Andrew Reid: 1971 Punt, Pass and Pituitary Problem

Come on, CBS. This can't possibly be real.

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Fat Andy Can Really Shake His Ass

Bet you didn't know Andy Reid was an avid Lindy Hopper.

"Andy Reid is well known for his powerful presence, movement and technique. His style is a balance of the refined and the eccentric, and he succeeds highlighting the wildness of Lindy Hop without compromising underlying technique. Andy has performed and taught all over the world including Australia, Germany, Japan, Korea, Sweden, Italy and France."

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Philly Forecast Calls for Golden Showers

Because I just want to piss all over this golden stupidity.

If you are in the Philly media market, you've probably seen a shitty golden coaching statuette gracing your screen and heard a voice imploring you to go to nbcphiladelphia.com and vote for who was a better coach: Andy Reid or Dick Vermeil.

Because, clearly, Philadelphians need another venue to show how much they hate Fat Andy, and another forum to hold Vermeil on a higher pedestal than he deserves.

For the record, Dick is touched by the outpouring of support.

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And in the first round the Philadelphia Eagles take...

wait...wa...oh it's our pick?.....ugghhhh.....trade it.....wake me up Sunday...

Someone Send Meds

I'm stuck in (on?) Long Island.

I think I contracted syphilis from Keyshawn's get-up (garb?).

WARNING: Staring directly at Keyshawn Johnson may cause you to contract an STD.

Dillusion's set in.

I just imagined the Eagles traded away their 1st round pick which ended up being a position they were targeting.

SOS

-Ren

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Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

Photo credit: Awful Announcing

Hank Baskett Latest Eagle to Not Call for "More Playmakers"

Today, HHR notes, Hank Baskett became the latest Eagle, joining Greg Lewis, Jason Avant and others, to not make a plea, public or otherwise, for Philadelphia Eagles brass to go out and get more playmakers.

While vets Donovan McNabb, Brian Westbrook, Brian Dawkins and Big Jon Runyan have each made it known over the last several weeks that they need some weapons on both sides of the ball (as well as special teams), some younger players are not so sure.

Baskett was overheard lamenting: "Shit, I got a family, man. The last thing i need is for a Larry Fitzgerald or a Chad Johnson coming in and taking food out of my kids' mouths. I've worked hard to maintain the wide receiver void created by Todd Pinkston and James Thrash, and I'll be damned if I let those efforts lead me to the breadline. "

He added, "I know what Coach Reid demands of his receivers and I think, I know, I've met those expectations. You think they just let anyone wear number 84?"

Reno Mahe has noticeably been the loudest in not calling for playmakers. The Stormin' Morman seems content returning kickoffs with a Woody Hates-inspired "three yards and a cloud of dust," and apparently Andy Reid is "cool" with that.

Reid has been so smitten with his return man, he even went out of his way to hire a 12-year-old assistant coach, only because he resembled Mahe. Yet, he can't see the need to pull the trigger on a pro-bowl caliber wideout, end or d-back.

One veteran seems to side with the youngsters. Williams James, who in a valiant attempt to remain invisible on the field that he went so far as to change his name, has yet to make a pitch on the defensive side of the ball.

Wade Phillips Wants Big Sausage

Say what you will about Andy Reid, but Wade Phillips is a fat, jolly f*ck himself. The Texan on this audio could very well be him.




Damnit. Sucka gots to eat. Someone feed this sumbitch.

Thanks to our buddy Mr. Met up in Flushing for the heads-up.

While we're on Wade, he looks an awful lot like Newt, don't he?

Speaking of Strong Resemblences...

Big Daddy Drew at Kissing Suzy Kolber had a fun little piece highlighting a possible change of careers.

However, Fat Andy has already had plenty of practice seeing no evil, hearing no evil and speaking no evil - of not just his team and coaching philosophy - but let's not forget his GM and personnel moves.

While his team destructs around him, everything is just A-OK in AndyLand.

Andy Reid, Baghdad Bob: Iraq Information Minister.

Eagles/Bears: Observations from the 200 Level

(Doesn't quite have the same ring as the "700 Level" does it?)

Pre-game.

4:15 game and our host and chauffeur Kato has a penchant for buggery. Needless to say we understood that by accepting free tickets from Kato, at some point before, after or during the game we would end up at a gentleman's club. We also had a hunch that he didn't really have tickets and that he was going to end up at an unsavory establishment to watch the game. So before we left we made sure he showed us the tickets.

We roll into Philly around 1 and despite CBass having a nice set-up with plenty of food and drink at his usual spot at FDR Park since 9 AM, Kato wants to start the afternoon off "right," so we head to Gentleman's Club 1 (GC1) to kick things off. To Kato's dismay, the club is closed at 1 PM, just as the early NFL games are starting. GC1 opens at 3. This does not sit well with Kato. The entrepreneur he is relentlessly tells us of all the money GC1 is losing out on.

So with a 30 pack in tow, we head to Gentleman's Club 2 (GC2), a BYOB. While the sex shop is open, this club too is closed. Kato is not happy. So eventually we make it to Gentleman's Club 3 in time to catch a couple of Brady TDs. We stay only for about 2 beers, but Kato is happy he got his fill.

(In Kato's defense, maybe he was just offering a public service. Afterall, it is breast cancer awareness month, and he did spend the entire day offering free exams. In his honor I bought Ariel a pink Eagles "tit hat" (Kato's words not HHR, the NFL or the Philadelphia Eagles').

Game-Time.

Where to begin? Observation #1 - the Eagles are not a very good football team. The fans hate the coach, the quarterback, the punter and the wide receivers.

A girl in our section is wearing a Devon Hester jersey, and the first few times she walks up and down the aisle it was simple boos, hisses and harrumphs directed at her.

Eventually it got to the point of one fella kept screaming at her the following (loud and angry):

"You suck. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hope you trip and fall down the steps and kill yourself."

Class act.

Two of the best throwback jerseys were in our group. Kato had a green Seth Joyner jersey while the Mad Dog had a UNLV Cunningham one on.

Others of note: Wes Hopkins, Herchell Walker, Andy Harmon, Ivring Fryer and Ike Reese.

Someone actually showed up wearing a Ricky Watters jersey (for who? for what?).

(Ariel notes: "There is always someone with a Watters jersey, same with Mamula." I told her there was a Mamula jersey in our section, but I wasn't sure if it was meant to be a joke. Ariel said, "No it's just been 12 years since they last shelled out dough for a jersey.")

Kato says next time he's putting everyone to shame and showing up donning Timmy Hauck.

When 3 teenagers show up wearing Wilbert Mongomery jerseys, I have to start questioning the whole fad. 1 Montgomery jersey is plenty in the stadium. It's unique. But when 20 people in the section are sporting Montgomery, Jaws and Charmichael, it's too much. I'll give the Papale fans a pass. For now.

I won't bore you with insight into the game, because I'll be spewing the same 'can't score in the red zone, can't hit open receivers, run too little, can't catch a pass, Brian f'n Griese drove 97 yards with no timeouts in under two minutes.'

Flipping back and forth between WYSP and WIP post-game I think the general consensus and the most logical explanations/conclusions/grumblings are multi-tiered:

1. The current receiving corp is much better than the days of Charles Johnson, Torrence Small, Pinkston and Thrash. Particularly with the latter two, fans are torn between two things - first, wondering how we could win with them but not with the current crop; and second, if the receivers are the problem, why is it continually not addressed? Which brings us to...

2. If for the sake of argument the receiving corp is better, the issue is that the quarterback is not the same player that could elevate those around him and make the system work. Bringing us to...

3. The system. The coach built the system around #5. If #5 is not the same player he was even 3 years ago, the system is not going to work the way it did 3 years ago.

For all intents and purposes the season is done. One more "next year" to look forward to. The Cowboys, Giants and Redskins continue to pull away. The schedule doesn't look to get much easier and reaching .500 is as much of a stretch as reaching the playoffs.

There is not all bitterness in Philadelphia. Say what you will about Philadelphia fans, but they love America. Even if they hate sleeves.

Selective Memory

Everyone seems to be all up in arms after McNabb's comments to Bryant Gumbel (he of winter Olympics fame) on his cable sports news program. And rightfully so. I think Eric G. at Phillyburbs.com hit the nail on the head when he notes that you really only see one side of this love-hate relationship, even though the love part of it far outweighs the hate.

I also agree with the Sir Charles on MNF last night when he noted that McNabb and Fat Andy really don't get the credit they deserve. Hell, the far-under-achieving tandem of Buddy and Randall are more beloved in the city.

The Sportz Assassin at AOL's Fanhouse brings up some points in the argument that really got me thinking. While the SA compares McNabb to his contemporaries, one need only look back to his rookie year - when fans were rabid for him to replace the oft-booed Doug Pederson. And they went nuts for Donovan when he stepped on the field.

The point is, he was booed, Donovan, for the same reason you are. The Birds were losing. He was not playing well.

Doug Pederson is white.

I like Donovan. A lot. I want to see him succeed. I want to see him get the respect, he does truly deserve. There's one way to get it: just win.

And put a little touch on your passes.

Damn, Dirty Cheaters

I made note a little while back in the "NFL Un-boo-ables" piece that the svelte likes of Todd Stinkston and James Trash had little chance of getting off the line of a Panthers playoff team on which even the punter was roiding. Cheaters.

Now, in light of the Pats spying controversy, everyone basically acknowledges that this is not an isolated incident and that Billy Belicheat has been engaging in these shenanigans for some time now.

Merrill Reese brought up a good point on WYSP this morning - punishing a wealthy team like New England by taking away a 2nd or 3rd Rd. draft choice hardly punishes them, as they will simply go out, as they have, and find some nice, high-priced free agents to more than make up for it.

So, Mr. Commissioner, I think it's only fair to make like the NCAA and start stripping them of their Championships.

Let the parade down Broad and Pattison begin! Congratulations Donovan and Fat Andy. Consider the monkey lifted off your backs. Philadelphia can rejoice. The Curse of Billy Penn has effectively been lifted!