Footy Matt's 09-10 Premier League Preview‏

Cheerio Chaps. After a long summer of rowing, cycling, crap British golfers with ridiculous outfits, tennis ball at the lawn club and insufferable cricket coverage - the English Premier League kicks off it's season this Saturday. Thank God. Last year we just looked at the Big Four. Boring, I says to me last year self. Here is snap shot of what is up so you can hold your own with the next Brit you meet at the bar. Get in.

THE GOOD:

That winking wanking ball ache of an admittedly damn-good player Ronaldo left Man United for Real Madrid. This leaves a significant gap for the back-to-back champions to fill. Hopefully, it remains unfilled an the rest of those horrible bastards will fall in and not win the league again. My eyes cannot handle another Man U title win, I will go blind due to over exposure to rays of bastardness. But they will likely be very very good again, the bastards.

THE BAD:

Manchester City. If we thought Chelskis was deplorable in the 'fantasy-soccer-league-turned-reality' was too much, Manchester City upped the stakes by spending over £100 million of Dubai's finest dosh to bring in the attacking power of Carlos Tevez (Man U), Adebayor (Arsenal), Roque Santa Cruz (Blackburn). Though money is no object, they have not been as successful shoring up the defense. They did sign Kolo Toure (Arsenal), but they missed out on signing England Captian John Terry.

However, no one in Madchester cares. Especially, lifelong Man City fan, Noel Gallagher, had this to say,“I don’t like John Terry and I never have. He’s got funny eyes and he’s a cry baby. He’s also a Cockney.” Definitely Maybe, Noel.

THE UGLY:

Seriously. Who designs this shite? Have a look, The Sun has it all...

Top 10 naff kits for 2009-10

Coming later today: the predictions...

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