Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Our Burning Questions for A-Rod

On WFAN's Carton and Boomer this AM, Carton asked Boomer "If you were at the press conference with A-Rod today, and had the chance to ask one question, what would you ask?" And, predictably, Boomer asked something about steroids.

That's a little lame, as every reporter there would be hounding him for a money quote on the issue.

So we thought, if we had one question to ask A-Rod, what would the average guy ask?

We came up with a set of real questions we want answers to, if for nothing else to keep A-Rod off his game and forget his pre-planned and rehearsed answers.

Reporters, take note.
  • "What's up with your purple lips?"
  • "Where was Jeter last night?"
  • "Madonna? Really?"
  • "How much do you pay in child support?"
  • "Did you know the game doesn't end after the 6th inning? This isn't slow pitch"
  • "Where is your favorite Toronto spot to keep it low-key with a stripper?"
  • "What's eating Gilbet Grape?"
  • "Who is John Galt?"
  • "Is it true you were caught sniffing Giambi's golden thong?"
  • "No you never did it, or no you were never caught?"
  • "Have you sought support from Bababooey?"
  • "Does the list of things you've put in your body, claiming you didn't know what they were, included penises?"
  • "After The Yankee Years came out, did you just want to put Torre over your knee and give him a good ol' fashioned spanking, or did you feel a bitch slap would suffice?"
  • "What's the square root of 'unclutch'?"
  • "Ever consider bunting?"
  • "So, you juiced up because you felt pressure to perform to your contract in Texas, yet, on the biggest baseball stage in the world, not so much?"
  • Finish this phrase, "The only thing in Texas are steers annndddd...."

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