Thursday, August 6, 2009

Communist Plot to Force-Feed Soccer to Americans Enters Next Phase

With the David Beckham Project a resounding disaster in elevating the popularity of the sport to US masses, shadowy soccer dictators are apparently hell-bent on using back channels to infiltrate American pop culture.

The UK's Sun is reporting that American Idol producer and former Spice Girl manager Simon Fuller is in talks to hire Mrs. Beckham, Victoria "Posh" Beckham, to replace recently-retired, drug-riddled judge Paul Abdul on the popular television talent show.

Says an unnamed source:

"Paula's absence leaves a big gap on the judging panel. At least 25 million viewers tune in every week.

"It needs a big star. Simon Cowell and Victoria have always got on. It would be an incredible coup to get Posh. She was in one of the biggest girl groups in history so she knows what she is talking about. Simon Fuller is now speaking to her."
One hopes Posh has honed her onscreen persona much better than her husband, who in a recent guest spot on Sports Center proved as bland and uninteresting as English cuisine.

Perhaps Fuller should consider hiring Landon Donovan as a special consultant to keep Mrs. Becks in line as he does her husband.

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