itch in the world.’" Escamilla said he tried to be discreet by covering himself with his laptop, but that the girl must have "suspected something."Why are we reporting this?
Well, it so turns out that the log flogger "currently works as research director at the Florida orthopedics and sports medicine institute founded by Dr. James Andrews, the noted surgeon whose clientele has included Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning, Charles Barkley, Jack Nicklaus, Roger Clemens, and Drew Brees."
The same Dr. Andrews we like to refer to as Dr. Death, because you can bet your sweet ass your season is done when you head his way, and the same Dr. Andrews who was featured earlier this year in SI for as a cutting edge sports surgeon.