The Cynic’s Guide to College Football: Week 5

Today marks the anniversary of one of the most infamous days in college football history (more below). So, I thought it might be a good time to do a now-and-then theme for this week’s Cynic’s Guide.

A Long Time Coming
Today is the 20th anniversary of arguably the all-time worst officiating job in the history of college football. In the waning seconds of their game at Missouri, Colorado was not only given an extra down, but replays clearly showed that the Colorado QB carrying the ball on 5th down never got the ball across the goal line but was awarded a touchdown anyway. CU went on to win a share of the national championship, becoming not the first, nor the last, but certainly one of the most obvious beneficiaries of bad officiating. But football karma always catches up with you. And how far has CU fallen in the last 20 years? Instead of competing for national championships, this last weekend their fans rushed the field . . . after beating Georgia . . . who is 1-4.

“Gotta get pumped to help tear down the goal posts when we play Baylor in a couple weeks.”

Les Miles: The New Homer.
In 1991, there was an episode of The Simpsons in which Homer saved the Springfield nuclear plant from a meltdown when he just happened to push the right button by playing Eenie Meenie Miny Moe. Later, the term “pull a Homer” was added to the dictionary with the definition “to succeed despite idiocy.” As such, I propose that LSU replace its mascot Mike the Tiger with Homer Simpson. I mean, what better representation of the term “pulling a Homer” is there than Les Miles? The man makes more boneheaded decisions and clock management blunders (see Exhibit A: the last minute of last week’s LSU/Tennessee game) by Week 5 every year than most coaches do in a career. And yet he still manages to pull out wins. It’s uncanny.

Previous mascot experience? Check.

Keep Your Friends Close . . .
Earlier this week, North Carolina head coach Butch Davis said, “I’m sorry that I trusted John Blake.” Funny. That’s the same thing Oklahoma fans were saying in 1998.

“Remember that time when I was just a 12-22 coach, instead of a crook?”

Too Early to Pull the Plug?
In 1983, Turner Gill was the triggerman for one of the most prolific offenses in college history. Gill, Heisman winner Mike Rozier and #1 overall draft pick Irving Fryar were the cornerstones of the "scoring explosion" that dominated football that year, but came up one play short in the national championship game. My, how things have changed. I’m usually a firm believer in giving new coaches at least 3-4 years to get their own players and systems in place before making any drastic moves. But I’ve gotta say that rule may be getting more flexible all the time in Lawrence, KS. Turner Gill’s tenure as the Jayhawks' head coach started off rough with a home loss to FCS North Dakota State. And, aside from an upset of Georgia Tech, has kept going downhill, most recently getting blown out, 55-7, by Baylor. (Yes, Baylor.) Gill has made more news for his “no cell phones the night before games and no girls after 10 pm” rules than anything the Jayhawks have done on the field.

Don’t worry, Jayhawks. Basketball season is almost here.

A Simpler Time
Amazing fact of the day, courtesy of ESPN’s Ivan Maisel: Before this week, the last time Texas was unranked was October 15, 2000. Today, more coaches of ranked teams in that poll (Mike Bellotti at Oregon, Dennis Franchione at TCU, Lou Holtz at South Carolina and Bob Davie at Notre Dame) work for ESPN than are still at the same schools (Frank Beamer at Virginia Tech, Bob Stoops at Oklahoma and Bill Snyder—who left but has now returned—at Kansas State).

The last time UT was unranked, Meet the Parents was the #1 movie in America, the economy was good and most people had ever heard of BALCO, hanging chads, Al Queda or Justin Bieber. Ah, the good ol’ days.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

The Cynic's Guide to College Football: Week 14

What a long strange trip it's been. Some of you are celebrating the fact that your team had a good season. Others (including myself) are left to rehash a more "challenging" season. We’ve suffered through a lot of bad football this year, but the last week did a lot to kind of redeem the season. Some great games with wild endings. Cincinnati and Pitt battling back and forth for a Sugar Bowl bid. An offensive lineman making the winning score for Fresno State. And Texas advancing to the national championship by winning the first ever 60 minute and 1 second-long football game. I’ll have my end-of-the-year wrap-up and Cynic’s Awards coming soon, but I wanted to give just a few final comments on the week that was.

1. Random thought: With the firings of Charlie Weis and Mark Mangino, what does that do to the collective Body Mass Index of the coaching profession?

Note to self: Hit the treadmill immediately after posting.

2. That wailing and gnashing of teeth you hear in the middle of the country is coming from Missouri fans disgusted with the Big 12 bowl selection process, which allows affiliated bowls to choose a bowl-eligible team rather than taking the available team with the best record. In this case, 8-4 Missouri got passed up by the Insight Bowl in favor of 6-6 Iowa State. Nine years ago, Cyclones fans flocked to Tucson by the thousands, and Insight Bowl officials are obviously hoping for a repeat performance. But for Mizzou, the Insight’s move dropped them all the way down to the Texas Bowl against Navy. While Houston has its pluses, and it can’t hurt for recruiting in Texas, a trip to the Big 12’s last place bowl tie-in instead of sunny Arizona isn’t the post-season reward the Tigers were expecting.

This is the best news in Ames since Gene Chizik left for Auburn.

3. Stat of the Week: In last week’s Big 12 Championship Game, Ndamukong Suh had more yardage in sacks and tackles for loss than Husker QBs had passing.

Suh’s shown he can find the end zone. Maybe the Huskers should’ve started him at quarterback.

4. For anyone who didn’t see the ending of last week’s Fresno State/Illinois game, you owe it to yourself to check out one of the wildest endings to a game this—or any other—season.

5. I’ve cast my Heisman ballot and I don’t really have much of a problem with the final five who made the cut. But am I the only one a little surprised that no wide receivers are getting any love this year? It’s not like Golden Tate and Mardy Gilyard were chopped liver.

Mmmmm. Wideout.

6. A Facebook page for fans of Tim Tebow crying has gained over 64,000 fans in four days.

I’m guessing these guys aren’t fans.

7. Last week, Oklahoma State University president Burns Hargis announced that he was pulling OSU out of an NIH-funded research study of a new anthrax vaccine. The tests would have been conducted on baboons, which would then be euthanized. What does this have to do with football? Just this—Madeleine Pickens, the wife of OSU sugar daddy T. Boone Pickens, is a big animal rights activist who recently pulled a $5 million donation to the OSU veterinary program. While Hargis denies any connection, I think we can connect the dots on this one. So let this be a lesson to your athletic department—while it might be nice having someone write you checks with a whole bunch of zeroes, that kind of money always comes with strings
attached.

In a related story, a University of Oregon graduate student mysteriously went missing last week after submitting a paper on human rights abuses and the use of child labor by multinational clothing conglomerates.

8. If Army upsets Navy on Saturday, the Black Knights will play Temple in the Eagle Bank Bowl. You read that right. Army. Temple. Bowl game.

Camo uniforms = bowl bid. Mark it down.

9. But which is more surprising—that Army and Temple could make a bowl, period? Or that USC and Oklahoma would end up in the Emerald Bowl and Sun Bowl, respectively?

I have friends who went to Oklahoma. Christmas shopping? Done.

10. The NCAA is reportedly investigating Tennessee for recruiting violations involving using hookers, um, I mean Tiger’s exes, um, I mean “student hostesses” to lure potential recruits. Wait, a college using the promise of cheap sex with hot co-eds as an incentive to come to campus? Man, when I enrolled in college, all I got was a map of the campus and a free t-shirt.

Note to self #2: Be reincarnated as a Vols recruit.

For the majority of you, your favorite teams will be playing in a bowl game, so stick around for more the next few weeks. For the rest of you, well, there’s always basketball season.

Follow us on Twitter@HHReynolds or Click Here to get HHR in your inbox.

The Cynic's Guide to College Football, Week 14

Random thoughts from a holiday and football weekend:

• Football games just feel better when you’re wearing long underwear.
• Is there some way to amend the Geneva Convention to allow us to bring human rights violations charges against the NFL and TV network gurus who were cruel enough to subject us to Tennessee at Detroit on Thanksgiving Day?
• At what point did our society become so degraded that we are willing to trample someone to death (literally) to get to Wal-Mart?!?!
• Someone will have to let me know if anything interesting happens in the world of sports radio. This is the time of year when I turn it off as three out of every four callers, who apparently really like to hear themselves talk, just gripe about the BCS and/or lack of a playoff system. It’s about as productive as me calling in to complain about the law of gravity being biased against us fat guys.

Anyway, on with the countdown.

1. Somewhere, Bob Stoops Has Some Incriminating Photos of Bill Gates

Oklahoma fans have now and forever lost the right to bitch about the BCS. Or their computer tech support. This is the third time in six years that the system, for right or wrong, has given the Sooners a controversial shot at the national championship game. Following the 2003 season, OU was given a title game berth despite being blown out by Kansas State in the Big 12 Championship game (the human voters dropped OU to #3, but they stayed #1 in the computers). The next year, OU was given the nod over an undefeated Auburn to play USC in the title game. And now this year, thanks to some, um, creativity by the Big 12 brain trust, the BCS rankings put OU one win away from another title game, getting the nod over Texas, which beat Oklahoma on a neutral field in October.

I’m not saying that any of these breaks wasn’t necessarily warranted. OU is certainly playing some of the best ball in country right now. But after three times of being the beneficiary of BCS computers, OU fans will have to find something new to gripe about from now until eternity or college football has a playoff (my money’s on eternity).

Texas fans, address your complaints to this guy.

2. Genuine Faux Rivalry Games

Most college football rivalries I get. Sure, the in-state rivalries are a natural. But beyond that, inter-state rivalries that result as being the two biggest kids on a respective block (e.g. Ohio State/Michigan, Florida/Georgia, Oklahoma/Texas, etc.) generally have one thing in common—for the most part they are relatively a battle of equals. Sure, one school may go through a bad stretch and lose a few in a row. But, over the long haul, you don’t often see a one-sided interstate rivalry. That’s why I always find the Colorado/Nebraska game so interesting.

Nebraska leads the all-time series 47-18-2. CU has never won more than two in a row against the Huskers and has just 8 wins in the series since 1962, when Bob Devaney was hired at Nebraska. (Devaney and Tom Osborne were a combined 31-4-1 against CU.) It got so bad that one of America’s great novelists, James A. Michener, went so far as to write about it (see below). Nevertheless, in the 1980’s, then-CU coach Bill McCartney declared it a “rivalry” and went so far as to decree that CU athletic department staff wouldn’t be allowed to wear red or drive red cars. (Check out the Husker blog Double Extra Point for a good history of the series.) And while the rivalry talk hasn’t necessarily translated on the field (NU is 19-7-1 since McCartney was hired in 1982), it definitely brings out something in the CU players. Colorado easily played their best and most physical game of the season last Friday, pushing the Huskers to the limit and only falling when Alex Henery’s school record 57-yard field goal cleared the crossbar.

So is CU/NU a real rivalry? Would it be considered a rivalry if the creation of the Big 12’s divisional alignment hadn’t done away with the annual Thanksgiving weekend clash between Nebraska and Oklahoma? Or is this just a case of TV executives needing to shoehorn a “rivalry” game in a Friday afternoon slot? Whatever the answer, the game was definitely worthy of rivalry status.

“Each Year Colorado enthusiasts vowed that this year they would defeat Nebraska, and each year their hopes were dashed.” --James A. Michener, Centennial

3. Les Miles. International Man of Mystery.

Look, I know he has a national championship and a couple of big wins over Bob Stoops to his credit. But can we still say that the jury is still out on Les Miles? Over the last two months, LSU has lost five of eight games. Their only three wins in that stretch have come against South Carolina, Tulane and Troy. Sure, losing guys like Glenn Dorsey and Bo Pelini hurt, but I don’t think anyone expected it to be losing-to-Ole-Miss-on-Senior-Day bad or losing-four-straight-SEC-games bad. Long term, here is what I mean by the jury still being out—Les Miles has virtually never had to play with his own recruits. He was the head coach at Oklahoma State for four years, going 28-21 courtesy of many of the recruits of former OSU coach Bob Simmons. And now he’s been at LSU four years, winning last year’s national title with mostly Nick Saban recruits. Only once in his life has he been in a job more than five years (offensive line coach at Michigan from 1987-94). So it remains to be seen whether he can actually recruit and be successful with his own recruits.

Look, I’m not saying that he can’t or won’t have long-tern success. Or that this season wouldn’t have been different if Ryan Perriloux’s brain hadn’t been the subject of an FDA recall. I’m just saying that, if Les Miles is going to be recognized as an elite coach in the annals of college football history, he’s going to have to prove that he can recruit and coach.

Wonder if Snoop has any eligibili-bizil left?

4. My, How Time Flies

Remember that time when Georgia was the #1 team in the country? When all you heard was about how many starters the Bulldogs returned from a team whose biggest claim to fame a year ago was beating up on Hawaii? Remember? Yeah, me neither. This week, Georgia was up 28-12 at halftime on archrival Georgia Tech. Then they gave up 26 unanswered points in the third quarter and 409 rushing yards en route to a 45-42 loss to the Yellow Jackets. Get this—the Bulldogs defense gave up 45 points in spite of GT completing only one pass. In their last four games, the Bulldogs were destroyed by Florida (49-10), barely managed to eke out wins over Kentucky and Auburn (42-38 and 17-13, respectively) and now lost to Georgia Tech. Calling this season a disappointment for UGA would be a massive understatement, and limping down the homestretch will leave Bulldog fans wishing they were back at the Cocktail Party.

It’s gonna take more than one to forget this season.

5. The (Black) Eye of the Tiger

And speaking of disappointment, let’s examine Missouri’s season.

National title hopes gone? Check.

Heisman hopes for your star QB gone? Check.

Losing in the snow to your archrival? Check.

Being the fifth straight team to give up 60 to Oklahoma? Check back next week.

Mongo only pawn in game of life.

6. Take a Kid to a Game

And for my one positive note, I just wanted to comment on a personal experience I had last weekend. I’ve been fortunate enough to see some really great college football games over the years. I’ve been there when my favorite team and my alma mater (different schools—it’s a long story) each won national championships. I’ve been there to see them beat their biggest rivals. I’ve seen blowouts, I’ve seen nailbiters and I’ve seen losses. I’ve met many of my football heroes and killed more brain cells at tailgate parties than I care to admit. But I learned something this weekend: there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, that can top the feeling of seeing your son or daughter experience your team’s football game day traditions for the first time. Seeing my daughter high-fiving the mascot, getting her picture taken with the cheerleaders and inhaling her first stadium dog—it just doesn’t get any better than that. Oh, and the game was good, too.

Chase Daniel: "Colt McCoy Has Such a Great Ass"

HHR contributor Woody passes along this gem (which he probably saw at EDSBS):

I'm all for admiring the strengths and skills of the opposing team, but Missouri quarterback Chase Daniel took it to a new level when recently talking about Texas QB Colt McCoy.

The Cynic's Guide to College Football, Week 7

Welcome to the Life on Mars edition of the Cynic's Guide. For those of you not familiar with the premise of the show, the basic storyline is that the lead character is a police officer who is hit by a car and then wakes up in the year 1973. And that's what it seems like, with Texas, Alabama, Penn State and Oklahoma at the tops of the polls. But the future continues to be parity (aka mediocrity), and we're going to see more bad football. Case in point . . .

1. There's Nothing Like a Good Win. And This Was Nothing Like a Good Win.

We've all heard about moral victories, but is there such a thing as a completely meaningless victory? You make the call—which is worse:

A: That Georgia Tech, a BCS conference school, could only win by three at home over a FCS (nee I-AA) team.

B: That it wasn't even a good FCS team (a la Appalachian State vs. Michigan last year).

C: That the team they beat sounds less like a football school than a trial law firm that advertises on late-night TV.

D: That the Yellow Jackets had just 199 yards of total offense and three turnovers.

E: That they needed a last-minute tipped field goal to do it.

F: That the win is completely meaningless.

G: All of the above.

On Saturday, Georgia Tech eked out a 10-7 over Gardner-Webb, a Christian university in Boiling Springs, NC with a student population of 4,000 and which, until Saturday, 99% of the population had never heard of and 99.99% didn't know they had a football team. Best of all, this win counts for absolutely nothing. NCAA rules only allow you to count one win versus a FCS (nee I-AA) team, and GT's season-opening win against Jacksonville State fits that bill. So, although Georgia Tech is now 5-1, they are still two wins away from bowl eligibility. And with their upcoming schedule, the Yellow Jackets may struggle to get them.

GT was down to their third string QB who, at 6-4 and 234 pounds isn't exactly the poster child for coach Paul Johnson's triple option offense. I bet Army (who was supposed to be the Yellow Jackets' opponent this week, but bought out of the contract, forcing the Yellow Jackets to find a I-AA replacement) is wishing they'd shown up after all.

2. Speaking of Ugly Wins . . .

You'd think that, in the case of a 28-0 shutout, you could at least call it a good game for one team. But not really in the case of last week's USC/Arizona State game. Sure, the USC defense was dominant, holding the Sun Devils to just 229 total yards. But beyond that, this game was ugly all the way around as the Trojans' offense couldn't stay out of their own way and ASU was just bad period. The two teams combined for nine turnovers and 19 penalties. USC QB Mark Sanchez threw three picks and ASU combined for three more. When starting QB Rudy Carpenter went down with an ankle injury, Sun Devils' backup Danny Sullivan was thrown to the wolves and finished just 4-17 for 28 yards and 2 INTs. I don't know how much style points matter to the BCS computers, but this one certainly won't help USC's cause.

And the award for "Most Disappointing Team Not Named Clemson" goes to . . .

3. All Good Things Must Come to an End.

Michigan lost at home to a 1-4 Toledo. Ouch. I'll leave it to you to debate whether this was a worse loss than last year's loss to Appalachian State (this was Michigan's first ever loss to a MAC team). I think even the most maize-and-blue-blooded fan knew there would be some growing pains this year, but nothing like this. The Wolverines are 2-4 with six games to go. With road games still remaining @ #3 Penn State, @ suddenly tough 6-1 Minnesota and @#12 Ohio State plus a home date with #20 Michigan State, I really don't see four wins that would get them bowl eligible, which would end their nation's longest bowl streak at 33. (The record is Nebraska with 35 straight bowl seasons from 1968-2003.)

On a related note, Toledo now has the chance to win the Michigan state championship—they already hold wins over Michigan and Eastern Michigan and still have games remaining against Central Michigan and Western Michigan.

4. My Name is Earl, Football Style, Version 2.0

Last week we talked a bit about karma, and I think I've finally figured something out: after a preseason top-ten rating and being picked to win the ACC, Clemson's 3-3 record and coach Tommy Bowden's subsequent firing is a direct karmic response to Bowden stripping Ray Ray McElrathbey's scholarship.

You'll have to look in the mirror sooner or later, Tommy.

5. Stay Classy, Tigers.

I found it very interesting that, a week after Chase Daniel accused a rival team of playing dirty, the Missouri defense had two personal fouls and other big hits on star Oklahoma State receiver Dez Bryant. An obvious spearing foul that wasn't called in the first quarter. A helmet-to-helmet call late in the second quarter (which I grant was kind of a bang-bang play and I don't know that there was any malice there). A late hit in which the ball had gone well over Bryant's head and yet the defender laid into him while Bryant was in mid-air. Another play in which Bryant was blindsided after a Zac Robinson pass was intercepted (not illegal, but certainly not necessary). Twice Bryant had to leave the field after staying down for a while, but came back in. To me as an observer, it certainly looked like the defense was gunning for Bryant, but maybe they should have spread the love a bit. Sure, they held Bryant to just 47 yards, but in so doing they let sophomore receiver Damian Davis get loose for 76 yards and 2 all-important touchdowns.

Missouri's next free safety?

6. I'm Jumping on the Bandwagon

In the interest of full disclosure, someone pour me a tall, cold glass of JoePa Kool-Aid. Three weeks ago, I said I'd be a believer if Penn State could get through their games against Illinois, Purdue and Wisconsin undefeated. While those latter two don't look as impressive now as they did a few weeks ago, Penn State certainly kept up their end of the bargain and has done so in impressive fashion, winning those three games by a total of 106-37. While his numbers likely won't put him in the Heisman discussion, Daryll Clark has been running the offense as effectively as any QB in the nation. So unless/until someone in the Big 10 proves otherwise (not likely), Penn State is the real deal. Now they're just rooting for whoever is playing Texas and Alabama.

Penn State's 3rd String Right Guard

Rev Picks 'Em: Week Seven

10 points: Minnesota (5-1) at ILLINOIS (3-2): Illinois hung 45 on Michigan last week in the Big House, and I’m betting the offensive keeps rolling against Minnesota. Illinois is an 11 point favorite heading in – I like them by two touchdowns, so I’m rolling with Ron Zook and Co. this week.

9 points: SOUTH CAROLINA (4-2) at Kentucky (4-1): The Ol’ Ballcoach is making his first appearance on this years pick ‘em list, and it couldn’t come at a worse time for Kentucky. The stakes are high in this game – the loser will most likely find themselves at the bottom of the SEC East standings come Monday. Steve Spurrier has absolutely owned UK dating back to his days with Florida, and South Carolina owns an 8-game winning streak vs. the Wildcats. UK played very well at Alabama last week … but I don’t know how much you can take away from that game, because ‘Bama looked flat after dominating the first quarter. South Carolina has the 2nd ranked defense in college football and they will pose a serious challenge to the Wildcats, who’ve experienced more than their share of offensive troubles thus far in the season.

8 points: #14 VANDERBILT (5-0) at Mississippi State (1-4): Five games into the season, and Vanderbilt is thisclose to being bowl eligible. Gene Frinkle himself would have to be banging the cowbell Saturday night in Starkville for Mississippi State to spring the upset.


7 points: #19 MICHIGAN STATE (5-1) at #22 Northwestern (5-0): Another feel good story for this football season, Northwestern, like their nerd brethren Vandy to the South, is 5-0. Northwestern will look to slow the game down and grind out a win, but I’m not convinced their run defense can completely shut down Spartans running back Javon Ringer, the second leading rusher in the NCAA. Northwestern is getting 3 points in this game, and I think they’re going to need them. Spartans in a close one.

6 points: Notre Dame (4-1) at NORTH CAROLINA (4-1): The Irish have looked great at home so far, but the smackdown they suffered at the hands of Michigan State is still ringing in my brain as this game approaches. I’m coming around to the Irish, but I’m just not convinced they can put together a complete game on the road. Plus, North Carolina is playing some pretty decent football right now. The Tar Heels are a 7 point favorite, and should cover here.

5 points: ARIZONA (4-1) at Stanford (3-3): Doesn’t it seem odd that ‘Zona runs the “Tony Franklin System”, yet Tony Franklin got canned at Auburn because he couldn’t do the same?

4 points: #17 Oklahoma State (5-0) at #2 MIZZOU (5-0): Though the Tigers have been on a roll as of late, the days of the Colorado fifth down dives into the end zone and miraculous Nebraska touchdowns and screw with the confidence of Mizzou fans everywhere. So a pessimist’s viewpoint might scream out, “TRAP GAME!!”, but the facts say it’s highly unlikely that Okie St. can keep up with the Tigers over four quarters. The Cowboys had T. Boone Pickens buy them a nice easy 5-0 start with the likes of Wash St., Houston, SW Missouri St, Troy, and the leftovers of Texas A&M. For the Cowboys, this will be the first big test against a Tigers team that simply looks too tough to stop. The Tigers pull away from the Cowboys late in the first half and never look back.

3 points: #6 PENN STATE (6-0) at #24 Wisconsin (3-2): Two weeks ago, I said Wisconsin had the easy path to the Big Ten title. Then they lost two straight. Let’s make it three in a row.


2 points: #3 LSU (4-0) at #12 FLORIDA (4-1): Since the BCS was created, this is the first time that the last two national champions (Florida ’06, LSU ’07) will meet in a regular season game. Remember last year’s game, how LSU and coach Les Miles repeatedly went for it on 4th down against the Gators? The Tigers escaped that one last year by the very narrowest of margins. This year’s game will be nearly identical, although I expect the roles to be reversed. The Gators were off last week following their shocking loss to Ole Miss, and I just can’t see them losing back-to-back conference games at home.

1 point: #5 TEXAS (5-0) vs. #1 Oklahoma (5-0): Forget about all the points that Texas has scored – the reason I like them here is their defense. Since swiping defensive coordinator Will Muschamp from Auburn at the end of last year, the Longhorns D has made a complete 180°. It’s been said that the only team that can beat Oklahoma is themselves, and I suppose that’s partly correct, but I really think you can’t look past the impact the Texas defense should have in disrupting the Sooner offensive machine. Bevo gets 6.5 points here and I’m calling the game for Texas outright.

SEASON RECORD: 42-20

The Cynic’s Guide to College Football, Week 6

You know it’s a strange year in college football when College Gameday is broadcasting from Vanderbilt. Fortunately, we’ve (finally!) got some good games coming up, with Oklahoma/Texas, LSU/Florida and Oklahoma State/Missouri leading the way. Still, there’s a lot of bad football being played, and here is your weekly commentary on some of it.

1. Bart Simpson for Yell Leader

Is there a team in America who has underachieved more than Texas A&M? I don’t mean just this year, I mean ever. Sure, this year is no bed of roses (2-3 record, a loss to Arkansas State, a near loss to Army and giving up three defensive and special teams TDs last week). But what has TAMU done historically? A&M hasn’t won a national title since 1939. They’ve had just two major award winners (John David Crow, 1957 Heisman, and Dat Nguyen, 1998 Lombardi and Bednarik). They have not won a bowl game since the creation of the Big 12 (their last bowl win was a 22-20 victory over Michigan in the 1995 Alamo Bowl). Since the days of Bear Bryant and Gene Stallings, the Aggies have won just eight conference championships since 1967, including three for Jackie Sherrill (1985-87) and four for R.C. Slocum (1991-93, 1998).

On paper, TAMU should be one of the nation’s dominant programs. Huge alumni and donor base. Massive recruiting hotbed. Respectable facilities. Rabid fan support. But while Aggie fans like to think of Texas and A&M as entries 1 and 1a in the state football hierarchy, nothing could be further from the truth. Even in good years. TAMU has slipped well behind Texas Tech as the second-best team in the state. And this year, I think that most would agree TCU has moved into the #3 spot with A&M battling the likes of Rice, Houston and Baylor for, at best, fourth place. Their only consolation is that North Texas is absolutely terrible and is occupying the cellar.

While we now know that there is no basement in the Alamo, if there was, the North Texas Mean Green would be there.

I’m not saying this to bash TAMU. I actually like the Aggies, in spite of some of their weird cultish, Kool-Aid drinking traditions. I say this because I think the 12th Man deserves better. While I can’t claim to know the recipe for the magic potion that would make A&M a national power, I do know that all the ingredients should be there.

2. Anyone Want Some Cheese?

Is it just me, or was there an inordinate of whining going on after games this week? Chase Daniel’s anonymous phantom spit allegations (put up or shut up, big boy). Rival Pac-10 coaches complaining about Pete Carroll violating NCAA rules about attending high school games (USC bend the rules? I’m shocked! Shocked, I say!) Jim Harbaugh complaining about the officiating in Stanford’s loss to Notre Dame (Although the game was at ND, it was a Pac-10 crew. And Lord knows they never make mistakes.) I guess, just like the Christmas shopping season, whining and excuses come earlier and earlier every year.


3. My Name is Earl, Football Style.

In some cases, however, criticizing the officials might be justified. (Credit for this find goes to The Wiz of Odds.) Fresno State was down 17 points to Hawaii, but was able to come back thanks in no small part to the help of 10 penalties for 82 yards on the Warriors, compared to zero penalties on the Bulldogs. But the clincher came in the first overtime, when Fresno State lined up for a field goal. You be the judge.



Look, we all know that kickers and punters taking a dive is nothing new. But getting a flag for something this bogus in such a key situation shouldn’t happen. Fortunately, the ball wide right.


4. When Television Contracts Go Horribly, Horribly Wrong

I may be getting a little ahead of myself here, but I found this very interesting and disturbing. Apparently, Fox Sports Net is contractually obligated to carry the November 22 Apple Cup game between Washington and Washington State. While there’s a lot of football to be played between now and then, there is a very good chance that game could pit a 1-9 team against an 0-10 team. That’s some gooooood watchin’.


5. Defensive Coordinators Need Not Apply.

If you’re like me and enjoy a good hard-hitting defensive slugfest, then for the love of God, avoid Columbia, Missouri this weekend. Missouri and Oklahoma State rank #2 and #3 respectively in the nation in scoring offense, averaging 106 points per game between them. OSU is second in the nation in rushing offense; Mizzou is third in passing offense. MU’s Chase Daniel is the Heisman frontrunner and OSU’s Zac Robinson, while overshadowed by Daniel and Sam Bradford, has been as good of a QB as there is in the nation. While both teams’ defenses are not as bad as they are sometimes perceived, let’s be honest—their only job this weekend is to act as a speed bump. I have no idea what the Vegas line on this game is, but take the over.

6. What’s in the Water in Oklahoma?

And while we’re on the subject of Oklahoma State, does someone out there smarter than me have the answer to this question: prior to this year, has any state ever had three D-1A teams be undefeated this late in the season? As of right now, #1 Oklahoma, #17 Oklahoma State and inexplicably unrated Tulsa are all sitting at 5-0. While Oklahoma may not be so great at such things as household income, education or health care, the Sooner State has got this football thing down cold.

Rev picks 'Em: Week Six

Despite all the turmoil in the Top Ten, the Rev’ managed a steady 7-3 record picking last week’s games. This week’s slate again features a bunch of good teams on the road...and like the sucker I am, I’m picking seven road winners. Here are the picks:

10 points: #6 PENN STATE (5-0) at Purdue (2-2): Penn State has looked pretty impressive offensively thus far in the season. On the flip side, you could say Purdue has looked just as bad on the defensive side of the ball. After letting Notre Dame march up and down the field, I’m not too impressed with the Boilermakers. There’s a reason Penn State’s laying 12. I say take PSU and give the points.

9 points: #8 TEXAS TECH (4-0) at Kansas State (3-1): Want to take a guess how many total points could be scored in this game? 180 seems possible.


8 points: #14 AUBURN (4-1) at #19 Vanderbilt (4-0): And this game? The over/under is 37 for this game. DEFINITELY take the under. Auburn is positively awful on offense.

On a side note: congratulations to Vandy for becoming a relevant football opponent in the SEC this year.


7 points: #23 CONNECTICUT (5-0) at North Carolina (3-1): Having seen UCONN running back Donald Brown in person last week, you can color me impressed. He reminds me of a Ray Rice clone – runs hard inside, quick around the corner outside. This game will be in the 20’s, but I give the Huskies the edge late in the game because of the wrecking ball they have carrying the load for them in the backfield.

6 points: ILLINOIS (2-2) at Michigan (2-2): Michigan played a great second half to knock off Wisconsin last week, a game I figured they were destined to lose. However, keep in mind that they did spot the Badgers 19 points and did let Wisconsin drive on them at the end of the game with a chance to tie, so I’m not sold that this was a tide-turning win for the Wolverines. That was an emotional win last week, and I’m counting on the old let-down game this week – take Illinois and the points (+2).

5 points: Florida State (3-1) at MIAMI (2-2): This used to be the best game of the year. Now it’s just another midlevel conference matchup between two so-so teams. Hooray for ACC football!

4 points: Arizona State (2-2) at CALIFORNIA (3-1): Remember when visiting UC-Berkeley: dodge the falling bags of poop.



3 points: #12 Ohio State (4-1) at #17 WISCONSIN (3-1): Since making the move to QB Tyrell Pryor, the Buckeyes have actually looked halfway decent. However, all that improvement has come in the friendly confines of the Horseshoe in Columbus. The Bucks take their show on the road to Madison this week, and I expect the Badgers will be out for blood after absolutely blowing an open road to the Big Ten championship last week at Michigan.

2 points: #5 TEXAS (4-0) at Colorado (3-1): Colorado got fat early in the season beating up on Colorado State, Eastern Washington, and a not-so-good West Virginia team. Then they took their show on the road to Florida State last week and got absolutely shellacked. Texas is the real deal and they score points in bunches (they’ve beaten three different opponents by the score of 52-10). I like the Longhorns in the Big XII conference opener for both teams.

1 point: #3 MIZZOU (4-0) at Nebraska (3-1): Nebraska has won 30 straight conference home openers. I’m guessing, however, that the vast majority of those wins did not come against offenses as potent as what Mizzou possesses. The Tigers score nearly at will – they are averaging nearly 54 points a game. The big key for Nebraska if they are to have a change will be to play ball control by running the ball and keep Mizzou’s offense off the field. Mizzou’s going to face a hostile environment in Lincoln to be sure, but they are by far a more talented team than what Nebraska will field.

SEASON RECORD: 36-14