Thursday, January 15, 2009

Denver Nuggets Sign Corey Miller

In an unexpected move, the Denver Nuggets signed Corey Miller to one year deal. Miller is a well renown tattoo artist from Los Angeles.

"We were having tardiness and pain management issues this year," said Coach George Karl. "After looking at and talking with the players, it was obvious the problems stemmed from their penchant for body art."

GM Warkentien confirmed that the team hired an in-house tattoo artist.

"It a logical function for the team to provide," said Warkentien. "We hire medical personel, we might as well have them work in conjunction with artist to prevent infections and manage the pain. They both have passion for the body."

A visit to the locker room showed that the players were almost giddy with anticipation for the new member of the team.

"I need to feed my children" pronounced Kenyon Martin. "It was about time that they thought of this so I can provide for my family rather than pay exorbitant money to exercise my right to perfect my neck."

Miller was unavailable for comment, but a spokesman said that he was happy to join the team and is prepared for the rigorous grind of the NBA season.

Publicly released portions of the contract show that he will be paid the league minimum with performance bonuses including reductions in tardiness of players, cleaning up Chris Andersen and a per dragon stipend. He will also be able to perform on opposing players while on the road.

-Posted by C.R. Dunbar

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