Thursday, December 11, 2008

Arena Football and Other Things Ruined By Bon Jovi

After 20 years, it's over, Johnny.

And we blame you.

Like everything else you touch, you once again had to ruin something that had so much potential.

A season after your Soul won the Arena Bowl and you force-fed your feathered mullet to sports fans across the country, the AFL goes down in a Blaze of Glory.

And in case you've forgotten, allow the HHR staff to remind you of other things you've ruined over the years.
  • Prayer
  • Love's name
  • Steel Horse Rides
  • Alec John Such's sweet gig of being in a huge band and unable to play the bass for shit
  • The Young Guns Franchise and Emilio Estevez
  • Ally McBeal
  • Acting in General
  • Medicine
  • EdTV
  • My Life
  • The Idea of Not Going Home
  • This town
  • Bouncing
  • His one-time hero Bobby's one-time criminal-free record
  • Saying Goodbye
  • Sambora's marriage
  • Running Away
  • The Chest Hair/Big Medallion Necklace/Hot Tub combination

Thanks, Jon. You couldn't just leave well enough alone.

Of course, if you looked deep into our eyes and crooned "I'll Be There for You," all would be forgiven.

5 comments:

bet said...

you are an idiot!

bet said...

Maybe he ruined the economy because Bon Jovi's Lost Highway tour tops the list of the biggest tours for 2008!

bet said...

Maybe he ruined the economy because Bon Jovi's Lost Highway tour tops the list of the biggest tours for 2008!

Scott @ WFNY said...

let's add "stretch denim" to the list...

The Prophet said...

Surprised that Richie Sambora couldn't come up with a better handle than "BET". Also, the jury is still out on the Pollstar ranking of highest grossing tours in North America. BJ toured extensively in Europe this year, and you just can't trust the musical taste of foreigners. Hell, Night Ranger is still big in Japan. I'd be willing to wager that either Madonna or Metallica will top the Pollstar standings for North America...

Add 80's heavy metal band Skid Row to the list--Bon Jovi discovered them and their first album was recorded under the lace glove covered iron fist of Jon BJ. Their second album "Slave to the Grind" was the first metal album to debut at #1 on the Billboard charts and is one of the underrated classics of the genre.

Also, don't forget that he ruined being a "little runaway".

Finally, in honor of Hoboken native Frank Sinatra's birthday tomorrow you can make a good case that BJ didn't exactly enhance the image of being from the Garden State...