Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Derby Day Approaches

Can you smell it? That quaffing aroma in the air is the smell of the Kentucky Derby. The mixture of horse sweat and manure brings a smile to my face.

My derby day will consist of going to the local racetrack early in the morning to make my bets, come home, start drinking, prepare for my derby party, watch some races on ESPN, drink some more, yell at the TV, coax people into drinking, make an off color remark about someone in the room, amuse myself in others’ discomfort, persuade people to gamble, ease up on the drinking by going to beer rather than liquor, start the grill, sloppily eat a burger, try to get people to drink more with me and then kick everyone out because I have to put the baby to sleep. I’m excited.

As I mentioned, the beginning part of the day consists of placing bets and coming home to watch the action. Rather than the standard handicapper that stays at the track, I watch my races on ESPN and NBC. If the broadcast is reminiscent of the Breeders Cup, watching the races will be a low point in the day.

During the Breeders Cup, the public had to suffer through hours of Kenny Mayne. Mayne has a place at the WWL, but being a major contributor to a four to five hour long broadcast is like a five beer beer-bong. The first bit is ok, but there is more, oh man, more, oh no, it keeps coming, I can’t. Uh, I made a mess.

Yeah, I get it Kenny, you’re sarcastic. Funny.

To add to the nausea, they put Mayne at a kiddie table with Hank Goldberg. The already disheveled Goldberg is only further confounded by Mayne’s stylings.

If ESPN is serious about horse racing and want people to watch their broadcast, the producers should reformat the show immediately.

However, my biggest qualm is with the changeover from ESPN to NBC. I have missed the second biggest race of the day the past few years because either ESPN cuts its broadcast to short or NBC fails to air it. This year’s Woodford Reserve Turf Classic post time is at 4:52 p.m. NBC begins to air its Kentucky Derby coverage at 5 p.m. The race will have implications in my Pick 4, Pick 3, Daily Double and whatever else wager I place on the race. I need to see this race. I don’t want to keep hitting refresh on my computer for results.

If you refuse to show this race, so help me, I will haunt your loveless dreams.

Anywho, I’m still excited.

Check early and often this week for the Reverend and my picks. Last time we delivered the Pick 3, we can only get better with age, right?


Ariel said...

You are an inspiration to soon-to-be parents like Ren and myself. Bravo, bravo.

Rusty said...

Rusty prefers Gold Cup (in-person) . . . although I've been 5 years running, I think i might have only seen 1 horse in that time, though I'm told they race them there.

I just go for the mint juleps, seersucker, and cigars. It's the one day of the year Rusty can shake his NASCAR t-shirt to blend in with the blue bloods . . . sort of

Chus said...

This is what I think: Kenny Mayne