Tom Brady's Baby Has a Blog

With permission, we're cross-posting the blog of Tom Brady's baby. Who is "the growing child of Tom Brady & Bridget Moynahan. I read at a collegiate level and my organs are made of gold." What was that? I'm what? No, YOU'RE mailing it in! No YOU are!

PiggyBack. Literally

You may have seen the now famous picture of me with Father and the Umlaut. What you might not realize is that I am not being carried by the Umlaut, but rather I am carrying her! Using my superior infant strength, I am putting her back in the vehicle that brought Her Skankness to our peaceful villa.

As you can see, Father and I are a perfect team, escorting a drunk and lightheaded Umlaut into a vehicle that will take her away from us at high speed. But every morning, there she is at our front door - passed out, oversexed, with several wallets and reeking of cough syrup. Think of it like the movie Homeward Bound, but instead of a cute dog finding his way home, its a retarded model with cocaine all over her face who can't be kept away.

Growth Note: Sucking on my pacifier actually pacifies others.

Picture Source: Flynet.