Friday, October 9, 2009

Cole Hamels' Newborn Awarded NL Cy Young Award

This morning, the newborn son of Cole and Heidi Hamels woke up to learn that he had been awarded the 2009 National League Cy Young Award.

The Baseball Writers Association of America noted that Hamels, despite having only been on the planet for mere hours, has shown "extraordinary efforts to strengthen his change-up."

While unable to speak for himself, proud papa Cole noted that his son was "both surprised and deeply humbled" by the award.

In a prepared statement, young Hamels expressed, "Let me be clear, I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments, but rather as an affirmation of Rich Dubee and Charlie Manuel's leadership on behalf of aspirations held by people in all of Philadelphia."

Partisan critics point out that the decision to award Hamels the National League Cy Young rewards him for not being Brad Lidge's son -- and for his aspirations rather than his achievements.

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Reverend Paul Revere said...

Great stuff.

BobH said...

Wow, that's stupendously unfunny.

Gonzo said...


GM-Carson said...

The kid deserves it!

The Griffin said...

He had a fantastic year. He has the stuff to lead the Phillies to the World Series.