CR Dunbar's Olympic Sized Bits and Pieces

I am going to tap into the eye of the tiger for today's bits and pieces:

• Americans had a bigger blowout last night than DJ Pauly D.
• If Scott Hamilton's head explodes into a bloody stump tonight from all twirling excitement, what happens? I imagine they have a contingency plan for this.
• Lindsey Vonn, so hot, want to touch the heiney. Aaaooo!
  

• When reporters get bored, they get snippy. I blame the lack of "services" now available to keep them happy on Tiger Woods.
• Surrender! (Keep an eye on Skier #2)
  
• What's the equivalent in Canada of Americans having their picture on the Wheaties box? Labatt Blue 12-pack?
• I haven't seen the bandanna try to make a comeback like this since Napoleon Dynamite.
  

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CR Dunbar's Olympic Sized Bits and Pieces

• Can't go skiing because it's snowing. I've been doing it wrong all these years.
• The prominence of primetime figure skating in the Olympics reminds me of the Conan/Leno fight. The Baby Boomer generation will never move out of the way.
• Nobunari Oda is the 17th descendant of Nobunaga Oda, a famous Japanese warlord. He honors his grandfather's warlord spirit with this outfit.

• NBC is drawing the line at sending Lindsey Jacobellis to the Fail Blog.
• Male athletes should stay away from slipping into the female biathlon hut when the Olympic Villiage inevitably becomes the lust village. You don't need a roid raged woman with impeccable endurance and mad sniper skills coming for you after a one night stand.

They already made Sirli Hanni from Estonia take a mug shot

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CR Dunbar's Olympic Sized Bits and Pieces

• The drama created by Johnny Weir and PETA has to be the worst contrived storyline of the games. All involved need to be Bob Barker'd: spayed or neutered.
• The only one not threatened is Weir's beautiful new female roommate, Tanith Belbin.
  

• How weird would it be to listen to Bob Costas' voice at a dinner party? Without staring at his head looking for hair-dye clumps.
• Pretty sure the US men in snowboard cross were wearing jeans during competition. That's an Olympic sport I can appreciate.
• Bode Miller is still relevant.
• Speed skating was delayed because of track problems, so NBC switched to doubles figure skating, so I shoved a pencil in my eye. Didn't expect that reaction out of me.
• It was cute when Canada had their gold medal ceremony. Someone should give little brother a noogie.
  

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CR Dunbar's Olympic Sized Bits and Pieces

As shut-ins get tingly about the Winter Olympics Ceremony this evening, I thought it was a good time to dust off my own bits and pieces for the occasion. On with the show:

• Is any reference to Brian Boitano still funny?
• Plenty of pressure on Canadian Hockey to win gold. Only 13-year old Romanian gymnasts know this kind of pressure. However, whereas the gymnasts are left in a hot box if they fail, the Canadian hockey players will probably get big hugs.
• I was looking for the winter equivalent of Summer Olympic's Handball that would sweep me off my feet and tell me I'm pretty, but it turns out there are only two team sports in the Winter Olympics: Hockey and Curling. Sorry scrubbers.
• Look for Belarus Men's Freestyle Skiing Aerialist Anton Kushner to start a twitter signup war with CNBC.
• First Winter Olympics since Blades of Glory. Iron Lotus references highly encouraged Scott Hamilton and Brian Boitano.

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What Would Brian Boitano Make?

What's Brian Boitano going to do on the Food Network? I bet he'll kick an ass or two.

Actually, no. He won't do that.

"What Would Brian Boitano Make?" - a not-so-subtle take on the South park parody song - debuted on the Food Network recently. At first I thought this could not possibly be real. I was mistaken.

I think Slashfood.com had the most dead-on description:

No, this is one of those "lifestyle" shows the Food Network is so adept at churning out -- more tailored to the host's persona and his or her niche than anything else. And to judge by the first episode, Brian's self-professed niche would be San Franciscan guys who like to entertain their single girlfriends, prepare fussy little crudités and "ride bikes on rainbows!"

The show airs Sundays at 1pm/12c.

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Wake Her Up Before You Go-Go

Goes a bang, bang bang!

Democrats on Ice

Image: Washington Post

ABC News' Senior National Correspondent in the network's Washington bureau, Jake Tapper, reported today that "[Hillary Clinton's] securing the nomination is certainly possible - but it will require exercising the 'Tonya Harding option'" according to a Democratic Party official.

Tapper notes:

It implies that Clinton is so set on ensuring that Obama doesn't get the nomination, not only is she willing to take extra-ruthless steps, but in the end neither she nor Obama win the gold.

(In this metaphor, presumably, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., would be Oksana Baiul. Does that make former President Bill Clinton Jeff Gillooly?)