Rumor Mongering: JoePa at Death's Door?

Verbatim email we received from a PSU junky.

Take it for what it is.

Is it news that an 84 year old may die soon and has had "3 mini strokes in the past month...is no longer allowed to drive, and his short term memory is completely shot?"

Not really. But for PSU loyalists, it might come off as sacrilege.

------------

1. Joe is apparently sick. The rumors vary as to what he actually has or has undergone over the last 9 months, but none of it is good. Anyone that has any sort of day-to-day contact with him has been saying this. Instead of looking bad once every 10 public appearances, hes bad every other appearancewe see it in the p.c.s, but other people say its more evident when you see him in person. Some people literally thought he was at deaths door during the season. Its been that bad at times. One rumor is that he has had 3 mini strokes in the past month. He is apparently no longer allowed to drive, and his short term memory is completely shot.
2. Apparently this all came to a head at the senior banquet. Tons of players tweeted crap about how out of it he was..said it was going to be great to play in a Thanksgiving Day Bowl.someone in admin. Reached out to every living captain that played for him and asked them to write a letter to Joe, which was presented to him in a book. It was weird, because no one knew or thought anything was officially decided, but it was clear it was kind of like a send off. Anyway, he gets the book and is fine speaking for a couple of minutes, then tails off into nonsense and nobody can figure out what hes talking about.he finished up by saying I gotta go beat my old friend Spurrier in the bowl game.walks off the stage, and walks out of the room.
   

Within the last week, the family (Sue, Jay and whichever daughter is the power playerI forget whos who) apparently stepped up and said this is it. There are extra planes so that the entire family can make the trip.

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Rusty Vs. Rev: Penn State Vs. Iowa

Each week, HHR's Southern Gents, Rusty and Rev. Shaw Moore, will steal a page from NASCAR.com and go Head2Head and argue the winners of one of the week's upcoming marquee games.

Rev Picks the Nittany Lions.


You think Penn State will be fired up for the Hawkeyes come Saturday? Just one year ago, the Nittany Lions were riding high in the middle of the season after going into Columbus and beating Ohio State. Penn State was undefeated, atop the Big Ten, and squarely in the conversation for the national title hunt. Then, an ill fated trip to Iowa City …

Iowa, 5-4 entering last year’s game, upset previously undefeated Penn State 24-23 on a late field goal, dooming the Lions to a share of the Big Ten title and a beatdown at the hands of USC in the Rose Bowl. Though Penn State lost last year’s game, the numbers indicate they didn’t play too terribly. PSU won the time of possession battle, outgained the Hawkeyes for the game, and tied the turnover battle at two apiece. The only problem: they walked away with only field goals on multiple trips into the red zone. They had the chance to put Iowa away for good, and they didn’t do it.

Fast forward to this year. We don’t know much about either team: The Lions are the #5 team in the country and 3-0, but those wins have come against softies Akron, Syracuse and Temple – all of whom are outside the top 100. Likewise, Iowa comes in with a 3-0 record – but that’s because they barely snuck by Northern Iowa in week one, blocking not one but two No. Iowa field goal attempts at the end of the game.

What we do know is this: super QB Darryl Clark and RB Evan Royster are back for Penn State. There’s arguably not another offensive tandem as important to their team’s success in all of college football. Clark has played well so far this year, with 8 TDs and an 11.6 per completion average. Royster has been consistently good too, averaging 5.2 yards per carry and 3 TDs to his credit.

Iowa will not be able to counter with offensive superstars of Clark and Royster’s caliber. Departed Hawkeye RB Shonn Greene, who ran for over 100 yards in Iowa’s win last year, is in the NFL. QB Ricky Stanzi and freshman RB Adam Robinson will have to pick up the slack. They’ve played very well in the early season, but the always stout Penn State D promises a much sterner test than they’ve faced thus far.

With revenge on their mind, you can bet the Lions and the 100,000+ fans that will pack Beaver Stadium will be ready to go on Saturday. Expect Penn State to roll, 24-13.

Rusty Picks the Hawkeyes.


Revenge, white-out, national title spoiler; these are words the Hawkeyes could care less about, in fact they actually may work in their favor. Iowa is the clear underdog in this week’s game against #5 Penn State, but don’t tell that to the boys in black and gold. Since beating Penn State last year, thereby spoiling the Nittany Lions national title hopes and an undefeated season, Iowa has not lost. They came close to start the season, but the football gods smiled and they prevailed.

So much is being made in State College and nationally about Penn State seeking revenge for last year. The Hawkeyes will let them talk about revenge all they want. Meanwhile, they’ll focus on playing good football, which is what they’ve been doing of late.

If Iowa’s to upset Penn State for the second straight year, they’ll need to rely on their secondary to stop Daryll Clark. Sophomore cornerback Tyler Sash is one of the best in the country. Already this year, he has 4 interceptions, gaining over 100 yards on the ground after the pick. Add that to the fact that the Iowa secondary is the best in the nation, limiting opposing quarterbacks to a measly 48% passing efficiency, and you can see how throwing the ball is not going to be easy for Penn State.

The weather should further add to Iowa’s chances for success. The forecast is calling for cool showers at kickoff. This means running the ball is going to be key. With two backs both averaging over 4 yards a carry and multiple TD’s, the Hawkeyes have found a running game, which was a question mark coming into the season having lost last year’s feature back to the NFL.

So, with a stingy secondary and a strong rushing attack, Iowa’s got the tools to win in raucous Beaver stadium. However, if they cannot contain Clark or have to rely on their own passing game to come-from-behind, it could get ugly for the visiting team.

A quick glance at the statistical categories shows a relatively even match-up. Neither team is a stand-out on either offense or defense. This bodes well for an underdog. Penn State relies more on passing the ball, Iowa on running the ball. My sense is that this will be a hard fought game in the trenches, an old style Big 10 battle with a score that reflects that. Rusty says, 13-10 Hawkeyes.

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JoPa Being JoPa

"Who? Huh? Where am I?"

I'll be damned, but I can't find video of this anywhere.

Penn State's Simon Birch, Joe Paterno, was on hand last night to see Penn State's Men's hoops team advance to the NIT finals.

During an interview, JoPa spouted about the good old days - when basketball was a Jew sport: "Everyone says it's a black mans game. When I played it was a Jewish mans game." Bill Raftery: "Yeah a city game right?"

Give us a shout if anyone finds the vid/audio.

Update. I was able to pilfer some audio off of the ESPN360 broadcast. "They were great." Luckily, our much more tech savy friend at Awful Announcing was able to grab some vid.

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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

Assassin Avenue: My Lunch with Franco

It seemed to be a normal day in my brief tenure as Assistant to the Campaign Manager for a US Senate campaign. At about 9:30, as usual, I fielded a call from the campaign's finance director (who lived in Washington DC).

This call was different, though. After my typical "Yo" he asked:"Are you wearing a suit?"

"Hell no," was my reply. He knew me well enough at that point...

"Do you have one at home?"

"Yeah, I do." I reluctantly replied. I dreaded what came next. Putting on a suit likely meant having to go a function no one else wanted to attend.

"Well, if you want to have lunch with Franco Harris, go home and get it on."

holy. fucking. shit.

I knew that Franco was a big Democrat, but this was a shocker. Franco wanted to know how he could help the campaign. The Finance Director was driving to DC for the lunch. He knew how thrilled I would be to join, so he decided on a whim to invite me along.

Obviously, I went home and suited up.

A few hours later I found myself downtown at Ruth's Chris steakhouse with the Finance Director, Franco and his son "Dok."

It was pretty clear from the beginning Franco didn't want to talk about the Steelers. However, when the Finance Director told him I was a fellow Nittany Lion, Franco's eyes lit up. He gave me the hand jive and we talked Penn State football for quite a while. It was clear that talking Steelers was boring for him, but he loved to talk about the Lions. (Though I must state for the record he certainly didn't come off as anti-Steeler, just a guy that didn't want to have the same conversation over and over again about his work -- and who came blame him for that.)

These memories come to light today as I see it reported that Franco's son is running for Mayor of Pittsburgh.

This makes perfect sense, as during the lunch Franco and his son were much more interested in politics than football, and I had the sense Franco was holding the lunch more for his son than anything else.

We chatted about the campaign, talked about the need to fundraise and other current political issues we faced and wrapped up lunch.

Franco was kind and surprisingly soft spoken. You had to really pay attention to hear what he had to say. Needless to say, I listened close and hung on his every word.

On and off the field, Franco is an example to us all. He is a successful business man who runs a bakery specializing in nutritional donuts and also a, community servant, working to supply natural gas to the less affluent. Franco Harris consistently puts others before himself.

And when the bill came, Franco left no doubt that he was picking up the tab.

In the interest of a clear record, Franco's son didn't make a big impression on me one way or the other. But if he is anywhere near as kind as his father he certainly deserves attention in his bid for Mayor.

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Paterno One Step Closer to Goal of Dying as PSU Coach

Mark Brennan at FightOnState.com reports that according to sources "the veteran Nittany Lion coach is set to sign a new deal that will keep him at the helm for at least three more years."

The 82-year-old, fresh off an 11-1 season, has a new hip and possibly wets himself, yet will forgo a retirement of bridge and shuffleboard in pursuit of his lifelong dream of becoming the "all-time winningest coach in college football history to die at the helm."

The article notes that the deal is expected to be signed and announced by week's end.

Heh.

Come to Penn State

I know this is a bit older, but sorry, it still makes me laugh. Especially since it comes from Simon Birch.





Here's the full monty...

Rev Picks 'Em: Week 11

LOUISVILLE (+6) at Pittsburgh: Were this game played a week earlier, I'm not so sure that the Cards would be getting six points here. But that's what happens when you lose to Syracuse - people, and more importanly, people who bet, tend to lose faith in you. On a side note, at least UofL is coached by the commissioner of the More Taste League.

OHIO STATE (-10 1/2) at Northwestern: Northwestern's had a nice season. But they're not going to come within two touchdowns of the Buckeyes. Let's move on, shall we?

#22 Georgia Tech at #19 NORTH CAROLINA (-4): UNC is coming off a bye week and is looking to knock of GT, which sits just above UNC atop the ACC Coastal division. With aspirations of playing for the ACC championship, I think this game sets up very well for the Tar Heels at home.

Kansas at NEBRASKA (-1): Flip a coin time. Guess I'm a Husker fan this week.

Cincinnati at #20 WEST VIRGINIA (-7): After demolishing UConn last week, West Virginia's starting to run away from the rest of a truly awful pack in the Big East. Which is a good thing for the Big East, because the Mountaineers might be the only team in the conference this year that would be remotely competitive in a BCS bowl game.

Notre Dame at BOSTON COLLEGE (-3 1/2): After losing in four overtimes to Pittsburgh in South Bend, you can bet the Irish would much rather be facing off against upcoming opponents Navy or Syracuse. Instead, they get BC, which like the Irish sports a 5-3 record entering this contest. BC has been a major thorn in the side to ACC opponents thus far, and you can bet this will be a very tough bounce back game for the Irish. The Irish haven't won a game on the road so far, and I don't think they will reverse the trend here.

#21 California (+22) at #7 USC: Pete Carroll is right - how do you beat a team (Washington) 56-0 and drop a spot in the polls? And for the record, why is Cal ranked? They will be smoked by the Trojans. That said, I'm a sucker for the line, so I'll gamble with the points in hand and hope USC doesn't beat the Bears by too much.

#3 PENN STATE (-7 1/2) at Iowa: A trap game if there ever was one. Common sense tells me to take the Lions because they've been so good all year ... but for some reason I feel this game has evil written all over it.
#8 Oklahoma State at #2 TEXAS TECH (-3 1/2): Color me impressed. Texas Tech achieved the impossible last week in knocking off Texas, doing so in last-minute dramatic fashion. Now, of course, they are the new front runners. This game screams "LET DOWN!", but I've got to think they'll get by the Cowboys. If I were a Texas Tech fan, it's the matchup against Oklahoma that I would be worried about.

#1 ALABAMA at #15 LSU (+3 1/2):

Welcome back to Baton Rouge, Coach Saban. Enough said.

Last Week: 5-5

The Cynic's Guide to College Football, Week 9

It's kind of appropriate that tomorrow is Halloween, because we're entering the Dead Zone. You know--that time of year when the World Series is over (for all six people outside the Philly metro area who actually cared) and the unmitigated evil of the NBA is upon us, but see-who-can-find-the-remote-and-hit-the-mute-button-before-Dick-Vitale-can-talk season (also known as college hoops) hasn't gotten here yet.

Scary, ain't it?

It's hard to believe that we're in the homestretch of the college football season. Everyone is nearly two-thirds of the way through the season and things are getting weirder by the week. With that, I give you your weekly dose of the Dark Side of college football. Happy Halloween everyone. And don’t forget to vote!

1. To Burn or Not to Burn

On paper at the start of the season, last Thursday’s West Virginia/Auburn game looked like it could have serious national title implications. After all, the two teams were the preseason #8 and #10 teams in the country. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Last Thursday’s game between these two was really just about saving face. West Virginia was able to do so, rolling off 31 unanswered points, en route to a 34-17 win that bumped their record to 5-2. They’re still very much in the mix for a BCS bid in the weakened Big East. But how bad are things for Auburn? So bad that West Virginia fans were wondering if beating the Tigers was even worth burning a couch over.

Warning: Contents are flammable.

2. Whodathunkit

Which is more improbable: that, nine weeks into the season, an 81-year old Joe Paterno has a legit shot at his first undefeated season since a then-22 year old Kerry Collins led the Nittany Lions to a 12-0 mark in 1994? Or that a now-36 year old Collins is an NFL starting quarterback and is leading the only undefeated team in the country?

The odds were this long!

3. The Joke’s On Kentucky

A week ago I wrote about Kentucky offensive coordinator Joker Phillips and wondered how he got his nickname. Well after seeing some of the Wildcats’ offensive performance in their 63-5 loss at Florida last weekend, now I think I know. To be fair, Kentucky was battling a ton of injuries. But three offensive points?

The Joker enjoying his trip to Florida. The same can't be said for the rest of the Wildcat faithful.

4. Can Drug Use Be Justified?

Fifteen North Texas football players reportedly tested positive for some kind of drug use. But let’s be honest—if you played for UNT, you were 0-8, had given up less than 40 points only once this season and had been outscored 400-135, you’d probably need something to take the edge off as well.

UNT's backup long snapper.

5. OK, who had October 27 in the Pool?

Look, we all knew the end was coming for Tyrone Willingham. But getting fired after losing to the team you were at previously? Talk about adding insult to injury.

6. You Can’t Buy Votes . . . But I’ve Got Two on the Fifty.

With the election just around the corner, I had to throw in one story with a political bent—earlier this week, former Ohio state representative John Widowfield pled guilty to two counts of using campaign money to buy Ohio State football tickets—and then scalp them. He had reportedly made nearly $14,000 in profits between 2003 and 2006, but resigned from the Legislature in May when their Ethics Committee began investigating.

Free market entrepreneur? Evil bloodsucking parasite? Or your next governor?

7. Iowa State is the New Baylor

The reports of the Big 12 North’s resurgence have been greatly exaggerated. After last year’s great runs by Kansas and Missouri, lots of people were saying that the Big 12 North had finally turned a corner and would be on an equal footing with the South. Missouri had national title and Heisman hopes. Kansas had no reason to believe they couldn’t be back in the BCS. This was supposed to be the year that Dan and Cody Hawkins moved Colorado up to the next level. And Bo Pelini was going to get Nebraska turned around. Well, those dreams may have to wait a while. Missouri’s title hopes are down the drain, followed closely by the Chase Daniel for Heisman campaign. KU already has three times as many losses as it did all of last season. If anything, the Buffaloes have actually taken a step backwards. Nebraska, while showing signs of life, is also showing that rebuilding projects don’t happen overnight. The “Fire Ron Prince” bandwagon is picking up steam at Kansas State. And Iowa State fans, modest as their expectations are, have still been disappointed by the Gene Chizik era. To date, the North is just 2-10 against the South this season (Nebraska over Baylor and Kansas State over Texas A&M).

That said, I wouldn’t encourage Oklahoma and Texas fans to get too comfortable. A decade ago, Nebraska, Kansas State and Colorado ruled the Big 12 and fans of those teams thought that’s the way it would always be. But then strange things happened. People like Tom Osborne and Bill Snyder retired. People like Bob Stoops, Mack Brown, Gary Barnett and Steve Pederson were hired. And just like that, the pendulum swung south. But believe me, it can—and sooner or later will—swing back north just as quickly.

The Big 12 (and Thanksgiving--not Halloweeen--weekend) the way God intended it.

However, in 2008 . . .

8. Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter the Big 12 South

While I’m not sure if this says more about these teams or the overall mediocre state of college football right now, has there ever been any division more dominant than the Big 12 South right now? You could make a pretty solid argument that the four teams playing the best football in the country right now all reside in the same division. After successive victories over OU, Missouri and Oklahoma State, there’s no doubt that Texas is legit. Oklahoma State certainly acquitted itself well enough on Saturday to show it belongs in the mix. Oklahoma hung 55 points in the first half this weekend (although only three in the second, and their defense is an issue). And Texas Tech, the team with the most question marks coming in, hung 63 on the road against a good Kansas team. No disrespect intended to Penn State or Alabama but, if my job depended on winning just one game, I’m not so sure I wouldn’t choose to play one of them instead of taking on anyone from the Big 12’s Murderer’s Row.

Rev Picks 'Em: Week Nine

In these tough economic times, it’s encouraging to know that if you invested in HHR’s pick ‘em recommendations last week, you would not have lost any money. Can the S&P 500 say that? Of course not! So stick with us, and we’ll get you through the rough waters in the weeks ahead.

We know that for you betting fanatics, a 5-5 record is not real encouraging. We’ll consider last week a lesson learned – but we’re back now with a vengeance ready to improve on that .500 mark. Here we go:

#23 BOSTON COLLEGE (+ 3 1/2) at North Carolina (5-2): At 5-1, Boston College seems to be enjoying life just fine in the post-Matt Ryan era. After spotting Virginia Tech 10 early points last week, BC came back to beat the Hokies 28-23. Meanwhile, North Carolina inexplicably lost in overtime last week at Virginia, a game I was sure they were going to win. I’m still mad about the UNC game, so my vengeance pick this week is Boston College on the road and getting the points.

CINCINNATI (-1 ½) at Connecticut: Acutally, I have two vengeance picks this week: UConn let me down last week with a pitiful performance at Rutgers. In fact, every time I’ve picked UConn this year I’ve been let down. So I’m going the other way now - I’m convinced that the Huskies have peaked and will finish no better than fourth in the Big East. Meanwhile, there’s at least one football team in Cincinnati that is playing halfway decent this year, and I’m definitely not talking about the Bengals. In the latest AP rankings, the Bearcats stood just outside the top 25. The Bearcats only loss this season came at Oklahoma, which isn’t too shabby. Take Cincy and give the points.

NOTRE DAME (-11 ½) at Washington: What’s to like about the 0-6 Huskies? That’s a rhetorical question – don’t answer. Plus, how sadly ironic is it that Notre Dame will be hammering one of the final nails in Ty Willingham’s coffin this weekend?

#8 TEXAS TECH (+ 1 ½) at #19 Kansas: Texas Tech is undefeated and averaging close to 46 points a game. This will be the first time the Red Raiders will have faced a top 25 opponent this year, but offensively this matchup may work in their favor. You see, the Kansas D got exposed quite a bit by Oklahoma’s passing attack last week; bad thing for the Jayhawks, then, because Texas Tech slings the ball on just about every play from scrimmage (343 pass attempts vs. 174 rushing attempts, nearly a 2:1 ratio). Guns Up! I like TTU and the points.

MICHIGAN STATE (-4 ½) at Michigan: I’m calling for a mercy killing for Michigan’s 2008 football season. Somebody end this now.

#7 Oklahoma State at #1 TEXAS (-12 ½): Has anyone played a more brutal stretch of games over the past couple of weeks than Texas? Having defeated previously unbeaten Oklahoma and Missouri in back-to-back weeks, does Oklahoma State really stand a chance? 12 ½ is a ton of points to give to the Cowboys, but considering how well the Texas D is playing, the line sounds reasonable.

VIRGINIA TECH (+5 ½) at #24 Florida State: Quietly, Florida State has enjoyed a bit of a resurgence this year – the ‘Noles are 5-1 and are tied with Boston College atop the ACC’s Atlantic Division. Virginia Tech won this game last year in Blacksburg, coach Bobby Bowden’s first loss to the Hokies, so you can bet that FSU will be out for some revenge. However, VA Tech is a decent defensive team, and I just don’t think FSU is offensively powerful enough to put the Hokies away. I’m looking for a close defensive struggle – FSU should win, but I don’t think they’ll cover.

#9 Georgia at #11 LSU (-1 ½): Georgia and LSU are two pretty evenly matched teams – both are probably about 2nd best in their respective SEC divisions. Death Valley is an awfully tough place to play on a Saturday night (what, with 90,000 well-lubricated Tiger fans screaming for blood), and outside of Knowshown Moreno, I don’t think Georgia’s really got the offensive firepower to challenge LSU’s D. If they were getting a few more points, I might be tempted to take the Dawgs, but since they’re only getting 1 ½, I’m taking LSU at home.

#2 Alabama at TENNESSEE (+ 6 ½): Tennessee coach Phil Fulmer made a career out of beating rival Alabama, and he might need to do it again Saturday in Knoxville in order to keep the critics calling for his head at bay. Their coach notwithstanding, the Vols have the size and girth to avoid being pushed around by ‘Bama’s offensive and defensive lines, giving me reason to believe Tennessee will keep this close. I still like ‘Bama to win the game outright, but I think Tennessee covers here.

“Is this over yet?”

#3 PENN STATE (-2 ½) at #10 Ohio State: Ohio State enters this game fresh off a 38 point thrashing of Michigan State, proving yet again that Ohio State is remarkably good at shutting down one dimensional offenses. What to do, then, for the Buckeyes when Penn State goes 3 or 4 wide? The Lions have the speed necessary to seriously challenge – and damage – the Ohio State D. I’m sold on Penn State, and I think they dethrone the reigning Big Ten champs in this one.

Last week’s record: 5-5

Rev Picks 'Em: Week Eight

For all you sports betting fiends out there, Rev switches up the pick ems this week, now offering picks based on weekly college football odds.

CONNECTICUT (-1 ½) at Rutgers: The Scarlet Knights have to be considered the poster children for the ineptitude of the Big East conference this year in college football. Since knocking off then #3 Louisville in 2006, Rutgers has stumbled badly to an 11-12 overall record. With no Ray Rice to lean on, senior QB Mike Teel has played poorly, completing only 55% of his passes and has a paltry 3-7 TD to INT ratio. Connecticut was exposed in their 38-12 loss at North Carolina, but after a bye last week they should bounce back strong against one of the weakest teams (outside of Syracuse) in the Big East.

Michigan at # 3 PENN STATE (-23 ½): This pains me to write, but I have very little faith in this Michigan squad – so little hope, that I’m not even tempted by the 23 ½ points they’ll be getting at Happy Valley. Penn State has speed everywhere on offense and are scoring way too often (317 points on the season thus far) for Michigan’s beleaguered defense to handle. In losses to Notre Dame and Illinois, Michigan gave up 35 and 45 points, respectively. After Penn State’s rout of Wisconsin last week (48-7), I don’t think Penn State will have too much trouble scoring.

Western Michigan Broncos at CENTRAL MICHIGAN (+1 ½): With both teams entering this contest undefeated in conference play, the outcome of this game will go a long way toward determining the MAC champion this year. QB Tim Hiller leads Western Michigan with over 2,000 yards passing and 23 TDs this far into the season. Central Michigan on the other hand, doesn’t score a ton of points or put up gaudy numbers, but they do just enough to hang around and win games late. In the four games since their 56-17 blowout loss at then #2 Georgia, the Chippewas have gone 3-1 with an average margin of victory of 5.0 points. Considering their games are usually close, I’m going to take the underdog at home and run with the points.

#18 NORTH CAROLINA (-4 ½) at Virginia: I love UNC here. In just year two under Butch Davis, the Tarheels will challenge for top-dog status in the ACC as the season goes on. They face a Virginia team that has won two straight after early season struggles, but I just don’t think the Cavaliers stand much of a chance. Virginia’s averaging just 17.0 points a game vs. UNC’s 31.8. Did I mention I love UNC?
#11 Ohio State at #17 MICHIGAN STATE (+3 ½) So far, no team has been able to hold down the Spartans’ super running back Javon Ringer – but then again, the Spartans haven’t played a team that is as good against the run as Ohio State. With the loss of DE Lawrence Wilson, the Buckeyes may be tempted to bring 8 men into the box to stop Ringer, and that may open things up just enough for MSU QB Brian Hoyer to hit some quick, intermediate routes downfield. Of course, Michigan State will likely be forced to do the same to stop OSU RB Beanie Wells, so much of the Buckeyes’ success will depend on how freshman QB handles his first true test against a top-flight opponent on the road. This one should be close, so I’m taking the Spartans and the points at home.

MIAMI (-4 ½) at Duke: Duke is one of the feel-good stories of the season in year one of coach David Cutcliffe’s stewardship. Cutcliffe is a fantastic offensive schemer and play caller – for proof, look at what his absence has meant to the Tennessee Volunteers this year. However, I expect Miami’s raw athletic ability will far outclass that of Duke; plus, the ‘Canes are 0-2 thus far in ACC conference play, so they should be out hungry for a win in this one.

ARKANSAS (+7 ½) at Kentucky: Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino returns to Lexington sporting a spotless record against the ‘Cats, having gone 4-0 vs. UK during his days at the helm of Louisville. Kentucky has an outstanding defense, but their offense is almost non-existent – they had 4 take-aways last week and still lost to South Carolina, 24-17. Compounding problems for UK is the loss of senior WR Dicky Lyons to a season-ending knee injury - without their top WR target available, the Cats seemingly will be very one dimensional from here on out. If Arkansas stops the run this weekend, they have a very real chance to win this game outright. That, and you know Petrino will have something devious cooked up for his former in-state rival.

#13 LSU at SOUTH CAROLINA (+2 ½): LSU was flat embarrassed last week against Florida, losing by 30 in the Swamp. Taking cues from that game, South Carolina’s superb defense will look to put a ton of pressure on LSU’s inexperienced QB tandem of Jarrett Lee and Andrew Hatch and force them into multiple turnovers. Plus, now that the ol’ Ball Coach has (for the time being) settled around the talented Stephen Garcia as his starting QB, the reins may be loosened a bit on the Gamecocks’ here-to-now bottled-up offense. I think they have a real shot at springing the upset outright in this one.

#25 CALIFORNIA (-2 ½) at Arizona: Outside of a no-show performance in their loss at Maryland, Cal is quietly enjoying a solid start to their season out West. The only remaining unbeaten in the PAC-10, Cal is ringing up 39.4 points per game. The numbers, meanwhile, say Arizona tops that with an average of 40.1 points a game – but if you throw out their 70-0 blowout of Idaho to open the season, Arizona’s scoring per game average drops to 34.2. Cal looks to be a little more balanced offensively than the pass happy Wildcats, and the Bears running game should grind them out a win this weekend in the desert.

#11 Mizzou at #1 TEXAS (-5 ½): Mizzou is coming off a crushing and unexpected loss at the hands of Oklahoma State last week. With this weekend’s matchup with #1 Texas next on the slate, it’s fair to say that it’s panic time in Columbia right now. Two losses in conference doesn’t necessarily kill their season, but it just may end any talk that the Tigers could play for the national championship. The number #1 ranking hasn’t been kind to those who’ve worn it this year, and Texas will have a big target on their backs this week against a desperate Mizzou squad. That aside … did you watch the Texas-Oklahoma game? Texas is pretty good – better than Mizzou, in my opinion. I’m taking the ‘Horns and giving 5 ½ here.

The Cynic's Guide to College Football, Week 7

Welcome to the Life on Mars edition of the Cynic's Guide. For those of you not familiar with the premise of the show, the basic storyline is that the lead character is a police officer who is hit by a car and then wakes up in the year 1973. And that's what it seems like, with Texas, Alabama, Penn State and Oklahoma at the tops of the polls. But the future continues to be parity (aka mediocrity), and we're going to see more bad football. Case in point . . .

1. There's Nothing Like a Good Win. And This Was Nothing Like a Good Win.

We've all heard about moral victories, but is there such a thing as a completely meaningless victory? You make the call—which is worse:

A: That Georgia Tech, a BCS conference school, could only win by three at home over a FCS (nee I-AA) team.

B: That it wasn't even a good FCS team (a la Appalachian State vs. Michigan last year).

C: That the team they beat sounds less like a football school than a trial law firm that advertises on late-night TV.

D: That the Yellow Jackets had just 199 yards of total offense and three turnovers.

E: That they needed a last-minute tipped field goal to do it.

F: That the win is completely meaningless.

G: All of the above.

On Saturday, Georgia Tech eked out a 10-7 over Gardner-Webb, a Christian university in Boiling Springs, NC with a student population of 4,000 and which, until Saturday, 99% of the population had never heard of and 99.99% didn't know they had a football team. Best of all, this win counts for absolutely nothing. NCAA rules only allow you to count one win versus a FCS (nee I-AA) team, and GT's season-opening win against Jacksonville State fits that bill. So, although Georgia Tech is now 5-1, they are still two wins away from bowl eligibility. And with their upcoming schedule, the Yellow Jackets may struggle to get them.

GT was down to their third string QB who, at 6-4 and 234 pounds isn't exactly the poster child for coach Paul Johnson's triple option offense. I bet Army (who was supposed to be the Yellow Jackets' opponent this week, but bought out of the contract, forcing the Yellow Jackets to find a I-AA replacement) is wishing they'd shown up after all.

2. Speaking of Ugly Wins . . .

You'd think that, in the case of a 28-0 shutout, you could at least call it a good game for one team. But not really in the case of last week's USC/Arizona State game. Sure, the USC defense was dominant, holding the Sun Devils to just 229 total yards. But beyond that, this game was ugly all the way around as the Trojans' offense couldn't stay out of their own way and ASU was just bad period. The two teams combined for nine turnovers and 19 penalties. USC QB Mark Sanchez threw three picks and ASU combined for three more. When starting QB Rudy Carpenter went down with an ankle injury, Sun Devils' backup Danny Sullivan was thrown to the wolves and finished just 4-17 for 28 yards and 2 INTs. I don't know how much style points matter to the BCS computers, but this one certainly won't help USC's cause.

And the award for "Most Disappointing Team Not Named Clemson" goes to . . .

3. All Good Things Must Come to an End.

Michigan lost at home to a 1-4 Toledo. Ouch. I'll leave it to you to debate whether this was a worse loss than last year's loss to Appalachian State (this was Michigan's first ever loss to a MAC team). I think even the most maize-and-blue-blooded fan knew there would be some growing pains this year, but nothing like this. The Wolverines are 2-4 with six games to go. With road games still remaining @ #3 Penn State, @ suddenly tough 6-1 Minnesota and @#12 Ohio State plus a home date with #20 Michigan State, I really don't see four wins that would get them bowl eligible, which would end their nation's longest bowl streak at 33. (The record is Nebraska with 35 straight bowl seasons from 1968-2003.)

On a related note, Toledo now has the chance to win the Michigan state championship—they already hold wins over Michigan and Eastern Michigan and still have games remaining against Central Michigan and Western Michigan.

4. My Name is Earl, Football Style, Version 2.0

Last week we talked a bit about karma, and I think I've finally figured something out: after a preseason top-ten rating and being picked to win the ACC, Clemson's 3-3 record and coach Tommy Bowden's subsequent firing is a direct karmic response to Bowden stripping Ray Ray McElrathbey's scholarship.

You'll have to look in the mirror sooner or later, Tommy.

5. Stay Classy, Tigers.

I found it very interesting that, a week after Chase Daniel accused a rival team of playing dirty, the Missouri defense had two personal fouls and other big hits on star Oklahoma State receiver Dez Bryant. An obvious spearing foul that wasn't called in the first quarter. A helmet-to-helmet call late in the second quarter (which I grant was kind of a bang-bang play and I don't know that there was any malice there). A late hit in which the ball had gone well over Bryant's head and yet the defender laid into him while Bryant was in mid-air. Another play in which Bryant was blindsided after a Zac Robinson pass was intercepted (not illegal, but certainly not necessary). Twice Bryant had to leave the field after staying down for a while, but came back in. To me as an observer, it certainly looked like the defense was gunning for Bryant, but maybe they should have spread the love a bit. Sure, they held Bryant to just 47 yards, but in so doing they let sophomore receiver Damian Davis get loose for 76 yards and 2 all-important touchdowns.

Missouri's next free safety?

6. I'm Jumping on the Bandwagon

In the interest of full disclosure, someone pour me a tall, cold glass of JoePa Kool-Aid. Three weeks ago, I said I'd be a believer if Penn State could get through their games against Illinois, Purdue and Wisconsin undefeated. While those latter two don't look as impressive now as they did a few weeks ago, Penn State certainly kept up their end of the bargain and has done so in impressive fashion, winning those three games by a total of 106-37. While his numbers likely won't put him in the Heisman discussion, Daryll Clark has been running the offense as effectively as any QB in the nation. So unless/until someone in the Big 10 proves otherwise (not likely), Penn State is the real deal. Now they're just rooting for whoever is playing Texas and Alabama.

Penn State's 3rd String Right Guard

Rev Picks 'Em: Week Seven

10 points: Minnesota (5-1) at ILLINOIS (3-2): Illinois hung 45 on Michigan last week in the Big House, and I’m betting the offensive keeps rolling against Minnesota. Illinois is an 11 point favorite heading in – I like them by two touchdowns, so I’m rolling with Ron Zook and Co. this week.

9 points: SOUTH CAROLINA (4-2) at Kentucky (4-1): The Ol’ Ballcoach is making his first appearance on this years pick ‘em list, and it couldn’t come at a worse time for Kentucky. The stakes are high in this game – the loser will most likely find themselves at the bottom of the SEC East standings come Monday. Steve Spurrier has absolutely owned UK dating back to his days with Florida, and South Carolina owns an 8-game winning streak vs. the Wildcats. UK played very well at Alabama last week … but I don’t know how much you can take away from that game, because ‘Bama looked flat after dominating the first quarter. South Carolina has the 2nd ranked defense in college football and they will pose a serious challenge to the Wildcats, who’ve experienced more than their share of offensive troubles thus far in the season.

8 points: #14 VANDERBILT (5-0) at Mississippi State (1-4): Five games into the season, and Vanderbilt is thisclose to being bowl eligible. Gene Frinkle himself would have to be banging the cowbell Saturday night in Starkville for Mississippi State to spring the upset.


7 points: #19 MICHIGAN STATE (5-1) at #22 Northwestern (5-0): Another feel good story for this football season, Northwestern, like their nerd brethren Vandy to the South, is 5-0. Northwestern will look to slow the game down and grind out a win, but I’m not convinced their run defense can completely shut down Spartans running back Javon Ringer, the second leading rusher in the NCAA. Northwestern is getting 3 points in this game, and I think they’re going to need them. Spartans in a close one.

6 points: Notre Dame (4-1) at NORTH CAROLINA (4-1): The Irish have looked great at home so far, but the smackdown they suffered at the hands of Michigan State is still ringing in my brain as this game approaches. I’m coming around to the Irish, but I’m just not convinced they can put together a complete game on the road. Plus, North Carolina is playing some pretty decent football right now. The Tar Heels are a 7 point favorite, and should cover here.

5 points: ARIZONA (4-1) at Stanford (3-3): Doesn’t it seem odd that ‘Zona runs the “Tony Franklin System”, yet Tony Franklin got canned at Auburn because he couldn’t do the same?

4 points: #17 Oklahoma State (5-0) at #2 MIZZOU (5-0): Though the Tigers have been on a roll as of late, the days of the Colorado fifth down dives into the end zone and miraculous Nebraska touchdowns and screw with the confidence of Mizzou fans everywhere. So a pessimist’s viewpoint might scream out, “TRAP GAME!!”, but the facts say it’s highly unlikely that Okie St. can keep up with the Tigers over four quarters. The Cowboys had T. Boone Pickens buy them a nice easy 5-0 start with the likes of Wash St., Houston, SW Missouri St, Troy, and the leftovers of Texas A&M. For the Cowboys, this will be the first big test against a Tigers team that simply looks too tough to stop. The Tigers pull away from the Cowboys late in the first half and never look back.

3 points: #6 PENN STATE (6-0) at #24 Wisconsin (3-2): Two weeks ago, I said Wisconsin had the easy path to the Big Ten title. Then they lost two straight. Let’s make it three in a row.


2 points: #3 LSU (4-0) at #12 FLORIDA (4-1): Since the BCS was created, this is the first time that the last two national champions (Florida ’06, LSU ’07) will meet in a regular season game. Remember last year’s game, how LSU and coach Les Miles repeatedly went for it on 4th down against the Gators? The Tigers escaped that one last year by the very narrowest of margins. This year’s game will be nearly identical, although I expect the roles to be reversed. The Gators were off last week following their shocking loss to Ole Miss, and I just can’t see them losing back-to-back conference games at home.

1 point: #5 TEXAS (5-0) vs. #1 Oklahoma (5-0): Forget about all the points that Texas has scored – the reason I like them here is their defense. Since swiping defensive coordinator Will Muschamp from Auburn at the end of last year, the Longhorns D has made a complete 180°. It’s been said that the only team that can beat Oklahoma is themselves, and I suppose that’s partly correct, but I really think you can’t look past the impact the Texas defense should have in disrupting the Sooner offensive machine. Bevo gets 6.5 points here and I’m calling the game for Texas outright.

SEASON RECORD: 42-20

Rev picks 'Em: Week Six

Despite all the turmoil in the Top Ten, the Rev’ managed a steady 7-3 record picking last week’s games. This week’s slate again features a bunch of good teams on the road...and like the sucker I am, I’m picking seven road winners. Here are the picks:

10 points: #6 PENN STATE (5-0) at Purdue (2-2): Penn State has looked pretty impressive offensively thus far in the season. On the flip side, you could say Purdue has looked just as bad on the defensive side of the ball. After letting Notre Dame march up and down the field, I’m not too impressed with the Boilermakers. There’s a reason Penn State’s laying 12. I say take PSU and give the points.

9 points: #8 TEXAS TECH (4-0) at Kansas State (3-1): Want to take a guess how many total points could be scored in this game? 180 seems possible.


8 points: #14 AUBURN (4-1) at #19 Vanderbilt (4-0): And this game? The over/under is 37 for this game. DEFINITELY take the under. Auburn is positively awful on offense.

On a side note: congratulations to Vandy for becoming a relevant football opponent in the SEC this year.


7 points: #23 CONNECTICUT (5-0) at North Carolina (3-1): Having seen UCONN running back Donald Brown in person last week, you can color me impressed. He reminds me of a Ray Rice clone – runs hard inside, quick around the corner outside. This game will be in the 20’s, but I give the Huskies the edge late in the game because of the wrecking ball they have carrying the load for them in the backfield.

6 points: ILLINOIS (2-2) at Michigan (2-2): Michigan played a great second half to knock off Wisconsin last week, a game I figured they were destined to lose. However, keep in mind that they did spot the Badgers 19 points and did let Wisconsin drive on them at the end of the game with a chance to tie, so I’m not sold that this was a tide-turning win for the Wolverines. That was an emotional win last week, and I’m counting on the old let-down game this week – take Illinois and the points (+2).

5 points: Florida State (3-1) at MIAMI (2-2): This used to be the best game of the year. Now it’s just another midlevel conference matchup between two so-so teams. Hooray for ACC football!

4 points: Arizona State (2-2) at CALIFORNIA (3-1): Remember when visiting UC-Berkeley: dodge the falling bags of poop.



3 points: #12 Ohio State (4-1) at #17 WISCONSIN (3-1): Since making the move to QB Tyrell Pryor, the Buckeyes have actually looked halfway decent. However, all that improvement has come in the friendly confines of the Horseshoe in Columbus. The Bucks take their show on the road to Madison this week, and I expect the Badgers will be out for blood after absolutely blowing an open road to the Big Ten championship last week at Michigan.

2 points: #5 TEXAS (4-0) at Colorado (3-1): Colorado got fat early in the season beating up on Colorado State, Eastern Washington, and a not-so-good West Virginia team. Then they took their show on the road to Florida State last week and got absolutely shellacked. Texas is the real deal and they score points in bunches (they’ve beaten three different opponents by the score of 52-10). I like the Longhorns in the Big XII conference opener for both teams.

1 point: #3 MIZZOU (4-0) at Nebraska (3-1): Nebraska has won 30 straight conference home openers. I’m guessing, however, that the vast majority of those wins did not come against offenses as potent as what Mizzou possesses. The Tigers score nearly at will – they are averaging nearly 54 points a game. The big key for Nebraska if they are to have a change will be to play ball control by running the ball and keep Mizzou’s offense off the field. Mizzou’s going to face a hostile environment in Lincoln to be sure, but they are by far a more talented team than what Nebraska will field.

SEASON RECORD: 36-14

The Cynic’s Guide to College Football, Week 4

All across the country, the weather is turning a bit cooler, leaves are starting to change colors and, with conference games coming soon to a stadium near you, we finally have the prospect of the end of these ridiculous cupcake nonconference games. And yet with the season less than a third of the way through, we already know a few things. Some bad things. Just as every silver lining has a dark cloud, here’s the lowdown on the lowlights of this week in college football.

1. Country Roads to Nowhere?

Is it too early to start pressing the panic button on the Bill Stewart (six-year) era at West Virginia? Probably. But that won’t stop me from doing it anyway. It’s not just that the Mountaineers are 1-2 this season. It’s that they’ve looked so decidedly sub-par. In all fairness, WVU did show signs of life in the “John Denver Bowl” vs. Colorado last Thursday. After giving up two quick TDs, the defense shut out Colorado for thenext 55 minutes. Pat White and Noel Devine both went over the century mark in rushing. And White’s 39 yard TD run in the fourth quarter was a thing of beauty. But WVU had no passing game whatsoever (10-15 for just 43 yards; White actually had minus-five passing yards at halftime.) They were just 3-of 13 on third down conversions and had 91 yards in penalties. Even the rushing numbers are a bit misleading as anyone who watched the game saw that the Mountaineers offense was lethargic, unimaginative and, worst, predictable.

Look at the numbers:

	2007 (Rank)	2008 (Rank)
Total Offense	456 ypg (#15)	303 ypg (#95)
Rushing Offense	297 ypg (#3)	164 ypg (#50)
Scoring Offense	39.6 ppg (#9)	25.5 ppg (#71)

Short version, the Mountaineers are averaging 153 yards and two touchdowns fewer per game than last year. Look, we all knew that the Mountaineers would likely be down a bit this year after losing Rich Rodriguez and Steve Slaton. But with uber-QB Pat White and a talented defense returning, I don’t think anyone thought it would be like this. Yes, the season’s still young and they still have a lot to play for (such as a possible Big East title). But the knee-jerk reaction to hire Stewart following the Mountaineers’ upset of Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl isn’t looking good.

2. The PAC 10 is Godawful.

Much was made last week about the SEC being the first conference in history to land five teams in the top ten at the same time. Well, with USC out of action this week (does anyone else find it odd that the Trojans scheduled two bye weeks in the first month of the season?), it gave me a chance to check out how the other half lives. Big mistake. I really had high hopes for the Pac-10 this year, thinking that maybe, just maybe, Arizona State, Oregon or Cal could finally get to that "next level" and challenge for the conference title. Way wrong.

Six of the teams in the Pac-10 teams have lost to a non-BCS team. Not counting USC, the rest of the conference is just 10-12 in out of conference games. And that includes two wins over 1-AA teams and a 4-1 record against the WAC. They are 3-6 against the other BCS conferences (including 0-3 versus the Big 12) and an amazing 0-5 against the Mountain West. Frankly, most of the Pac-10 has to be grateful that conference games are starting up just so they might have a chance at winning a game or two.

3. Kansas State: Worst Week Ever.

Things started off bad for Kansas State when they had to travel to Louisville for a rare Wednesday night game. They proceeded to get throttled by a CUSA team (38-29 final, but it wasn’t that close) who, two weeks earlier against Kentucky, looked like they'd never seen a football. Sadly, that was the high point of the week. On Friday, KSU RB Leon Patton was released from the team after a run in with the law. But this was not your usual run-of-the-mill college football arrest. No DUIs, mary jane possessions or weapons charges here. No, Patton was arrested and charged with felony child abuse of a two-month old baby.

To KSU's credit, Patton had already been suspended while the investigation was ongoing and was kicked off the team once he was arrested on Thursday. But, man, talk about a rough week. Even with a new contract, the seat under Ron Prince is already starting to get a little warm. This week certainly didn't help matters any.

On a related note, I've always felt there was a particularly warm spot reserved in hell for people who hurt kids. In Patton's case, let's hope I'm right.

“Leon, meet Adolf. I’m sure you’ll have lots to talk about.”

4. Awww, Florida State Fall Down, Go Boom

Believe me, I wish I was making this quote up. But after FloridaState’s embarrassing 12-3 loss at home to Wake Forest this week, Seminoles offensive coordinator (and head coach in waiting) Jimbo Fisher offered this insightful analysis: “We made some boo-boos.” No, Coach Fisher. Boo-boos are something that happen to my two-year old daughter, not to a once-proud college football power. 12 penalties for 139 yards are not boo-boos. Seven turnovers are not boo-boos. Three points are not boo-boos. I’m not trying to bag on Wake Forest—I think they’re a good team and I really like Jim Grobe. And maybe I’m just bitter since I picked FSU to have a rebound nine-win season this year. But shouldn’t a program with the history and tradition of Florida State be held to a higher standard than this? I mean, this is just embarrassing for all of us. Even ‘Noles despisers have to admit that the haterade just isn’t as sweet right now. Like Jack Nicholson’s character in A Few Good Men, even if it’s to serve as the object of envy and hate, we want FSU on that wall. We need FSU on that wall! FSU administrators, you know what needs to be done. You can either rip the Band Aid off now and start the healing process. Or you can continue to let the “boo-boo” fester. Your choice.

Florida State’s next coach?

5. And Speaking of Octogenarian Coaches . . .

I have no idea if Penn State is any good. Yes, they’re putting up monster statistics. Sixth in total offense. Third in scoring offense. Seventh in rushing and total defense. Ninth in scoring defense. But for all that, does anyone really have any idea how good Penn State is? Their four opponents thus far (Coastal Carolina, Oregon State, Syracuse and Temple) aren’t exactly murderer’s row (a combined 5-10). To date, Penn State hasn’t been tested, let alone challenged. And frankly, I just don’t think I believe the hype. Admittedly, they’ve gotten solid if unspectacular play from QB Darryl Clark (7 TDs, 1 INT). But we’ll see how he responds under pressure—the Nittany Lions’ next three games get a lot more challenging as they have Illinois, @ Purdue and @ Wisconsin. If they can run that gauntlet, I’ll be a believer. But I’m not holding my breath.

6. Singular Names are Still Dumb, but . . .

And for my one positive note of the week, I bring you the Tulsa Golden Hurricane. In a year in which attention has been focused on BYU and possibly Utah as potential BCS busters, keep your eyes on Tulsa out of Conference USA. Through three games, Tulsa is second in the nation in total offense (587 yards per game) and fourth in scoring offense (52.3 points per game). QB David Johnson is simply unconscious—he’s on a pace for 4800+ yards passing and 60 touchdowns. The Golden Hurricane offense can put up video game type numbers. I know it’s early and they haven’t really played anybody yet. But their schedule is easy (they avoid East Carolina until a possible matchup in the CUSA title game) and, with this offense, there’s no reason to believe they can’t run the table. Would an undefeated CUSA season be enough to break into the BCS? Doubtful. But it’s still good to see a team who has always played third-fiddle in its own state achieve at a high level. Even if the head coach is the subject of a wrongful death lawsuit.

Obamanation? JayPa Looking to Do For Campaign What He Did for PSU?

Or not. But at least he can flaunt his father's name.

Today's Philly Inquirer mangles the younger Paterno, whose outspokenness on the 2008 election has garnered him tons of email - both supportive and in opposition.

Outstanding Kucinich reference, by the way:

"Apparently, Obama didn't miss the memo when it comes to politically invoking the Paterno name in Happy Valley. Though the salute to Jay drew a smattering of applause, when the senator from Illinois mentioned his cell-phone conversation with the elder Paterno, the crowd erupted - for an 81-year-old Republican.

For Jay Paterno, whose popularity is at Dennis Kucinich levels, this was no time to sit out. In February, he switched his registration from independent to Democrat so he could vote in today's presidential primary. And since then, he's done everything from registering voters to blogging on Obama's behalf - all on his own time."

More...

The Lions produced losing campaigns in four of the next five seasons as Jay became more involved in the offensive play-calling. In 2005, though, Penn State went 11-1 and Michael Robinson had one of the best seasons ever for a Lions quarterback. Two 9-4 seasons since then, fans still question whether Jay has his father's football acumen, let alone his politics.

Here's a link to the Nepotist Nittny Lions' QB coach's blog.

Separated at Birth: Alamo Bowl Edition

Texas A & M Apologizes For Paterno "Death Bed" Comment.

Still no apology from HHR for JoePa/Simon Birch comparison.