The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Round One

From a cynic’s perspective, last night’s Round One of the NFL draft was very disappointing. After all, my job is to write about the bad and stupid things that football teams do. And yesterday was remarkably devoid of that. Sure, there were some surprises (Clausen falling out of the first round). And some teams reached for players they probably could have gotten later (Tebow, Alualu). And invariably some of these players will be busts. But all in all, I think most teams did what they needed to do. So with that, I’ll do my best to comment on a few things about draft night.

What fun is the draft when I can’t even point and laugh at the Raiders?

Bring Back Saturday!

First off, I hate the new three-day format. While I understand their efforts to get more viewers during prime-time, I really didn’t like the draft competing with the NBA playoffs. Plus, when the early rounds were on Saturday, that was my one day in about six months in which I could use football as an excuse to put off chores and sit in front of the TV all day. The draft—at least the first couple of rounds—was my get-out-of-jail free card for one day off from spring cleaning and housework. Now, it’s going to be hard to justify to my wife (and myself) why I should spend my Saturday waiting for someone to take a punter in the sixth round instead of fixing the fence in the back yard.

This looks like a job for Mr. Irrelevant!

Nice Guys Finish First

Last night was a big night for “high character” guys. Sam Bradford, Ndamukong Suh and Gerald McCoy are three of the nicest, humblest, most down-to-earth guys you will ever meet. Meanwhile, Dez Bryant, once projected as a top-ten pick, slid all the way to Dallas at #24 based on his off-field issues. With so much focus the last two week on Ben Roethlisberger’s issues, it was nice to see these kind of guys get rewarded. It’ll be interesting to see as the draft progresses if NFL GMs shy away from talented but troubled players in favor of Boy Scouts.

Bradford can smile all the way to the bank.

Injuries are Overrated

On another front, it was good to see two great players who came back for their senior years not have their draft stock hampered by injuries. Sam Bradford, projected as a top pick last year, went #1 overall despite playing in only three games this year due to shoulder injuries. Oklahoma tight end Jermaine Gresham, projected as a mid- to late-first round last year, missed his entire senior season with a knee injury. But he still went #21 to the Bengals, the first tight end taken. (For comparison, last year’s top tight end, Brandon Pettigrew, went to the Lions at #20).

Carson Palmer is the happiest man in Cincinnati today.

And on the Third First Day, Tebow Shall Be Drafted

There was great wailing and gnashing of teeth coming from the Rocky Mountains last night when the Broncos traded up to draft Tim Tebow in the first round. I’m certainly not a Tebow hater, but you have to question the thought process here. It’s obvious the Broncos loved Tebow. Fine. But the Broncos had the 11th pick in the second round. With most teams having Clausen and McCoy higher on their boards, even if some teams in need of a QB got into the game, odds are that Tebow still would have been there. So in essence, the Broncos traded 2nd, 3rd and 4th round picks to move up 18 slots . To their credit, the Broncos have made several trades and still have a stockpile of draft picks, so they have potential for a very solid draft class. But I just think they ended up buying something they could have had anyway.

Just because.

“Who the Hell is Mel Kiper?”

Speaking of Tebow, am I the only one who found Mel Kiper’s reaction when Tebow was drafted hilarious? Kiper acted like someone had just personally insulted his entire family tree when someone dared to take Tebow ahead of his golden child, Jimmy Clausen. I kept waiting for him to pull out dueling pistols and “demand satisfaction.” The only person more worried right now than Jimmy Clausen? U. of Washington QB Jake Locker, who Kiper has already anointed as next year’s #1 pick.

Am I the only one who thinks Kiper is better suited for a Twilight movie than an NFL draft room?

On the plus side, with plenty of talent still left on the board, there's still plenty of time for your favorite team to completely screw the pooch. So stay tuned.

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The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Week 14

What a long strange trip it's been. Some of you are celebrating the fact that your team had a good season. Others (including myself) are left to rehash a more "challenging" season. We’ve suffered through a lot of bad football this year, but the last week did a lot to kind of redeem the season. Some great games with wild endings. Cincinnati and Pitt battling back and forth for a Sugar Bowl bid. An offensive lineman making the winning score for Fresno State. And Texas advancing to the national championship by winning the first ever 60 minute and 1 second-long football game. I’ll have my end-of-the-year wrap-up and Cynic’s Awards coming soon, but I wanted to give just a few final comments on the week that was.

1. Random thought: With the firings of Charlie Weis and Mark Mangino, what does that do to the collective Body Mass Index of the coaching profession?

Note to self: Hit the treadmill immediately after posting.

2. That wailing and gnashing of teeth you hear in the middle of the country is coming from Missouri fans disgusted with the Big 12 bowl selection process, which allows affiliated bowls to choose a bowl-eligible team rather than taking the available team with the best record. In this case, 8-4 Missouri got passed up by the Insight Bowl in favor of 6-6 Iowa State. Nine years ago, Cyclones fans flocked to Tucson by the thousands, and Insight Bowl officials are obviously hoping for a repeat performance. But for Mizzou, the Insight’s move dropped them all the way down to the Texas Bowl against Navy. While Houston has its pluses, and it can’t hurt for recruiting in Texas, a trip to the Big 12’s last place bowl tie-in instead of sunny Arizona isn’t the post-season reward the Tigers were expecting.

This is the best news in Ames since Gene Chizik left for Auburn.

3. Stat of the Week: In last week’s Big 12 Championship Game, Ndamukong Suh had more yardage in sacks and tackles for loss than Husker QBs had passing.

Suh’s shown he can find the end zone. Maybe the Huskers should’ve started him at quarterback.

4. For anyone who didn’t see the ending of last week’s Fresno State/Illinois game, you owe it to yourself to check out one of the wildest endings to a game this—or any other—season.

5. I’ve cast my Heisman ballot and I don’t really have much of a problem with the final five who made the cut. But am I the only one a little surprised that no wide receivers are getting any love this year? It’s not like Golden Tate and Mardy Gilyard were chopped liver.

Mmmmm. Wideout.

6. A Facebook page for fans of Tim Tebow crying has gained over 64,000 fans in four days.

I’m guessing these guys aren’t fans.

7. Last week, Oklahoma State University president Burns Hargis announced that he was pulling OSU out of an NIH-funded research study of a new anthrax vaccine. The tests would have been conducted on baboons, which would then be euthanized. What does this have to do with football? Just this—Madeleine Pickens, the wife of OSU sugar daddy T. Boone Pickens, is a big animal rights activist who recently pulled a $5 million donation to the OSU veterinary program. While Hargis denies any connection, I think we can connect the dots on this one. So let this be a lesson to your athletic department—while it might be nice having someone write you checks with a whole bunch of zeroes, that kind of money always comes with strings
attached.

In a related story, a University of Oregon graduate student mysteriously went missing last week after submitting a paper on human rights abuses and the use of child labor by multinational clothing conglomerates.

8. If Army upsets Navy on Saturday, the Black Knights will play Temple in the Eagle Bank Bowl. You read that right. Army. Temple. Bowl game.

Camo uniforms = bowl bid. Mark it down.

9. But which is more surprising—that Army and Temple could make a bowl, period? Or that USC and Oklahoma would end up in the Emerald Bowl and Sun Bowl, respectively?

I have friends who went to Oklahoma. Christmas shopping? Done.

10. The NCAA is reportedly investigating Tennessee for recruiting violations involving using hookers, um, I mean Tiger’s exes, um, I mean “student hostesses” to lure potential recruits. Wait, a college using the promise of cheap sex with hot co-eds as an incentive to come to campus? Man, when I enrolled in college, all I got was a map of the campus and a free t-shirt.

Note to self #2: Be reincarnated as a Vols recruit.

For the majority of you, your favorite teams will be playing in a bowl game, so stick around for more the next few weeks. For the rest of you, well, there’s always basketball season.

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Rusty Vs. Rev: Florida Vs. LSU

Each week, HHR's Southern Gents, Rusty and Rev. Shaw Moore, will steal a page from NASCAR.com and go Head2Head and argue the winners of one of the week's upcoming marquee games.

Rev Takes LSU


For LSU, the start of SEC play has been heart-stopping to say the least. Against lowly Mississippi State, the Tigers needed a spectacular punt return for a TD and a last-minute, goal line stand to hold off the Bulldogs. Then, last week against the Bulldogs from Georgia, LSU got the biggest, most undeserved early Christmas present in the 2009 season when the refs handed out a completely bogus excessive celebration penalty on UGA wideout A.J. Green in the closing minutes of that game. I don’t know what exactly was excessive about the celebration, but the penalty did move LSU into great field position for a winning TD run by Charles Scott.

It certainly hasn’t been pretty – but in all reality, SEC football rarely is. The important thing for LSU is that they are still undefeated and keeping pace with Auburn and Alabama in the West. And while their first two SEC games haven’t been picture perfect, they’ve got a great shot to polish their image with Florida rolling into town this week.

What’s astonishing about LSU and Florida that the winner of this game has gone on to win the last three BCS championships. Now consider that Florida has been an odds-on favorite to make it to the championship since the start of the season, those hopes would have been in major jeopardy had this game been played last week. Human battering ram Tim Tebow was battered himself, sidelined with a concussion he received against Kentucky. As for the rest of the team, they were all fighting the effects of a flu virus that apparently spread through that locker room like the plague in Middle Ages Europe. Fortunately for Florida, last week was their bye week, so they got a week to recover and prepare for the biggest game on their 2009 schedule.

Still, with that week off, there are lingering doubts as to Tebow’s condition and availability. He’s apparently still a game-time decision, and it’s anybody’s guess how well he could play coming off the concussion. Keep in mind, Tebow is usually the one handing out the punishment. Now with soup for brains, it will be interesting to see if Tebow is able to keep that same aggressiveness that has been his trademark these past 3 ½ years.

Tebow’s injury status aside, LSU will still be up against their biggest challenge to date. The Tigers have been positively horrible on offense – as a unit, they rank 99th out of 120 teams. It doesn’t make matters any easier considering Florida has the number one ranked defense in the country. I don’t expect LSU to score much at all on offense against UF, so special teams will be absolutely critical for the Tigers. Mighty-mite Trindon Holliday will have to have a big game returning kickoffs and punts to maintain manageable field position for LSU. Plus, he’s got the combination of speed and elusiveness that makes him a threat to take one to the house at any time.

While LSU may be slightly less talented overall than Florida, they do have one major factor working in their favor: the Tigers are damn-near unbeatable at home. The crowd at Death Valley on Saturday nights can be a crazy deranged mob, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Mix in a chance of rain and way to much whiskey in the stands, and you know it will be the most inhospitable environment Florida will face all year. I’m calling this one for LSU: 17-14.

Rusty Takes the Gators


While the college football world tries to read the tea leaves and determine if His Excellency Tim Tebow will start tomorrow against the LSU Tigers, Rusty isn’t going to worry about it. With or without Tebow, the Gators are still the best team in college football. Tebow's good (see an earlier post before the game against Tennessee), but he's not everything. The Florida offense has not shown any real weakness this year, scoring less than 40 points only once; a 23-13 win against Tennessee. In the other 3 games, Florida has tallied an amazing 159 points.

By facing cupcakes the likes of Troy and Charleston Southern, Urban Meyer's had a prolonged preseason to get his team warmed up and ready for the serious play in the SEC. As the Rev said, the winner of this game has gone on to win the BCS the last several years. Make no mistake about it, the coaches, players and everyone involved know that. So, while LSU's had to battle to get here, Florida's bowled over a few opponents and is hitting 4th gear coming into this weekend's game.

The Florida offense ranks #3 in the country, amassing an average of 526 yards a game. When the Gators make it into the red zone, they score over 90 percent of the time, and over two thirds of the time it's for 7. These boys from the Swamp know how to score. Now, granted, Tebow has accounted for a considerable portion of that offense, but it's not the passing attack that's propelling the Gators to the top. Florida is only ranked #58 in passing efficiency, but the Gators possess the #1 rushing attack with two great backs carrying the load with Tebow. Sophomore Jeff Demps and Junior Chris Rainey have combined to average well over 100 yards a game. Against a rushing defense that's giving up over a hundred yards every week, I would imagine this dynamic duo to keep racking up respectable numbers against the Tigers.

On the other side of the ball, Florida's been even more dominant. The Gators are bringing the #1 Defense in the country into Tiger Stadium tomorrow night. This is a defense that is giving up less than 215 yards of offense a week. Opposing teams have only seen double digits once against Florida, and that was Tennessee who only scored 13. Finding the end zone is going to be tough for LSU, no matter how many screaming Cajuns are bussed into Baton Rouge.

So, with an offense that's just hitting it's stride, a defense that able to crush opponents, I expect with or without Tebow, the Gators will win this weekend on their way to a 3rd national title. Florida wins 24-17.

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Tim Tebow Brings Visions of Terry Baker

When Kentucky coach Rich Brooks thinks Tim Tebow, he's reminded of his old Oregon State teammate and former Heisman winner Terry Baker. Obviously.

Via One Great Season...

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Rusty Vs. Rev: Florida Vs. UT

Each week, HHR's Southern Gents, Rusty and Rev. Shaw Moore, will steal a page from NASCAR.com and go Head2Head and argue the winners of one of the week's upcoming marquee games.

Rev Pick the Vols.


Florida has won four straight against Tennessee, including a 59-20 romp over the Vols last year in Knoxville. For those of us who’ve watched SEC football for most our lives, I think we can all agree that the world was a better place when this was an actual hot-blooded rivalry. So allow me to send a big “THANK YOU” to Vols coach Lane Kiffin for doing the unthinkable: calling out Urban Meyer and the Gators. As I write, I’m sure the Gator faithful are loading up on the brown water in preparation for Saturday’s big game.

Though Kiffin has next to no standing in the SEC, I like the fact that he’s trash talking Florida. Clearly, the Tennessee fan base is depressed – except for a freak appearance in the SEC title game, the last four or five years of the Phil Fulmer regime were enough to make ole’ Smoky howl in disgust. Vols fans need something to cheer about, or at least a leader to rally around.

On the other hand, it’s entirely possible that Kiffin’s remarks weren’t as innocent as that. From Athens to Baton Rouge, the hatred for the Gators is near universal – so give Kiffin a little credit for saying what everyone else in the league thinks, but would never dare say.

Clearly Florida is the superior team heading in to Saturday’s matchup, led by Mr. Universe, Tim Tebow. That doesn’t mean that the Vols don’t have a chance. I might be one of the (very) few who believes this, but I think the Vols are going to give the Gators a pretty good fight on Saturday.

Tennessee’s obvious strength is their defense. The Vols sport their own Mr. Universe, of sorts, in All-American safety Eric Berry – he’s one of the premier defensive talents in the country, and he won’t hesitate to blow up any ball carrier if given the chance. Though the Vols lost last week vs. UCLA, you can’t fault the D – they yielded only 186 total yards and four field goals to the Bruins. Plus, with former NFL defensive savant Monte Kiffin calling the shots, I think Florida’s gimmick spread offense could be in for a challenge it hasn’t seen for quite some time.

The offense, well … that’s another story. QB Jonathan Crompton was highly regarded coming out of high school, but he has fallen far short of his billing so far in college. He was simply atrocious against UCLA last week (13/26, 93 yards, 3 Int’s), almost single-handedly tanking the game for UT. He’ll get his shot to do better this week – Crompton is sure to see seven- and eight-man fronts from Florida, who I expect will load up to stop the run (UT backs Montario Hardesty and Bryce Brown combined for 40 carries last week). Quick, intermediate routes should be there for Crompton; but after last week’s performance, it’s anybody’s guess whether he’ll be completing those passes to UT receivers or to Florida defenders.

All that aside, it was just a year ago that Ole Miss marched into the Swamp and upset Florida. I think it can happen again here. Tennessee has to get better production out of their offense this week and not turn the ball over so carelessly. Tennessee rang up 63 points in week one against Western Kentucky; obviously they’ll face a much, much more talented foe this week, but you know there is some talent on that side of the ball. I expect the UT defense to play as well as any unit the Gators will face this year, and if they can force some turnovers of their own – look out! Lane Kiffin better start learning the words to Rocky Top, because I’m calling the upset special: 28-26 in favor of the Vols.


Rusty Takes Tebow.
























Ole Rusty knew the Rev, or All-In as he's known in other circles, was a gambler, but this is just insanity. Thinking that UT has a snowball's chance at beating Florida, especially in the Swamp, makes as much sense as a screen door on a submarine. Why, you may ask? I've got 1 word for you, TEBOW!!!! This kid is good. He's like Jesus, Buddha, Muhammed, and Obama all wrapped up in one package. He throws TD's, he runs for TD's, he teaches Sunday School, he wins Heisman's, I think he even does your taxes.

In addition to Tebow on offense, the defending national champion Gators brought back all 11 starters on defense. On the offensive side of the ball, one of the few big losses was star wideout Percy Harvin, who's now playing ball on Sundays. His loss does hurt, but with so many other weapons, including Tebow (I really cannot mention him enough) and a stout defense, Florida should easily be able to handle Tennessee. At the running back position, Florida's got a cadre of talent and they all get to run behind of the best offensive lines in the NCAA.

It's quickly easy to see why Florida's got the #1 offense in the country. In Florida's first two games against Charleston Southern and Troy, they chalked up an amazing 118 points, while the defense only gave up 9. They are fast, big, and able to run up the score, quickly.

Now, as if going down to the swamp to play the Gator behemoth isn't enough of a challenge, Tennessee decided they'd get into a war of words and hurl some verbal footballs down to Gainesville, too. Now, if you've gotta go climb a tree, does it make sense to stir up the hornet's nest hanging from the branch, first?

So, make no mistake about it, Urban Meyer will have his boys more than ready, and the Swamp will be jumping come Saturday. Tennessee's got a new coach, a questionable quarterback, and has to go on the road to one of the toughest places to play against the #1 team in the country with JesuBamahammeda at the helm. Sorry, Rev . . . the Gators win this one, and win it big.

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WDG's Bold Predictions

Keep in mind, I'm the same guy who predicted Tim Tebow would be benched by week 7 last year. But with that, here are my completely uneducated, yet bold, picks for 2008.

"Two reasons I care little for your predictions."

1. Georgia will have at least two losses this year. I know they're loaded with talent but losing their starting LT will be a bigger loss than some people think. And, sorry Dawg fans (including my mother), but I just don't think much of Richt as a big game coach. (Random side note: UGA's game at Arizona State is their first non-conference regular season game west of the Mississippi since 1967.) Knowshon Moreno is the real deal but, other than him, I'm not sold on Georgia as being head and shoulders above Tennessee, Florida, etc. On that note . . .

2. The SEC will still be the best conference overall, but the Big 12 will close the gap quite a bit this year. The Big 12 will be really good this year based on QBs alone. 9 of the league's 12 teams return starting QBs. Chase Daniel and Sam Bradford are legit Heisman candidates and Graham Harrell will continue to put up video game-type numbers. Zac Robinson at Oklahoma State is the best run/pass QB not named Tim Tebow. Heck, the biggest question mark of these nine is Joe Ganz at Nebraska, and all he did in his three games as starter was throw for 1400 yards and 15 TDs. I don't ever remember a conference returning so much talent at the top. If Kansas and Missouri can come close to replicating last season, the Big 12 will be a player in the national mix.

3. Tim Tebow will not win the Heisman this year. This not a knock on Tebow, who proved me oh-so-wrong last year. But I think his own backfield will be working against him. On paper, Florida should have a better running game, something they didn’t have last year. In goal line situations, Tebow was their best running option and got a lot of ground TDs. So in the absence of any standout competition for the Heisman, it was hard for voters to argue with 20+ TDs both passing and rushing. This year, I expect he’ll have fewer rushing TDs (but probably more passing). While it may help Florida as a team, it will hurt the 20/20 novelty factor. I still expect him to be a finalist (wonder if he’ll vote for himself?) but not win it.

4. Bobby Bowden will take some of the heat off himself with a nine-win season for Florida State.

5. Upset Special: Appalachian State will give LSU a run for their money, but won’t pull the shocker this year. My pick for “out there” upset is Eastern Washington over Colorado. I’m not basing this on any perceived weakness at CU or strength at EWU. I’m looking strictly at the schedule—CU will be coming off a big rivalry game vs. Colorado State and will be looking ahead to a Thursday night game vs. West Virginia and then Florida State the week later. A classic trap game.

6. Buffalo and SMU will be surprise bowl teams.

June Jones will have SMU back in the top-25 sooner rather than later. And Turner Gill at Buffalo will be on a lot of short lists for higher-profile coaching vacancies next year. And speaking of which . . .

7. Kirk Ferentz and Mike Stoops will be job hunting in December.

8. Texas Tech wide receiver Michael Crabtree will make ESPN’s Top Plays at least four times this season. If you don’t know about this guy, trust me, you should. I know he puts up monster numbers in part thanks to Mike Leach’s “throw at all costs” offense, but Crabtree is as good and athletic a receiver as you will find, and you have to see some of his grabs to believe them. Don’t be surprised to see him at the Heisman ceremony.



9. BCS Buster: Everyone is so high on BYU to run the table and be this year’s Hawaii. I don’t know that they’re even the best team in the MWC. If I had to bet on a non-BCS team making it in, I’d take Utah. They open at Michigan and have a 10/2 game vs. Oregon State. But the Utes are good enough to win those games and will likely be favored in every other game until the game at home vs. BYU to end the season. That game could well be between two unbeatens fighting for a spot in a BCS bowl game. I pick the Utes.

10. And last but not least, Ohio State will lose to USC on 9/13, but will then run the table, climb back up the rankings and upset unbeaten Oklahoma in the championship game. Third time’s the charm for tOSU, and the heat on “Big Game” Bob Stoops will ratchet a couple of degrees higher.