How to Bowl Like a Sportsblogger

When Jordan Hill took us bowling and showed off some Lebowski-esque skills (just your standard nonchalant behind-the-back-through-the-legs roll. No biggie), Lucas also took the opportunity to show off a trick shot of his own. The "Sportsblogger Shot" leverages the specific contours of the Sportsblogger's body type/hunch, to maximize both accuracy and irony.

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Playoff Time

Forget the NBA and NHL.

Today CBS is broadcasting the United States Bowling Congress' Clash of Champions.

Never before have I gotten so excited for bowling as when 17-year-old high school senior and 2007 U.S. Junior Amateur champion, Jenny Brown, knocked out 8 stikes in a row in a one-ball eliimination tournament before falling to the 33-year-old U.S. Women’s Open champion, Liz Johnson.

Good stuff watching the stoic youngster go toe-to-toe with the excitable vet.

Seriously.

Love this "Clash" format.

Writers Strike? Let's Roll.

As the entertainment industry turned the pop culture world upside down with the cancellation of the Golden Globe Awards, the writers strike has had more dire effects on the lives of the common man. Frankly, any self respecting gentleman who watches such awards shows are anything but.

The real problem with the strike is the lackluster attempt by broadcasters to fill the void for their regularly scheduled programing with half-assed reality and game shows.

Now tell me something. We've all watched sitcoms and television dramas. Are you telling me that your favorite bloggers looking to catch a break couldn't simply fill the shoes of these Hollywood writing honchos? I'm not pro or anti-writers union. In fact, I feel many of their demands are legitimate. But TV is killing me. Ariel no longer forces me to watch these reality 2-hour fill ins, because besides Law & Order reruns, of which I've seen just about every, I am stuck with the sports, the Food Network, NatGeo and Vin Di Bona nutshots. Sure I don't mind, but sometimes I just need senseless entertainment.

Because I don't see producers turning over the reigns of their established programs (or creating new ones) to diamonds in the rough, it looks like we are stuck with crap like the well-received Gladiators redux, anything the combo JD Roth and Wayne Arnold can come up with, or some spin off of Idol.

So, if we must go that route, at least have some obscure spin to it. How fun would it be to see the following?

Bowling with the Stars

See the likes of Wayne Netwon, Marie Osmond, Mark Cuban and Bruno Tonioli twinkle their toes down the lanes while judged by the Tuesday night co-ed team, the "Alley Catz."

The Biggest Bowler

300+ lb. Heavyweights compete for this prestigious distinction.

Project Bowler

Hosted by Tim Gunn, effeminate designers look to sassy up bowling attire. Make it work.

Bowler Nation

40 bowlers will have 40 days to build a new alley…in a ghost town that died in the 19th Century, as 11 year old Jared looks on, providing wisdom, guidance and talc.

America's Next Top Bowler

Tyra, how do you feel about tweeking your shitty show a bit?

American Bowler

Wannabe PBA'ers compete for the praises of crass judge Pete Weber, sexy judge Diana Asbaty (in a bikini) and former Journey touring bassist Randy Jackson, who's work helped redefine the Rock n' Bowl power ballad.

Pete F'n Weber.

Scott Baio is 45...and Bowling

Under the supervision of his personal bowling life coach, Dr. Walter Sobchak, he visits some of his old girlfriends over an eight-week period and asks them why they never went bowling.

Chachi, this is not Happy Days. This is bowling. There are rules.

--

Other ideas include:

• Bowler Swap
• Bowl of Love
  
• Bowling 911
• Iron Bowler America

Any ideas?

Diary of an Ex-HS Softball Player: Entry 11

Entry 11: Shake Your Tail Feather

On Wednesday the 28 of November, our company had a bowling party at the Brunswick Lanes in (Town Withheld). The initials D.M. were shown overhead. I was two lanes to the left and focused on completing a spare when I heard the shattering of ten defenseless pins.

Oh yes Gentlemen! A turkey pranced across the screen. D.M. thrusts her fist and rejoices. Curiosity took over, I maneuvered over to her lane, watched her slug down the rest of her Yuengling and hot wings, and glance up at the score. She fired a 187, went on to bowl 3 more games all eclipsing 150. Absolute monster.

Later seen doggy-baggin' left over sub sandwich parts and wings.

No, Pete Weber, you suck it.

My mind is in the gutter

When you think of women's bowling, certain images come to mind....not to play to any stereotypes but....



Yeah, that works.

But then I caught this commercial about 100 times on ESPN the past few days.



And I think the same thing every time. Who are the saucy numbers in the bikini and purple top. I never ran into them when I was 14 hanging at Rock and Bowl on Saturday nights. (It's Jersey, show me something else to do.)

After some serious digging I found Diandra Asbaty. Not too as-baddy.
And a couple of the ladies on the tour aren't doing so bad in the looks department.

Asbaty seems to be the only one to embrace that she doesn't look like someone on the men's tour. I am kind of feeling Clara Guerrero, but Robin Orlikowski and Shannon O'Keefe aren't far behind. Can I get a vote on this one? Who is the best of bunch (leave a comment.)

I might start watching some broads handle some balls. And then catch some women's bowling.

-posted by Fat Willard