Dunbar the Dutch's Weekend NFL picks

After bruising assumptions of the NFL Defensive Player of the Year being able to slowdown a Boldin-less offense and Carson Palmer being able to throw a football, I am coming back like a spider monkey to make this weekend's picks.

Chargers over Jets - when one of the major storylines is that Sanchez is going to have friends and family at the game, it's time to go with the professional team rather than the kid trying to prove something to his dad and impress the girl with big cans.

Arizona over Saints - Saints are going to win this game, but by 7 points? That's looser than the moral standards during the NBA All-Star weekend.

Ravens over Colts - I'm on the rusty trombone train here with the Colts. It always gobbles up one team and with a rookie head coach playing the instrument, the Ravens are going to give them more than a hand full.

Vikings over Cowboys - if Favre goes with the gameplan and hands the ball to AP, they will be fine. Otherwise, go with the over on how many interceptions will be thrown.

Another weekend of acting like a sea otter by eating and drinking off my belly.

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Dunbar the Dutch: NFL Wildcard Picks

After watching Jimmy the Greek on ESPN last night instead of Texas' Gilbert trying to throw a football, I am in the gambling spirit.

If I or a co-worker named Nick Papageorgio were headed to Vegas this weekend for the NFL Wildcard games, these may (or may not) be the games I put money on without Lady Dunbar knowing.

• Dallas over Philly - the D has their number this year and have the answer to DeShaun Jackson or is it DaSheawn (this prediction may not be shared by other writers on the HHR staff)
• Green Bay over Arizona - after watching NFC North games all season, I know GB is tough and Rodgers can whip the ball. Arizona seems as soft and gooey as Kurt Warner's 38 year-old grocery clerk gut this season.
• Bengals over Jets - Jets have played garbage over the last few weeks, time for the Bengals to lockdown and test the Jets' run defense with emotions running higher than, well, the Bengal's locker room.
• Ravens over the Pats - I've watched plenty of Baltimore games this year, they're my 2010 team as I need to find another team to enjoy while being a Lions fan. The Welker injury hurts, and Baltimore has played tough competition all season with bounces that, if gone their way, they would have a bye this week. Look for the upset especially with the spread. Can't pick Pats because they are the Pats anymore.

One of the great weekends in sports. Who knows, I may be able to stay awake for the entire 8 pm Saturday game. But history indicates that I will fall asleep on the couch while holding a glass of scotch on my belly.

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Prop Bets

I find the prop bets being offered at Bookmaker.com down right hysterical.

Among them, a few pokes at the recently split "Tessica":


Which Celebrity Will Tony Romo Date This Season?

Natalie Gulbis +500
Malia Jones +450
Olivia Munn +500
Amy Adams +350
Kristen Bell +500
Megan Fox +350
Emmanuelle Chriqui +450


Which NFL Player will Jessica Simpson Date Next?

Tony Gonzalez | Kansas City Chiefs +350
Jason Taylor | Washington Redskins +350
Will Demps | Houston Texans +500
Matt Forte | Chicago Bears +500
Wes Welker | New England Patriots +300
Kerry Rhodes | New York Jets +300
Matt Leinart | Arizona Cardinals +300
Tom Brady | New England Patriots +800

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Excuse Me, Mr. Pit Boss...

But the gentleman at my table has a real "Phil Helmuth" funk wafting from his person.

"So what of it?"

Gambler Makes Stink About Casino Ejection Due To B.O.

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. -- A Brooklyn man who went on a shower-less 17-hour gambling spree at a New Jersey casino is demanding an apology for being ejected because of his body odor.

Ahh. A Philadelphia station reporting on a stinky New Yorker in a New Jersey casino.

They should have just tossed him into one of the pools at the casino's new Water Club.

But now the fun begins. Degenerate Philadelphia gamblers, no doubt with their own "brand" of effervescence, are sounding off on the story.

Go on, readers. Tell Fox Philly what you think.

(Personally, I agree with "JT": "Ten to one he was winning at the time. A casino wouldn't throw out a family of skunks as long as they were losing money.")