Thursday, December 4, 2008

Iron Ref: The Lady is a Winner

Congrats to Lady Andrea, who moves on to the Final Round of Iron Ref. Her submission was the choice of both our esteemed panel of Judges as well as our commenters, who no doubt would like to wish her luck with hearty pats on the back and front. We at HHR cheer with a rousing chorus of motorboat sounds.

Align CenterJUDGE VOTING BREAKDOWN
CategoryAndreaScott
Presentation97
Pic/Vid Selection96
Originality69

Judge's were asked to rank each entry on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being the breast best in the categories above. So each number above is out of a possible 15. Ouchies. We have very well qualified judges, though none with such... umm huge... tracks of land.

Our judges for the Semi Finals are
  • AJ Daulerio - Editor of that Deadspin thing we've heard so much about and are meaning to check out at some point.
  • Dan Steinberg - He of the Washington Post's DC Sports Bog
  • Jeff Pearlman - Author of Boys will be Boys: The Glory Days and Party Nights of the Dallas Cowboys Dynasty. He is also a previous HHR interviewee.
For Andrea:
It may have been a cheap ploy by Lady Andrea to unleash the bologna bags upon an unsuspecting HHR nation, but it was a smart, tactical move by a woman who knows her audience and who's willing to do anything to score a victory. Original? Not so much, but I'm giving her 3 points in that category for moxie. -- The Hon. AJ Daulerio

Maybe it's just because I'm a 36-year-old married suburban dad with two kids, but the whole I've-got-breasts-and-you'll-be-mesmerized-because-you're-a-dolt-who-likes-sports thing fell off with Pam Anderson about eight years ago. Congrats, you have breasts, and they're sorta large. But who really cares? -- The Hon. Jeff Pearlman

You know, there was probably a time in my life when I'd have been in the can for Lady Andrea. I'm racking my brain over this. It's ddriving me crazy. Get it, two Ds? Anyhow, even if some evil remnant of objectification remains deep in the soul of men, I think we should all aspire to something grander than that, especially when we delve into the creative enterprises. And, no offense, but it's not like any of us have never seen the human chest before. -- The Hon. Dan Steinberg

For Scott:
Eh -- I appreciate the effort and Colbert impersonation, but what does this have to do with the theme? Scott seemed content on doing this Colbert bit regardless of what the topic was. It didn't quite work for me. He'll score one point higher in the "originality" category, but the overall execution was a little flaccid. -- The Hon. AJ Daulerio

Wasn't funny, didn't get it, never laughed. But I guess it's more original than a photo of some woman's juggs. -- The Hon. Jeff Pearlman

Always been a Jon Stewart guy, actually. But that's beside the point. Also, "be marry?" Did I miss the joke? If not, the father-is-an-English-professor part of me wanted to give this one an F and move on. But in general, I like Cleveland and I like consumables, I think, even if I don't quite understand why they're a secret. Also, Shin-Soo Choo was, to me, the one legitimate lol moment of this contest. -- The Hon. Dan Steinberg
So there you have it. Lady Andrea in the Finals vs. Either Jeff Pyatt or Evan. Next Monday you decide which one goes against the Lady(ies).


1 comment:

The Sports Hernia said...

Pearlman. Nicely done. The Bad Guys Won was phenomenal.