Showing posts with label NFL draft. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NFL draft. Show all posts

Friday, April 23, 2010

The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Round One

From a cynic’s perspective, last night’s Round One of the NFL draft was very disappointing. After all, my job is to write about the bad and stupid things that football teams do. And yesterday was remarkably devoid of that. Sure, there were some surprises (Clausen falling out of the first round). And some teams reached for players they probably could have gotten later (Tebow, Alualu). And invariably some of these players will be busts. But all in all, I think most teams did what they needed to do. So with that, I’ll do my best to comment on a few things about draft night.

What fun is the draft when I can’t even point and laugh at the Raiders?

Bring Back Saturday!

First off, I hate the new three-day format. While I understand their efforts to get more viewers during prime-time, I really didn’t like the draft competing with the NBA playoffs. Plus, when the early rounds were on Saturday, that was my one day in about six months in which I could use football as an excuse to put off chores and sit in front of the TV all day. The draft—at least the first couple of rounds—was my get-out-of-jail free card for one day off from spring cleaning and housework. Now, it’s going to be hard to justify to my wife (and myself) why I should spend my Saturday waiting for someone to take a punter in the sixth round instead of fixing the fence in the back yard.

This looks like a job for Mr. Irrelevant!

Nice Guys Finish First

Last night was a big night for “high character” guys. Sam Bradford, Ndamukong Suh and Gerald McCoy are three of the nicest, humblest, most down-to-earth guys you will ever meet. Meanwhile, Dez Bryant, once projected as a top-ten pick, slid all the way to Dallas at #24 based on his off-field issues. With so much focus the last two week on Ben Roethlisberger’s issues, it was nice to see these kind of guys get rewarded. It’ll be interesting to see as the draft progresses if NFL GMs shy away from talented but troubled players in favor of Boy Scouts.

Bradford can smile all the way to the bank.

Injuries are Overrated

On another front, it was good to see two great players who came back for their senior years not have their draft stock hampered by injuries. Sam Bradford, projected as a top pick last year, went #1 overall despite playing in only three games this year due to shoulder injuries. Oklahoma tight end Jermaine Gresham, projected as a mid- to late-first round last year, missed his entire senior season with a knee injury. But he still went #21 to the Bengals, the first tight end taken. (For comparison, last year’s top tight end, Brandon Pettigrew, went to the Lions at #20).

Carson Palmer is the happiest man in Cincinnati today.


And on the Third First Day, Tebow Shall Be Drafted

There was great wailing and gnashing of teeth coming from the Rocky Mountains last night when the Broncos traded up to draft Tim Tebow in the first round. I’m certainly not a Tebow hater, but you have to question the thought process here. It’s obvious the Broncos loved Tebow. Fine. But the Broncos had the 11th pick in the second round. With most teams having Clausen and McCoy higher on their boards, even if some teams in need of a QB got into the game, odds are that Tebow still would have been there. So in essence, the Broncos traded 2nd, 3rd and 4th round picks to move up 18 slots . To their credit, the Broncos have made several trades and still have a stockpile of draft picks, so they have potential for a very solid draft class. But I just think they ended up buying something they could have had anyway.

Just because.

“Who the Hell is Mel Kiper?”

Speaking of Tebow, am I the only one who found Mel Kiper’s reaction when Tebow was drafted hilarious? Kiper acted like someone had just personally insulted his entire family tree when someone dared to take Tebow ahead of his golden child, Jimmy Clausen. I kept waiting for him to pull out dueling pistols and “demand satisfaction.” The only person more worried right now than Jimmy Clausen? U. of Washington QB Jake Locker, who Kiper has already anointed as next year’s #1 pick.



Am I the only one who thinks Kiper is better suited for a Twilight movie than an NFL draft room?

On the plus side, with plenty of talent still left on the board, there's still plenty of time for your favorite team to completely screw the pooch. So stay tuned.

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Friday, May 8, 2009

Every Team Needs an Official Musk

Earlier we showed you the goodie-bag at the NFL Draft Classic. What you didn't see in other video was a Sex-Panther-powerful scent 9IX Rocawear. Why they didn't want a scrawny white dude to pitch it, I'll never know. Feel free to enjoy my attempts as a pitchman. It's official though - it is the official musk of the Jacksonville Jaguars and the New York Football Giants. My work here is done.





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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

HHR at the NFL Draft Classic: Calvin Pace and the Defensive Mastermind

A former #1 draft pick himself, Calvin Pace of the New York Jets has some suggestions for rookies as well as a high endorsement of new coach Rex Ryan.

HHR @ NFL Draft Classic - Calvin Pace and the Defensive Mastermind from HHR on Vimeo.



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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

HHR @ NFL Draft Classic: What Makes Brandon Jacobs Feel Good?

Brandon Jacobs explains in detail how it feels to be a freight train.

HHR @ NFL Draft Classic - What Makes Brandon Jacobs Feel Good? from HHR on Vimeo.

Brandon Jacobs explains in detail how it feels to be a freight train.

Thanks to Ben at berylliumpictures.com and Rob at rrbaker.com




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HHR at the NFL Draft Classic: Melyssa Ford is Bad at Easing Pain

In describing her premonition of the Giants Super Bowl victory over the Pats, Melyssa Ford manages to make me feel simultaneously ashamed and tingly. Well Played.

HHR @ NFL Draft Classic - Melyssa Ford is Bad at Easing Pain. from HHR on Vimeo.




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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Separated at Birth: Access Hollywood

Last night, Lions #1 pick Matthew Stafford went Hollywood doing his best Billy Bush impression on Letterman.




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USC First Rounders Plagued by Facial Pox

Read into this how you will, but I pointed out on Saturday that USC/Texans linebacker Brian Cushing appeared to have an outbreak of chicken pox at Radio City Music Hall on draft day.

He wasn't the only one. Mark Sanchez also appeared to have some sort of pox-like scars on his handsome face.


While Cushing and fellow Trojan backer Clay Matthews were cleared of previously reported failed steroid tests prior to this weekend, one has to wonder what's in the water in Southern California.

With the pandemic scare haunting Mexico and the States, you'd hope NFL team physicians will thoroughly examine their new stars.


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Friday, April 24, 2009

HHR & Yardbarker at NFL Draft Classic

Behold the glory of the Yardbarker microphone. This simple, small, wireless mic is capable of magical powers, enabling he (or she) who holds it to be pursued by athletes, celebrities, and every curious gold-digger within a 15 foot radius. On assignment for Yardbarker, I attended the NFL Draft Classic hosted by Vernon Davis, and as the pictures (and forthcoming video) will show, Vernon was looking to talk to me. Clearly word got to him that I put him on my fantasy team early in his career. I assumed he intended to apologize.

Ha. Kidding.
Sort of. Not really.

Instead, he and his younger brother Vontae, who is a draft pick today but by Sunday night will be an NFL rookie, took time to hang out and talk shop with a scrawny bobbleheaded guy who is pasty white in a way only New England can produce. The fuzzy blackberry pics tell the story for now.

As you can see, Vernon Davis plays cool and acts unaffected by my celebrity status...


Vontae, however - his enthusiasm knows no bounds.

We have lots of video to come - as we were one of only 4 outlets allowed to shoot the inside of the party, so after an early trip out of NYC this morning, we're getting down to editing out all the crap where I keep asking why 3 drinks costs $55 and they only take cash.

But elsewhere in there we talked with players (and a Yardbarker blogger or two) from the Jets (Calvin Pace) the Giants (Brandon Jacobs and Terrence Pennington), the Jaguars, the Ravens, R&B singer Monica, Melyssa Ford, and D Woods from Making the Band (who gets a mention because she's from Springfield, MA and loves the Pats. Melyssa Ford gets a nod because she spent 30 seconds ripping into Patriots and then after realizing I was from Boston, cackled in my face and half-apologized. In that order.).


Aside from the part where she reveled in the Pats Superbowl loss
to the Giants with a mix of glee and sadism, Melyssa Ford was quite lovely.

Stay tuned -we have lots of video to come. Enjoy the draft!

ALSO: A very special thanks (and happy birthday) to Ben at Beryllium Pictures for making the trek and shooting on the last full night of his 20's. I did manage to get a drunk girl to sing happy birthday to him while he filmed, so in a way, it's kind of like he owes me now.

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Tough Times For Former Lion Draft Pick Mike Williams

It takes a keen eye, but our crack staff at HHR believes we have spotted Williams relaxing outside of the Detroit Civic Center in a video for the T-Baby rap hit "It's So Cold in the D[etroit]."

So cold indeed.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Chris Long, Get Ready to Ram It

Chris Long, welcome to the brotherhood of Rammers.

Ramming is fun when you Ram it with me. You can Ram it all night.

Bar none, the greatest 80's team rap video found on line to date...

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Someone Send Meds

I'm stuck in (on?) Long Island.

I think I contracted syphilis from Keyshawn's get-up (garb?).

WARNING: Staring directly at Keyshawn Johnson may cause you to contract an STD.

Dillusion's set in.

I just imagined the Eagles traded away their 1st round pick which ended up being a position they were targeting.

SOS

-Ren

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

Photo credit: Awful Announcing

ESPN: No Fun Police

I turned on ESPN around 12:40 p.m. today because for some reason I thought the draft started at 12:30 p.m. I was wrong. It must have been the pre-pre-draft show because there is a bunch of talking heads blowing more wind about the NFL draft.

I love the NFL draft. One of the best days in sports. This year though something is turning me off. It might be the five different mock drafts on SI.com with four different versions or the assortment of mock drafts on the WWL website with corresponding 8.0’s.

Either way, what irked me to write this post with an hour to go before the beginning of the draft that has been hyped up since before the Super Bowl is the fact that at 12:40 p.m. ESPN had determined by themselves (with help from the Dolphins) the first four picks of the draft.

What does this add? How does this benefit me that you have your reporters snooping around the halls of these establishments figuring out who they are going to pick three hours before the start of the draft?

I sincerely hope that the teams have played the reporters like a fiddle, and Michael Smith’s breaking news on the Rams selecting Chris Long is total BS. Then, the corresponding reports that the Falcons will select Matt Ryan and Oakland Darren McFadden. Please be using these jackhole reporters as pawns.

If I were a fan of St. Louis, Atlanta and Oakland geared up to watch the draft and have ESPN already telling me who they are going to select three hours beforehand, I would be pissed. It’s a good way for ESPN to drive away viewership of their highly publicized draft event.

Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t see what this adds for the fans. All I see is a more cocksure Michael Smith showing how he can “work” a source to get information.

Am I wrong here?

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Draft Day: BDSSP's Lazy Saturday

BMan, Ariel's boy from her days at the 'Cuse and our mole contact at The Best Damn Sports Show, passed along this cameo-laden vid featuring McFadden, Gholson, Phillips, Talib and, um, Kim Kardashian, among others.

Separated at Birth Blah: Draft Weekend Blah

Transylvanian Mel Kiper comes out of his cavernous hibernation this weekend, to stand side by side with Greg the Bunny'sCount Blah, blah.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

What Was I Thinking!?

by Matt Ryan

God my mouth is stinging. But I am SOOOOOO buzzing right now. I can't believe NFL players really put this much Skoal in their mouth - you can barely see it on TV. Glad I talked to Brohm last night or I would've looked totally stupid. Lucky he called me and mentioned it! Oh maaaaaannnnn my head is lighter than Lara Flynn Boyle with raging dysentery.

ComeonMattyComeonMatty.... This is the big time. You knew you couldn't lay around with Herm all day. This is it, this is THE throw. Don't worry about anything. This feels good, so effing good. I'm gonna freaking huck this thing 200 yards. There's gonna be a new sex cannon in town, bitches. Woah, did I just swear? That's so cool. I've never done that. Dude, F this "All-American" image in the A!

Poopie! Cucka!

OK, here it comes... gotta project toughness, consistency, and a winning attitude. Maybe if I channel that other Boston legend, that fixture of rough-and-tumble combat... Wait... What's my hand doing? Why is it....


Oh Fuckballs.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Welcome back old friend



He shows up every year around February. Like clockwork. As automatic as the mailman or the Pirates being out of the playoffs by July. Spending most of the winter months nestled deep in his hole, his emergence is covered by major news outlet across the US. What will his prediction be this year? Will it be a prosperous spring? Or will some still experience a dark, dreary outlook for the weeks and months to come. Only he knows. Punxsutawney Phil? My ass. This guy is more important and has a nicer head of hair.

Mel Kiper Jr. And his prediction is this...10 more weeks till the NFL Draft.

Mel has been popping up everywhere. He loves this time of year. The days get a little longer. They don’t seem as dreary. He shows up on ESPN radio, in Internet columns and newspaper clippings. With his car salesman smile and Johnny Fontaine charm, he holds in his hand the information that every team shells out countless of dollars to obtain.

With the NFL combines starting tomorrow, this is Mel’s bread and butter time. This is how he makes his living. Months of tape watching, scouting, reporting, and eavesdropping come down to a day of mass hysteria.

Listening to him talk up the intangibles of Darren McFadden on a recent radio spot, I started to wonder: How the hell does he know all this? Better yet, how does he remember? This isn't the NFL where you have to remember 32 teams of 50-60 players. He is forced to stay abreast on hundreds and hundreds of Division I-III players. I am not naive to think that he doesn't prep himself before every appearance, but he speaks off the cuff about random players in such a matter-of-fact fashion you would think he has 24 hour surveillance around their homes.

I searched online and found little information about the draft day guru. His bio is available on ESPN.com. Here is what I found:

Kiper is president of Draft Publications Inc., which he founded in 1981 while in college. It is responsible for all aspects of two annual publications: NFL Draft Report and Draft Preview.."

That fact astounds me. During college I found it impossible to attend two classes on the same day, and Mel is starting a business and compiling college football stat information. If I hadn’t concentrated so much on beer pong and getting, maybe things could have turned out different.

Mel Kiper Jr. has served as expert analyst for ESPN's annual NFL Draft coverage since 1984, providing in-depth information on the nation's most talented collegiate football players.

So he starts a company and three years later he is giving expert analysis on ESPN? Granted ESPN wasn't the sports information juggernaut it is today, but still that's impressive. Unless, it was easy to get a gig with an upstart 24 hours a day sports cable station. I want to interview the guy who hired him. "Well Mel showed up with a big book of stats he put together so we figured let's just put him on the air. If things didn't go well, we had Diamond David Lee Roth backstage. He just got booted from Van Halen, but he appealed to the younger demo."

His pre-draft predictions are frequently the most accurate in the business, often as much as 80 percent correct on first-round selections.

80% of the time? I’ll need some pie charts and back-up data on that statement. (I think this bio is getting a bit slanted in Mel’s favor.)


His continuous, yearlong research is aided by an office equipped with satellite dishes allowing him to pick up 20 to 25 college games each week.

Why am I picturing Mel in the Batcave, with a butler named Alfred making him Latte Shooters with a Red Bull chaser to keep him coherent for Nevada at Hawaii.

Mel's hair is made entirely of black licorice and shellacked with Minwax for that all day shine.

Ok, I made that up.

Another interesting note that ESPN omitted; Mel got into his personal life on the radio once and discussed some of his more peculiar habits. Among them, he eats pumpkin pie for breakfast every morning. True story.

Anyway. Welcome back Mel. We missed you.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Spygate II: More NFL Espionage?

There was an interesting article this morning in the Star Ledger (Newark, NJ) about the pre-combine training regimen of Rutgers record-setting running back Ray Rice at the Parisi Speed School in Fair Lawn, NJ.

Who is the guy cracking the whip on Rice, and honning his skills that will be under the microscope at the pre-draft workout? Earnest Byner, "the former NFL star."

Until 2 days ago, Byner was the Redskins' running backs coach before being replaced, not unexpectedly, by Stump Mitchell.

We are big Rice fans and want to see him do well at the next level, and by all means improve his draft status. The red flag that jumps in front of our face is the possible impropriety of having an NFL coach (who, while currently jobless, is likely to be picked up by another team) as your hands-on instructor. The article notes that Parisi has 20 players working out in advance of the Combine.

Hey, we don't fault the guy for making a living, but it just seems a little shady.

The article makes no mention of how long Byner's been involved with the Parisi Speed School, but a glance at the Redskins 2007 Media Guide indicates that he isn't the only one with connections to the school.

In strength and conditioning coach Harrison Benstein's profile is the following note: "After a couple of years, he pursued his passion for teaching athletes and became Assistant Managing Director for the Parisi Speed School in northern New Jersey."


To us, this looks like the Redskins, as well as possibly other teams, have an unfair advantage in not just evaluating, but more specifically, developing potential NFL talent.

While Belichick is rightfully vilified, St. Joe Gibbs and how many countless other coaches were/are using spy-like tactics to secure a competitive advantage?

Friday, January 18, 2008

Get your popcorn ready! It's movie time

Sent in from friend and reader Art Vandeley...

In the Summer of 2006, two young men, Terrell a brash and misunderstood wide receiver and Antonio an aspiring quarterback and wanna-be-celebrity, are brought in to work together to bring a championship to America's Team. What had otherwise been anticipated to be a rather eventful venture (13-3 and top seed) would soon turn into an affair of love, of lust, and complications (losing in the first round two straight seasons) that will spand through countless seaons of their lives. Through trips to Cabo, attempted suicides that might not have happened, and the mighty grip of societal confines and the expectations of what it is to be a man.

Terrell Owens. Tony Romo.


(If you are the person responsible for this amazing photoshop job, let me know and I will credit and name my first born after you.)

Saturday, January 12, 2008

McFadden Dad: ESPN Wrong (again)

Apparently ESPN has learned nothing from the Kirk Herbstreit Les Miles fiasco and Richard Simmons' training is for crap.

SI: McFadden's dad denies ESPN report
The father of Arkansas star Darren McFadden denied a report that he has sent paperwork to the NFL so his son can enter the upcoming draft.

ESPN.com, citing unidentified sources, reported that Graylon McFadden provided the relevant paperwork early this week.

"I hate to be saying anything because all these false stories and everything are floating around," Graylon McFadden told The Associated Press on Saturday. "But no I didn't -- and that's all I've got to say."
Check those source! Check those sources!

Stop the Music! McFadden heading to NFL draft

Sources: Arkansas' McFadden to declare for NFL draft

Some scouts, however, did note that teams interested in choosing McFadden will investigate an early Thursday incident in which he was briefly handcuffed and then released following a disturbance outside of a Little Rock piano bar that was described by a police spokesperson as "a pretty rowdy scene."

I've been to that bar and I've seen it get kind of ugly. Especially after last call and the main act ends the night.